


Truth or Badger

by MarshmallowMcGonagall



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aurors, Death Eaters, F/M, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, Unforgivable Curses (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2020-09-26 02:40:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 118,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20382328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshmallowMcGonagall/pseuds/MarshmallowMcGonagall
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks is stationed in Hogsmeade. Severus Snape is the newly appointed DADA Professor. A few weeks into the school year and late one night in the corridors of Hogwarts, an Auror and a Professor run into each other. A diversion to the kitchens and a touch of Veritaserum creates a connection neither anticipated.





	1. Chapter 1

Snape strode through the corridors and students in his way didn’t require a word of encouragement to move. It was late at night and his fury had already displaced several young couples trying to find what private space they could in the old castle, which for all its hidden passageways had a habit of allowing students to be stumbled upon with ease after curfew. Two Ravenclaws were running back to their tower having been discovered when a tapestry they were behind had shrunk back in fright at the presence of the professor who managed to make a foul mood look tame.

Snape didn’t stop until there was a person who wasn’t to be moved by his fury. He stopped, ready to unleash his anger, when the person turned. At first glance, he thought the woman was Andromeda. The hair was the same dark brown but the features weren’t as sharp, and he knew Andromeda wouldn’t wear such simple robes. Tonks. Nymphadora. Tonks? The pink hair was gone and the usual spark in her eyes muted, if not in fact a trick of the light from the torches that blazed nearby. He thought she had been skipping Order meetings but he realised he had seen this woman lurking in the back corners of rooms, swamped in robes that as she did now she held around herself.

“Snape?” said Tonks, looking at him as if through a haze.

“Aren’t you meant to be patrolling in Hogsmeade?”

“No,” she said. “Night off, I was looking for Dumbledore.”

“He isn’t here tonight,” said Snape. “Why did you need to see him?”

Tonks shook her head.

She made to move but tripped on her robes. Snape grabbed her and he could feel how little was within the robes. He let go as she regained her balance. He looked her up and down, the baggy robes, her face which wasn’t as sharp as her mother’s but was sharper than it used to be.

“Sorry,” she said, sniffing. “I’ll get back to Hogsmeade.”

“Stop,” said Snape, glancing back down the corridor. “Follow me.”

Tonks stared at him but he was already walking away from her. She caught up with him and wrapped her arms around herself when she fell into step with him. “I’m a bit past needing to be taken back to my common room.”

“With your carelessness tonight, you could have fooled me.”

“Don’t be an arse.” 

Snape stopped to turn and look at her, and she almost walked into him.

“Would you say that to Moody?” he asked.

Tonks snorted. “He hexed me last week because I didn’t have my wand out,” she said. “All I did was walk into the Auror office.”

“He has a point,” said Snape. “You must be more careful, Nymphadora.”

Tonks had her wand in Snape’s face before he could raise his own.

“My name is Tonks,” she said. “Only my mother gets to call my Nymphadora now, and no one else. Do you understand me?”

“What on earth does Ted call you?” 

“Dora.”

“Kitchens, now,” said Snape, batting Tonks’s wand out of his face.

“I’m not scrubbing dishes for being out late or having poor wandwork.”

“Detentions never deterred you when you were a student,” said Snape, “I fail to see why they would work now.”

“Professor Sprout used to call me incorrigible,” said Tonks, with quiet pride.

“That’s not what she called you in the staff room,” said Snape, tickling the pear on the painting that protected the doorway into the kitchens.

“Thanks, Sir.” 

“In,” said Snape, sharply, gesturing inside the kitchens.

Tonks walked into the cavernous room which echoed the Great Hall above with the mirrored spread of house tables across the flagstones. House-elves were milling around the edges of the room where copper pots and pans hung from the walls, and shelves took up what space was left. Ancient wood panels lined the upper walls, interrupted by stone columns that formed the vaulted ceiling. Scenes of the founders, feasts and food painted on the wood were faded after hundreds of years of hot ovens and steaming pans. Patches of colour littered the room like autumn leaves.

Snape halted in front of the tables and Tonks stopped a few feet from him. He turned and walked towards a smaller set of tables and benches that sat tucked away at the end of the room. Tonks frowned but followed him. Snape sat down at one of the tables, and Tonks sank onto the wooden bench on the other side, her hands resting on the wood that showed its age unlike the tables in the Great Hall.

A house-elf appeared at the end of the table and edged towards Snape with a hesitant look at Tonks.

“Broth and bread, please,” said Snape. The house-elf nodded and Snape turned back to Tonks. “I'll confess I did enjoy your metamorphosing into Sinistra.”

“Professor Sinistra lent me a set of her robes,” said Tonks, with a faint smile on her lips that somehow still quaked. “She didn’t think Professor Vector would forgive her, but the opportunity was too good to miss.”

“Why are you here, Tonks?” 

Snape and Tonks both gave their thanks to the house-elves who brought over two bowls of broth and a large plate piled high with bread rolls. Tonks stared at the broth as if it were a potion she hadn’t seen before. Snape wondered how many meals she had been missing.

“If you are so inclined as to wish offence towards the house-elves,” said Snape, “there are simpler ways of doing it than refusing the food they’ve made.”

Tonks looked up, the haze still lingering around the edges of her vision. She nodded and reached for her spoon, then fumbled and dropped it on the table. The clank reverberated through the room. She took a deep breath and rubbed her face. Snape picked up a roll, dipped it in Tonks’s bowl of soup, and brought it up to her hands. Their fingers brushed against each other as she took the roll.

“Thank you,” she said.

Her words were so quiet that it was only by watching her lips move that Snape was sure Tonks had spoken.

She held her other hand under the roll and brought it to her mouth. The roll had soaked up the broth and the flavours almost overwhelmed her. She couldn’t remember when she had last eaten hot food. Probably when she had last accepted an invitation to the Burrow and forced herself to stay.

Snape ate spoonfuls of soup each time Tonks seemed to slow down, the clank of his spoon against the bowl stirring her to dip the roll in the broth. After more mouthfuls, she reached for her spoon and began a slow if steady rhythm of downing the soup.

“Remus won’t leave me,” said Tonks.

She left the spoon in the bowl and pushed it a few inches away. There was half of the broth left but Snape couldn’t doubt that she had made an effort. He put his spoon down and pushed his bowl away, too. House-elves appeared and removed the dishes.

“He loves Sirius,” said Snape.

Tonks stared at him and nodded.

“You knew?” said Tonks.

Snape shrugged.

She frowned and looked down at her fidgeting fingers. “I think we might have been the only two that didn’t know.” She let slip a small hollow laugh. “The worse things have got out there, the worse his guilt over Sirius has been.” She took several breaths, stumbling each time she tried to talk. “He says Sirius’s name while he’s asleep.”

A house-elf pushed a tray with two mugs of hot chocolate onto the table. Snape stared at the house-elf and sighed when he was met with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. Snape gave the slightest nod and the house-elf likewise nodded, looking marginally happier. Snape lifted one hot chocolate off the tray and placed it in front of Tonks before taking the other mug for himself.

Tonks slipped her hands around the mug and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and stretched her neck before letting herself sink back to how she had been sitting.

“Remus won’t have been unfaithful to you,” said Snape.

“I didn’t think he would,” said Tonks. “But he won’t let me end things, either. He knows that I—he doesn’t want to let me down—I don’t think he wants me to be alone.”

“We’re at war,” said Snape. “Even if some people still try to pretend that isn’t the truth.”

“He hasn’t got time to not be with the person he loves,” she said, and wiped her face with the sleeve of her robes.

“But it still hurts.” 

Tonks nodded, having abandoned her hot chocolate altogether, and had her head in her hands.

“And you know you’re going to cause hurt,” he added, quietly.

Snape listened to the muffled sobs, and took a tiny vial from the pocket of his robes. The glass rumbled over the dented wood as he pushed the vial towards Tonks. His hand stopped just short of where the sleeves of her robes had slid down her arms and gathered on the table.

She peeked over her hands, then looked at Snape and sat up. “Veritaserum?” she said, wiping her red eyes and blotchy cheeks.

“You were not a wholly incompetent potions student.”

“Why?” 

“I assume because you studied and were serious regarding your intentions of becoming an Auror.” 

Tonks picked up the vial, and her touch gentle, turned it in her fingers. She stroked the soft rounded edge of the unbroken wax seal with her fingertip.

“I take it you don’t need the reminder of what dose to use?” asked Snape. “I was appalled last year to find how Ministry standards are slipping.”

“You hate Remus and Sirius.” 

“Remus and I seem to be the only ones who are content with an accord that renders us unlikely to try and kill each other,” said Snape, letting his gaze wander across Tonks’s face. “Sirius and I hated each other as children and neither of us is inclined to change the habit of a lifetime.” He noted the dark circles under her eyes, and marks of other fights smattered across her face. “But this is war and everyone has limits.”

“I don’t think Remus even knows that Sirius loves him,” said Tonks, putting the Veritaserum back on the table.

“Sirius isn’t known for his subtlety.” 

Tonks snorted and shook her head. “No. But he and I, we’re the, uh, black sheep of the family along with mum.”

“Quite.” 

“If Remus was with anyone else, Sirius would have made a move,” said Tonks, digging her fingers into her hair and bowing her head, elbows resting on the table. “But there’s something kind of bonding about being blasted off the family tree.” She stared at the innocuous vial of Veritaserum. It had fitted in her palm as if it was meant to be there. There was enough inside to spill hundreds of secrets. “And Remus knows that.”

“What has your mother suggested?” asked Snape, before taking a swig of the hot chocolate. It wasn’t Firewhisky but he wasn’t about to challenge the house-elves.

Tonks looked up at Snape from under long eyelashes, and loose strands of tousled hair fell past her shoulders. A bright blush rushed to her cheeks and she wrestled a smirk as her glance went against her will to the Veritaserum.

Snape allowed himself a laugh.

Tonks glanced back at him and stopped fighting her smile.

A house-elf appeared at the end of the table, and with the expression of one trying to hold back a number of expletives gave a delicate cough and pointed at Tonks’s hot chocolate.

“Sorry,” said Tonks, picking up her mug.

The house-elf nodded and left.

Tonks shrugged. “Better manners than Moody.”

“He cares,” said Snape. “You know he’s seen many an Auror die.”

“Yes.” She lifted the mug to her lips and closed her eyes as she drank. She opened her eyes and stared at Snape, licking her lips as she lowered her mug to the table. “Mostly fighting Death Eaters.”

Snape’s short derisive laugh faded away before Tonks could sit up straight.

“Pray tell, how long were you an Auror before you looked up your old potions Professor?” he said, standing up and walking around the table towards the doorway. “Or are you truly Moody’s protege as everyone suggests?”

Sugar rush or Snape’s imposing stature, Tonks found herself moving with haste to stand up. Her robes, the wooden bench, the two hours of sleep she was functioning on. She twisted and stumbled. Snape lunged and caught her. She grabbed ahold of him, and he pulled her up. They looked at each other, gazes fixed, knowing that to look down meant seeing her hand was atop his Dark Mark. The tight grasp of her hand kept from his branded skin by his robes.

“I didn’t look,” said Tonks, holding her head high as her heart pounded and her grasp on him loosened.

“Three drops,” said Snape, as he let go of her.

He turned on his heel and strode out of the kitchens.

Tonks grabbed the Veritaserum, ran out of the kitchens and down the corridor, but Snape was gone. She slowed her pace, wand in one hand, Veritaserum in the other. Standing in front of the great oak doors that would lead her outside, she glanced back before slipping out of the castle. Snape stepped out from the shadows and lifted the Disillusionment Charm as he walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Snape walked to the hospital wing, through the empty ward, and into Poppy Pomfrey’s office.

“Hello sunshine,” said Poppy, looking up from her parchment and book covered desk. Snape shot her a withering glance but nonetheless sat down in the chair opposite her. “Should I bother telling you that you ought to be in bed already?”

“I am in need of occupation,” said Snape.

“Firewhisky is in the top cupboards,” she said. “Don’t skimp.”

Snape walked over to the wall of shelves and cupboards. Shelves heaving with medical textbooks of varying ages, conditions, legality, and stains. In the cupboards above, Snape found Poppy’s supply of chocolate, tea, coffee, and Firewhisky. In another cupboard there were mugs, glasses, and the distinctly uncomfortable presence of vials which really ought not to be added to the other beverages on offer. Snape took the Firewhisky, two glasses, and one of the vials.

“Does Slughorn know you have this?” he said, placing his haul on Poppy’s desk. She looked up from a piece of parchment she had read several times already. She saw the vial, picked it up, and dropped it in one of the desk drawers.

“There is a lot Horace doesn’t know,” she said, “and it's for his own good.” She took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “It’s there should pupils need it, and he doesn’t need to know that. His curiosity is a curse.”

“Quite,” said Snape, opening the Firewhisky and pouring it into the glasses. He didn’t skimp. Poppy picked up her glass and clinked it against Snape’s. “Except he brewed it.”

“And he doesn’t remember,” said Poppy. “Unless you want to know how I persuaded him to give it to me for school supplies instead of selling it for a tidy profit, I suggest you consider how much you want to know about your old head of house.”

Snape put down his glass and held his hands up in surrender. Poppy laughed. He lowered his hands and picked up his glass.

“What are you doing here, Severus?” she said.

“Getting your potions requests,” he said. “Unless you want Slughorn to start handling school supplies.”

“You’re doing too much,” she said. “Horace can take time out of his demanding dinner schedule and weekend lie ins.” She sat back, glass in hand, and studied Snape properly for the first time since he had come in. “You have no such free time to give up.”

“I enjoy brewing,” he said, simply.

“And Voldemort is keeping you quite busy enough on that front, isn’t he?” she said, watching him with concern. Snape took a long draught of his Firewhisky and couldn’t stop himself flinching at the bite.

“You need to stock a better vintage,” he said.

“Child,” she said, her frown deepening when he rolled his eyes. “Let me keep Horace entertained in a way that disgusts you least, and let yourself be relieved of one burden.”

“Here I thought my mid-thirties were my peak,” he said, dryly.

“Strip,” she commanded. Snape coughed, caught his breath, and shook his head.

“I’m sure Horace would oblige,” he said.

“I haven’t got a Draught of Peace strong enough to get me through that,” she said. “Show me you aren’t sustaining more injuries.” She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She sat back and wrapped both hands around her glass of Firewhisky. “You aren’t going to tell me Voldemort no longer believes in his methods of old, are you?”

“No,” said Snape. He looked up at the woman who had known him since he was eleven. The woman who had dosed him with potions, healed wounds, repaired curse damage. Who had never needed to ask why. Who hadn’t flinched when the youngest professor at Hogwarts had staggered into the hospital wing in the middle of the night, wearing Death Eater robes, and collapsed on the floor, twitching and bleeding. Snape picked up the Firewhisky and Poppy held out her glass. He topped up both glasses. He put the bottle down and picked up his glass.

“The hospital wing will always be open to you,” she said, taking a sip.

“I know,” he said, downing his Firewhisky. He didn't flinch this time

The Ministry had rented rooms in Hogsmeade at the Hog's Head Inn for Proudfoot, Savage, Dawlish, and Tonks. There were no edicts about having additional guests in their rooms, but nonetheless, the Aurors for all their excellence in the field had a habit of sneaking people into their rooms with the subtlety of teenagers. Proudfoot blushed furiously when Savage and Tonks saw her leading her girlfriend into her room. Savage took their boyfriend to their room with a Disillusionment Charm aided success that ended when Dawlish managed a well guessed aim with an Aguamenti. Savage got their revenge when Dawlish tried to sneak his girlfriend into his room. Aberforth had done his utmost to keep his composure when faced with two guilty Aurors, a girlfriend, and a chaotic mess that he made a point to tell the Weasley twins about when he saw them next. Remus was always prepared when Tonks tried to get him to climb in the window or shimmy down the chimney. He walked in the front door of the Hog's Head Inn, carried a tray laden with tumblers of Firewhisky upstairs, and always slipped into Tonks’s room unscathed albeit minus some Firewhisky.

Tonks was sitting on her bed, staring at the empty fireplace, still in her robes, still turning the vial of Veritaserum with her fingers. She rubbed her thumb over the glass where a speck of dirt had stuck. With exquisite slowness, she traced the wax seal with her fingertip. All too soon she was back where she started. The room was warded to allow Remus in and when she heard the door handle turn, she froze, the vial inside her tight grip. Her eyes darted around the room and she leapt up and tucked the Veritaserum inside a small bag she kept on the dresser.

Remus walked in and Tonks turned to see his brow furrowed.

“What’s happened?” he said, tray in one hand, closing the door behind himself.

There were two tumblers on the tray and Firewhisky sloshed against the glass as Remus turned back to Tonks. He put the tray down on the dresser and stepped closer to Tonks. He pushed her hair out of her face. She tried to smile but Remus could see that she was having to force herself. She reached up and held the edges of his robes. On tiptoe, she stretched up and kissed him. Remus put his arms around her just as she broke the kiss. She sunk back down and rested her head on his chest.

“Long day?” he said. She nodded. “Any attacks?”

“No,” she said. “No, nothing like that.”

“Is everything okay at Hogwarts?” he said. “Harry, is he - ”

“Remus, can we just go to bed?” she said.

“Of course,” he said, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Let me use the bathroom first, and then we can settle down, have an early night.”

“Yes,” said Tonks. It was past midnight. She rubbed her face. Since the war had begun, early nights were something of a joke in the Auror office.

Remus disappeared into the small ensuite bathroom and Tonks stared at the dresser. The bag with the Veritaserum inside and the tray with the glasses of Firewhisky. She glanced at the bathroom door and went to the dresser. She pulled the vial out of the bag and broke the seal. Another glance at the bathroom door. She shouldn’t be doing this. She should have thought this through. She should have checked her mother wasn’t joking. She could see through all her other failed plans. She had to stop this. They had to stop. Three drops in one of the tumblers, the vial stoppered and back in the bag as the bathroom door handle turned. She knew her mother was serious. Tonks picked up both tumblers and handed one to Remus.

“Here’s to a good night’s sleep,” said Remus, raising his glass. Tonks’s laugh was hollow but she raised her glass. Their tumblers clinked against each other. They both drank deeply. Tonks put her tumbler back on the tray and watched Remus take another mouthful before putting his tumbler back. She had an hour.

Tonks closed the distance and, hands on Remus’s face, pulled him closer. Her lips on his. She wanted to cry.

“What happened to an early night?” murmured Remus, his lips brushing hers. She responded by deepening the kiss. Their robes were soon spread across the floor, the efficiency of exhaustion fuelling them as they made their way to Tonks’s bed.

“Nox,” said Tonks, her one concession to what was going to follow. She couldn’t bare to see his face if her spontaneity masquerading as a plan worked.

They had years of friendship behind them. Somewhere along the way a line blurred and led them to each other’s beds. Sirius had reappeared in their lives not long after the line blurred.

Naked bodies that knew each other intimately. Scars and pleasure points. Trails of touches that heightened tension and movements that elicited unstoppable exclamations. Tonks whimpered each time she tasted the Firewhiskey in Remus’s kiss.

Tonks’s fingers dug into Remus’s shoulders and his lips were at her neck. She knew it wouldn’t be long.

“Do you love me?” she said, unable to stop herself.

“Yes,” said Remus, nipping her neck.

Tonks’s legs were wrapped around Remus and she tightened her hold on him. She tried to lose herself in the moment. This was war. This might be the last time she shared her bed. She tried. Remus’s movements became faster. Not much longer. She held on.

She felt him come as he said, “Sirius!”

Remus froze. Tonks loosened her grip. Her legs falling from around him, her hands releasing his shoulders. Her feet landing on the mattress, her hands up on the pillow.

So there it was. That was it. Three drops was all it took.

They were in the dark and still Tonks closed her eyes. Remus’s chest heaved with panicked breaths. They still brushed against each other. She wanted him gone. She wanted him to stay. She wanted him to be happy.

“Go to him,” said Tonks, softly. The Veritaserum might last a little longer, but she had minutes. “We can talk another time.”

Remus climbed out of the bed. Cold air rushed in with Remus’s absence and Tonks shivered. She didn’t move and she didn’t open her eyes.

“Lumos,” he said, keeping his wand directed away from her. Remus dressed quickly. His hand on the door handle, he hesitated. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“I know,” she said.

Remus left, taking the light with him. Tonks opened her eyes to the dark room. She curled up on her side and pulled the blankets up. Sitting in the Hogwarts kitchen with Snape seemed like a lifetime ago. The reminders that Remus had been with her minutes before were inescapable. She looked out the window at the dark sky, grateful she couldn’t see the moon. She needed to be putting on her Auror robes in a few hours. She closed her eyes and hoped she might find something that resembled sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus ran towards the kitchen of Grimmauld Place and staggered when he came to a halt in the doorway. Sirius glanced at him, bemused, then turned back to the cupboard he was rifling through.

“Back early, aren’t you?” said Sirius.

“Yes,” said Remus. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Moony,” said Sirius. Glasses clinked against each other and Sirius peered into the back of the cupboard. There had been more Firewhisky, he was sure of it.

“I love you, Sirius, I love you,” said Remus. Sirius turned slowly and looked Remus up and down, his brow furrowing and his arms crossed.

“Are you drunk?” said Sirius. “Is this where all my Firewhisky has gone?” Remus’s chest was heaving and there was a sheen of sweat across his face. Sirius walked over to him and held his hand up against Remus’s forehead for a moment. “Are you feeling ill? Do I need to get Pomfrey?”

“Maybe, no, no, no, I love you,” said Remus, and he lunged towards Sirius, grabbing his face with both his hands. Remus pressed his lips against Sirius’s. Sirius moaned against Remus’s mouth, tasting the lingering traces of Firewhisky. Sirius grabbed Remus’s arm, his hands struggling to grasp the muscles rippling beneath Remus’s simple robes. Sirius pulled back and looked down.

“You’ve been drinking, Remus,” said Sirius.

“You - you don’t want this?” said Remus, the pain in his voice piercing Sirius.

“I want this,” said Sirius, meeting Remus’s panicked gaze. “Oh Merlin, I want this, but you have Tonks, what happened?”

“I shouted your name during sex,” said Remus, “and she told me to go, she didn’t seem surprised, either, and I think it’s over.”

“Take it from a pro,” said Sirius, “shouting the wrong name during sex means it’s over.” Sirius couldn’t stop himself grinning. “So she knew, huh? Poor Moony, always the last to know.” Sirius looked Remus up and down. “In the middle of sex? That’s not very you.”

“Yes, yes, I couldn’t help it,” said Remus, frowning. Sirius looked at him curiously, then started laughing, a sound that made Remus’s heart race faster. “This is funny to you?”

Sirius stepped back, putting his hand over his mouth in an attempt at modesty that was entirely too late and unsuccessful. Sirius leant against the table and gripped the wood as he watched Remus squirm.

“Drink anything before you had sex?” said Sirius, eyebrows raised.

“Yes,” said Remus. His eyes widened and his lips parted. Sirius smirked and licked his lips. “How - how could she - she’s a Hufflepuff!”

Sirius’s bark of laughter filled the room as he watched the love of his life stumble back against the wall, hands over his mouth.

“Tonks trusts her mother more than anyone else,” said Sirius, taking slow steps towards Remus. “And Tonks would absolutely ask her mother for dating advice.” Sirius stopped a few inches from Remus, whose shock was slowly shifting into disbelief. “Andromeda would have no problem suggesting Veritaserum to make sure things were said that needed to be said.”

“Isn’t that illegal?” said Remus, his voice strangled. 

“Andromeda, Tonks, and I, were blasted off the family tree,” said Sirius, his fingers tracing slowly up Remus’s arms. “But you do recall who Tonks’s aunts are? Who her grandmother was?”

“Yes, yes,” said Remus. Sirius chuckled and Remus grimaced.

“She’s a bloody fantastic Auror and Moody has drummed the law into her, but she will always be from a long line of women who are Slytherin to their core,” said Sirius, his hands coming to rest on Remus’s shoulders. Remus hesitated and reached out, his hands settling on Sirius’s waist. “Don’t think for a second that those parts of who she is are incompatible.” Sirius stroked Remus’s cheek. “And she loves you.”

“Your family is terrifying,” said Remus.

“Scared Moony?” said Sirius, with a wicked grin.

“Yes,” said Remus.

“Excellent,” said Sirius, and he kissed Remus. Remus whimpered and Sirius thought he would never tire of that sound. When Sirius started contemplating how many buttons needed to be undone before getting Remus into bed, he managed to pull himself away. “What did Tonks say after you shouted my name?”

“She told me to go to you and that we could talk another time,” he said. “You’re enjoying this too much.”

“Oh yes,” said Sirius, with a small smile. Sirius took a deep breath and looked up at the vaulted ceiling of the kitchen before meeting Remus’s gaze. “I think we should talk later, too.”

“I’ll go,” said Remus, stepping out of Sirius’s grasp, and away from him, fumbling with his robes. “I’ll find somewhere for the night.”

“You have somewhere,” said Sirius, “you know exactly where my bed is.” Remus shot Sirius a glance. “But I need to talk to Andromeda.”

“She’ll kill me,” said Remus. 

Sirius’s silence didn’t comfort Remus. Sirius looked at the fireplace, his mouth twisting. Remus watched Sirius’s mouth and nearly fell to his knees.

“It's probably best I go on my own,” said Sirius. “It’s not you, it’s a Black thing.” He moved closer to Remus, and Remus stood frozen on the spot as Sirius leant closer and placed a light kiss on his neck. Sirius stepped back and put his hands on his hips. He needed to speak to Andromeda, he owed Tonks that. “When did you drink the Veritaserum?”

“Forty minutes ago,” said Remus, glancing at the large clock which hung above the fireplace.

“Poor Tonks,” said Sirius. “Forty minutes ago?”

“Yes,” said Remus, through gritted teeth.

“I won’t be long,” said Sirius. “Go take a bath and warm up the bed?”

“Yes,” said Remus, with a delicious blush that made Sirius want to run across the room and lock himself away from the world with Remus. No length of time would be enough.

“I love you,” said Sirius.

“I love you, too,” said Remus. They looked at each other, soft smiles dancing on their lips, breaths coming more easily than they had in years. Neither wanted to walk away minutes after finding each other but neither needed to say that they both loved Tonks, too. Sirius walked towards the fireplace, only looking back to blow a kiss to Remus who caught it in his hand and held it to his chest. Remus watched Sirius throw Floo powder and call out for Andromeda and Ted’s house. Sirius stepped into the fireplace and when he disappeared, Remus headed for the obnoxiously big obsidian bathtub in Sirius’s bathroom.

Sirius stepped out of the fireplace in Andromeda and Ted’s kitchen with his hands over his eyes. 

“Andromeda?” said Sirius. “Ted? Is anyone awake?”

“Oh do stop it,” said Andromeda, to a small chorus of hearty laughter, “it’s been over twenty years.”

“You’re safe,” said Ted. 

“Thank you,” said Sirius, grinning as he dropped his hands and opened his eyes. “What can I say? I learned my lesson.” He caught sight of Moody sitting at the kitchen table with Ted, playing cards spread out in front of them. “The second time, anyway.” A black chicken ran out from under the table and Andromeda ran after it, grabbing the bird before it could head out of the room. It gave an indignant cluck.

“Walburga and I had a disagreement about going into the coop,” said Andromeda.

“Best my mother’s ever looked,” said Sirius.

“Doesn’t she just?” said Andromeda. Even Moody’s magic eye stayed focused on the cards as Ted played another card. “Why are you here?” Andromeda looked at the clock. “You’re always welcome, but this is late, even for you.”

“It’s Tonks and Remus,” said Sirius. Ted and Moody looked up. “They’re okay, they’re safe, it’s - it’s Black business.”

“Sirius?” said Ted, standing up and walking towards his wife and Sirius. Moody’s wooden leg knocked against the wooden floor as he followed Ted. “What’s going on?”

“They’ve broken up,” said Sirius. 

“You can’t kill Remus,” said Moody, looking at Andromeda. She glared at him, her eyes narrowed. 

“You should never have told him that story about Walburga,” said Andromeda, looking at Sirius. Andromeda looked at Walburga the chicken and the air crackled around her with frustration. For a moment she looked every bit as terrifying as her sisters usually did. The men around her were glad she was wielding a chicken and not her wand. Sirius held his hands up.

“They’re the closest to warm memories that I have, Andromeda," said Sirius.

“What about Uncle Alphard?” said Andromeda, her posture softening and her voice pleading. “He taught us things that were so much more legal, why not tell those stories?” She looked at Moody. “Completely legal, they were all completely legal, he was the good one in the family.”

Ted stepped behind Andromeda and put his hand on her shoulders. “Moody knows you wouldn’t do anything illegal,” said Ted. “However, Moody and I will take Walburga back to the coop and let you and Sirius talk.”

“The Unforgivable Curses are still illegal,” said Moody. Andromeda shoved Walburga at him and he grappled with the disgruntled chicken. Sirius rocked on his heels and grinned unrepentantly. “Behave yourselves.” Moody stomped out of the kitchen, muttering to Walburga about the Black family.

“Is Dora okay?” said Ted, rubbing Andromeda’s arm. She leant back against him and sighed. “Is Remus okay?”

“She spiked Remus’s Firewhisky with Veritaserum,” said Sirius. Andromeda stiffened. Ted kissed her shoulder.

“I’m going to save Moody from Walburga,” said Ted. Andromeda turned, took Ted’s face in her hands, and kissed him. “Shameless.” Andromeda nodded and Ted left the kitchen. She watched until the door closed and she heard Moody swear at Walburga. She turned back to Sirius who was chewing his lip.

“What happened?” she said.

“She spiked the Firewhisky right before they had sex,” he said. Ted was right, their family was shameless. It saved time, if nothing else.

“I suggested the Veritaserum,” said Andromeda, her admission comfortable, “I didn’t say she should use it before sex.” She sighed and looked up at the mantelpiece covered in family photos. “Oh, Nymphadora.”

“She knew Remus wouldn’t have accepted the truth any other way," said Sirius. "Shouting my name during sex was probably the one thing he couldn’t explain away.” Andromeda nodded. “You can’t kill him.” She rolled her eyes and started pacing the kitchen.

“Is Remus okay?” she said.

“Overwhelmed,” said Sirius. “He said Tonks told him to go to me, that they could talk later.”

“She’s so like Ted,” said Andromeda, and stopped pacing when Sirius laughed. “Apart from the spiking drinks.”

“There’s more Black in her than I think any of us realised," said Sirius. "You didn’t give her the Veritaserum?” Andromeda shook her head and glanced up at the clock.

“How long ago did this happen?” said Andromeda.

“An hour?” said Sirius. Andromeda fixed him with a stare and raised an eyebrow. He coughed. “Remus is suffering enough.” 

“Quite,” she said. “Knowing Nymphadora, she’s probably still awake but I don’t know how much she’d appreciate me turning up at the Hog’s Head. And I need to brew.”

“Brew?” said Sirius. 

“Yes,” said Andromeda, and Sirius knew pressing her further about what precisely she would be brewing would end with him on the wrong end of her wand. “Last time she brewed I had to help her clean the ceiling.”

“Tonks is great with potions,” said Sirius, his brow furrowing. “Where’d she get the Veritaserum from, then, if not you?” Andromeda met his gaze, and he could see her warring with herself. “You know, don’t you?”

“I have a hunch,” she said.

“Andromeda?”

“If it is who I think it is,” she said, “then something big happened for that to happen.”

“You do know,” he said.

“Do not say a word,” she said, “and go satisfy your werewolf, while I brew a potion and convince Moody I’m not about to go do anything illegal.”

Sirius swept Andromeda into his arms and she held onto him. They swayed on the spot for a moment and Sirius kissed her cheek. 

“Ted would rat you out,” said Sirius.

“I know,” said Andromeda, with a small laugh. “And now you have Remus.” She pulled away and smiled. “I wonder what it’ll be like for you living with someone who has a conscience.”

“It’s going to be awful,” he said, grinning. His smile softened. “I’m sorry it had to happen like this.”

“I know,” she said.


	4. Chapter 4

Tonks didn’t know when sleep had finally taken her, only that when the banging on the door woke her, she hadn’t slept for long enough. Aberforth didn’t do gentle wake up calls, but even this was a bit much.

“Rise and shine,” said Moody.

Tonks groaned. Moody’s wake up calls were always a sign of something ominous. Death Eaters, curses, Cornelius Fudge. She heard banging on another door and heard Savage swear groggily. Tonks dragged herself out of bed, pulled the blankets around herself and wandered to the door. She opened the door a few inches and peered out into the dark hallway. Savage, likewise bundled up, gave a weary nod when they saw Tonks.

“I want you both up and dressed in five minutes," he said.

“Need shower,” said Tonks.

“Same,” said Savage, failing to suppress a yawn.

“Seven minutes, then,” said Moody. He was answered with two slamming doors. This was, by usual standards, a polite response to wake up calls from Moody. It also meant avoiding Moody launching into tales about weeks in the field without showers.

Tonks showered without managing to care about the fluctuating temperature of the water or the aches that rippled through her body. She stared at the tiles trying to organise in her head what had happened in the previous eight hours. She had known it was coming. She had no idea it would happen the way it did.

She had told Remus to go. And yet hearing the door close behind him felt like a hex as she lay shivering a few feet away. Sirius would understand more than Remus did, why she had to do it that way. How far would Sirius's family loyalty extend? Had they slept together already? She wouldn't blame Sirius for finally getting Remus into bed. Would her scent still linger on Remus or would the Firewhisky have burned away the taste of her? She sat on the towel on the bed and as the blankets moved, she could smell the lingering scent of Remus.

Savage and Tonks left their rooms at the same time and walked down into the bar of the Hog’s Head. Andromeda was waiting with Moody. They had declined Aberforth’s offer of a drink while they waited. Andromeda looked out of place at the bar, her robes simple but elegant, when everyone else present had practical robes on. Aberforth had forgone robes altogether in favour of a dirty apron over his shirt and trousers.

“Hello, Mrs Tonks,” said Savage, with a surprised smile. Savage, like Tonks, was known only by their last name because Savage, like Tonks, had parents who loved them deeply but had been overwhelmed by a desire to give their child a name only a parent could love. The experience had bonded Savage and Tonks from the first time they met. “How are you?”

“You darling,” said Andromeda. She put her hands on Savage's shoulders and leant in to kiss Savage on one cheek, then the other. “It’s been too long.” She stepped away and with a wistful smile looked Savage up and down. “Forgive me a moment of wondering where the years have gone.” Andromeda sighed, then turned to Tonks. She held her arms out.

“Mum,” said Tonks, sinking into her mother’s embrace. “How come you’re here? Is everything okay? Dad -”

“All fine,” said Andromeda, kissing Tonks on the forehead. “I have something for you.” She stepped back and took a vial out of a small pocket in her robes. Tonks groaned but took the vial. So Sirius hadn't spent all night in bed. And a part of her was grateful.

“Tonks?” murmured Savage, whose eyebrows had shot up in recognition. “What happened last night?” Tonks elbowed Savage in the ribs. Savage glanced at Andromeda. “You’re always -”

“Bloody youngsters,” said Moody, grabbing Savage by the elbow and dragging them out of the Hog’s Head. Moody hadn’t asked Andromeda what the potion was but he had an uncomfortably good idea. And now Tonks was alone again. Moody was a Hufflepuff and knew what it was to need someone. Knew what it was to be alone. He pulled Savage along and was unsurprised by the small punch of grief. War had taken his Gryffindor decades before. Constant vigilance hadn’t saved him. Moody pushed Savage out of the door.

“I’ll tell you later,” called Tonks, rubbing her face.

"You better," Savage called back. The door to the Hog’s Head closed behind Savage and Moody with a thud, cutting of their greetings from Dawlish and Proudfoot. Aberforth had disappeared from the bar. Tonks stood on the sawdust floor with her mother. Tonks looked at the vial. It was different to the one Snape had given her. She knew it was brewed with the same amount of care, albeit with a different kind of love.

“I wanted to be prepared,” said Andromeda, “one less thing for you to think about.” She reached out and tucked Tonks’s hair behind her ear. Tonks’s hair was still the mirror of her mother’s.

Tonks downed the contents of the vial and pulled a face. “No one’s ever thought to make this taste better?” said Tonks. She sighed. “Thanks.” She handed the empty vial back to her mother and continued to pull faces. “Why does that always taste worse than I remember?”

“Sirius told me,” said Andromeda. Tonks didn’t need to ask how much Sirius had told her mother.

“Is Remus okay?” said Tonks.

“He’s alive and uncursed,” said Andromeda. Tonks choked back a sob laced with laughter, and hugged her mother. Andromeda held Tonks and stroked her hair. Tonks took deep breaths, sniffed, and stepped away from her mother. “Indulge me and tell me where you got the Veritaserum from? I’ve had one too many fingers pointed at me.”

“I have to get to work,” said Tonks, with a small smile. “Moody is still standing, so I’m guessing the accusations weren’t that bad.” Tonks walked towards the door of the Hog’s Head.

“I hope the Death Eaters behave themselves today,” said Andromeda, as Tonks’s hand touched the handle. Tonks stilled. “Stay safe, Nymphadora.”

“I’ll be careful,” said Tonks, glancing back and kissing the air. Andromeda smiled.

“I trust you will,” said Andromeda, and Tonks slipped out into the street.

After a grilling from Moody about constant vigilance and keeping their love lives from interfering with their work, Savage and Tonks set off on their patrols of Hogsmeade, leaving Dawlish and Proudfoot to rest. When they sat on a bench in the middle of the high street eating the lunch that Savage insisted on buying, and keeping watch over the shoppers and residents, Tonks told Savage of everything that had happened the night before. Everything except the Veritaserum. Everything except Snape giving her the means to let Remus go.

They were walking around the village again when they passed the post office. Tonks promised Savage that she would be minutes. She dived inside the post office. She stared at the parchment. The quill in her hand hovered above the parchment and she didn’t know what to write. She put the quill down and put her hands on her hips. Closed her eyes. She could do this. She had done what was needed with Remus. She could write a note.

Savage poked their head through the doorway. “You not done yet?” said Savage.

“I - yeah - I’m almost done,” said Tonks.

The note said: Tomorrow night at the apparition point. T.

Tonks rolled up the parchment. She tied it to the owl’s leg and took a deep breath before telling the owl who to deliver the message to. Tonks left the post office and immediately wanted to run back inside and stop the owl.

Andromeda sat in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place drumming her fingers on the table. She looked up at the intricate ceiling, following lines in the plaster with each tick of the clock. Sirius walked in, yawning, and rubbing his face.

"Andromeda," he said, seeing her tucked half in darkness at the table.

"Trousers," she said. "I am impressed."

"I have my moments," he said, crossing the room and sitting down opposite Andromeda.

"How sad to deny the world your Hippogriff tattoo," she said. “I saw Nymphadora.”

"Remus is asleep," said Sirius.

“Perhaps that is for the best at this moment,” she said. “Nymphadora needs space to breathe.”

“And Remus?”

“I’m surprised you’ve come up for air so soon.” She pinned him with her gaze and he rubbed his forehead. “I was ready to write a note for you and take my leave.”

“Everything came crashing down around him while I was with you last night,” said Sirius. “I came home to a very emotional werewolf.” Andromeda raised an eyebrow and didn’t look at all sorry. “How is Tonks, really?”

“She wanted to know if Remus was okay,” said Andromeda. Sirius groaned and stared at the ceiling, shaking his head. “She seemed to believe me when I said he was alive and uncursed.” Sirius laughed and looked at Andromeda.

“Did she tell you where she got the Veritaserum?” said Sirius.

“No,” said Andromeda.

“And your hunch?”

Andromeda rose from the table and walked around to Sirius. She kissed him on each cheek and smiled. Sirius’s short bark of laughter earned him another kiss. He had grown up with that smile and hadn’t seen it on Andromeda for a long time.

Tonks lay in bed staring at the wood beams that crossed the ceiling. The fire was burning low and there were the sounds of patrons leaving the Hog’s Head in different states of inebriation. There was a tap at the window and she leapt up, wand drawn. It was an owl. She ran to the window and let the owl in. It hopped on the dresser as she undid the message. She took a couple of treats from a bowl on the dresser and gave them to the owl who hooted in appreciation and flew back out of the window. Tonks unrolled the parchment and saw one word, “Midnight.”

The following night, Dawlish and Proudfoot were in the middle of their patrol and had dived back into the Hog’s Head for a few minutes to eat and drink. Tonks still wasn’t in bed, sitting instead on a bench, feet up and leaning against the wall. She had a bowl of stew that had gone cold an hour ago. Savage was still picking through their bowl of stew while Dawlish and Proudfoot told a story about Mundungus trying to flog stolen goods again.

They all looked up when they heard the voices outside. Remus and Snape. Remus’s Wolfsbane Potion. He and Snape would meet in Hogsmeade the week before each full moon. Neutral ground. All four Aurors were painfully aware that they’d forgotten Remus would have to come back. Dawlish and Proudfoot leapt up and headed out of the Inn with glances back at Tonks.

Remus and Snape were as polite as they could manage and Snape pretended not to notice Remus’s furtive glances at the Hog’s Head Inn. Snape handed over the bag with Remus’s Wolfsbane Potion and several others that Dumbledore had requested Snape give Remus to take back to Order headquarters. Snape walked away, with nods to Dawlish and Proudfoot who didn’t take their gazes off Remus. Remus looked at the Hog’s Head Inn again then walked away, disappearing into the village, followed by a stray black dog that appeared in Hogsmeade from time to time.

Dawlish and Proudfoot stepped back into the Hog’s Head and told Tonks and Savage that they would carry on their patrol. The door closed behind Dawlish and Proudfoot, and Tonks and Savage looked at each other.

“I’d call that a success,” said Savage. “I didn’t hear any spells.”

“Proudfoot is brilliant at non-verbal spells,” said Tonks, staring at the door. “I can’t believe I forgot Remus would be back for his Wolfsbane."

“Don’t feel too special,” said Savage, “we all forgot, and whilst the rest of us weren’t sleeping with Remus, we were used to having him around.”

“I’m going for a walk,” said Tonks. “I couldn’t sleep if I tried.”

“Want me to come with you?” said Savage.

“No, no,” said Tonks. “And anyway, haven’t you got company coming tonight?”

“I hope so,” said Savage, grinning. Tonks laughed and slipped out of the Hog’s Head. “What?” said Savage, looking at Aberforth, who was polishing glasses. Aberforth rolled his eyes and moved on to the next glass.

Snape was waiting for Tonks at the apparition point, sitting on a low dry stone wall, his legs outstretched, ankles crossed.

“Yes?” he said, as Tonks approached him. He stood up as she held out her hand, a vial sitting in her palm. He lifted up the vial and turned it around, his thumb tracing the label, then put it back in her hand. “It’s yours.”

“But I don’t need it now,” she said. “I - I used it.”

“You broke the seal,” he said, “tradition dictates that it’s yours.”

“I’m not sure I want it,” she said, quietly. She looked around where they stood, head raised, and shifted where she stood. “Why can’t there be somewhere else? Hogsmeade hears everything.” Snape held out his hand. Tonks hesitated but reached out with her hand that wasn't holding Veritaserum. She nodded and let Snape apparate them away from the village.


	5. Chapter 5

Tonks and Snape stood on a shingle shore at the edge of a loch. The forest started at the top of the shore and further down the loch mountains touched the water’s edge. The moon sat comfortably in the sky watching over them. The shingle moved beneath their feet, the smooth stones tumbling at the slightest shift in their stance. The water moved lazily at the edge of the shore as if too tired to create a bigger crash against the shingle.

“Where is this?” said Tonks, letting go of Snape’s hand, and surprised by her reluctance to do so.

“Somewhere else,” said Snape. 

“It’s beautiful,” said Tonks, walking towards the water. “This is the kind of place I could spend hours swimming and - and escaping.”

“You want to swim?” said Snape, looking out across the loch.

“Not tonight,” said Tonks. She shot a glance at Snape. He had his arms crossed but his shoulders were relaxed. His robes rippled in the breeze like the water. He wasn’t watching her. “I’ve got my period.” He turned to look at her and she held his gaze.

“Do you need draughts or potions?” he said. “The apothecary in Hogsmeade is more interested in your Galleons than your comfort.”

Tonks snorted. “They’re not even subtle about it,” she said, then sighed. “I used to brew them myself until Auror shifts went from bad to worse and I couldn’t leave things.” She looked at Snape and swallowed, a rush through her which she realised was not the same rush she felt as a student, fearing how Snape would grade her brewing. “And I started making mistakes. It got so bad a few months ago that I managed to mess up an Invigoration Draught.”

“How?” said Snape, sounding pained as he looked at her in disbelief. This woman had scored so highly on her N.E.W.T.s.

“Parsley instead of lovage,” said Tonks, and Snape groaned. “And I let it boil.” He winced. “I had to ask mum how to clean the ceiling.”

“Slughorn has always spoken highly of your mother,” he said. “And no one could claim that the Black family aren’t thorough.”

“Dad does most of their brewing these days,” she said. She looked up at the night’s sky. “But mum," she took a deep breath, "when I was a newly qualified Auror, I came back from a raid covered in blood and she didn’t look twice, and had everything clean before I was out of the bath.” She glanced from constellation to constellation until she found her mother. “You know, she taught me how to brew a potion that was never on the curriculum.”

“Yes?” he said.

“In sixth year,” she said, taking a deep breath, “she taught me to brew the potion she said all Slytherin girls knew how to brew.”

“All Slytherins know how to brew it,” said Snape, shrugging. “Traditionally the seventh years teach the sixth years.” He looked her up and down. “It’s meant to be a house secret but Andromeda wouldn’t let something as trivial as her house stop her.” Tonks laughed and her mother’s constellation seemed to shine particularly bright. “Seventh years sometimes waylay me with questions, but the heads of house have never called a stop to the practice.” Snape followed her gaze. “We don’t frown upon initiative.”

“It’s years since I brewed it,” she said, looking back at Snape, and crossing her arms, her hands gripping her robes. “I can remember it perfectly, one of those potions you never forget.” Snape murmured his agreement. “Mum brewed it for me yesterday.” 

Snape was watching her, his eyes searching hers, and she was sure he knew. She turned and walked several steps away. He didn’t follow her.

“I gave Remus the Veritaserum and then we had sex,” she said, her back to him, the words tripping over themselves in her hurry to let them free. She turned and glanced at him before sitting on a piece of driftwood. “Three drops.” Her empty laugh was heavy in the night air.

“Did it give you what you wanted?” he said.

“The worst part is that I knew,” she said, putting her head in her hands. She took a deep breath and stood up. She sniffed and wiped her face with the sleeve of her robes. “Everyone thinks mum is going to kill him.”

“Does Remus?” he said.

“I told Remus to go to Sirius afterwards, ” said Tonks. Her head was swimming and she leaned forward. Under her robes, she pushed her hands into her abdomen trying to relieve some of the pain. “And Sirius told mum.”

“Let us hope your mother is too occupied by your sudden Slytherin tendencies than any inclination to assess Remus’s mortality,” said Snape, walking towards Tonks.

“I didn’t tell her where I got the Veritaserum from,” said Tonks. Snape simply laughed.

“Come,” he said, putting an arm around her, “let’s raid the hospital wing.” Tonks leaned into him and buried her face in his robes. The pressure of apparition was different this time, her body pressed against his, and when they landed, they didn’t immediately part. Tonks looked up at Snape.

“Thank you,” she said, quietly.

“Poppy will be delighted to see you,” he said. Snape stepped away and Tonks jogged a couple of strides to fall into step with him.

The Auror and Professor thought they went unnoticed as they walked through the castle to the hospital wing. Their conversation settled into the comfortable area of complaining about the Ministry of Magic, and they missed the Fat Friar and Bloody Baron floating beside each other, watching them walking together. Close but not quite close enough to touch, apart from the odd moment when their hands seemed to meet, only for them to brush against each other and pick up their pace. The Fat Friar and Bloody Baron glanced at each other. The Fat Friar chuckled, hands clasped across his belly. The Bloody Baron wrinkled his nose, chains clanking as he crossed his arms, but nonetheless unable to look away from the pair.

It was inevitable. When Poppy laid eyes on Tonks, Poppy leapt up and embraced her. Tonks hugged Poppy while Poppy shot glances at Snape who crossed his arms and leant against the door of Poppy’s office.

“What are you doing here, child?” said Poppy.

“I’ve been an Auror for years,” said Tonks, unable to stop herself smiling.

“And I’ve been a Professor for many more, yet she still calls me child,” said Snape. “Though she does share her Firewhisky with me these days.”

“Hush,” said Poppy, stepping back, hands still on Tonks and looking her up and down. “Are you well? Has something happened?” She shot another glance at Snape who rolled his eyes.

“No emergencies,” said Tonks. “I was, uh, wondering if I could plunder your potions store?”

“Do you know what you’re looking for?” said Poppy. Tonks nodded. “Be my guest.” She waved her wand at a wall of cabinets that covered the back of her office. There was the sound of multiple locks unlocking. Tonks dodged around Poppy’s desk and, after a glance back at Poppy and Snape, made her way through the cabinets. She read the labels and quickly dismissed several cabinets. She crouched down, and given the time she spent there and the clink of bottles, she found what she was looking for. Poppy resorted to poking Snape and nodding her head at Tonks. He batted away her hand and she pursed her lips and crossed her arms. “Found what you were looking for?” 

Tonks rose with a handful of vials and Poppy walked towards her. “Yeah,” said Tonks. “Thank you, Madam Pomfrey.” She twirled a couple of vials and checked the labels again. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to do this?”

“Of course, dear,” said Poppy.

“Still,” said Tonks, putting the vials in her pocket. “Thank you.”

“Severus can walk you out,” said Poppy.

“There’s no need,” said Tonks. A pink tinge touched her cheeks. “Wait, Savage has been needing a potion, they keep forgetting to go to the apothecary in Hogsmeade.”

“Must I remind you to avoid that one?” said Snape.

Poppy looked at the cupboard and frowned. “The one they used to have when you were both here?” Tonks nodded. Poppy shook her head. “I haven’t got any left.” Poppy nonetheless peered in cupboards, and cast summoning charms. Various vials flew to her hands but she read the labels and shook her head each time. “Do tell Savage that I’m sorry.”

“I could check my stores,” said Snape. “It’s a potion that keeps for years, it’s possible there’s still some left.”

“You can escort Tonks via your stores,” said Poppy, a vision of innocence even in the face of a Death Eater who was staring daggers at her. Tonks looked at her feet.

“You don’t have to,” said Tonks, glancing up at Snape. "Savage won't mind."

“Think nothing of it,” he said, “I might not be their head of house anymore but if I can help I will.”

“Excellent,” said Poppy. “Now on your way, it’s getting late.”

Poppy sent Tonks and Snape on their way with another hug for Tonks and whispered, “Behave yourself,” to Snape. 

They walked in silence to Snape’s potions store that was tucked away down a maze of small corridors in the dungeons. Tonks kept glancing back wondering how she was going to get back out. Snape’s wandwork to unlock the store entranced Tonks. He crouched down and picked up different vials from a shelf before he cast summoning charms like Poppy had. He dusted off a handful of vials. He put all but one of them back on a shelf and stood up.

“Success,” he said, holding out the vial. 

“Thank you,” said Tonks. “They’ll be so pleased, thank you.” Tonks and Snape stood in silence watching each other, deep breaths taken and lips parting but words evading them until Tonks said, “I don’t know how to get out of here.”

Snape smirked. He turned and cast a series of spells to lock the store again. “Come,” he said, and started walking away. Tonks coughed and followed him. By the time they reached a corridor she recognised, she still didn’t know where she had spent the intervening minutes. Snape stopped at the edge of the dungeons. “Poppy will have greatly enjoyed being able to fawn over you.”

“Whereas I feel mortified,” said Tonks, finally remembering to put the vial for Savage in her pocket.

“Poppy has seen worse,” said Snape, the hint of a smile on his lips infused with pain. “I assure you she has witnessed horrifying scenes.” His head tilted a little to the side as he watched Tonks push her hair back behind her ears. “You let her indulge in taking care of people in a way that is both easy and satisfying.” Tonks tried to smile and nodded. “Those occasions are only going to become rarer in the coming months.” Tonks frowned. “I trust you can find your way from here.” And with that, Snape turned and disappeared back into the maze of the dungeons. 

“Thank you,” said Tonks, as Snape's footsteps faded away. Tonks left the dungeons and Snape leant against a wall and listened to her walk away.

Tonks crept into the Hog’s Head and knocked on Savage’s door. Savage opened the door, not bothering to cover their mouth as they yawned.

“From Snape,” said Tonks, holding the vial out to Savage. Savage took a moment to register the label on the vial and then their expression lit up.

“Snape?” they said, looking at Tonks curiously.

“Madam Pomfrey didn’t have it,” said Tonks, in a rush. “I went up there to get potions and thought I’d ask about your potion and Pomfrey didn’t have it but Snape was there and said he might have it and he did have it so I’ve got it.” Savage was biting their finger and grinning.

“Snape took you to his private store?” said Savage, waggling their eyebrows.

“He, yes, he did,” said Tonks, the blush returning with full force. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“You know I won’t,” said Savage, their expression softening as they opened the door. They wrapped their arms around Tonks. “You okay?” Tonks wrapped her arms around Savage and they stood together, each soaking up the warmth of an old friend's embrace.

“I - I will be,” said Tonks.


	6. Chapter 6

Tonks slipped into her room and took the vials out of her robes, placing them in a row on the dresser. She threw her robes over a chair. Her gaze was pulled to the vials with each pull on her laces as she undid her boots. Tonks threw back two vials, drank a glass of water that had been sitting out since the morning, and blew out the candle on the dresser. She climbed into bed still in her clothes and curled up, pulling the blankets up around her.

Snape hesitated at the door to his quarters and walked back up to the hospital wing. Poppy looked as if she had been waiting for him. He gripped both sides of the door frame, unable to walk into the office.

“Don’t tell Dumbledore,” he said, looking up from the floor.

“You have my word,” said Poppy, and with that, he left. Poppy leant on the desk, chin resting on her hands, watching the empty doorway and listening to his fading footsteps.

When Tonks succumbed to sleep, the moments pressed against him snuck into her dreams, and when she opened her eyes in the morning because Aberforth was knocking on doors for wake up calls, her thoughts hadn’t strayed. 

The students were used to Snape’s foul moods but he didn’t usually draw his wand on them. When a seventh year ended up pinned to a wall with Snape’s wand inches from their face, Snape knew he was walking another knife edge. He dismissed the class and spared them homework, a delight that was quickly squashed by the threat of doubling what he would assign next. He glanced at the clock hanging on the back wall of the classroom. He had only hours to regain control.

Savage was throwing bits of their lunch at Tonks and the stray black dog was snarfing the scraps. Tonks absentmindedly scratched the dog’s head and the dog put his head on her knee. When Savage was finished eating and had given up getting Tonks to eat, they both stood up and the dog danced around Tonks’s legs.

“Go home,” said Tonks, and the dog jumped up, panting, muddy paws on her shoulders. “You have horrible manners.” The dog huffed and nudged her cheek with his nose before racing away into the woods.

“He’s worried,” said Savage, quietly. Tonks nodded.

Tonks and Savage had covered half the high street when there was a scuffle and the two Aurors ran towards the noise while shoppers ran away. The petty thief was quickly dealt with, Savage using a Portkey to take the Stupefied wizard to the Ministry, before returning to join Tonks for the rest of their patrol.

Halloween wasn’t far away, and it had begun: the glancing over shoulders, the speed of the draw, the harder grasp of hands in a struggle. Tonks and Savage had been children when the First Wizarding War ended, but they had trained as Aurors under those who had survived, and at the mercy of the stories of those who hadn’t. And now they were at war again. 

The autumn sun had set hours before, and despite the bite of the October night, Snape sat on the steps in front of Hogwarts. Giant torches flanked the oak doors and threw pools of light down the stone steps. Filch had been past once and missed Snape slumped in the shadows.

Snape had his elbows resting on his legs, head in his hands, fingers raked through his hair. He had walked from the apparition point beyond the Hogwarts boundaries up to the castle, trudging across the muddy ground, but the last steps into the castle were a mountain he couldn’t face. His mask was tucked inside his robes and held onto the cold of the night, leeching him of what warmth he had. In the dark the Death Eater robes weren’t so different from ordinary robes. All the easier to attack, when all that people saw was the glint of light on the mask that emerged from the hooded darkness.

He heard footsteps across the trampled grass and saw the edges of a heavy travelling cloak only when there was someone standing in front of him. He was tired. So tired.

“Severus,” said Dumbledore, his voice devoid of lightness, “you ought not to linger on doorsteps.”

As if there was a weight around his neck, Snape looked up slowly and saw Dumbledore’s long beard tumbling out of the cloak, the hint of robes beneath. Pushing himself to look the headmaster in the eye, Snape met Dumbledore’s concerned stare, and let his shoulders slump again and his gaze return to the stone steps.

“Those are McGonagall’s glasses,” said Snape.

“Bollocks,” said Dumbledore, with a huff of frustration.

The travelling cloak was gathered up and the distance closed. Snape glanced and saw Tonks sit down beside him, stuffing the glasses under the cloak, revealing the robes beneath again. Herself again, she wiped her face with her hands and ran her fingers through her hair. She shifted, resorting to standing up and taking the cloak off. She sat down again and slung the cloak around Snape and herself. Their bodies brushed up against each other.

“You can’t do this,” she said, “you can’t be so easy to compromise. Did you even see me coming?”

Snape watched a rabbit run past the steps of the castle and stop inside the pool of light from the torches. The edges of the pool flickered on the rabbit’s fur. An owl swooped down and the rabbit darted into the bushes. The owl swept upwards and found a perch nearby.

“Moody always tried to avoid killing,” said Snape. “And you are his protege.” Tonks stared at the ground. Snape reached inside his robes and pulled out his Death Eater mask. “I’m the only Death Eater here tonight.” Tonks reached out and froze when her hand was inches from the mask. Her eyes darted to meet Snape’s gaze. He shrugged, and with a tentative touch, Tonks took the mask from Snape. Her heart was racing and her hands were not entirely steady. “There are no enchantments on it.”

“This is one of the originals,” she said, tracing her fingers across the intricate metalwork. “The Auror department has an archive and there’s one just like this in there.” Her fingers stopped and she gripped the mask in her hands. She looked at him more thoroughly and noticed his robes. Death Eater robes. She was holding a Death Eater mask. His mask. Her gaze reached his face and she saw he was watching her. His smile was apologetic. His eyes weary. “You were with him tonight.”

“Yes,” he said.

“Oh Merlin,” she said, still holding onto his mask. “Why? Do the Order know? What happened?”

“Which version do you want?” he said, looking away from her and out across the darkness that surrounded the castle. “Dumbledore knows where I was.” Tonks’s sigh seemed to sink through the air around them.

“What did you do?” she said, quietly. She looked at the mask, trying to find some part of Snape in the design which she had only ever seen in battle or from a curated distance. She started to trace the contours of the mask again as if she might elicit secrets from it.

“My presence was required by the Dark Lord for, ah, discussion,” he said. “I didn’t partake in tonight’s activities.”

“When did you last participate?” she said, handing the mask back to him. She heard the shadow of a wince when she caught him in the ribs as she wrapped her arms around herself.

“Are you not on duty tonight?” he said, slipping the mask back inside his robes. Tonks shook her head. “Last week.”

“What did you do?” she said, each word slow and measured. 

“I kept my masters happy,” he said, at last.

Tonks stood up and the travelling cloak swept up with her, whipping around Snape. The cold sunk deeper. He knew he would have to move before the temperature dipped any further. He was meant to be teaching in a few hours. Tonks reached down and took his hand. He squinted up at her, the tiredness sinking further into him. She nodded towards the great doors and stepped back, still holding onto him. He rose and almost stumbled. Tonks frowned. He fell back against a wall pulling her with him. She cast Disillusionment Charms on herself and Snape. She could feel him and see the shimmer of his outline in the torchlight. 

"What kind of discussions were you having?" she said.

"No," he said, in barely a whisper.

Tonks led the way and they slipped inside the castle. Tonks kept the lead until they were at the door to Snape’s quarters. She lifted the Disillusionment Charms. He mumbled the password and the door swung open. He led the way in and Tonks felt the sweep of wards flow over her. The door closed and glowed for a brief moment.

“Bedroom,” said Tonks. He turned to face her, and at his expression, she stepped back to find the hard ridges of shelves against her back. Her hands were on his body as his hands gripped the shelves either side of her head. 

"I stand before you a Death Eater," he said, his lips inches from hers. Without taking her gaze from his, she undid the fixings of his robes. She slipped her hands beneath the robes and felt for the mask against his lean body. She pulled the mask from a pocket and threw it to the floor where it clanged against the flagstones. She reached up and nudged the robes over his shoulders until his arms outstretched, hands still gripping the shelves, stopped her. She narrowed her eyes and kept the pressure of her hands on his arms. He lowered his arms and she pushed the robes down his arms. She took his hand and brushed past him. He followed her as if under an enchantment.

Tonks led the way through his rooms until she found his bedroom. She let go of his hand and took off her cloak and robes. He leant against a wall trying to stay upright. She cast spells to untie the laces of their boots and promptly kicked hers off, and nudged his feet with hers until he did the same. Tonks took Snape’s hand and backed him up against the bed until he was forced to sit. She bit her lip and he pulled her towards him. They tumbled onto the bed. Tonks pulled the blankets up over them as he pulled her into his arms.

“Thank you,” he mumbled into her hair.

“Just don’t let yourself get compromised,” she said.

“Merlin forbid it,” he said, but the words were slurred as sleep took him. Tonks closed her eyes and relaxed into his hold.

They were woken by a patronus in the shape of a bear barrelling through Snape’s bedroom. “Where the hell are you?” said Moody, his voice booming out from the bear and echoing around the room. Tonks and Snape both scrambled up and drew their wands as quickly as they could.

“Bollocks,” said Tonks, still half asleep, rubbing her face. They lowered their wands. She sent her badger patronus back to Moody with assurances she was okay and would be at the Hog’s Head in a few minutes.

“Going to tell him where you were?” said Snape, sitting back down on the bed and glancing at the clock. Two hours until morning classes, an hour and a half until sunrise.

“Going to tell anyone you got an Auror in bed last night?” said Tonks, smirking. She groaned and stretched before walking across the room and picking up her boots and robes. She picked up Snape’s things and brought them over, too. 

“And deprive you of the chance to say you took a Death Eater to bed?” he said. He took the Death Eater robes and hung them up in the large wardrobe. He took out his ordinary robes, the ones that made Tonks’s pulse race for a brief moment when she saw the cloud of black fabric billow around him as he swung the robes over his shoulders and shrugged them on. She watched him leave the bedroom and return with the Death Eater mask. His mask. He didn’t look at her again until the mask was tucked away with his robes.

They tied on their boots in silence. Neither of them wanted to admit that the few hours in bed together had been the best sleep they’d had in years.

Tonks stood staring at the door leading out of Snape’s quarters. Snape stood a little way behind her watching the way her head tilted from side to side as she considered the wooden barrier. She stepped back and managed to trip over a broom that hadn’t been sticking out. She let out a yelp and Snape stepped forward and grabbed her as the broom clattered to the floor. 

She tensed with embarrassment then he squeezed her arms gently and she leaned back against him, her eyes closed. She could feel his warm breath against her neck. "Death Eater," she breathed, as if she couldn't believe the words. He raised his wand and she felt the tap on her head and the fall of the Disillusionment Charm down her body.

“Let’s not keep Moody waiting,” he said to the shimmering air in front of him. There was a huff and he felt Tonks move away from him. Snape strode forward and opened the door to his quarters. Tonks followed him out and she had to jog to keep his with his fast stride through the corridors. In the wake of his billowing robes, she wasn’t at risk of bumping into staff or students who were inclined to step aside when they saw Snape coming. She suspected his expression must have been one to behold because even Peeves took a detour. Neither of them saw the Bloody Baron giving Peeves orders to leave. Snape flung the great doors open and strode outside, the doors taking long enough to finish slamming against the walls before slamming shut to allow Tonks to slip outside behind Snape. “Don’t lift the charm yet," he said, not looking back.

Snape eased up his stride once they were out of earshot of the castle. The haze of night still to fully lift made it easier to see Tonks's shape under the Disillusionment Charm. Tonks kept looking at Snape, unable to stop herself taking advantage of the Disillusionment Charm. They walked towards the apparition point which was out of sight for much of the castle and its outbuildings. The silence between them was broken when Tonks yelped and Snape’s robes were yanked on. He stopped and there was the distinct sound of someone smacking into the ground.

“Finite,” said Snape, and Tonks was unveiled getting up onto her hands and knees. 

“Bloody rabbit holes,” said Tonks, as Snape reached down and swept her the rest of the way up. “Thanks.” He didn’t drop his hold on her and her hands came to a natural rest on his arms.

"I'll leave you here," he said. 

"Thank you," said Tonks. "For last night, and the, you know, escape this morning." She took a deep breath. "It's nice to be able to disappear sometimes."

"As you've yet to face Moody, I suspect you might yet envy my time with the Dark Lord," said Snape. Tonks laughed, her face lighting up with sunlight that was nudging the horizon. There was the slightest twitch of Snape's mouth.

Snape stepped back and turned away from Tonks. He started to walk away when Tonks said, "Goodbye." Snape stopped for the space of a breath and carried on walking.

She apparated the short distance to the outskirts of the village. She glanced back knowing there was no possibility of seeing him.

Moody was pacing outside the Hog’s Head Inn and Savage stood near the door, leaning against the wall. Savage smirked and didn’t bother stopping their roar of laughter at the sight of a muddy Tonks walking towards them. Moody turned and marched towards Tonks and grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Where were you?” he said, his magic eye spinning and his ordinary eye giving her a once over. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” said Tonks, brushing herself down and realising how much mud there was. She cast a few cleaning charms and removed most of the muck. “I was - I overslept.”

“Were they worth it?” said Savage, grinning as they sauntered up beside Moody. 

Moody turned to Savage then back to Tonks who compulsively checked her hair and realised how mussed up it was. 

“You were with a fella?” he barked. Savage bit down on their fist to try and stop their giggling fit. “You are meant to be protecting Hogsmeade and you relinquish your duties in favour of warming someone else’s bed?”

“I love you, too, Moody,” said Tonks, shooting a glance at Savage. She made a mental note to visit Fred and George Weasley. It was important to support burgeoning businesses.

“Aye,” he said. “Keep your conquests to your rooms here.” He gave Savage a pointed look and Tonks realised she might not have been the only one to need a little encouragement getting out of bed. “Then at least I still know where you are.” Tonks had her hands on her hips and was staring at the ground. “Savage, take the east side, and Tonks and I will take the west. I think we need to talk some more.”

“Yes sir,” said Savage, walking away after giving Moody a mock salute and blowing a kiss to Tonks. Tonks made a rude gesture in return, and both of the young Aurors laughed. Moody looked at Tonks and frowned.

"Constant vigilance, Tonks," he said. "Constant vigilance."


	7. Chapter 7

Snape left the Great Hall with a word whispered in Dumbledore’s ear and a nod in return. Snape had thirty minutes. After that, the Dark Lord had a tendency towards what could be considered irritability. Snape's Dark Mark burned with furious heat. He had long since stopped wondering if the brand might singe his robes. The heat never lessened.

He strode through the corridors aware of footsteps following him. Tonks picked up her pace when he did. He went round a sharp corner and swept past a tapestry pretending to be a wall and stopped, turning in time for Tonks to run into him.

“He’s summoned you,” she said, stepping back against the tapestry. He grabbed her robes before she could fall through the tapestry and pulled her back towards him. “Where are you going?”

“How do you know?” he said.

“I was watching you."

“And so you thought you’d follow me?”

“I know how to get around,” she said, suddenly aware of what she had walked into as he turned and walked away. “Charlie Weasley and I did it in the alcove a couple of corridors back.”

“One from every house?” he said.

“No Slytherins,” she said. He ducked through an unlit passage and into the corridor that led to his quarters. She darted past him and put herself between him and the door to his quarters. “Offering?”

She had remembered the password and he seethed as she pulled him in and walked backwards into his quarters. He let her walk herself back up against a wall. His hands were on the wall either side of her.

“I am running out of time to greet the Dark Lord,” he said. The distance between them was such that a deep breath meant their bodies touched. He leaned closer and Tonks closed her eyes as his lips brushed her cheek. “And I have so far survived every encounter.” She gripped his robes. “Why are you intent on stalling me?” She scrabbled to take his face in her hands, regaining the fraction of distance that allowed her to consider that her lips might meet his.

“Come back,” she breathed, then she pushed him away from her and ran out of the room.

Snape apparated to the lane outside Malfoy Manor and was met with the sight of Narcissa standing at the gates, another Death Eater kissing her hand before heading up the drive towards the Manor. Snape walked towards Narcissa and she closed the distance, her elegant robes skimming the ground. The fine jewels couldn’t hide the toll having the Dark Lord in her home was having. Some might have said she was simply aging, but each time they met, Snape saw the changes in her outpacing the time between their meetings.

“You are almost late,” said Narcissa, straightening out his robes, and smoothing the fabric with her hands. She was without a wand. She reached up and for the briefest moment stroked her thumb across Snape’s cheek before crossing her arms and looking at the ground. “He’s in a good mood tonight, however, so I suspect he shall indulge you a few minutes.”

“And how would you have me indulge you?” said Snape. He didn’t need to ask but he knew Narcissa needed the illusion of control. To at least be able to ask. She looked up at him again.

“Draco,” she said, his name leaving her lips with exquisite softness. “Tell me, tell me what you can.” She drank in Snape’s presence. Proof that the Unbreakable Vow was still intact. Her son’s godfather. Proof that Draco was under protection.

“He is making some good decisions,” said Snape. He couldn’t tell her more and she knew better than to ask. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to inhale and exhale, her nose wrinkling as she suppressed the urge to let her emotions take over.

“Thank you,” she said. She started to walk towards the Manor and Snape fell into step with her. A moment later she stopped, calling him to a halt with her hand on his arm. “Severus, I - Andromeda - is she -”

“Alive,” he said, meeting her gaze. “You wish me to get a message to her?”

“No,” said Narcissa, shaking her head and trying to smile but instead looking pained, “no, I wouldn’t, I couldn’t, I -”

“You wish her to know you speak of her?”

“She would think you were teasing her,” said Narcissa. “Come, the Dark Lord awaits, and I think tonight he means to provide entertainment.”

“Lead the way,” said Snape.

Narcissa and Snape walked into the Manor and through hallways to the ballroom. The Death Eaters stood in the room like soldiers standing at ease, awaiting orders from Voldemort.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” said Bellatrix. Narcissa shot her a glance but said nothing, instead holding her head high and crossing the roomful of Death Eaters to sit neatly on the footstool which sat by Voldemort and the grand seat he occupied. Bellatrix sat, slouched, on the arm of his seat.

“My Lord,” said Snape, briefly bowing his head before taking his place amongst his fellows.

“How kind of you to join us,” said Voldemort. “Trouble at Hogwarts?”

“Only that the next generation of Death Eaters don’t hold the same respect for punctuality as their fathers,” said Snape. There were chuckles from around the room. “I was waylaid.”

“That simply won’t do,” said Voldemort, amused. “But there is yet time to make changes.” Voldemort looked out across the room, surveying his men. “Now though, now there are more pressing matters.” He looked at Snape. “A night of entertainment is due, don’t you think?”

“If it is my Lord’s will,” said Snape.

“And as at Hogwarts, those desiring entertainment occasionally require a chaperone.” Voldemort looked at Lucius and Snape allowed himself to follow Voldemort’s gaze. “Lucius, while there are bigger raids going on, I think you have earned yourself an outing.” There were low murmurs of amusement floating through the room and Lucius maintained a tight smile. “Severus, you will be Lucius’s chaperone in Hogsmeade tonight.”

“Yes, my Lord,” said Snape.

“Nothing too strenuous,” said Voldemort. “But Dolohov and Yaxley will be going there while everyone else is on bigger raids.” He had his wand out and was stroking his fingers up and down the wood. “Dolohov is intent on taking Yaxley to teach one of the Aurors a lesson, and I simply can’t persuade them to join the rest for an old fashioned outing." The smile Voldemort gave was devoid of warmth. "And given Lucius’s niece is there, too, it seemed cruel not to allow for a family visit.” Multiple raids. Voldemort was reducing Auror numbers by forcing them to split in response to simultaneous attacks. It had been some time since Voldemort had executed an operation this big. “Let’s see how far you get before Severus has to step in.”

“You’re too kind,” said Lucius, each word forced out with saccharine gratitude. It was the first time Snape had seen Lucius in Death Eater robes since the summer. It would be the first time he had his wand back, too. Snape suspected it was a temporary loan.

“Make sure not to show too much kindness to that wretched half-blood,” said Bellatrix, pouring herself over Voldemort. “I would have another attempt on that stain on our family but there are other raids tonight that I have no plans to miss.” Voldemort’s smile may have been devoid of warmth but Bellatrix’s smile was devoid of sanity. Snape watched Lucius nod feebly.

“Away with you,” said Voldemort, waving his hand towards the Death Eaters. Narcissa rose to play host, to allow for gracious and proper farewells despite the way the men strode from the room. Snape and Lucius left the room together. Snape and Narcissa exchanged a glance as they left. Lucius would get to be closer to Draco than Narcissa had been in weeks and with the goal of attacking her niece. The Dark Lord engaged in a varied range of torture. The Death Eaters left the Manor and Narcissa was left in her home with Voldemort and the few advisors who no longer went on raids. She returned to Voldemort’s side and refused to flinch at the rapid fire of Death Eaters disapparating.

Dolohov, Yaxley, Lucius, and Snape landed on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. The quietest of men became Death Eaters without much difficulty once the mask was on. The deep folds of the fabric in their robes were a place to lose their humanity, and retrieve from later, a version of it before they strolled into the Ministry of Magic to conduct business. Even Lucius had regained the remnants of his aristocratic swagger once he donned the old uniform. Their Death Eater robes poured around them on the street like ink and the moonlight lit up their masks in jagged shards.

Tonks walked out of a lane and onto the high street lit by a handful of torches at doorways. She saw four figures approaching her from the other end of the street. Four Death Eaters. She threw up a shield in time for a curse to bounce off, and dived back into the lane. She sent her patronus to warn Savage, Dawlish, and Proudfoot. She peeked through a stack of barrels. The Death Eaters’ masks hung like an ominous constellation in the dark. Their robes melted into the night. She saw the masks move as they nodded and came to an agreement she couldn’t hear. These were original masks. These were hardened fighters. The group split. Two walked away and two continued their approach.

Tonks and Savage had taken over patrols from Dawlish and Proudfoot an hour earlier. Savage should have been somewhere in the north of the village. Splitting up patrols was an old tactic when Death Eaters went hunting. She didn’t know when backup would arrive but they were all trained to be out of bed and on the ground within minutes of an attack. She looked through the barrels again and flattened herself to the ground before the curse which destroyed several barrels could destroy her. She scrambled up, her shield strong, and started to fight.

One of the Death Eaters stood back, a sliver of moonlight bouncing off the wand that hung by his side, while the other attacked. It had been a while since she had been considered sport. Tonks and the Death Eater exchanged hexes and curses, and Tonks wondered when support would show up. The Hog’s Head Inn was closer to Savage but only a short run from where she was. That was when she noticed long strands of blond hair had escaped the Death Eater’s hood and heard crashing noises from further away. The Death Eaters had found Savage.

“Hello uncle,” she yelled. She hoped it might knock him off his guard. Instead it earned her a string of expletives punctuated by curses. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried to kill her before. Though intelligence had told them that Lucius was nonetheless meant to be under house arrest at Voldemort’s command. The Aurors were still bitter about the hysterics Fudge had engaged in which cost them the precious chances to capture the Death Eaters they had battled at the Ministry of Magic only a few months before. Why had Voldemort let him out? Was it to terrorise her? A reward for good behaviour? She risked a glance at the Death Eater standing back and dropped to the ground again to dodge a curse and fire off her own before throwing up another shield. Lucius was in a foul mood, that much was clear. And he was tiring. The second Death Eater started a slow approach though Lucius paid no heed to the footsteps. His wand stayed at his side. He raised a finger to his mask. To where his mouth might be behind the metal. And Tonks knew.

Snape lowered his hand and raised his wand as Proudfoot ran into the street and seeing Tonks duelling Lucius, started to duel Snape. Tonks’s hex hit Lucius through a weak point in his shield as a scream ripped apart the air. Lucius dropped to the ground. Snape couldn’t afford to hesitate and Proudfoot didn’t give him the chance. And they all knew that someone was being subjected to the Cruciatus Curse. Tonks shot an Incarcerous at Lucius and he lay unconscious and bound.

“I’ll be back,” shouted Tonks, and she stilled for the briefest moment as she metamorphosed into Bellatrix. Proudfoot fought through the shudder at seeing Bellatrix. It was a trick Tonks had used before and she hoped it would buy her time. Snape swore, unheard, as he realised her plan. He continued to duel Proudfoot. Tonks and Savage were in the Order but Proudfoot and Dawlish weren’t. As far as they were concerned, he was a reformed Death Eater. Tonks ran, shooting him a glance as she left Proudfoot to fight him. Tonks’s guise was Bellatrix but the venom was her own and she wore it with uncomfortable ease as she chased the screams she knew for certain were Savage’s.

Snape and Proudfoot continued to fight as he closed in on Lucius. Proudfoot hurled spells with a fury that Snape suspected was fuelled by knowing her friend was being tortured. And Proudfoot’s skill was outstanding to begin with. Snape still had the edge over the young Auror and as he cast a shield, he grabbed Lucius by the elbow, and apparated them both back to Malfoy Manor.

Tonks’s plan gave her the seconds she needed to come to Dawlish’s aid. His initial shock at seeing Bellatrix disappeared immediately upon seeing her hex the Death Eater who was torturing Savage. Dawlish had been present the last time Tonks had pulled this trick. The Death Eaters realised this wasn’t their Bellatrix a second later. Savage stopped screaming as the Death Eater torturing them was forced to duel Tonks. The crack of disapparation further away was all the excuse the Death Eaters needed to disapparate.

Bellatrix’s features faded from Tonks’s face as much as her body would allow her to let go of her family. Tonks and Dawlish ran the few steps to Savage and they could hear Proudfoot in the distance. Tonks was on her knees beside Savage while Dawlish covered them in case there were anymore Death Eaters around. Proudfoot’s moan at seeing Savage on the ground sliced through the night.

Snape and Lucius landed outside the Manor and Snape let Lucius drop to the ground still unconscious. Dolohov and Yaxley apparated a few feet away a few seconds later. The three men standing took off their masks and looked at the bound and masked Lucius. Yaxley slapped Dolohov on the back.

“Looks like the night’s still young,” said Yaxley. “Andromeda’s brat did this?”

“I thought the Dark Lord would appreciate seeing her handywork,” said Snape. “Good hunting?”

“Not much of a fight,” said Dolohov. But then, Yaxley hadn’t been sent out as a chaperone for Dolohov. Yaxley was sent as an associate to enjoy the hunt. “Savage might think twice before they try and take on the grownups again, though.” He nudged Lucius with his foot. “A little Crucio does wonders, don’t you think?”

“Tonks pulled her face changing trick again and didn’t appear worse for her encounter with Lucius,” mused Yaxley. “Bellatrix won’t be happy.”

“Let’s not keep her waiting,” said Snape. He levitated Lucius and his blond hair fell down towards the ground. Dolohov and Yaxley followed Snape and the levitating Lucius into the Manor.

Voldemort allowed Snape to leave Malfoy Manor an hour after returning and Snape had gone straight to Dumbledore to report the night’s events. Released by his masters for the night, he had walked to the hospital wing. He hesitated at the door, watching Tonks lie in the hospital bed with Savage in her arms. Poppy walked up the ward looking Snape up and down.

“Injuries?” said Poppy. Snape shook his head. “They’ll be okay.” Poppy glanced back at the two Aurors snuggled up to each other like they were children again. “Savage has been asking if you’re okay.”

“They want information,” said Snape.

“That as it may be,” said Poppy, “they asked.”

“And Tonks?” he said.

“Is concerned for her friend,” said Poppy. Snape took a deep breath and walked into the ward.

“Hello,” said Snape, sitting on the edge of the seat at Savage’s beside.

“Hi,” mumbled Savage, while Tonks propped herself up beside Savage. “Tonks won’t tell me what happened.”

“Several big raids to split Auror numbers while my associates hunted, and no deaths,” said Snape. “The attacks on you and Tonks were part of the plan.”

“Who?”

“Dolohov and Yaxley attacked you,” he said. “I was Lucius’s chaperone for the night.”

“Dolohov hates me,” said Savage.

“He isn’t your biggest fan, no,” said Snape.

“He knows how to cast a Crucio,” they said, watching Snape intently. Snape nodded. “Ever had it done to you?"

“Once or twice,” said Snape. The corner of Savage’s mouth twitched and they didn't miss the flash of pain across Poppy's face. “Rest and doing as Poppy tells you are the quickest ways to recover.” Snape reached for the vials beside the bed and started inspecting the labels. “Do you want me to tell your parents?”

“No,” said Savage, wincing at another wave of pain through their body. “I’ll be up and about in a few hours.”

“You’ll listen to Poppy,” said Snape. "The Dark Lord has nothing on her when there's a patient to treat." Poppy swiped Snape's head with her hand and Savage laughed, though it sounded more like a cough. Tonks managed a smirk.

“Tonks,” said Savage.

“Yes?” said Tonks, sitting up straighter.

"You distract Snape and I'll take on Madam Pomfrey," they said, but their words were slurred.

"Tonks will do your bidding as soon as you take this," said Poppy, as she held a vial to Savage's mouth. Savage let Poppy pour the draught in their mouth and sunk back into the bed exhausted just from holding their head up

"She better," they said, and the words were all but lost as their eyes closed and the draught took hold. Poppy stroked Savage's cheek as the Auror was lost to dreamless sleep. They looked younger even as their body still twitched.

Poppy looked at Tonks. "I believe you were given orders," said Poppy. Tonks rose from the bed but kept a hand on the bed frame. She chewed her lip and there was a deep frown carved in her face as she watched Savage’s chest rise and fall in a slow steady rhythm. Tonks wiped at her eyes with sleeve covered hands and crossed her arms. Snape stood up and Poppy squeezed his shoulder. Tonks looked up and for a brief moment was surprised to see Poppy and Snape standing across from her.

“I need to get back on patrol,” said Tonks, as if she was trying to remember how to talk. Her voice was thick and the words stumbled out. “Dawlish is going to patrol with me while Proudfoot rests, then Proudfoot will take over for Dawlish.”

“You need to rest, child,” said Poppy. Tonks shook her head and with a glance back at Savage, started to walk away.

“Not enough Aurors,” said Tonks. “Hogsmeade needs protecting.” Poppy skirted around Snape and put her arms around Tonks. Tonks did her best to return the hug and rested her head on Poppy’s shoulder. “I’ll be okay.” Tonks looked up at Snape. “No more attacks tonight, right?”

“Likely not,” said Snape.

“No guarantees, huh?” said Tonks, stepping away from Poppy. Her upset had slid into anger. Snape wasn’t surprised. An angry Tonks was a violent reminder of her family. Of the woman he had watched torture Tonks’s uncle hours earlier. Of the woman he had seen not lose her composure at what she was forced to witness. Of the woman he was about to play messenger for. Tonks walked towards Snape. She was seething. “What did you achieve as a spy tonight?” She was inches from Snape. Her fingers flexed around her wand.

Poppy stood at the end of Savage’s bed and closed her eyes. Perhaps they needed to do this. She looked up at the ceiling with its simple vaulting and the myriad shadows from the candlelight and fire. She hoped they survived it.

“The unenviable task of telling your mother that Narcissa had to ask if she was still alive,” said Snape. “That she won’t dare make a direct request of me because she thinks Andromeda will believe her to be joking.” Neither of them moved an inch from each other. “I kept my cover and return with a warning that your little trick has left Bellatrix with an even more vicious desire to hunt you. And don’t think for a second that she simply wants to kill you. What you’ve witnessed isn’t even a warm up for the torture that woman can inflict and wants to inflict.” Tonks swallowed but refused to look away. “On you.” Tonks started to say something but Snape cut her off. “You think Savage is suffering? Dolohov is powerful and wouldn’t have gone easy on them. How long were they subject to Crucio? I watched Bellatrix torture Lucius because he failed to inflict harm on you for an hour before I was permitted to leave.” Tonks flinched. “Narcissa didn’t flinch once.”

Snape stepped away and walked past Tonks then stopped and turned part of the way to look back to her. “You think I should have stopped Lucius?” said Snape. “Then your side would have lost me. Poppy has brought me back from the brink I ended up on because I didn’t mind my manners.” Snape’s laugh was mirthless. “Do you think the Dark Lord is going to let me walk away if I am anything but a loyal Death Eater? Want a spy, you get a Death Eater.” He started walking away again, and without looking back, said, “Don’t like the Death Eater? Join the rest who are waiting to end me. I hear there’s a queue.”

The hospital wing doors slammed shut behind Snape. Tonks spun and ran to a sink to throw up. Her vision blurred with tears as she retched, her throat raw by the time she raised her head. Poppy put a glass of water and a vial on the shelf above the sink and stroked Tonks’s back. Tonks's head spun and she gasped for breath. Poppy knew there was nothing she could say. Tonks washed out her mouth, downed the potion, wiped her face, and ran out of the hospital wing. With a simple movement of her wand Poppy cleared up. She walked over to Savage’s bedside. She sat where Snape had been and watched the young Auror sleep dreamless sleep.

Tonks raced through the quiet castle and out of the great oak doors. She ran through the grounds, her Lumos a useless swinging orb as she covered the uneven terrain. “Nox,” she said. Blinded by the sudden change in light, her pace slowed. She could see him, a shadow in the dark striding ahead of her. He crossed the boundary a few feet ahead of her.

“Come back,” she begged.

“I did,” he said, then in a turn and with a crack, he was gone. Tonks’s hands flew to her mouth and she fell to her knees. She allowed herself five minutes to cry, scream, and hit the ground before she got up, wiped her face and apparated into Hogsmeade to join Dawlish on patrol and let Proudfoot rest.

Snape looked at the night’s sky above the Tonks’s home and gave himself a few minutes to pick out as many constellations as he could before he approached the house.

“Severus,” said Andromeda, by way of greeting when she opened the door. Seeing Snape wasn’t unwelcome but he had a habit of being the messenger.

“I can’t stay long,” said Snape, not moving from the doorstep. “I was at Malfoy Manor tonight.”

“Yes?” said Andromeda, stepping closer, hands clasped anxiously.

“Narcissa asked of you,” he said. “She begged that I not tell you, but I told her you were alive.” Andromeda nodded and took a deep breath. “She thought you would consider me teasing you if I were to say I came with a message from her.”

“And what is she, beyond alive?” said Andromeda.

“You would recognise her,” said Snape. “But the toll continues to be great. Draco is, I think, all that is keeping her going.”

“Oh, Narcissa,” said Andromeda, looking out past Snape at the night’s sky. One of her hands came to rest below her neck. She cleared her throat and looked at Snape. “I know that Nymphadora and Savage were attacked.”

“Lucius, Dolohov, Yaxley, and I were in Hogsmeade,” said Snape. “Lucius needed a chaperone and Dolohov continues his vendetta against Savage.” Andromeda shook her head slowly.

“Nymphadora knows you were there?” she said. Snape nodded. Andromeda’s smile was pained. She had never doubted Tonks’s abilities, knowledge, skill. But understanding the ruthless nature of what she fought? “She didn’t grow up with these people.”

“She has you,” said Snape.

“And?”

“She doesn’t realise you are the most terrifying of your family,” said Snape. “What it meant to defy your family.”

“Thank you for being messenger,” said Andromeda. “I think it’s kinder not to burden Narcissa with my words.”

“I am but a servant,” said Snape.

“I wonder how many servants carry Veritaserum with them wherever they go,” said Andromeda. Snape laughed, and Andromeda smirked.

“Until I see the Dark Lord next,” said Snape.

“You know you’re welcome anytime,” said Andromeda, reaching out to touch Snape’s arm, her fingers resting softly above his Dark Mark.

“I need to return to Hogwarts,” said Snape. Andromeda nodded, and with brief farewells, Snape walked outside the boundaries of the Tonks’s home. Andromeda watched him walk away and she waved in goodbye before he turned and disapparated. Andromeda closed the door and leaned against it. They had already endured one war, and this one was far from over.

Snape returned to his quarters unaccosted. He changed out of his robes into simple light trousers for sleep. He sat on the bed and thanked Merlin that despite the intolerable hour of night, the dawn would rise on the weekend. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

He swore when he heard the wards being passed through. He leapt out of bed and grabbed his wand. With careful steps he moved through his quarters towards the entrance and found Tonks standing in the middle of the room. Her eyes were red around the edges and her skin blotchy.

“Madam Pomfrey says Savage will be out for a few more hours,” said Tonks, struggling to keep her voice even. “Dawlish and Proudfoot each got their rest and now they’re on ordinary patrol.” She looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop herself crying, and sniffed. “And I’m meant to be off duty now.” Her deep breaths were shaky but she stood her ground. “And it turns out the DADA professor doesn’t change the password to his quarters even when he knows it’s been compromised.” She looked at his Dark Mark. “So I’m here.”

“You came back,” said Snape, closing the distance to where she stood shaking.

“Yes,” said Tonks, and she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. As soon as his hands touched her body she put her arms around his neck with the fierce desire of someone who didn’t want to let go. He carried her, muddy robes and all, to the bed.


	8. Chapter 8

Tonks allowed Snape to take her hands from him so he could help her take off her robes and boots. Then she clung to him and he allowed himself to be pulled back into bed. Her sleep was broken every so often by her screams of fright and panicked scrabblings at the bed and Snape, until she opened her eyes, heard his reassurances, and felt his hands stroking her arms and back. She would look around the room with bleary eyes then close her eyes and curl up to him again. He dozed with her for the first couple of hours, then cast summoning charms until he found a book that he could balance on the pillow behind Tonks and read without disturbing her.

When Tonks stirred from sleep without screaming or grasping to find what her current reality was, she stretched herself along Snape’s body and made a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a yawn before sinking back against the pillows and blankets she had burrowed into beside him.

“Good morning,” said Tonks, her eyes closed, her hands gently exploring the body next to hers.

“It’s almost lunchtime,” said Snape, closing his book and reaching behind himself to put it on the bedside table.

“What?” Tonks tried to sit up, grappling with the bedcovers as if still confused as to which direction was up, until Snape took her hand and she held onto him as he helped her sit up. “Hello.” She looked at him and smiled.

“Hello,” he said.

She looked him up and down. So that was why he wore robes that covered him so thoroughly. Tonks recognised some of the hallmark curse scars. She was perturbed by the many she didn’t know beyond recognising the origins were deep in the Dark Arts. Had it been her side that caused them or his? His side was meant to be hers. But it hadn’t always been that way. She was trying to reconcile her thoughts of Snape whose black robes billowed through corridors, Snape who wore a Death Eater mask and robes, and Snape who was lying beside her in nothing but simple trousers for sleep. Her eyes lingered on the Dark Mark that covered his left forearm. He had been following her assessment of him. She reached out to touch the dark stain on his skin. He turned his wrist to bare the mark fully. He watched her get lost in curiosity, fingers tracing the same lines over and over until her fingers trailed down to his hand and her gaze met his.

“The Cruciatus,” she said, taking his hand, “how often?”

“No,” he said.

“After everything that happened last night?” she said. “You’re not going to tell me?”

“I don’t remember,” he said, quietly, rubbing his face with his free hand. “There are some things I’ve kept a tally of, but that isn’t one of them.” Tonks kept a hold of Snape’s hand but looked away. She pulled up her knees. He watched her back curve as she sat curled up, the lines through her clothes still uncomfortably defined. Her top was riding up and it was a moment before Snape realised the colours spread across her skin were bruises. “Tonks, how hurt are you?”

“I’ve had worse.” When she shrugged, her top lifted further and the spread of bruises kept going.

“That doesn’t stop this being bad,” he said. She turned her head to look at him, resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Avoiding curses from Death Eaters does that,” she said. She watched him with eyes that weren’t fully open. For all the time she had spent in bed, not enough of it had been in peaceful sleep. “I need to go see Savage soon.”

“Poppy gave them Dreamless Sleep,” he said, glancing at the clock, “they won’t be waking for another hour, at least.”

“Then I’ll go back to the Hog’s Head and shower,” she said, looking herself over for the first time. “And get clean clothes.” She started to move but couldn’t bring herself to let go of his hand. “And then I can see Savage.” She took a deep breath and he reached out and touched her waist. It was all she needed. She turned and lay back down beside him. Against him. “This is the second time you’ve got me in bed.” Her voice was thick with emotion.

“Savage will be okay,” said Snape. Tonks didn’t know how she could keep crying, only that somehow her body still had the energy to judder with heaving sobs and her cheeks were wet. When Snape stroked her back, she winced and hiccoughed. “Savage didn’t evade Poppy, though.”

“She got one potion in me,” said Tonks. “After - after you left, I threw up, and whatever it was she gave me I took.” Snape groaned and Tonks held herself closer to him. “The rest of the night is a blur.”

“It likely wasn’t a healing potion,” he said, “but something to keep you upright for a while.” He sat up and helped her to sit up. “And those potions come with a crash later on.” He stood but she didn’t move from the bed. “Come on,” he said. “Up.”

“Raiding the hospital wing again?”

“You’re in a potion master’s quarters,” he said. “Poppy usually raids my cupboards."

Tonks got to her feet and caught sight of herself in a full length mirror that was propped up against the wall beside the wardrobe.

“Oh, Merlin,” she said, running her fingers through her hair and putting her hands on her hips. She glanced back at the large mud covered bed. Her muddier robes and boots were in a pile a few feet away. She groaned. “I’m so sorry, I -”

“It’s mud,” he said, looking at her with gentle amusement. “It will clean up.”

“I’m useless at cleaning spells,” she admitted, looking at the floor. “And I’m covered, too.” She tried brushing the dried mud off her trousers and a few bigger clumps fell to the floor but the rest clung to her. “I need to shower.”

“There is a sizeable bath here,” he said, “that I suspect would be more comfortable than a shower at the Hog’s Head, and the Hogwarts house-elves would have your clothes clean quicker than you could get to Hogsmeade.”

“I don’t generally strip for people I haven’t even kissed,” said Tonks. Snape snorted, reached for her hand, and led her towards the bathroom. She followed, her smile growing as he led her further into his quarters. “Well, someone has a bath obsession,” she said, when she laid eyes on the chiselled stone that rose from the floor and swept around in thick curved walls which could accommodate a small party.

“Fourteenth century professor,” said Snape, stopping in the doorway. “Who also had an obsession with merpeople.”

“No kidding,” said Tonks, walking further into the bathroom, and taking Snape with her. She stroked the stone with merpeople carved into it and ran her fingers over the taps which had merpeople cast into the metal. She sat on the edge of the bath pulling him closer to her. She started fiddling with the taps, holding her free hand beneath the different streams of running water. “You’ll get in with me?”

“I have potions to get for you,” he said, watching her fill the bath and adjust the taps.

“Summon them,” she said, starting to take off her clothes. She had pulled her top off and over her head when her balance went. Snape grabbed her before she could fall backwards into the bath. She frowned and screwed up her eyes. “Do you have Invigoration Draught?”

“You need rest,” he said, seeing at last the extent of the bruising. Great swathes of bruises swept around her body. He’d seen her hit the ground several times the night before, but hadn’t realised quite how hard. “But, yes, I can get you something.” She leaned forward, resting her head on his shoulder as she reached behind herself to undo her bra. She swore, flinched, and lowered her hands. Everything hurt. He reached behind her and undid the clasp.

“Thank you,” she said, pressing her head against his shoulder, letting the bra straps slip down her arms. She winced with each big movement. “There are muscles I'd forgotten I had." She kept her head against his shoulder and undid her trousers. She pushed her trousers and underwear over her hips and grabbed his hand to keep her balance as she used her feet to drag everything further down her legs before stepping out of her clothes. "This shouldn't be so tiring."

"Death Eaters have that effect," he said. She swore at him and looked up to meet his gaze before sinking into his hold. "You did well." He stroked her back. "We've all been fighting longer than you and we aren't so bothered by following the rules."

"You're not one of them," she said.

"Your bath is ready," he said, and stepped back. She tightened her grip on his hand and he sighed. He kicked her clothes out of the way and stepped closer. He turned off the taps. She gingerly climbed into the bathtub, hissing when her feet touched the hot water. She looked as though she had been painted given the colours that graced her from bruises and grazes and mud. She grabbed the side of the bath with her free hand and lowered herself into the water with the aid of more swearing. Submerged up to her neck, she looked up at Snape leaning over her, his arm in the water where she had pulled him with her. He freed himself of her grasp. He picked up her clothes and walked back through to the bedroom. He summoned a house-elf who looked at Snape with exasperation when asked if the clothes could be cleaned and returned immediately. The house-elf disapparated with a pop, taking the clothes and, Snape realised, the bedding, too. He returned to the bathroom. Potions, he could manage potions.

Tonks had her eyes closed and her head leaning back against the smooth curved edge of the bathtub. Snape crossed the bathroom to a large cabinet and Tonks opened her eyes. She watched him open the doors and search through shelves, taking out different vials, returning some and keeping hold of others. He filled a small tray with vials, closed the cabinet, and turned to see Tonks biting her finger and watching him.

“What happened to raiding your stores?” she said.

“You’re not the only one who evades Poppy,” he said, walking to the bathtub and sitting on the edge, balancing the tray on the same stretch of stone. He picked up a vial, broke the seal, and poured the potion into the bath. “And sometimes it’s simpler to collapse where everything is one place.” Tonks felt the ripple of magic through the water.

“Why did you join?” said Tonks. Snape looked at her with something akin to surprise.

“Does it matter?” said Snape. “It is long since too late to stop serving either of my masters, my reasons are inconsequential now.” Tonks splashed her toes against the surface of the water. “I’m a servant.”

“You’re still a part of it,” she said.

“Because the alternative is a death sentence,” he said, unsealing another vial and pouring the contents into the bathtub. Tonks sunk lower in the water. “There’s too much at stake.” Another vial, another seal broken, the potion spreading through the water. “And anyway, once Dumbledore is gone, my last protection is gone.” Tonks scrambled to sit up and grabbed the side of the bath, sending water sloshing over the sides. “Whether or not the Dark Lord wins, I will never shake being a traitor to either side.”

“What do you know about Dumbledore?” said Tonks. Her skin ran with goosebumps where the cooler air hit her wet skin. She forced herself to sink back into the hot water but her frown sliced through her.

“That he is getting old,” said Snape.

“Is he dying?” she said. “Has something happened?”

“He cannot live forever,” said Snape. He picked up a vial that was bigger than the others and he read and reread the label. It was second nature to put himself back together. To wash away blood and pain. He broke the seal and poured the potion into the water, watching the slow spread of it through the water like an oil slick. Tonks reached out and touched the potion, rubbing it between her fingers. As the potion diffused through the water, sinking in spirals around her, she felt the magic close in on her body.

“And still you’re loyal to him,” she said.

“He doesn’t need a curse to bring you to your knees,” he said, swirling his hand through the water to encourage the potions to mix. He glanced at Tonks, watching the potions surround her, seeing the changes in her skin. “I haven’t been branded for the Order but I have sworn Vows to Dumbledore.”

“Not going to ask why I joined the Order?” she said. “Why I became an Auror?”

“I don’t need to,” he said. She frowned, took a deep breath, and ducked beneath the water. Her hands moved through her hair and sent it spreading around her like a halo. She came up for air and swept her hair back. Her movements were already easier. The pain wasn’t gone, but it was as if she was a week on from the attack, not hours. Snape held out the last vial. “This one you can drink.”

“Invigoration Draught?” she said, taking the vial from him.

“Against my better judgement,” he said. He stood up and wandlessly summoned a towel the size of a bedsheet as she drank the Draught. “Yes.” Her wicked grin was the moment he knew the Draught had hit. He rolled his eyes as she scrambled up and out of the bath. He swept the towel around her, catching her arms inside and wrapping her up. She leant against him and looked up at him, the spark of magic in her eyes.

“I am feeling much better,” said Tonks. She held the towel close but soaked up being against him.

“So I see,” said Snape, unable to stop himself smiling. “Clothes?”

“Clothes?” said Tonks. She wriggled until she had a hand free from the towels and placed it on his chest. She searched his face, the Invigoration Draught chasing thoughts around her head until she found what hadn’t been far from the forefront of her mind. “Savage.” Snape nodded.

“They’ll be waking up soon,” he said.

“Clothes,” said Tonks, glancing back at the bathroom door. She bit her lip and looked at Snape.

“You can go to the hospital wing in just the towel if you wish,” he said, taking her hand from him and leading her back through his quarters to the bedroom. Her damp footprints trailed behind them on the stone. “Though it might cause something of a stir.”

“That’s what I was hoping to do here,” she said, with a sly smile. He laughed. He let her hand go and seeing the fresh sheets on the bed looked around the room for Tonks’s clothes. She stepped in front of him and backed him up against the bed until he was forced to sit. She rearranged the towel so it hung around her like a cloak. His hands on her hips, she moved closer still, her legs either side of him. He watched her intently, drinking in the determination in her gaze. Her hands on his shoulders, she brought one knee up onto the bed and then the other so that she was straddling him. He sunk back into the bed and she followed him. His hands moved across her bare body. She closed the distance between them. And then there was the pop of a house-elf apparating into the room. Tonks squeaked and yanked the towel over them both. Snape laughed. “Thank you!” she said, when the house-elf announced that they had her clothes, clean and pressed. Snape kept shaking with badly suppressed laughter under her. There was another pop, and the house-elf was gone. Tonks groaned and sank back so that she could lie on Snape. He wrapped his arms around her and she soaked up the heat of his body and his steadying breaths. “Clothes.”

Tonks lifted the towel from over them and slowly disentangled herself and stood up. Snape sat up. He reached out and stroked her stomach. She smiled softly. They dressed in silence, glancing at each other in between pulling on pieces of clothing.

They were standing at the entrance to Snape’s quarters when Tonks turned to him. At his questioning look, she took his face in her hands, and kissed him. He held her, and for a few minutes, they were able to lose themselves in each other. Savage wouldn’t be able to criticise Tonks for not following orders. Tonks knew Savage would have told her to stay in bed with Snape, and she knew Snape would have been willing. Snape pulled away from Tonks and kissed her neck.

“You need to see Savage,” he said. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.” Tonks stole another kiss from Snape.

“Thank you,” she said, kissing him again before he could move away towards the door. “Thank you.”


	9. Chapter 9

The Fat Friar pushed the Bloody Baron through a wall and into Professor McGonagall’s path.

“Baron,” said McGonagall, her hand flying to her chest. “You gave me a fright.”

“There are Aurors in the castle,” said the Baron, fixing her with a disgruntled stare. She knew he was holding back from commenting on their blood status.

The Fat Friar zipped through several rooms and back to where Tonks and Snape were leaving the dungeons.

“Tonks, dearest,” said the Fat Friar. “Professor McGonagall comes this way, I think she means to chastise Severus.” Tonks laughed. Snape grabbed Tonks’s hand.

“Thank you, Friar,” said Snape.

“The Bloody Baron is distracting her,” said the Fat Friar.

“What?” said Tonks.

“Gift Hippogriffs, Tonks,” said Snape, pulling her along so that she had to jog to keep up. He kept glancing around looking for something. The voices of McGonagall and a bored Bloody Baron were getting louder. The Fat Friar followed Tonks and Snape, looking increasingly concerned.

“This is a sacred establishment,” said the Bloody Baron. “And Dumbledore is letting in riffraff.”

“That is quite enough,” said McGonagall. Snape pulled Tonks through a doorway pretending to be a wall. “The school needs protecting.”

Snape backed Tonks up against a real wall, his hand over her mouth. Her eyes narrowed. 

“Friar,” said McGonagall. “Have you see Severus?” 

Tonks nipped the palm of Snape's hand and he hissed. He leant closer and whispered in her ear, “What must I do to silence you?”

“You’re looking for him?” said the Fat Friar.

“Kiss me,” whispered Tonks.

“Third year Slytherins keep trying to sneak into the Restricted Section,” said McGonagall. “And Madam Pince had to extract them somewhat forcefully an hour ago.”

“Initiative should not be frowned upon,” said the Bloody Baron. He liked the Restricted Section. It had the right atmosphere in which to appear particularly gloomy and the third years in question weren’t seeking out the Dark Arts as such. Snape agreed with the Bloody Baron, but he also had a witch pinned to the wall who had put her arms around his neck and with a small bounce, had forced him to grab her thighs as she wrapped her legs around him.

“That as it may be,” said McGonagall, “rules are rules.” She looked around the corridor. “Whatever is that noise?”

Tonks trailed one hand up from Snape's back to his head. She pulled him closer and he was hers for the taking.

“I recall seeing Severus in the grounds earlier,” said the Fat Friar, shooting a glance at the Bloody Baron when McGonagall had her back turned as she looked around for the source of the noises.

“I saw him near the kitchens,” drawled the Bloody Baron, with a wicked glare at the Fat Friar. 

“The man can’t be in two places at once,” said McGonagall, with a sharp huff of frustration. “He can’t disappear into thin air, either.” She took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose when both ghosts guffawed. “Not in the castle, anyway.” She put her glasses back on and walked away. “Well, if you see him, tell him his students are running wild. I shan’t be running around this castle looking for him anymore this early of a weekend.”

“Of course, Professor,” said the Fat Friar. The Bloody Baron rolled his eyes and clanked his chains as McGonagall disappeared down the corridor.

“I must tell them the coast is clear,” said the Fat Friar.

“I wouldn’t,” said the Bloody Baron. The Fat Friar glided into the secret alcove, stammered apologies, and glided back out. The Fat Friar’s hands were over where his heart once was. The Bloody Baron’s curiosity got the better of him and he poked his head through the wall for a moment before reappearing fully in the corridor. “Her mother is a Slytherin.” The Bloody Baron put his hand on the Fat Friar’s back and started gliding them both away down the corridor. “Excellent breeding, that woman.”

Tonks and Snape pulled away from each other as they heard the ghosts glide away bickering with each other about whether or not it was appropriate to comment on breeding.

“The Bloody Baron approves of you,” said Snape. 

“I’m honoured,” said Tonks. She kissed him again and lowered her feet to the floor as he slowly released her legs. “I think we might have embarrassed the Fat Friar.” She slipped her hands beneath Snape's robes. Snape took her hands from where they were starting to roam.

“I’m still questioning how wise that Invigoration Draught was,” said Snape. “Hospital wing.” Tonks stole another kiss and nodded. Snape stepped out into the corridor first, then called for Tonks to follow him. He took her on a labyrinthine route through the castle to avoid running into anyone else. She caught his fingers in hers on a couple of occasions and though he savoured her touch for a moment, he moved his hand within another second. 

Snape and Tonks emerged from a small corridor near the hospital wing and walked towards the ward at a suitable distance from each other. 

Snape held the door open for Tonks and followed her into the hospital wing. Poppy and Moody were standing a few feet away and Tonks, caught off guard, stumbled. Snape put his hand on her back and swiftly removed it as Poppy’s eyes widened.

“Still standing?” said Moody. Poppy succumbed to a coughing fit. “I haven’t spoken to Savage but Poppy tells me they’ll be okay.” He was giving Tonks a none too subtle once over with both eyes. “Dawlish and Proudfoot filled me in on what happened.”

“Yes, still standing,” said Tonks, closing the distance and giving Moody a hug. He batted her away. 

“You’re okay to join me on patrol in an hour?” he said. “No curse damage?”

“I’m fine,” said Tonks. “Lots of bruises is all.” Moody grabbed her chin and turned her head from side to side. She rolled her eyes. “Do you think Madam Pomfrey would have let me go if there was anything else?” Moody nodded and made sounds of agreement. “Savage is the one who got hurt.”

“Savage didn’t have a choice in staying here last night,” said Moody. “Where were you after Dawlish and Proudfoot relieved you of duty? Aberforth already told me you didn’t go back to the Hog’s Head.”

“Back to mum and dad’s,” she said, a pink tinge touching her cheeks. 

“Lass, do you really expect me to believe that?" he said.

A mumbling from the back of the hospital wing caught everyone’s attention.

“Savage!” said Tonks, sidestepping Moody and bolting down the ward. Moody’s expression softened almost imperceptibly as his gaze was drawn to Tonks climbing on the bed and the two young Aurors hugging each other. Poppy and Snape were watching, too, and Poppy’s sigh of contentment brought Moody out of his sentimentality.

“Keep me updated,” said Moody, and Poppy murmured her agreement. “Tell Tonks not to rush, she'll be no use on patrol if she’s worrying about Savage.” He glanced back at Tonks and Savage. “Order meeting tonight, Severus.” Snape nodded and Moody stomped out of the hospital wing. They heard him muttering, “Good kids, good kids.”

“What?” said Snape. Tonks was sitting cross legged on the bed and talking while a still dozy looking Savage lay back and listened.

“Tonks is glowing,” said Poppy, stepping closer to Snape.

“Invigoration Draught,” he said.

“Is probably what gave her the energy, yes,” she said. “And why are you giving her potions?”

“She asked,” he said, “she was exhausted and barely slept.” Poppy snorted loud enough that Tonks and Savage looked up. Savage was grinning and Tonks was smirking despite the growing blush. “She told me."

“When she was in your bed?” said Poppy. “I saw her a few hours ago, covered in mud I might add, and Severus, that is not the same woman. Not simply because she’s cleaned up but because she’s glowing.” Poppy was giving Tonks another visual assessment. “And judging by the condition of her skin, she’s had other potions on her. On her, Severus.”

“She had a bath,” he said, watching Savage try and sit up. “I put potions in it.” Poppy followed him as he walked towards Savage’s bed. “Back in bed.”

“I’m just sitting up,” said Savage.

“You were subject to the Cruciatus Curse,” said Snape. “Lie down.”

“Madam Pomfrey?” said Savage.

“Severus is no stranger to the after effects,” said Poppy. She reached out to Tonks, and more gently than Moody had, nudged Tonks’s head this way and that. Took her hands one at a time, cast a couple of diagnostic charms, and scrutinised her. “Moody said you’re not to rush, and given you’ve had Invigoration Draught, you need to be careful in a few hours when it starts to wear off.” Poppy shot a glance at Snape who had sunk into the chair beside the bed and was attempting to ignore her. “Especially if you haven’t had a lot of sleep.”

“Poppy,” said Snape, in a warning tone. “Tonks was waking every twenty minutes screaming.”

“And how do you know that, sir?” said Savage, sweetly. Snape stared at Savage.

“You I expect that from,” he said, before turning his attention to Tonks and Poppy. “But you two - ”

“Would make Helga Hufflepuff proud,” said Tonks, grinning.

“Are unafraid of toil,” he conceded, with a small nod. He looked back at Savage. “Bed, stay in it.” He rose from his seat and Tonks looked up at him, joy radiating from her. “Listen to Moody.” Snape walked away and didn't look back despite the immediate sound of low voices and Tonks's laughter. They'd never let him live it down if they saw him smiling. 

In the parlour of Grimmauld Place, Tonks and Snape could have been strangers. Snape stood near the door and Tonks was on a small couch with Fred and George Weasley. The Order meeting carried on around them as Tonks focused on each person who spoke and Snape found interesting pieces of ceiling to stare at. The ceiling rose in the parlour was particularly ornate and allowed Snape to ignore inane drivel about the latest Ministry gossip for a good twenty minutes. Snape’s contribution was reduced to Dumbledore’s reference to inside information about Voldemort and the recent attacks. There had been a distinct attempt by some order members to avoid looking at Snape whereas others were blatant in their staring.

Tonks was aware of Remus and Sirius standing together in the back corner of the room. Sirius had his arms crossed and was leaning against Remus. Remus had his arm around Sirius and Tonks was quite sure that Sirius was managing to nap. Tonks and Remus caught each other’s glances and immediately looked away each time it happened.

When the meeting was officially over, some people began to leave, making their way to the top step of the entrance to Grimmauld Place to apparate elsewhere. Others stayed to conduct business and investigate gossip.

Snape had been among the first to leave after Dumbledore. Tonks had been waylaid by Molly Weasley when she saw the twins talking to Tonks. McGonagall hadn’t come to the meeting, so after Dumbledore had apparated to somewhere he had murmured to Snape wouldn’t be Hogwarts, Snape turned on the top step and apparated to Hogsmeade to return to Hogwarts. 

Tonks had looked up when she heard the front door close. She searched the room and realised Snape had gone. And she saw Remus watching her. Sirius shot her glances as he talked to Kingsley. Tonks said her goodbyes to Molly with a promise that she would visit with her properly and definitely join the family for Sunday lunch some time soon. She left the parlour at a walk and ran down the hall and out of the front door. She held onto the handle to stop herself falling, then let go and turned. She landed in a heap in Hogsmeade.

She swore and pulled her hand out of a patch of mud. She wiped her hand on her trousers, catching the sleeves of her robes on branches.

“In a hurry?” said Snape. He was leaning against a tree, shrouded in darkness.

“Yes,” said Tonks. Her expression was a mirror of what Snape had seen in her mother and aunts when they wanted something. She stood up, her eyes fixed on his. She ran towards him. She took his face in her hands, smirking when the cold mud touched his skin, and brought her lips to his. He was happy to be at her command and she stretched closer to deepen the kiss, he held her closer and she wrapped her legs around him. Tonks ran her fingers through his hair as if she could bring him closer still. She revelled in his hands grasping her legs but she forced herself to pull away and stand up. She wanted to linger in the dark with him and enjoy this particular silence. “I have to visit home and prove I’m still alive after the attack.”

“And if you survive the visit?” said Snape. Tonks laughed, stepped back, and turned. With a crack of disapparation she was gone.

Tonks’s confidence wobbled when she stared at her childhood home. She opened the garden gate and took careful steps across the stones and grass. Light from the kitchen snuck through gaps in the curtains to illuminate the garden.

“Hi Cygnus,” said Tonks. “Druella.” The two black swans ignored her and she rolled her eyes. A black duck waddled up to her and gave an inquisitive quack. “Hey Alphard.” He waddled with her towards the back door which led to the kitchen. She stopped and took out her wand and unlocked the small shed that sat near the house. She rumbled about, aided by a Lumos, and grabbed a handful of treats for Alphard. She locked up the shed again, fed Alphard, and after his grateful quack, braved the house. She walked in and immediately wondered about running back out to try and hug Cygnus and Druella. Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table with her mother. Her father had his back to her, busy with cups of tea. “I’m alive?”

“And looking thoroughly - ”

“Alive,” said Andromeda, cutting off Sirius. She got up and gave Tonks a once over with her wand before hugging her. “How is Savage?”

“They’re okay,” said Tonks. “Madam Pomfrey fixed them up great.”

Ted levitated the cups of tea onto the table and gave Tonks a hug. “And you?” he said. He kissed Tonks on the cheek and went to fetch another cup of tea for her. She sat at the table.

“Bruises,” said Tonks. “Really, I’m okay.” She glanced around the table at everyone who looked thoroughly unconvinced and uncomfortably amused. “Moody gave me his all clear, too.”

“I don’t think any of us doubt Moody,” said Ted, softly, who was drinking in the fact Tonks was sitting at the table. Alive. He sighed. He hadn’t thought he would have to see his daughter endure a war.

“But you look like you’ve had sex in a forest,” said Sirius. He leaned closer and picked a leaf from her tousled hair. He presented it to her with a flourish.

“I didn’t have sex,” said Tonks.

“No,” said Andromeda. “But almost.” Tonks put her head on the table. Sirius picked out more leaves. Andromeda and Ted exchanged a knowing glance. Tonks sat up and glared at Sirius. 

“This is why you dived out of Grimmauld Place,” said Sirius. He picked up his cup of tea. “You had a little diversion?”

“A scenic route,” said Tonks. She knew she could have Flooed from Grimmauld Place to her parents’ house. The house had been a long neglected Black property which was gifted then all but legally destroyed by Alphard to give her parents somewhere safe. She didn’t know exactly what magic protected the Floo connection from the other Black properties and other properties in general, Grimmauld Place aside, only that it involved blood magic and magic so old and dubious no one had thought to make it illegal in the first place. 

“With?” said Sirius. 

“Oh, a tall dark handsome man, I suspect” said Andromeda, lightly. She took a delicate sip of her tea. 

“But I came straight here from Grimmauld Place,” said Sirius, tricking a laugh out of Tonks. 

“I’m glad my being alive is so important,” said Tonks, getting up from the table.

“Darling, it is and always will be,” said Andromeda, reaching out to place her hand on Tonks’s arm. “It’s good to have things that help make being alive more enjoyable, though.” Tonks leant down to kiss her mother on the cheek then made her way to the door.

Farewells and love yous were exchanged and Tonks left the house. She looked back at the glow filtering out of the windows and wondered how she could ever admit to Sirius that she had almost had sex with Snape.

“You know, don’t you?” said Sirius, taking a biscuit from the plate Ted had brought over. “Thanks.”

“Strictly speaking, it’s still a hunch,” said Andromeda, taking another sip of tea, and staring at the curtain covered window. Tonks still hadn’t disapparated. “Time will tell.”

Tonks looked up at the sky. She could feel his lips on hers, his hands on her body, her hands on him. She turned and apparated to Hogsmeade. Her feet touched the ground and she turned, taking in the slightly different sky, and knew she was alone. She took a deep breath and walked to the Hog’s Head Inn, savouring the cool night air. She knocked on Savage’s door and was met by her still weary friend who took Tonks by the hand and dragged her into bed. 

“Tell me everything,” said Savage, who didn’t need to tell Tonks that they were glad they didn’t have to sleep on their own. Moody had been right, there were some lessons that could only be learned the hard way.


	10. Chapter 10

Sirius leaned across the table, another biscuit halfway to his mouth, and stared at Andromeda.

“Tonks’s tall dark handsome man,” said Sirius, “and the person who gave her the Veritaserum.” Andromeda raised an eyebrow and drank the last of her tea. She looked down at what was left and swirled the cup around. “They’re the same person, aren’t they?”

“Domestic bliss has slowed your mind, cousin,” said Andromeda, smirking.

“And you know who he is,” said Sirius, pointing at her with the biscuit. “It’s more than a hunch.”

“A lady never kisses and tells,” said Andromeda, “but in Nymphadora’s case, that hasn’t kept her beau a secret, no.”

“Ted,” said Sirius, pleading, “put a man out of his misery.”

“Will anyone be good enough in your mind for Dora?” said Ted. Sirius had aided Andromeda’s escape from her family and never lost his protective leanings towards Tonks. Ted’s gratitude was lifelong for the still fresh Animagus guarding the pregnant Andromeda through her escape. Azkaban had robbed Sirius of his life for twelve years and taken Tonks’s favourite cousin from her. The big black dog had never scared Tonks. When Sirius was home from Hogwarts he would sneak out from Grimmauld Place or visit from Potter Manor and Tonks had her big black dog back. Andromeda and Ted didn’t worry when Tonks played in the fields around their home so long as she had her black shadow with her. And then he was gone. Tonks found him in an edition of the Daily Prophet which her parents hadn’t hidden in time. She didn’t ask if the news was true, she asked if he was ever coming back.

“The only cousin left is Draco,” said Sirius, “so Tonks has already exceeded expectations by managing to not have anyone in the family to marry.”

“He’s been Marked, you know,” said Andromeda, absentmindedly. The news still swirled around her mind. She grieved for Narcissa and likewise wanted to grab her sister by the shoulders and ask her how she could be so stupid.

“No,” said Sirius, and his face creased with pain. “How do you know?”

“Aside from it being inevitable?” said Andromeda. “Severus told me.” For a brief moment, Andromeda’s always consistent composure wobbled. “It was meant to be strictly between Severus and Dumbledore but they both thought that I should know, in case, in case - ” Ted reached out and stroked Andromeda’s arm.

“I always held out hope that Reg would defect to our side,” said Sirius, swallowing and forcing himself to take deep breaths. He wiped the corner of his eye with the palm of his hand. “Alphard got you to safety.” Andromeda stood up and walked around the table. She stopped beside Sirius and put her arms around his shoulders, resting her chin on his head. He grabbed her arm and leaned into her. Ted moved to the chair beside Sirius. He grabbed Ted’s hand, knuckles white. “Reg knew it was possible, knew you’d done it, knew there was a safe house.”

“You know we would have taken him in,” said Andromeda, pressing her lips to Sirius’s head. Sirius broke. It wasn’t as if he knew Draco. But history was repeating itself. A second war. A second teenager Marked. A second chance that hadn’t been taken. They had all lost so much the first time, there was precious little to lose a second time.

“He has Severus,” said Ted, trying to soothe Sirius as much as himself. “Regulus didn’t have a Severus.”

“Do you think he’ll - ”

“I don’t know,” said Andromeda, breaking. She closed her eyes and buried her face in Sirius’s black curls. How could reminders of Regulus be everywhere when Regulus had vanished.

The Aurors had reached the point where sleep was something that happened when someone shoved them in the direction of a bed. Or a flat surface. Or a comfortable chair. Not enough Aurors. Plenty of Death Eaters. Savage had recovered fully from the Cruciatus Curse within two days. The following days that led up to Halloween had still sapped all the Aurors of what energy they had. They patrolled and slept and sometimes ate. The villagers of Hogsmeade were on edge, and the Auror responses were sharp and unforgiving. The Ministry of Magic had acknowledged Voldemort was back and this was the first Halloween since Voldemort’s defeat fifteen years before that the public was truly scared again.

Aberforth had found Tonks and Savage slumped on benches in the bar of the Hog’s Head Inn just after dawn on Halloween. He nudged them until two pairs of bleary eyes were looking at him. He walked them upstairs and said nothing when they chose to collapse still fully clothed in one bed. He closed the door behind the Aurors and charmed the room so that they could sleep undisturbed as he returned downstairs and began to welcome patrons.

Snape’s dread of Halloween had never lessened as the years progressed. And this year came with the Dark Lord’s demand that all his Death Eaters grace him with their presence once night had fallen. Snape’s dread manifested in the hurling of detentions and taking of points. The brief moments that he afforded himself to think of Tonks were ambushed by different scenarios of what the Dark Lord’s request might involve. He ran through a list of potions he had memorised years before. The ones he would have to get to first. Again and again. Wondering what state he would be allowed to return in. Wondering if the Dark Lord would want to test his loyalty as he had last Halloween. Wondering how much pity Dumbledore would weigh him down with. Wondering if he would buckle and fall to his knees in front of Dumbeldore again only to hear what he knew already. He didn’t want sympathy. He wanted to know when it would all be over. He wanted to know when he would be released from his bonds.

Snape apparated to Hogsmeade and stared up at the night’s sky through his mask. The crescent moon cast a glow over the thin clouds and smudged the constellations. The hood of his Death Eater robes draped around him and moved in the breeze. He closed his eyes, head still tilted towards the stars, and tried to take deep breaths. To breathe the clear cool air and rid himself of the heady scent filled air of Malfoy Manor. A Halloween treat. The entertainment had been brought to the Manor. And the Aurors would spend the night in tense anticipation of attacks that wouldn’t come. The walls were lined with masked and hooded Death Eaters. It was painful how long the guisers in their costumes took to realise they ought to be afraid of the people behind the metal masks and black robes. Darting glances and panicked grasps. The pureblood amusement at the sight of toy wands and broomsticks. Heads whipping around to try and find from which masks the voices came. The creeping sense that the man sitting on a throne like chair at the back of the room was not in costume. The murmurs behind metal softened into a dead silence which lasted only until the Dark Lord gave his command and Dolohov raised his wand. The entertainment bled into the first hours of November, at which point Snape was given early leave by the Dark Lord. It was a school night, after all.

The breeze swept past Snape in the wrong direction. He drew his wand and arm outstretched, spun towards the movement. Tonks had her wand drawn and pointing at him. There was no softness in her as she stood before the Death Eater in full regalia. His mask. His wand.

“Lumos,” she said. His eyes watching her. “Nox.”

Neither lowered their wands.

“There haven’t been any attacks reported tonight,” she said. Her voice would pass for steady to anyone who didn’t know her. “The Manor?” He nodded. “Muggles?” He nodded again. “Children?” He didn’t move. It was all the answer she needed. “This is going to carry on as long as the war does, isn’t it?” He nodded. “Expelliarmus.” She caught his wand easily. He lowered his arm. She walked towards him. Inches from him, she undid the fixings of his robes and closed the distance as she pulled down the hood and pushed the robes over his shoulders and down his arms. She slung the robes over her arm. With only a flicker of hesitation, she reached up and took off his mask. She bundled up the mask, robes, and wand. Her eyes shone and she shoved the bundle at him. He took his things and she turned on her heel and walked away. He watched her until she disappeared behind a building. He turned and started the walk up to Hogwarts.

He reached his quarters and went straight for the Firewhisky. He knew he wasn’t the only one. Too many shared the same Halloween tradition of using any means to numb themselves. And there wasn’t a potion that was quite the same as the pain a bottle of Ogden’s could inflict.

Tonks found Savage and fell into step with them without a word. Savage had heard the crack of apparition. They reached out and took Tonks’s hand. Tonks held on like she might never let go.

There was still an hour before classes began when Poppy walked into the DADA classroom and found Snape sitting at his desk, head down on his crossed arms. She perched on the desk beside him and he looked up.

“How’s the hangover?” she said.

“Abating,” he said, sitting up and wincing.

“The muggle disappearances were in the Daily Prophet,” she said. She took a steadying breath. “Is it true?”

“Yes,” he said. Poppy gasped and her hand flew to her mouth. She leaned towards Snape and put her free arm around him. She closed her eyes to try and shut out the horrors in the newspaper print as she held Snape. She sniffed, took a deep breath, and sat up. Snape leant back in his chair, arms crossed, and stared at the ceiling.

“Would it help to say you don’t need to avoid me when you need help?” said Poppy.

“No,” said Snape, still staring at the ceiling, seeing strands of old cobwebs that hung between pieces of stone and wood. Poppy stood up, squeezed his shoulder, and walked to the classroom door. She stopped, hand on the door frame, and looked back.

“Don’t avoid her,” said Poppy, and she walked away.

When it came time to change shifts, around dawn on the Friday morning, Tonks and Savage met Dawlish and Proudfoot outside the Hog’s Head Inn. Dawlish handed over the Daily Prophet and shared the news that Moody would be up over the next two weekends for relief cover, starting with Savage and Tonks. Tonks stared at the photo of her Aunt Bellatrix. An old one. Dawlish and Proudfoot set off on their patrol and Savage took the newspaper from Tonks and shoved it in a nearby bin. They led Tonks into the Hog’s Head and up to their bedroom. The Aurors made it to the bed and collapsed into tears in each other’s arms. Neither of them needed to say a word, and whether or not it was a relief, exhaustion brought sleep to them in record time.

Snape made it through the day by knocking back potions between classes, knowing that he would undo all the restoration with more Firewhisky that night. By the time he got back to his quarters, he was all too ready to down as much Firewhisky as possible.

Tonks heard the quiet knock on the door and the murmur of her name. She extracted herself from bed and pulled the blankets back over Savage. Tonks padded to the door and opened it a crack to see Moody.

“Time to patrol, lass,” said Moody, quietly. “You can have your extra twelve when you'd be due to patrol on Saturday night.” Tonks nodded. She slipped out of the room and followed Moody downstairs, with a detour via her room for her cloak, to where Dawlish and Proudfoot were waiting in the pub to get to bed. The theory of their extra twelve hours was that the Aurors might do something other than sleep, but the Aurors were professionals and given the chance to stay in bed, they did.

Tonks and Moody stepped out of the busy Inn and into the cold November Friday night. Tonks pulled her cloak around her and watched her breath turning to mist in front of her.

“We’ll patrol together,” said Moody, relieving Tonks of having to say she wanted not to be alone. “How’re you doing?” They walked down a torch-lit lane and Tonks kept flexing her fingers around her wand. Moody shot her glances with his magical eye. Tension was rippling through her.

“That’s what I’m from,” she said. “I saw the way Dawlish looked at me when he gave me the Prophet.” She sniffed and wiped her face with the sleeve of her robes. “The way he looked at Savage, too.”

“He knows better than to do that,” said Moody. Most of his Aurors had lost someone to Death Eaters, not many could call them family. “He and I can have a chat later.”

“You’re not meant to beat up your own Aurors,” said Tonks.

“You’re not meant to be taken hostage by Death Eaters, either,” said Moody. When he had returned to the Auror department after his year of imprisonment at Hogwarts, Tonks had thought nothing of running up to him and hugging him. Other Aurors had worked to hide their anxieties. Tonks had embraced him. He had sworn, threatened horrific curses, and given in to the hug. He had missed her.

“I always wondered why mum didn’t invite you home for dinner that year,” said Tonks, trying to smile. It had been terrifying to learn that Moody hadn’t been Moody for a whole year.

“Lass, never underestimate your mother,” said Moody. “Or your father, for that matter.”

“I figured she thought you were too busy teaching to visit,” said Tonks, and Moody roared with laughter.

“Your mother has a way with these things,” said Moody. “Whole bloody family does.”

“Do you ever wish you hadn’t met him?” said Tonks. Moody sighed and slowed his pace. He turned to look at Tonks, his smile gentle, and saw her brow furrowed. She was chewing her lip and shooting him glances. When Tonks was born, Ted’s brother had jumped for joy when he found out he was no longer the only metamorphmagus in the family. While Moody drilled a young Tonks on constant vigilance, her uncle taught her how to make the most of her abilities as a metamorphmagus. Until the Death Eaters found him.

“Do you remember the Christmas you challenged each other to turn your hair the strangest colours you could think of, and his got stuck with that bloody awful green because he’d had one too many shots of Ogden’s?” said Moody.

“Yes,” said Tonks, laughing and trying not to cry. “And he tried to pass it off as a life lesson to never try and metamorphose while drunk, even though I was too young to know what being drunk was.”

“But would he take his own advice,” said Moody. He sighed heavily and stopped walking. Tonks stopped and turned to look at him. “I know what you mean, lass, but no, I’ve never wished I hadn’t met him. The years we had were a precious gift.” He reached out and Tonks’s hug was a painful reminder of how she had run into the room and grabbed a hold of him when he’d told Andromeda and Ted the news, not realising she was eavesdropping. “Remember the threats aren’t always the obvious ones.”

“I love you,” said Tonks, stepping back and falling into step with Moody as he started walking again.

“Constant vigilance, lass,” he said, and he patted her on the back.

Snape faced another hell of his own making in having to supervise all the Saturday detentions he had hurled out in the run up to Halloween. He downed more potions, knowing he would be sober by the time he met with the students who had the misfortune to be in his classes before Halloween. There was a spread from first years to seventh years. The seventh years, at least, were used to the Halloween routine and were content to do basic preparations and maintenance of the potions stores and DADA classroom. The first years cowered. Snape stared down at them and wanted to vomit. He could still hear the guisers. He sent the first years to Madam Pomfrey to make themselves useful.

Tonks and Moody returned to the Hog’s Head Inn, their patrol finished in the early morning of Saturday, and Tonks watched Moody eyeing up Dawlish. There was a spark of trepidation in Dawlish’s eyes. The low mist of dawn hung around the village. Torchlight still the main source of light beyond the pale touch of sunrise on the horizon.

“Tonks,” said Dawlish. “I - I’m sorry.” She stared at him blankly, her night had been full of Death Eaters without meeting a single one. She could remember being very young, seeing the Daily Prophet, and asking who the lady was that looked like her mother. The second glances people shot her mother when she walked through Diagon Alley. The occasion someone had drawn their wand and Andromeda had swept Tonks up in her arms while Ted stood in front of them both, his own wand drawn. Dawlish watched her expression transform. The grief growing in the lines of her face. The resemblance to her mother and aunts increasing. “It’s been a crap week and - and - I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” said Tonks. She shrugged. Her eyes stung and her face tingled with the burn that preempted tears. “My family kills people and even tries to kill its own.” Dawlish raised his hand as if to reach out, but lowered it. His eyes shone, too, but he didn’t look away. “It isn’t contagious, Dawlish.”

“I’m sorry, Tonks,” he said, quietly.

“Enough,” said Moody, stepping between the two Aurors. Neither of them had their wands raised. Both were exhausted beyond anything that resembled reasonable. “Tonks, you need to be back here by sunset tomorrow.”

“Tonks?” said Dawlish.

“I’m sorry,” said Tonks, forcing herself to breathe. She reached out to touch Dawlish’s sleeve, then turned and ran down the street.

Tonks ran to the edge of the village and apparated home. She opened the garden gate and saw her mother, an apron over her robes, feeding the birds in the first light of dawn.

“Nymphadora?” said Andromeda. Tonks ran and flung herself into her mother’s embrace. “Nymphadora, darling, what’s happened?”

“Do you love your sisters?” said Tonks, arms tight around her mother’s neck. Andromeda stroked Tonks’s back. “Did you love Regulus?”

“Oh, Nymphadora,” said Andromeda, in the same hushed tones Tonks remembered from childhood when she would run to her parents’ room in the middle of the night having woken from a nightmare. Wracking sobs burst forth from Tonks.

“How?” said Tonks. “When dad and Moody lost - lost uncle - and Sirius went to Azkaban.” She pulled one arm from around her mother, and sleeve covering her hand, made a futile effort to wipe her face.

“I had hope,” said Andromeda, softly. “It wasn’t enough for Regulus, I don’t know if it will be enough for Draco and Narcissa.” Her mother took a deep breath and swallowed several times. “And I lost Bellatrix a long, long time ago.” Andromeda pulled back and took Tonks’s blotchy face in her hands. She stroked her thumbs back and forth across Tonks’s cheeks and searched Tonks’s eyes. “You need hope to be able to change.”

“Why is this so difficult?” said Tonks.

“Because it is difficult,” said Andromeda. Tonks lowered her head and wiped her face again. Andromeda’s hands fell to Tonks’s arms. “We were able to hide much of the first war from you.” Andromeda took Tonks’s hands in hers. “But this is what war is.” Andromeda’s small smile was full of pain. Tonks was at war with herself. Andromeda woke each day wondering what news would come. Of Tonks. Of Narcissa and Draco. And she would concede, in the darkest hours of the night, of Bellatrix, too. “Go to him, darling.” Tonks gave a small nod and sniffed. She kissed her mother on the cheek and turned to leave.

Tonks walked towards Hogwarts as the sun rose and cast the castle in a cold golden light. She went unnoticed under the Disillusionment Charm as she slipped past Filch and through the great doors. A group of first years walking along a corridor in a jumbled mass forced her to duck into an alcove. She reached Snape’s quarters and the password still unchanged, let herself in and lifted the Disillusionment Charm. She walked through all the rooms and found the quarters empty.

She returned to the main living area lined with bookshelves from floor to ceiling and two small sofas by a fireplace that still had a fire blazing. A table had books and parchment piled on it beside several empty bottles of Firewhisky and many more empty vials. She promised herself she would only sit down for a few minutes. She drew her heavy cloak around her and curled up on one of the sofas. She didn’t wake when the house-elves apparated into Snape’s quarters late in the afternoon to see to all the fires. She didn’t wake when the house-elves disapparated, clinking empty bottles disappearing with them, and the fires roaring more fiercely. She didn’t wake when Snape came back, a house-elf having told him there was someone hidden away in a cloak in his quarters, and his students dismissed from their detentions. Snape crouched down in front of the sofa and saw Tonks burrowed away in the cloak. He lifted the hood from where it had partly fallen across her face and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Tonks,” he murmured, stroking her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered and it took several attempts for her to open her eyes. “How long have you been here?”

“Sunrise,” she said, her voice quiet and aching with tiredness. She couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. She leaned her head against his hand. “I just sat down for a minute.”

“It’s only a couple of hours until sunset,” he said. He smiled at her confused frown, scrunched up nose, and still closed eyes. “Do you need something to get you through your next patrol?”

“Moody’s in Hogsmeade for the weekend,” she said. She sighed heavily and leant further against the warmth of his hand. “I’m not on patrol again until sunset tomorrow.” Despite her cloak and the fire, the cold clung to her. “Can we go to bed, Severus?”

“Of course,” he said. He took his hand from her cheek and scooped her up in his arms. She leaned against him. He carried her through to the bedroom and lowered her to the bed. The only light in the room came from the well stoked fire. She pawed at her eyes and forced herself to open them so she could undress herself. She didn’t protest when Snape helped her with her boots. He caught her when she fumbled with her feet in her trousers. All her clothes off, she climbed into the bed and Snape pulled the blankets up.

He put her clothes on one of the armchairs in the bedroom then started to undress. She rolled over so that she could watch him. He was about to pull on the simple trousers he wore to sleep in when she said, “If I’m not wearing anything, you can’t either.” He laughed and put the trousers back as a smile softened some of the weariness in Tonks’s face. He got into the bed and before he had a chance to get comfortable, Tonks had her head on his shoulder and one of her leg across his. He had his arms around her. Her eyes were closed and her breathing already heavier. He kissed her forehead, pulled the blankets over them both, and sank back into the pillows. “Severus,” she mumbled, followed by a sigh that wasn’t quite a yawn. “My Severus.” Her soft body against his scarred one. Sleep took him moments after it took her.


	11. Chapter 11

Tonks stirred and opened her eyes to see Snape sound asleep. He still had his arms around her. Her leg had slipped between his and she was gently sprawled across him. She raised her head and looking around the room found a clock sitting on the mantelpiece above the fireplace. It was just after midnight. She left the bed, keeping her movements around him slow and careful. He sighed in his sleep and she left the blankets as they’d been around his hips. The fire still blazed, steadily warming the room. She stopped in the doorway and saw his arm outstretched against the sheets, the Dark Mark even darker in the low light. The formidable fighter was free of tension, his body for once not tightly wound and ready to settle for survival.

Tonks lit two candles in the kitchen with a wandless charm. She flinched at the cold metal of the tap but filled a glass, then shivered when she drank the water so cold the pipes should have been frozen. More books, more vials, more empty bottles of Firewhisky. She had seen Grimmauld Place after Halloween. Snape, at least, made efforts to deal with the hangover judging by the vials she picked up and turned back and forth with her free hand. She sipped more water and her skin ran with goosebumps. The glass beside the sink, the candles put out, Tonks walked back to the bedroom to find Snape propped up on one arm watching the doorway. The firelight caused shadows to fray around the curves of her body.

“Our orders are to kill Death Eaters if necessary,” she said. “Suspected or otherwise.” She approached the bed. “Scrimgeour’s final order before he took over from Fudge.”

“I know,” said Snape.

He pulled the blankets back for her to get into bed. She climbed onto the bed but didn’t lie down. He reached for her waist and she straddled him. She trailed kisses up his body and his hands learned more of her body as she sought not to hurry. When her lips finally met his, he took her head in his hands. Her darkening hair spilled over her shoulders. She pulled away and turned her head to the arm that brushed her cheek and pressed her lips to his Dark Mark. The rush of his hands down her back brought a moan tumbling from her lips as sparks pooled at the base of her spine. She arched against him and they held each other as he turned so she was under him. Her feet traced up his legs as she brought her knees up. She wrapped her legs around him. He savoured the sounds she made as his hands caressed the curves of her body.

“Severus,” she said, her own whimper stopping her from saying more. For once she didn’t ache from tiredness or curses. She slipped her hand between their bodies and down towards their hips. She ached for him and it was an exquisite agony.

“Are you sure?” he murmured, pressing his lips to her neck, her jaw, her lips.

“Of this, yes,” she said, guiding him into her. “Of you.” She moaned against his mouth. “Yes.” He kissed her and she deepened the kiss. Surrendering to her was easy. A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to learn everything about each other yet they elicited pleasure from each other with the ease of a hundred lifetimes spent together.

Time passed without any regard for the world outside of the bed. They succumbed to sleep only when they were spent and not because of the hour. The fire smouldered and they slept still entwined as the night drifted towards dawn.

It was inevitable. Tonks was off duty and still woke around the time of changing patrols. She eased up from Snape’s hold and sat against the headboard, surrounded by pillows. She lit a small lamp and leant back. Her hand on his shoulder, his arm across her lap. She sighed and smiled as Snape shifted in his sleep, tightening his grasp on her for a moment before relaxing again. She looked around the room and the floor to ceiling shelves full of books. She had noticed the theme in his quarters. She was staring at a shelf full of small books rather than the large tomes that filled many of the shelves. She glanced at Snape and summoned one that she saw had a bookmark almost falling out of it. She caught the book and turned it back and forth before laying it on her lap. The gilt edging was almost gone and the cover was a sea of scuff marks. She caught the page where the bookmark was just before it fell onto the bed. She eased the book open and began to read.

Snape stretched, stroked Tonks’s legs, and kissed her hip before propping himself up. She took her hand from his shoulder and steadied the book on her lap.

“Why are you reading that?” he said.

“I like potions,” she said, spreading her fingers across the pages to keep them flat. He sat up beside her. He looked back and forth between her and the book. “And this is an obscure healing potion I’ve never even heard of before.”

“Hence it’s obscure,” he said. “It’s an old potion that’s very difficult to brew.”

“And you had it bookmarked for bedtime reading?” said Tonks, turning to kiss his shoulder.

“Indeed,” he said.

“Could you make it?” she said.

“What have I done to incur your ire?”

“How do you do this step?” She pointed to the small text halfway down the page and looked at him, grinning.

“Like this,” he said, taking the book from her and kissing her. He dropped the book on the end of the bed.

“Are you trying to distract me?” she said.

“Is it working?” he said, slipping his hand between her legs.

“Yes,” she said, caught between a laugh and a squeak.

They lay in a tangle of blankets, basking in the silence that an ancient castle could afford. Snape was stroking Tonks’s abdomen, tracing small patterns across her skin as his mind drifted back to the potions book he had taken from her. That potion had bought time and he was aware that when it ran out, life was going to change for everyone. There were a few more months. At most.

“I haven’t taken potions in years and I didn’t cast the charm last night, yesterday, whenever it was that I ended up here,” said Tonks, turning to face Snape.

“Yesterday morning,” said Snape. He stopped stroking her abdomen and she ran her fingers across his hand. “I’d offer you my wand but I’ve been ambushed by Prior Incantato before and I daren’t risk it.” Tonks kissed his shoulder and then his collar bone and was working her way up his neck when she started to straddle him. He stopped her and with a kiss, got out of bed. “Tonks, this is something of a priority.” He pulled on the simple trousers and went to look through her things.

Tonks got out of bed and leant against one of the bedposts. She rubbed small circles on her face with her fingertips then crossed her arms. “You know how people mistake mum for aunt Bellatrix?” Snape nodded and found Tonks's wand in the depths of her robes that had been flung over a chair. “Family and babies feels like too much to think about.” She watched him assessing her. “I mean, Bellatrix tried to kill mum, too.” She bit her lip. “I don’t want a child right now, and I'm okay with doing the charm and taking the potion, but even thinking about that feels too much like thinking about my family sometimes.” He wondered if she had realised that her hair seemed darker. It didn’t help her own resemblance to Bellatrix, let alone her mother’s. “You want me to take that potion, don’t you?”

“I trust your wandwork,” he said. She could see the tension in him. His body so used to fighting and now he was warring with himself. “I trust you.” He walked towards her and handed her the wand. “I had seventh years asking about it on Friday. I’m their head of house and I worry about them, especially the ones who don’t ask and probably should.” He stood behind her, hands on her hips and kissed her shoulder as she cast the charm.

“Mum had me during the war,” said Tonks.

“It wouldn’t have mattered if there was a war or not,” said Snape, putting his arms around her as she threw her wand back on top of her clothes. She rested her hands on his arms. “Ted was a muggleborn and the enemy was her family.” He took a deep breath. “Merlin, your family.”

“Draco,” said Tonks.

“What?”

“He’s the only one at Hogwarts,” she said, shrugging. “Play the head of house card all you want, but you’re his godfather first.” Snape groaned and Tonks knew she was right.

“There is a girl,” he said, “and I think she may be the reason he survives this war and I know she will be thorough, but nonetheless, he needs to do what he can to keep her safe.”

“A muggleborn?” she said.

“Tonks, you can not tell anyone,” he said. “I am not meant to know who she is and as far as I know, no one else even knows there is a girl.” Tonks nodded and stroked his arm.

“It’s going to be bad,” she said, “isn’t it?”

“There is something else,” said Snape. He couldn’t think about how bad things could get. Not with Tonks in his arms.

“What?” said Tonks, turning in his arms to face him, worry etching itself into her face.

“I am unsure as to whether your mother or Moody will try to kill me first if you have your first break in a month and don’t eat something.”

Tonks laughed and put her arms around Snape, but even his strong embrace wasn’t enough to make the quiet panic of how bad things could get, disappear.


	12. Chapter 12

“Food,” said Snape, prying Tonks’s hands from him. “Consider it a means to giving yourself more energy for other endeavours.” She wrinkled her nose in annoyance then laughed. “And you need to put something on.” She smirked as he stepped past her to get to his wardrobe. “Unless you wish to give the house-elves a show then by all means I will summon them now.”

“Well, why not?” said Tonks. “They didn’t mind coming in earlier to do the fires.”

Snape summoned a house-elf and in Tonks’s scramble towards the bed there was the pop of a house-elf apparating. She tripped over and landed on the floor beside the bed. She grabbed the blankets, pulling them off the bed and over her. The house-elf looked at Snape in disbelief and nodded towards Tonks. Snape rolled his eyes and requested breakfast.

“Can you clean my clothes, please?” said Tonks, her muffled voice coming from beneath the blankets. The house-elf stared at the pile of blankets with feet sticking out from underneath and huffed. With a pop the house-elf disapparated, taking Tonks’s clothes with them.

Snape crouched down beside the blankets and pulled them away to see Tonks with her hands over her blushing face. She bit her grinning lips.

“The Ministry’s finest,” he said. She pounced and pushed him back on the floor, grabbing her wand from the chair as she straddled him. She brought the tip of the wand to his throat as his hands grasped her thighs. “I feel much safer.” Her chest wasn’t heaving, the blush had left her cheeks, and her arm was steady. Their gazes were fixed on each other. The pressure of the wand on his throat just enough to make sure he knew it was there but not so much that it would leave a mark. His hands moved up her thighs inch by inch. Her wand arm remained steady but her eyes narrowed. When one of his hands drifted between her legs, as his other hand settled on her hip, she forced herself to take a deep breath but her wand didn't move. Their gazes didn’t falter. His hand went further and several things happened in quick succession. Tonks gasped. She grazed Snape’s throat as she whipped the wand away. A hex hit the wall. And he withdrew his hand.

“I didn’t say stop,” she said. He laughed and turned his head to assess the damage of the hex. There was a black mark on the wall and pieces of crumbled stone on the floor. From further in his quarters, there was the pop of a house-elf apparating then disapparating. 

“Breakfast is here,” he said. Tonks huffed and her mouth twisted in a mix of annoyance and resignation. She closed the distance, kissed his neck, then stood up. She walked to the wardrobe while Snape got up, retrieved his wand, and repaired the damage to the wall. When she hissed, he spun and raised his wand. He closed his eyes and lowered his wand when he saw the Death Eater robes on the floor. There was no enchantment on the robes, but when she touched them, Tonks felt like she’d been hexed.

“I’m sorry,” she said, as he joined her by the wardrobe. He picked up the robes and hung them up. “I - ”

“Halloween wasn’t good,” he said.

“No,” she said. “No, it wasn’t.” Snape pulled out a heavyweight shirt and handed it to her. Tonks shrugged on the shirt and did up a couple of the buttons while he pulled out another shirt for himself. Snape took Tonks’s hand and she grabbed a blanket from a chair on their way out as he led her through his quarters towards the smell of tea and coffee. “The house-elves have seen a lot.”

“Of you,” he said, “yes.” She squeezed his hand. “They are bound, especially in regard to the professors.” He glanced back and saw the blanket. “Hufflepuff.”

“Which is why we’ve got such a good breakfast spread,” said Tonks. There was a murmur of agreement from Snape. The house-elves did have a distinct fondness for their nearest neighbours in the castle. The low table that sat between the two small sofas in front of the fire was laden with a breakfast spread of the kind which the house-elves didn’t usually deign to present Snape with.

“Or perhaps they were impressed by your show,” said Snape, smirking. Tonks let go of his hand and settled herself on one of the sofas, stretching her legs out and pulling the blanket up. 

“They may be the only ones to get another one, too,” said Tonks. She grinned and reached over to the table for a bowl of porridge. The smell of sugar and spices reminded her of winter mornings and a cosiness which she couldn’t bring herself to think of as safety. Snape poured himself a mug of coffee and poured mugs of coffee and tea for Tonks. He picked up toast and watched Tonks lost in her thoughts while she ate porridge. “I’ve interrupted your weekend,” she said, spoon halfway to her mouth.

“Quite,” he said. “It’s been atrocious.”

“What were you planning to do?” she said, glancing up from the bowl.

“Brewing.” Her gaze lingered on him. He had answered too quickly. He took another bite of toast.

“For Voldemort,” she said. “Oh, Merlin.” She put the spoon in the bowl and put the bowl down on the table. Snape returned to his coffee. “Was that the secret to stopping him all along? Getting the Death Eaters laid?” Snape’s gaze turned Tonks’s blood cold.

“Most of my associates tend to take what they want,” he said, “and are rarely troubled by whether it’s being given freely.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. She stared at the fire, the flames licking the stone and sending sparks flying. “I knew that, I just,” she gave a mirthless laugh, “I almost managed to forget about the war for a moment.”

“Most people have been managing to forget about the war for years,” he said, “you’ve been fighting all of that time.” His voice had softened. “I think you’re allowed a moment.”

“Do you ever wonder about the future?” she said. “After the war?”

“My future is tied up in whether or not I survive each meeting with the Dark Lord,” he said, glancing at her, “and Aurors.”

“But after,” she said, softly.

“Is a distant theory,” he said.

“You don’t ever wonder about life after the war?” she said. “Family? Children?” She busied herself with the blankets, wanting to drag the words out of the room, take them outside, and put them out of their misery. It wasn’t as if she’d thought about the future in more than fleeting moments amidst daydreams, but nonetheless, there was a part of her that wanted to know.

“You want children,” he said, looking her up and down, as if he might elicit something from her body. “You said that was too much to think about, too much like thinking about your family.”

“It is,” she said, “I just - I don’t know - I haven’t ever been comfortable enough with someone to think about it.” He looked at her curiously. “We’re in a war, I know that.” She moved on to busying herself with the buttons on the shirt Snape had given her. “I just wonder about what’s coming after all this.”

“That is,” he said, “not unreasonable.”

“Mum knows about us,” said Tonks.

“It’s always safest to assume Andromeda knows whatever it is you intend to keep secret from her,” he said.

“She’s going to know we’ve had sex,” said Tonks, relaxing a fraction and leaning back against the sofa. Snape groaned. Nothing was sacred. “So will Savage.”

“I can keep secrets from the Dark Lord but not from those who adore you,” he said. “Poppy will think you to be glowing again.”

“I glow?”

“Apparently,” he said, unable to keep the hint of fondness from his voice. He sighed and rubbed his face.

“The Order can keep secrets from Voldemort, too,” she said.

“They cannot know about us,” he said. He got up from the sofa and knelt in front of her. “The Order isn't safe, Tonks.” Tonks sat up and pushed the blanket aside. He slipped his hands under the shirt. “Not in the way you want it to be.” He traced one hand around the curve of her waist and kept the other on her abdomen. Tonks wriggled to the edge of the sofa and legs either side of him, crossed her ankles behind him. “They would have no mercy on you.”

“And you?”

“You told me I shouldn’t be so easy to compromise.” He kissed her chest and she held his face in her hands. “My very existence as a spy has compromised me.” He undid the buttons on her shirt one handed with ease and kissed her abdomen. “I would not be granted a stay of execution.” Both his hands moved lower down her body, one to her hip, the other between her legs. “Beyond - ” His hands stopped and he rested his head against her stomach. Sparks pulsed in her again. She ran her hands down his neck to his shoulders. “Protect yourself.” He took deep breaths which juddered through him. “I beg of you protect yourself.”

“Severus?” said Tonks. He looked up at her and she kissed him. She reached to touch his face and he kissed her palm. “They want to kill me anyway.”

“No,” he said. “They want you to beg for death.” She stilled and he could feel her pulse where he had his hands on her.

“Then I want to enjoy being alive,” she said, daring him to disagree. She closed the distance and he put his arms around her. She found his lips. He rose slowly and carried her back to the bedroom. To enjoy being alive.


	13. Chapter 13

Tonks’s muscles ached, her body sensitive in a way that reminded her unavoidably that she was alive. And she wanted more. She was still tired but without the bone deep exhaustion of weeks past. She wasn’t bruised from the curses flung at her and the ground hit to avoid them. Her skin was warm despite the blankets going no further than her waist. The war hadn’t stopped but for a few hours she thought she had a glimpse of what might exist afterwards. What she could hope for.

There was a pop of a house-elf apparating into the room and Tonks groaned, turning her head towards Snape’s shoulder as he laughed and thanked the elf before they disapparated.

“Your clothes,” he said. She raised her head and glanced at the clock. She had a few more hours. She yawned, closed her eyes, and pulled the blankets all the way over them both. She pressed herself against him and he didn’t protest but kept her held close. She slid her leg over his and pulled herself up. With the comfortable slowness of sleep not having been far away, she pressed her lips to his body. Again and again, trying to map him with her mouth. He ran his hands through her hair and down to her shoulders and arms. A gentle pull on her arms guiding her up his body until they were eye to eye. She found his lips with hers. Hidden away, as if a blanket could protect them from the world, from the war. His hands on her waist, the small of her back, her hips. She pulled away, resting her head on his shoulder. He stroked her back and she sighed with contentment.

“We’re going to have to get dressed,” she said.

“There is a little longer until sunset,” he said.

“Except I have hijacked your entire weekend,” she said. “Don’t you need time to do professor things?”

“I find I have quite enjoyed the preoccupation you’ve caused,” he said. The strokes across her back lightened until only his fingertips were tracing patterns on her skin.

“I’m more exciting than a cauldron?” she said.

“Somewhat,” he said. Her tired laugh sunk into a moan and she stretched against him.

“What about rolls of parchment?” she said.

“You are a far greater pleasure to decipher,” he said.

She rolled onto her back and pulled him on top of her. She closed her eyes and he watched her expression change as she stretched again beneath him. She opened her eyes and wrapped her legs around him. He reached down and traced the length of her thigh, his grasp settling on her when his touch was met with her sharp inhalation and the widening of her eyes. A wicked grin sprang to her lips and she tightened her legs around him. There was a banging on a distant door. They both frowned at the outside world breaching their hideaway. The banging increased. Tonks took her legs from around Snape and he climbed out of the bed. He pulled on trousers and a shirt, and picked up his wand.

He walked through his quarters wondering whether the third years who lacked cunning in the library had truly decided that a Sunday afternoon was a good time to try the patience of their head of house. Or Draco. Had Draco had come to his senses? Snape wasn’t expecting to see Filch standing in the corridor with a bundle wrapped in a Gryffindor scarf.

Tonks got out of the bed and pulled on the shirt Snape had given her. She crept through his quarters until she was at the doorway which led to the room which had the main door on the other side. She heard the low murmurs of Snape and another man. Filch? Surely not. She didn’t risk peeking around the door. The main door closed and Snape said, “You can come out now.”

“Secret admirer?” she said, walking into the room and seeing the red and gold bundle.

“I don’t think I’m Filch’s type,” he said. He walked to an open space in the room and put the bundle on the floor. “A student’s been hurt.” He crouched down a couple of feet away and started to cast charms on the scarf until an opal necklace was revealed. Snape and Tonks swore. Snape cast more spells and the room was filled with light so it seemed for a moment that they were beneath a miniature Northern Lights. They both swore again. With more movements of his wand, Snape had the necklace wrapped up and secured with multiple layers of charms. He leapt up and strode through to the bedroom. Tonks followed him and he finished dressing. “I have to get to the hospital wing.”

“I’ll come with you,” she said.

“You can’t,” he said. “Robards and Moody are only being informed now.” He strode back through the quarters. “Unless you want to explain how you knew before they did and jump in without orders.” Tonks swore. “Quite.”

“I’ll have to sneak back to Hogsmeade,” said Tonks. Snape had picked up the bundle again and was standing by the door, hand on the handle. “I’ll find a way.”

“I know,” he said, with a small smile, and then he was out of the door.

Tonks stood in Snape’s quarters, in just his shirt, and swore. Repeatedly. She allowed herself five minutes to say every bad word she could think of, then went back to his bedroom and got dressed. Without thinking, she shrugged his shirt on over her top and beneath her robes. She went through to the living area and found her cloak. She slung the cloak around her shoulders, fastened it, and pulled up the hood. She picked up her wand and cast a Disillusionment Charm. The charm came with more ease than ever. She suspected the sex had helped her stress levels. Sex. She had spent the weekend having sex with Severus. She tried to think back to when he had become Severus to her. Her hands on her abdomen, she grasped her robes and closed her eyes. The weekend in flickers and feelings and particular aches racing through her mind and body. And then Filch had turned up. Filch. She had to get out of the castle.

She went to the door and held her breath while she listened for any commotion in the corridor. She eased the door open, slipped out into the corridor, and almost walked into the Bloody Baron. She knew he could see her, not because someone had to have come through the door closing behind her as the lock clicked back into place, but because he was looking her up and down with eyebrows raised.

“And not even married,” said the Bloody Baron.

“Pot, kettle, black,” said Tonks, in a low whisper, her eyes narrowed.

“Black, yes,” said the Bloody Baron. “Your mother really was quite a specimen.”

“Specimen?” said Tonks. “Never mind.” She looked down the corridor and could see students at the far end. “Baron, I have to get out of here.”

“I don’t see why I should help,” said the Bloody Baron, “not least when you cast aspersions upon me.”

“You are clanking around - ” Tonks forced herself to stop and take a deep breath. She shook her head. “You like Severus, and I have good breeding.” The third year students were walking the breadth of the corridor and getting closer. “Please help, Baron.”

“You’re fond of him?” said the Baron.

“Rather more than fond,” she said. She glanced down the corridor. If she dived back into his quarters she might have an even longer wait to get out. She was at a dead end and trying to create a diversion might send them towards the professor's quarters with more speed. “And I think he feels the same way.”

“Is that so,” said the Baron. “Tell me, quite how much more than fond?”

“Baron,” said Tonks, watching the students getting closer. She couldn’t hex or jinx her way out of this. “Please?”

“Fine,” said the Baron, crossing his arms, sending his chains clanking. She thought she could see the students looking curiously at the Bloody Baron. “Please tell me.”

“Even with everything that’s difficult and horrible and wrong, when it’s just him, just Severus, everything feels right,” she said, looking at the ground.

“Is that so?” said the Bloody Baron. She glanced up from under the hood of her cloak and saw his expression suddenly severe. He glided back towards a wall and said, “Follow me.” The students were almost upon them and Tonks followed the Bloody Baron through the wall into a narrow corridor dimly lit by small torches on the walls. “What is it that’s wrong?” The Bloody Baron didn’t turn or look back, but continued to glide through corridors Tonks had never seen before. She followed him, pulling the cloak about her.

“Bad things are going to happen,” said Tonks, and her breath misted up in front of her. “And I don’t know if he’s going to survive them.” She took a deep breath. “Or if I will.”

“Yet you haven’t run away,” said the Bloody Baron.

“No,” said Tonks.

“Why not?” said the Bloody Baron.

“I want to enjoy being alive,” said Tonks. She stopped, her hands flew to her mouth, and she closed her eyes. The Bloody Baron had stopped and turned to look at her. Tears were trailing down her cheeks and she bit down hard on her lip to stop sobs escaping but small cries escaped nonetheless. The Bloody Baron drifted closer and saw her hair had fallen forward and cascaded down the front of the cloak. He wondered if she knew how much darker her hair had become. “I don't want that to be the last time I wake up next to him."

“This way, child,” said the Bloody Baron, gliding back down the corridor. Tonks wiped her face with her sleeve, hiccoughed, and pulled the hood and cloak further around her. Her head bowed as she walked, she didn't see the Bloody Baron glance back at her, she only heard his chains clanking. They glided and walked through the cold corridors where the torches on the walls weren't quite close enough for comfort and the small pools of light were interrupted by long stretches of darkness. There was the faint irregular drip of water from the low ceiling to the stone floor. "Stay here."

Tonks stopped and looked up to see the Bloody Baron drift through another dead end. She stood in the half darkness and the cold crept deeper within her. She thought she might turn to stone. The Bloody Baron drifted back through the wall after a few minutes.

"I have ensured your escape ought to be unhindered from here," said the Bloody Baron.

"Thank you, Baron," she said, as though the walk had robbed her of something vital. The clanking of the Bloody Baron's chains covered his sharp gasp when the cloaked woman dropped into a low curtsy. She rose thinking of the bed that was likely still warm.

"Follow me," said the Bloody Baron, "and head straight to the doors." He saw the hood of the cloak dip further in a nod. "There are a great number of people out there returning from Hogsmeade but refrain from hesitating and you will be outside quickly."

The Bloody Baron drifted through the wall and Tonks followed him into the entrance hall. A disgruntled Filch was holding the great doors open at the Bloody Baron's request for fresh air in the castle despite the cold autumn air that blew through every gap in the castle. Tonks held the cloak close, sidestepped the Bloody Baron, and walked briskly around the students making their way into the castle. Some thought they felt a stronger breeze or heard the deep gasping breaths of someone other than their companions. They saw Filch at the door and blamed the autumn breeze.

"Tonks?" said the Fat Friar, but Tonks was already across the hallway. The Bloody Baron held out his arm to stop the Fat Friar from following her. She disappeared out of the door. "What's happened? What's wrong?"

"She's in love," said the Bloody Baron, his face solemn.


	14. Chapter 14

Tonks lifted the Disillusionment Charm when she was at the edge of Hogsmeade. Sunset was still a few hours away but the autumn air was eager for the cooler night and the temperature was dropping quickly. She pulled down the hood of her cloak so she could see as much as possible. The breeze whipped her hair about her face and she tucked some of the loose strands behind her ear. Beneath her cloak, she held her wand in a tight grasp.

Despite all the students she had encountered in the entrance hall of Hogwarts and through the grounds, there were a few older students still wandering around the village along with villagers running errands and the occasional patron being escorted from a pub with force. Watching the inhabitants of Hogsmeade, Tonks could see the news of a student being hurt hadn’t spread. She wove through the small groupings of students and villagers out shopping, ignoring the glances shot at her, until a man raised his wand at her as she passed him. Tonks spun to face him and raised her wand, held her head high, and said, “Yes?”

“Her - you - you look like Bellatrix Lestrange!” said the man, with a mix of morbid fascination and something akin to delight. “Your master’s let you out then, has he?” The man tried and failed to hold himself with the same confidence Tonks did. “Well, we’ve got Aurors here.” She scrutinised him and couldn’t recall seeing the man around the village before.

“I know,” said Tonks, her voice cold and her expression frightening because she looked so thoroughly unafraid. She'd shut out the war for a few hours and then walked right back into it.

“Straight to Azkaban for you,” said the man. “Though the talk in Knockturn Alley is that Aurors hex to kill now.”

“Why don’t you try?” said Tonks. There was a small crowd growing. From the surrounding whispers, she knew the villagers recognised her, though they were content to voice how much she looked like her aunt. Tonks’s unwavering defiance didn’t help the resemblance. If they thought she was Bellatrix, they would have run. That’s what had happened before. Though there were always exceptions. And too many people enjoyed a show.

“Don’t think I won’t,” said the man. The Aurors had met people like this too often, the ones who held the dangerous belief that they might be the hero. “Avada - ”

“Expelliarmus,” said Dawlish. The man’s wand flew to Dawlish’s hand and Tonks kept her wand trained on the disarmed man. Dawlish stood beside her. She didn’t like that Dawlish had managed to creep up on her, but she wasn’t in the mood to complain. The man started jabbering, slurring a few words in his outrage, and that was when Tonks realised he was drunk.

“Stupefy,” said Tonks, and the man dropped to the damp ground. “Incarcerous.” Ropes flew out from the end of her wand and bound the unconscious man. Dawlish’s presence beside Tonks caused a furious murmuring, like that of flustered birds, to ripple through the crowd with the realisation that the man had tried to use the Killing Curse, and on an Auror, no less.

“We’re done here,” said Dawlish, looking around the crowd. “It’s no secret that Tonks is Bellatrix Lestrange’s niece, but she’s been protecting Hogsmeade for months, night and day, and if she’s a Death Eater then I’m Voldemort.” People cringed at the casual way he mentioned Death Eaters and Voldemort. The way he didn’t say Tonks was Bellatrix’s niece with any shame. More than a few people looked put out that their entertainment had been brought to a quick end. The Aurors didn’t have a big list of people they hated, but on that list were people who considered war a spectator sport. The crowd dispersed and Tonks and Dawlish were left with the Stupefied and bound wizard on the ground in front of them.

“I’m sorry,” said Dawlish. “About yesterday morning.” His stance as confident Auror had changed to that of an awkward guilty friend. Tonks reached out and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back before they both let go. She glanced at him and managed a small smile.

“Crappy week, right?” said Tonks. She sighed and looked at the man on the ground. A faint smell of Firewhisky was emanating from him. “You want to take him to the Ministry or shall I?”

“I can take him,” said Dawlish, looking her up and down. “Tonks?”

“Yeah?”

“You are looking less like your mum and more like Bellatrix these days,” he said. “I know you’re you, and it’s just the hair, but, so you know.” Tonks nodded. “No guarantees that changing would achieve much, though.” Dawlish glanced at the man on the ground. “Someone thought Proudfoot was Yaxley yesterday.”

“What?” said Tonks, sharply. It had to be a bad joke. He was trying to reassure her. “They thought she was Yaxley?”

“There was a lot of Firewhisky involved in the accusation,” said Dawlish, “but yeah.”

“Who needs Voldemort and the Death Eaters to be afraid of when you can just pounce on the Aurors protecting you,” said Tonks. “This is going to get worse.” She closed her eyes and her nose wrinkled as she concentrated. Dawlish waited to see a difference in her but the darker hair stayed dark and though he could see her face was hers, there was no escaping the family resemblance. “Better?”

“Same,” said Dawlish.

“Bollocks,” said Tonks. She rubbed her face and tried again. Deep breaths. She knew the best times to metamorphose were when she was relaxed or running on adrenaline. Severus. The weekend. Deep breaths. “Now?”

Dawlish coughed. “It looks darker, Tonks,” he said. She opened her eyes and turned, frowning, to look in a nearby shop window. She swore again. If she squinted, she would see Bellatrix, too. “What are you thinking of?” She shot him a glance and closed her eyes again. She searched for a memory, a focus. It wasn’t like casting a patronus and pushing a guardian outwards. This was having to go inwards and change herself.

“Tonks?” said Savage. Tonks opened one eye and saw Savage walking towards them with Proudfoot by their side. Tonks closed her eyes fully again and concentrated on Savage waking up after taking Dreamless Sleep. “I like it.”

“It worked?” said Tonks, opening her eyes and glancing in the window. She didn’t trust her body to tell her whether she was managing or not. Her hair matched Savage’s and Tonks did look a lot less like Bellatrix but a lot more like -

“Narcissa?” said Proudfoot, unable to suppress a laugh. “You switched aunts?” Tonks huffed. “Poor Tonks, you can’t win.”

“At least I don’t look like Yaxley,” said Tonks.

“No fair,” said Proudfoot, still grinning. “Are we just ignoring the man on the ground?” Dawlish and Tonks looked at each other and realised that was exactly what they’d been doing.

“I’ll take him now,” said Dawlish. He took a Portkey from inside his robes and grabbed the ropes binding the man. “See you all in a minute.” The two men vanished and Tonks was left with Proudfoot and Savage watching her.

“Your hair colour is an excellent choice," said Savage, "but why was there someone Stupefied and bound?” Their head tilted as they watched Tonks bite her lip. “You and Dawlish get bored?”

“The man, he thought I looked like Bellatrix and tried to Avada me,” said Tonks, quickly. Savage and Proudfoot’s expressions darkened.

“He did what?” said Proudfoot.

“He didn’t get further than the Avada part before Dawlish disarmed him,” said Tonks.

“And when were you going to disarm him?” said Savage, disbelief had wiped all amusement from them.

“When he hit the next syllable,” said Tonks. “I don’t know, I wondered if he was really going to try and go through with it.”

“Tonks,” hissed Proudfoot. “You can’t take risks like that.”

“Take risks like what?” said Moody, stomping towards the three young Aurors who immediately straightened their posture and tried not to look guilty.

“Nothing,” said Tonks.

“Where’s Dawlish?” said Moody.

“Taking someone in to the Ministry,” said Tonks. “He’ll be back in a minute.” Savage started to say something but Tonks cut them off. “Just a drunk wizard trying to show off.”

“Why have you changed your hair?” said Moody. Tonks couldn’t look him in the eye and crossed her arms. His hunch became a lot stronger. He looked back and forth between Proudfoot and Savage, both of whom were very interested in their boots. “An answer.” Moody’s voice was almost a growl. “Now.” They all knew the tone too well. Every Auror had encountered it when Moody knew something significant was being kept from him. There was the crack of apparition near the edge of the village.

“Someone tried to Avada me,” said Tonks, still staring at the ground and chewing her lip.

“The someone that Dawlish escorted to the Ministry?” said Moody. Just then, Dawlish walked around a corner. He saw Moody’s expression and despite every instinct telling him to run away, he jogged towards the group. “Tell me what happened, and tell me quickly lad, because my patience is disappearing very quickly.”

“A wizard thought Tonks was Bellatrix and started making threats,” said Dawlish.

“What about the part where he tried to use the Killing Curse on her?” said Moody. Dawlish groaned and looked at Tonks.

“I disarmed him after he said Avada,” said Dawlish. “Tonks Stupefied and bound him.”

“And why in Merlin’s name didn’t you disarm him immediately?” said Moody, turning on Tonks and raising his voice. “Tonks, I want an answer and I want it now.”

“I’m sorry,” said Tonks.

“I don’t care if you’re sorry,” said Moody. “Constant vigilance, Tonks.” He had stomped closer to her and he grabbed her chin, raising her head so she would look at him. She had her eyes closed again, screwed up. It was like trying to hold back the tide and she couldn’t do it any longer. A wave of change crashed over her. She wanted to run, but she could feel his fingers grasping her chin so that they would leave red marks behind. He watched her hair change, not to the dark brown like Andromeda’s but a darker shade that was almost black. Except she couldn’t finish metamorphosing and the colours smashed together as she hit a wall and got stuck. She couldn’t get stuck. If she didn’t have control - she couldn’t get stuck - she had to regain control. Moody recognised the panic rising in her.

“Dawlish, Proudfoot, back on patrol,” said Moody, quickly. “Savage, get your cloak, we’re going up to Hogwarts with Tonks. A student was hurt and Dumbledore wants us to meet with the heads of house.” There was a hesitation in the group as they saw Tonks, eyes still closed, tears streaking down her cheeks. “Now,” growled Moody. They scattered, except for Tonks who stood shaking in front of Moody, his hand still on her chin, the grasp all but gone.

Moody released her chin and took her free hand with his,as if they were about to make an Unbreakable Vow. “You can do this, Tonks,” he said, his voice softer than many of his other Aurors would think possible. “Toes, soles of your feet, ankles.” Tonks kept her focus on his voice as he talked her through her body. Her legs, belly, shoulders. Her grip on him was ironclad even as her breathing steadied. By the time he said, “Neck, jaw, ears,” she had stopped sniffing. She didn’t know when, but the wall had started dissolving. “Think of Walburga making your mother run around the house.” Tonks gave a small smile. Savage was back and walked so as to make as little noise as possible. Moody gave them a smile and a small nod. “Savage beating Gawain at Exploding Snap.” Tonks let slip a small laugh. Gawain’s loss had resulted in Exploding Snap being banned from the Auror offices and the Magic Reversal Squad taking hours to fix the damage in between collapsing from howls of laughter. “Your new fella.” Tonks took a deep breath and squeezed Moody’s arm. Eyes still closed, she let the metamorphosing take its natural course. “There you go, lass.” Moody let go of Tonks’s arm, she opened her eyes, and he didn’t protest when she hugged him.

“Thank you,” she said. She saw Savage a couple of feet away and reached out for Savage’s hand. Savage sidled up beside Tonks and the two young Aurors stood in the street hugging each other.

“If it happens again, remember you have nothing to prove,” said Moody. “If someone thinks you’re Bellatrix, you disarm, protect, and ask questions later.” Tonks nodded. “And you do it before they get a chance to say Avada because one day someone might get lucky and manage to summon enough intent to cause damage.”

“Yes, sir,” said Tonks, as she and Savage pulled away from each other. Moody huffed.

“Right,” said Moody. “Up to the castle.” He started to stomp in the direction of Hogwarts. Tonks and Savage jogged a couple of steps to fall in line with him. “We’ll be back before your patrol starts.”

Moody, Savage, and Tonks were walking up steep sloping grass towards the castle when there were two faint cracks of apparition one after the other. They stopped and looked towards the sounds. All of them had their wands drawn. After a few minutes, the two figures came into view and the wands were lowered. Savage and Tonks stayed where they were while Moody started trudging back down the slope towards Poppy and Snape.

The autumn air stirred itself into a gusting wind that rolled off the mountains and across the exposed ground Savage and Tonks stood on. Their cloaks rippled and their hair whipped around them. Savage swept their hair back and pulled up the hood of their cloak. Tonks’s dark hair danced around her face and she waited until she could see Snape clearly before pulling up the hood of her cloak. He caught the edges of her coy smile before she disappeared beneath her cloak completely. She and Savage turned away from Moody, Poppy, and Snape, and continued their walk up to the castle. Snape watched the cloak moving with the ease of water around her and thought back to pouring potions in the water that had surrounded her. He looked away and had to ask Moody to repeat himself.

“The sex was that good?” said Savage. Tonks shot her friend a glance from beneath her hood and Savage snorted. “How many times?” Tonks’s blissful laugh was carried on the mountain winds to the three Order members following her and Savage.

Poppy looked at Snape with an enquiring smile and raised eyebrows. He answered Moody’s question and wondered how he would evade Poppy’s questioning later on.

Savage and Tonks waited in the entrance hall and pulled down their hoods. They kept the heavy cloaks on as sunset approached and the night air began to intrude on the castle. Moody, Poppy, and Snape followed a few minutes later and in the great sweeping torchlight Poppy's eyes widened when she laid eyes on Tonks. Poppy nudged Snape as they fell into step with Moody on the walk to McGonagall’s office. He shot her a warning glance that only made her smirk. Savage was using every method they knew of to stop themselves from giggling, which wasn’t helped when Tonks grabbed their hand in a tight grasp and with nudging confirmed all their suspicions in a shared silent conversation of mouthed words, nods of the head and smiles.

McGonagall was sitting behind her desk. Flitwick and Sprout stood nearby and looked up from their conversation when the door opened. All three were startled at Tonks’s appearance but managed their surprise well. Sprout swept Tonks up into a hug and Tonks was grateful for the feeling of home in her old head of house’s embrace. They all remembered Tonks as a student being subjected to Death Eater taunts when people realised who her pureblood relatives were. The panic attacks when she hadn’t been able to metamorphose and distance herself from the family resemblance, instead making the resemblance stronger in her attempt to retreat. She never did retreat to a resemblance of Ted’s family. The pain of losing her uncle had created a barrier she had never been able to push through. As the Auror stood in McGonagall’s office, her resemblance to Bellatrix was stronger than any of them had seen in years with her dark hair and dark eyes. Poppy and Savage caught each other’s gaze. They both knew that this time, Tonks’s darkness hadn’t come from retreating to her family.

Dumbledore was at St Mungo’s with Katie Bell and her family. She was ill as a result of a curse but would make a recovery. Not least because of Poppy and Snape’s interventions. Poppy and Snape had accompanied them and returned via the Ministry, where the necklace now resided. Dumbledore wanted any investigation in Hogsmeade to remain at a low level but all the heads of house were to make their own investigations of their students. The incident had happened on the outskirts of the village but the necklace had been picked up in the Three Broomsticks. Tonks and Savage were near the back of the room. They glanced at each other. The village had been undisturbed and neither Dawlish nor Proudfoot had mentioned anything suspect happening.

“Professor Dumbledore requests that this remain within the Order,” said McGonagall, “but he wished me to convey to you both that he will be asking you to do additional patrols in the castle from time to time.” Tonks and Savage nodded. “Only for a few hours here and there with other members of the Order whilst he is away from the castle.”

“I’ll provide cover and reasons as necessary with Dawlish and Proudfoot,” said Moody. “And the rest of the Auror office if they get nosy.”

“We’re here to protect,” said Tonks.

“Just say the word,” said Savage.

“Thank you, both,” said McGonagall, taking off her glasses and rubbing her nose. “Professor Dumbledore feels it imperative that the attack on Katie Bell remain quiet and any additional security, likewise.” She put her glasses back on. “He doesn’t want to cause concern or panic amongst the rest of the students or the residents of Hogsmeade.”

“Of course,” said Tonks.

“Thank you, dear,” said McGonagall. “I feel easier knowing that you both may be spending more time in the castle.” She got to her feet. “These are uncertain times and I trust you both to do your best.”

“If I may,” said Poppy, “could I request that Tonks and Savage do a sweep of the hospital wing.” She glanced at Snape. “With help from Severus, too, that is.” She reached out and touched Snape’s arm. “We departed for St Mungo’s as soon as we could and I would feel more comfortable knowing that the hospital wing is free of any traces from the horridness that has affected Katie.”

“I quite agree,” said McGonagall. “You’ve no objections, Severus?”

“None,” said Snape.

“Tonks? Savage?” said McGonagall.

“Always happy to help Madam Pomfrey,” said Tonks.

“It’s why we’re here,” said Savage.

“We really must be cautious in these times,” said Poppy.

“I’ll let you get on, then,” said McGonagall. “Filius, Pomona, I’ll let you get on with your investigations.”

Poppy left McGonagall’s office with Snape. Flitwick and Sprout followed, but not before Sprout demanded another hug from Tonks. Tonks was happy to oblige.

“Moody, would you mind staying for a moment? There are some other things Professor Dumbledore wished me to speak with you about,” said McGonagall. “Then you can lend your expertise to the hospital wing, too.”

“Aye,” said Moody, before glancing at Tonks and Savage. “Off with you.”

Tonks and Savage left McGonagall’s office, Poppy and Snape some way ahead of them. Flitwick and Sprout having gone in the opposite direction.

“More time at the castle,” said Savage, caught between amusement and concern. Tonks shrugged.

“Dumbledore must have his reasons,” said Tonks.

“She is glowing,” said Poppy.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Snape.

“Care to tell me why you weren’t surprised by her appearance?” said Poppy.

“She looks like herself,” said Snape.

“Severus,” said Poppy, so loudly that Tonks and Savage glanced at each other.

“Everything okay, Madam Pomfrey?” said Savage.

“Everything is fine,” said Snape, without looking back.

“He’s very stern given your weekend of sex,” said Savage. Tonks laughed and lightly shoved Savage. The two Aurors spent the rest of their walk to the hospital wing sending harmless jinxes at each other and laughing. Poppy and Snape glanced at each other. A reluctant smile played on Snape’s lips and Poppy beamed.

“Severus, I’d be so grateful if you and Tonks could check my office,” said Poppy, once everyone was in the hospital wing.

Snape sighed and walked towards the office with Tonks a few feet behind him. In the office, Tonks closed the door, and with a wave of her wand, had the curtains closed, too. Snape sat on the edge of Poppy’s desk. Tonks walked to the middle of the room and started to cast the standard spells to detect Dark magic. She heard Snape’s footsteps and then his arms were around her waist. She put her free hand on top of his and she continued to cast spells as he kissed her neck. He caught sight of his shirt poking out from beneath her robes. He conceded to himself that her windswept hair was undeniably darker now. She lowered her wand.

“Are you going to show off now?” said Tonks. He pressed his lips to her neck again and she leant back against him. He took one hand from her and started to cast spells. She could feel magic filling the room, sweeping every surface and soaking up every empty space in the search for anything Dark. She could feel the magic saturating the air and sinking in spirals around her like the potions he had poured into her bath. She knew the magic wasn’t Dark but wasn’t strictly Light, either. This was old magic. The kind of magic her family excelled with. And she felt a strange ease with it. His free hand had slipped beneath her cloak and robes, and pressed gently against her abdomen. The heat against her skin sent sparks of magic through her body.

"Show me," she said, raising her wand. He stopped casting spells and slipped his wand into the hand that was pressed against her. He laid his wand hand around hers and murmured the incantations, his lips brushing her cheek, as he directed her hand in the movement the spells demanded.

“Do you think they’re having sex on your desk?” said Savage, looking at Poppy while they cast another spell around the hospital wing.

“They wouldn’t be the first,” said Poppy, with an exasperated sigh. Sirius Black's Hippogriff tattoo was an excellent piece of art but Poppy did rather wish she hadn't discovered it when Marlene McKinnon was helping him recover from his latest escapades in their seventh year.

There was a magic building in Tonks with each spell cast, each whispered word, each movement guided by him. Tonks turned her head towards him and with slow movements the rest of her followed. He retrieved his wand so his hand on her abdomen could move further beneath her clothes. Her breathing sped up. She had one hand on his cheek, and her wand arm over his shoulder. Without his hand to guide her and her lips an inch from his, she repeated the incantations and wand movements.

"Are we free of Dark magic?" she said. He searched her eyes, the determined gaze lit up by the glow of old magic she had cast herself. The glow wrapped around them, the light refusing to fade as quickly as it should.

"You are," he said. He held her closer still, his touch on her skin eliciting a moan from her. She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath.

"Severus?" she said, opening her eyes. "Kiss me." His lips met hers with a fierce desire and burned away the shadows of worry that crept closer when she was away from him. "My Severus," she murmured, her lips brushing against his. He deepened the kiss and she knew they would find a way.

Savage's dragon patronus burst into the office trailing silver light around them before bopping Tonks on the head and fading away.

"Moody's on his way," said Tonks, pulling away from Snape before stealing another kiss.

“Let’s not keep him waiting,” said Snape, adjusting Tonks’s clothes and cloak as she closed the distance and kissed him again. “Are you intent on living dangerously?” She smirked and walked away. He followed her, to be faced by Poppy and Savage watching the doorway with expectant smiles, but before either could say anything, Moody’s stomping footsteps became even louder and he appeared at the entrance to the hospital wing.

“All’s well?” said Moody.

“I feel much more at ease,” said Poppy. “Thank you for lending me these two.”

“They always do a good job,” said Moody, “but they’ve had their twelve hours off this weekend, so they should be even better equipped to do as you need.”

“A restful break, I hope,” said Poppy. Moody snorted.

“One way or another they’re usually having to drag themselves from a bed at the end of it,” said Moody. He looked Tonks and Savage up and down, one eye on each of them. “Though both of you were out in Hogsmeade when I came looking for you.”

Poppy and Moody had known each other since they were children. He was one of the best Aurors she knew. An incredible fighter. A leader who knew people needed a chance to blow off steam. He didn’t shame his Aurors' habit of indulging basic pleasures whenever they were off duty like some did. And he was completely unaware of Tonks's mussed hair, pink cheeks, and that glow.

“We were behaving ourselves,” said Savage, walking towards Moody.

“Just enjoying the fresh air,” said Tonks, lingering for a moment while she pulled her hood up, her fingers keeping their grasp on the heavy fabric

“Aye,” said Moody. “Fresh air.” Savage stopped in the doorway and looked back at Tonks. "Well, are you coming, Tonks?" Savage couldn’t contain a howl of laughter as Tonks blushed and tried to contain her smile.

"Yes," said Tonks, casting a Stinging Jinx at Savage.

"Behave yourselves," said Moody. "Poppy, Severus." He nodded in farewell. Snape nodded in return and Poppy wished Moody well. Moody stomped off dragging Savage by the elbow. Moody's growl of constant vigilance echoed down the corridor and back to the hospital wing, followed by Savage's reminder that it was just a Stinging Jinx.

"Take care, child," said Poppy. "My thanks to Savage, too."

"Any time," said Tonks, smiling. She glanced at Snape for the briefest moment, her smile growing, then turned on her heel, her cloak surging around her like waves in a storm as she ran the length of the hospital wing and down the corridor after Savage and Moody.

"Well, I trust you didn't have sex on my desk despite Savage's concerns," said Poppy. "As for the rest of your weekend - "

"I need Firewhisky," said Snape, turning back towards Poppy's office. Poppy chuckled and followed him.

"Don't skimp," she said.


	15. Chapter 15

“Why?” said Snape, pouring Firewhisky into two tumblers. He pushed one towards Poppy.

“That glow suits her,” said Poppy. Snape downed a mouthful of Firewhisky and remembered he needed to buy Poppy a decent bottle for Christmas. “And how often do you think she’s going to be able to sneak into the castle?”

“She has a talent for finding ways in and out of the castle,” said Snape.

“And it isn’t for a love of architecture,” said Poppy. She took a sip of Firewhisky. “As to what her metamorphosing suggests, however.”

“She’s comfortable,” said Snape. He stared at the bottle of Firewhisky, mourning the fact it was still too early in the evening to have more than one glass. “She thinks there is a future.” He turned the tumbler back and forth on Poppy’s desk. “That there might be an afterwards to the war.”

Poppy sighed and reached out to brush her fingers across the hand Snape had around his tumbler of Firewhisky. He looked up at her, a faint smile lost amongst the heaviness of war that he had managed to escape from for a few hours.

The sun had set and the torches were the only source of light under the cloudy sky. The Aurors limited their use of Lumos. Instead of illuminating the world, Lumos had a habit of blinding the highly skilled fighters. Where Tonks stood on the edges of the village, the shadows were murkier and denser, and there was the uncomfortable sense that to touch them would leave a residue.

Tonks’s skin ran with goosebumps, her head whipped around looking for a source to the panic that was beginning to trickle through her. She could hear murmurs of “Death Eater” among other comments on her heritage. Savage was at the other end of the village and Tonks didn’t want to risk igniting a fight by alerting them yet. She swung around at the sharp sound of loose gravel being kicked up on the street. A big black dog came trotting towards her. She whistled and the dog broke into a gallop.

She crouched by a matter of inches but kept her spine straight and her wand steady. The insults weren’t coming from the shadows and she could make out three or four different voices. Sirius stopped in front of her. She reached down and stroked his head. He let out a low rumble. Then she saw it. The rippling rope-like shimmer of four poorly cast Disillusionment Charms spread across the street, hidden for so long only by the few flickering torches that were at either end of the street. She made sure to focus on the spaces where no one was hiding to maintain the sense of searching. Her fingers sunk into the fur around the scruff of Sirius’s neck and she felt him still, albeit unwillingly. She cast hexes and shields with the power and speed that had earned her the reputation of being Moody’s protege. There weren’t even sparks in return. They had been felled before they could acknowledge Tonks’s attack. They weren’t fighters, then. She released Sirius who snarled in the direction of the bodies on the ground. Tonks’s silent Homenum Revelio showed there to be no one else around. She sent her patronus to Savage. Tonks walked towards the bodies with Sirius trotting beside her. The Disillusionment Charms lifted, she saw the four Hogwarts students. Interhouse unity.

Sirius’s snarling became altogether more dangerous but she trusted him to get the anger out without hurting the students. She picked up the students’ wands and heard the crack of apparition and running footsteps. Tonks sprang up, her wand drawn, and looked around the street. The running slowed to a brisk walk and was joined by someone else. Sirius’s snarling had stopped and he came to Tonks’s side, sitting beside her. She glanced at him then saw Savage and Dumbledore approaching her. She didn’t lower her wand fully, but stroked Sirius’s head while he leaned his head against her.

Dumbledore’s gentle demeanour was tarnished by the hint of a frown. He held his wand in a deceptively gentle grip. He saw the four bodies around Tonks, and Sirius at her feet. Savage went to Tonks’s other side, looking around the street at the students, a quiet snarl of disgust on their lips.

“There has been an incident?” said Dumbledore.

“Four students under Disillusionment Charms chanting "Death Eater",” said Tonks. She forced herself to breathe. "And other comments regarding my heritage." Dumbledore’s expression darkened as she detailed the comments and he swept around the street looking at the students. “They can’t have returned to Hogwarts when they were meant to after the Hogsmeade trip today.”

“You couldn’t have known they were students,” said Dumbledore, looking troubled. “Their wands, please.” Tonks handed over the wands. “Thank you.” His frown deepened as he surveyed the students again. “I am deeply sorry you’ve had to encounter this behaviour.”

“Sir,” said Tonks, with a nod.

Dumbledore pointed his wand at each of the students in turn and red jets of light hit them. There were groggy moans followed by the dawning realisation that Professor Dumbledore was staring down at them, flanked by two Aurors and a real life Grim. The students scrambled to get up from the ground and made panicked grasps for their wands before realising Dumbledore held them.

“You will apologise to the Auror you sought to intimidate,” said Dumbledore. “Know that this Auror showed you all great leniency in how they dealt with the situation.” The bruised and grazed students stared at Tonks, who stood up straight and flexed her fingers around her wand. “They will not be the ones facing consequences from this incident.” There was a hurried mumble of apologies and a still persistent suspicion of Tonks in the students' gaze. One of the students mouthed something at Tonks and Sirius leapt up snarling. Dumbledore looked at Sirius. "I agree." Dumbledore looked at the confused student. “We will return to Hogwarts and see your heads of house.” Dumbledore turned to Tonks. “May the rest of your patrol be of more ease.” He nodded at Savage and Sirius then started to stride away with the students running to keep up with him. Compelled by fear and magic.

Savage, Sirius, and Tonks didn't move until Dumbledore and the students were out of sight. Tonks sunk to the ground and Sirius bounced up on his paws and whined at Savage.

Savage nodded. "I'll cover you," they said, and they walked a little further away. Sirius shifted and Tonks fell into his arms, crying before he could tighten his hold on her. They sat on the ground, Tonks curled up between Sirius's legs and against his chest. He kissed her hair and stared out at the dark. Being from their noble and ancient house was dangerous no matter what side had the upper hand. He kissed her hair again.

Snape and Poppy heard McGonagall before they saw her. Half way down the stairs on the way to dinner, they glanced at each other and hurried down the rest of the stairs to the entrance hall. Dumbledore was standing behind four roughed up seventh year students, one from each house, while McGonagall berated them.

“You thought it acceptable to avoid Hogsmeade curfew to try and ambush an Auror?” said McGonagall. Dumbledore wasn’t stopping her tirade but he looked up and saw Snape and Poppy approaching. “Calling her a Death Eater?” McGonagall was pacing back and forth. “And then hurling those - those obscenities at her?”

“Is this true?” said Snape. The students heads whipped around to where Snape was walking towards them. “Students making accusations about whether or not people are Death Eaters?”

“From under Disillusionment Charms,” said Dumbledore. “I happened upon the Auror after she had disarmed them.” He looked at the students who at last seemed to feel the weight of their actions beginning to settle on them. “The Auror acted as she should have, and if these students feel anything, it ought to be gratitude that she didn’t use anything like the full extent of her power or instructions to keep Hogsmeade safe.”

The Slytherin student looked suitably terrified, and the other students realised that their punishment hadn’t even begun. Snape turned on the students, and his voice terrifying in its steadiness and slowness, he said, “You made entertainment for yourselves out of Death Eaters?”

“I am afraid so,” said McGonagall. She had stopped to catch her breath, all the while still looking at the students with disgust. The students would all have detentions at the orders of all the heads of house, but Dumbledore suspected they would learn a lesson for life from Snape.

Tonks finished her patrol with Savage around dawn and apparated straight to Grimmauld Place. She walked into the kitchen, saw Sirius and Remus all over each other, and promptly turned around. Hands on her hips, she stared at the bleak hallway. Remus froze and Sirius laughed.

"I just came by to say thank you," she said to the floorboards. Remus stepped away from Sirius and Sirius jumped off the counter.

"How are you?" said Sirius, as Remus sorted out his robes and gave Sirius his shirt back.

"Can I turn around or have you managed to get Remus naked?" said Tonks. Remus groaned and sunk into one of the kitchen chairs.

"I am fully clothed, thank you," said Remus. Tonks turned around and rolled her eyes when she saw Sirius throw his shirt over a chair instead of himself.

"Never underestimate his determination," said Tonks.

"No," said Remus, his smile caught between fondness and pain. He couldn’t stop himself staring at her, her hair so dark it might as well have been black, and the family likeness between her and Sirius more pronounced than ever. Except for the eyes. They reminded him of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. "It seems to be a family trait."

"I'm sorry, I - " said Tonks, glancing at Sirius who was staring her oddly.

"You've had sex," said Sirius. "You've finally done it with - " Tonks lunged across the space between them and put her hand over Sirius's mouth.

"Wait." She looked at Sirius then frowned. "You can't know who he is." She took her hand from his mouth. He was grinning. He wouldn't be grinning if he knew she had spent the weekend in Snape's bed.

"I was going to say the tall dark handsome man who I can't convince Andromeda to name," said Sirius, "but by all means you can tell me."

"Tall dark handsome man?" said Remus.

"This one is all yours," said Tonks, "despite family tradition."

"And you enjoyed it," said Sirius, walking around the table to sit on Remus's lap.

"I greatly enjoyed not being related to him, yes," said Tonks. "Why isn't your Animagus form a cat?" Remus snorted and Sirius pouted.

"Dogs can enjoy laps," said Sirius. Remus put his arms around Sirius and kissed his shoulder.

"Even the big scary dog who looks like a Grim," said Remus.

“I told Remus about Hogsmeade,” said Sirius. “You okay?”

“Oh, it’s just ordinary Auror stuff,” said Tonks, stepping back and bumping into the kitchen door. She jumped and wrapped her arms around herself before sitting down on the nearest chair at the table.

“I told Remus what they were saying, Tonks,” said Sirius.

“Oh, right,” said Tonks, her voice catching. Remus hesitated but reached across the table. Tonks reached out and their fingertips touched, grasping for a moment before Tonks pulled back. “It’s nothing new.” She looked as though she was trying to burrow away in her robes and cloak. “Lots of people want to kill me.”

“Welcome to the club,” said Sirius, devoid of lightness. He glanced around the kitchen. He tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage. There were ghosts everywhere. Remus had his arms around Sirius and was staring off into the distance. Sirius shook his head. “You’re not doing anything risky are you?”

“Someone in our family do risky things?” said Tonks. “No, I’m being good.” Remus shot her a quietly amused look.

“Your man isn’t a Death Eater is he?” said Sirius. “You haven’t wound up Bellatrix by seducing Rabastan?” Tonks looked like a deer caught in a Lumos. Sirius's eyes widened. "What in Merlin’s name have you done?”

Tonks’s eyes darted around the room and she chewed her lip. Wondering what she could confess to in order to keep the rest a secret. Wondering how safe she would be. She glanced at Sirius and Remus. She trusted them. Both of them. She screwed up her eyes and Sirius’s stomach dropped as he realised what was about to happen a second before it did. She heard them both swear as she metamorphosed into Bellatrix. She opened her eyes and instead of the warm darkness Remus had been confused by earlier, he saw the cold soulless darkness of Bellatrix. It was only because they had seen Tonks metamorphose in front of them that they hadn’t drawn their wands, though they both had the involuntary twitch to their wands when Tonks tipped from a family resemblance to Bellatrix herself. Tonks closed her eyes again and returned to the darkness she had walked into the kitchen with, her face her own, the warmth all hers.

“I’ve done it a few times during raids and attacks,” she said, quietly, staring at the table. “It’s bought me time to save people and a chance to distract and get the upper hand in fights.”

“She’ll want to kill you,” said Sirius, wanting to throw up. “Tonks, oh Merlin, Tonks.”

“I know,” she said. Sirius leapt up from Remus’s lap and ran the few feet to Tonks and pulled her up off the chair and into his arms. Her arms around his neck as if she’d never let go. They stood swaying on the spot, eyes screwed up, sniffing. Gasps came as they tried to keep the terror at bay. Bellatrix had hated Tonks from the moment she knew Andromeda was pregnant by a muggleborn. Tonks heard footsteps and turned her head to see Remus standing a couple of feet away. She held out her hand and he put his arms around her as best he could given how Sirius looked like he might never let her go.

“You can’t tell mum,” she mumbled. Sirius looked over Tonks’s head to see Remus nodding reluctantly, as though it hurt him. “We won’t.”

“So,” said Sirius, his voice still shaky, “tell me about the Death Eater you’re having sex with.” Tonks’s hiccoughing laugh almost hurt him. Sirius wanted to bundle her up and keep her safe with Andromeda and Ted until the war was over. It had worked once. Why couldn’t it have worked more? “Is your man good?”

“For me, he is,” said Tonks, her voice steadying.

“Do we know him?” said Sirius. Tonks kissed Sirius on the cheek and rested her head on his shoulder, wiping her cheeks with her sleeve.

“Take good care of Remus and I might tell you,” said Tonks, wriggling out from between Sirius and Remus, who each kept an arm around the other. She headed towards the kitchen door. Sirius glanced at the fireplace.

“You’re not going home?” said Sirius. Tonks went a delicate shade of pink. “You’re going to him? Does Andromeda not know that you’ve had sex?” Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius was all but bouncing with the welcome distraction of excitement.

“Shameless,” muttered Remus.

“Would you be so kind as to stop him jumping in the Floo the second I leave and, you know, keep him occupied for a while?” said Tonks, one hand on the door.

“Anything for you,” said Remus, smiling. Tonks disappeared out of the door and they heard her run up the stairs and out of the front door. The crack of apparition broke the spell on Sirius.

“I have to speak to Andromeda,” said Sirius. “I know and she doesn’t!”

Remus turned and backed Sirius up against the counter, his fingers already on Sirius’s belt buckle.

“I’m under orders,” said Remus, lips inches from Sirius’s “After everything, I think I owe her this.” He had Sirius’s belt undone and was slowly pulling the leather strap through the belt buckle. Sirius glanced at the fireplace. Remus bent his head to nip Sirius’s shoulder and Sirius moaned.

“Sex, then Andromeda,” said Sirius. Remus burst out laughing and rested his forehead against Sirius’s.

Tonks apparated back to Hogsmeade and instead of heading towards the Hog’s Head Inn, she cast a Disillusionment Charm on herself and walked up to Hogwarts. Despite the early hour, she saw a small group of students and teachers at the great doors. She slowed in her approach. The students were the ones from the night before. Sprout led the group away into the grounds and Tonks saw Snape by the great doors, returning Sprout’s farewell and about to go back indoors.

A badger patronus scurried towards Snape and he looked up to see where it had come from. He saw the footsteps in the morning frost that stopped near a tree and didn’t go any further. She walked towards him and he saw more footsteps emerge in the morning frost. There was the barest edge of a shimmer around her, where the mist was distorted only if someone knew what to look for. When she was beside him, he flung one of the great doors open and started to stride towards the dungeons. His robes billowed around him and she held her cloak close to her as she tried to keep up.

He walked into his quarters, the door slammed shut, and Tonks appeared in front of him. She was breathless and somewhere between tears and laughter. She ran towards him and hands on his robes, he let her push him back until he was forced to sit on one of the sofas. He pulled her down and she straddled him. Her cloak a cold cloud of heavy fabric around her, he pushed aside her robes and pulled her closer. She took his face in her hands. She kissed him as though it had been days and not hours since her lips had last met his. Her hands drifted down to start undoing his robes and he brought up a hand to stop her. The cold was already leaving her fingers.

“It pains me,” he said, breaking the kiss. “But I must leave you to go and teach.”

“You can’t spontaneously develop Dragon Pox?” said Tonks, kissing his jaw, his neck.

“Alas, no,” said Snape. Tonks wriggled her hands free of his grip and intertwined her fingers with his. She kissed his cheek and sat up. “Are you okay?” She leaned in and kissed him again. “That isn’t an answer.”

“It’s the one you’re getting,” she said, bringing his hand to her mouth and looking him in the eye as she pressed her lips to the back of his hand.

“Will you rest here today?” he said. “Until you have to go back out on patrol?” She nodded, then kissed him. She climbed off him, aching at the absence of his hands on her. He stood up and pulled her closer again. “Then I will see you later.” Another kiss, and he was walking out of his quarters. If he looked back, he didn’t think he’d be able to leave.

Tonks watched the closed door, hoping he would come straight back and knowing he wouldn’t. She walked through to the bedroom and with each step began to feel the weight of a night. The fire was roaring, the bed made, the room cosy. And there was a distinct lack of the person she wanted to share the bed with. Her body became heavier with each piece of clothing she took off and flung onto a chair. By the time she had taken everything off and made it to the bed, dragging extra pillows and blankets from the wooden chest at the end of the bed, she could barely keep her eyes open.

At midday, Snape entered his quarters with quiet footsteps and a gentle hand on the doors. He stopped in the bedroom doorway and leant, arms crossed, against the frame. Tonks lay in the middle of the bed. He could see her legs stretched out beneath the blankets. So many blankets and pillows. She was surrounded. Her dark hair a halo around her. She had sunk into the pillows and held the blankets close to her. Her arms and shoulders bare. She stretched in her sleep before curling up and pulling the blankets closer. Strands of hair fell across her face as her breathing settled into the slow steady rhythm of deeper sleep. Snape had to force himself to leave his quarters again.

Tonks heard the main door open and close. Heard only Snape’s footsteps. Heard them change as he took off his boots and moved through the rooms. Heard the heavy thunk of robes being thrown over a chair. She put down the potions book she had been reading. He smiled when he saw her in a cocoon of pillows and blankets, a large potions tome across her lap. Her smile was tired, her eyes bright but bleary.

"You're awake," he said.

"Only for a little while," she said. He crossed the room and sat up on the bed beside her. He put his arm around her and she leaned against him, his shirt crumpling as she tried to get comfortable. He pulled the book onto his lap and looked at her questioningly. "I like obscure potions."

"There's obscure and there's illegal," he said.

"And there are bookmarks," she said, holding one up. She smirked but her smile faded into a frown. She shot him a glance and looked back at the book. "You've brewed this for Voldemort?" Snape closed the book and put it on the bedside table where it landed with a thunk. Tonks untangled herself from the blankets and climbed on top of him.

"If you're going to ask about the Dark Lord, I get to ask about last night," he said. His hands moved down her thighs and he pulled her closer. She moved her hips to bring herself closer still. "And get an answer."

"You already know," she said, and her stomach dropped. "You have brewed that for him, haven't you?"

"And Dumbledore arranged access to some of the ingredients," said Snape.

Tonks stared at the buttons on his shirt and undid them, working her way down his body, until she fumbled one and couldn't work the fabric around the button. She wouldn't look at him and sniffed. He stroked her cheek and she leaned against his hand, the warmth of his skin on hers. The slight pressure as his hand moved through her hair.

"I thought I was okay," she said. She turned her head, and almost absentmindedly pressed her lips to his Dark Mark. "Sirius was there with Savage, and I broke down afterwards." She raised her eyes to meet his. "I know Sirius wants to lock me away and he knows I won't let him." With the slowness of someone close to exhaustion, she closed the distance, and kissed him. She pulled away and rested her forehead against his. "I missed you today."

“We have a little time,” he said. She forced herself to look at the clock above the fireplace. She could have more sleep. A couple of hours rest might help her get through the night’s patrol. He traced patterns on her back and she turned to look at him. She knew what she wanted to have carry her through the long patrol and cold night. She kissed him and her fingers returned to the button, slipping the fabric from around it with ease.


	16. Chapter 16

Snape’s lips were on Tonks’s collarbone as she slipped the shirt from his shoulders when there was a knocking at the main door. It carried on in an odd rhythm, as if it had been practiced in the way that young children did to annoy their elders. Snape stilled and pulled away from Tonks.

“Draco,” said Snape. He groaned and moved Tonks from his lap. She let herself be shifted onto the bed. She lay back propped up on her elbows, watching him get dressed. She considered him. “I’ll be back in a minute.” She murmured an acknowledgement then huffed. He took his wand with him and once the door was closed, she saw a glow surround the door then fade away.

“What?” she said, scrambling up onto her knees. He had warded the room. She half expected him to put a silencing charm of one kind or another on the doorway, but to put wards on the room? She got off the bed and walked towards the door grabbing her wand along the way.

Snape opened the door to find Draco staring at the ground, school bag slung over his shoulder.

“I finished the book,” said Draco. He couldn’t bring himself to meet Snape’s gaze.

“Come in,” said Snape, holding the door open. Draco walked into the room, at ease with the surroundings, and flung himself down onto one of the sofas. He slumped down against the cushions and crossed his arms. He stared at the table, his focus somewhere entirely different. “Enjoy the book?” Draco glanced up in surprise then frowned.

“Not really,” said Draco, and at Snape’s amused sigh, Draco finally looked at his godfather properly. “I get it, I need to practice Occlumency.”

“It’s the only way to protect yourself,” said Snape, sitting on the sofa opposite Draco. “To protect what matters to you.” Draco’s face furrowed in quiet surprise. No one was meant to know.

“I’m good enough,” said Draco, with just a hint of petulance but he couldn’t keep the worry out of his voice.

“Enough for her?” said Snape. Draco stared at him and Snape could see the boy warring with himself. This child who had been thrown into war. Snape was meant to be protecting Draco but Draco was determined to prove himself. Determined not to accept that war could find her. Draco pulled a book out of his bag and put it on the table. “Another book, then?”

“Yes,” said Draco, trying to keep his composure. Snape couldn’t doubt that the boy was trying his best. He doubted whether Draco’s best would be enough to keep safe what was helping him survive. He had to practice more. Snape stood up and went to the bookcase. He pulled another volume on Occlumency from a shelf and handed it to Draco who had stood up. “Thanks.”

“Keep practicing, Draco,” said Snape. Draco nodded, shoved the book in his bag, and walked to the door.

“I can do it,” said Draco, swallowing hard, his hand on the door handle. Snape could hear the echoes from memory of a much younger Draco saying the same thing.

“I know you can,” said Snape, and with that, Draco left. The door glowed as the wards fell back into place with Draco’s departure. Snape hurled a hex at a bare wall, swore, and repaired the damage. Draco was talking to him. There was still a chance Draco might listen.

Wand still in her hand, Tonks touched the door with her fingers. He had warded the door. Magic radiated off the door and tendrils of magic danced along her fingers. She leant closer. Silence. She stepped back and started to cast charms on the door. She swore, and hands on her hips, nudged the door with her foot. This wasn’t standard warding. Of course it wasn’t. Why would Snape use ordinary wards? She swore again. She pressed both hands against the door. The handle wouldn’t budge and she couldn’t hear anything on the other side.

“Please?” she said. The door didn’t comply. She kept one hand on the door and started to cast charms again. The wards hadn’t harmed her. The wards had kept her contained. Safe. These weren’t wards to keep people out but to keep one person in. She changed her charmwork to find a different angle and felt the touch of the tendrils change as if a layer had been lifted. Another charm, another layer. Then something else. The magic felt tender, the kind cast not from anger or fear or apathy but something altogether different. Another charm. The door was a door again. She tried the handle and it moved. She opened the door and saw Snape leaning against the hallway wall opposite, arms crossed, watching her.

“I wondered how long that was going to take you,” he said. He smiled, enjoying that her priority had been the wards and not clothes. She narrowed her eyes but a smile still played on her lips.

“I was taken a little off guard,” she said.

“Very concerning in an Auror,” he said. “I had my reasons, however, and I’m touched that you respected them.” Tonks huffed in displeasure. “I’m not sure what your cousin would have made of you.”

“What’s going on?” she said, approaching him. “You didn’t just make sure I couldn’t hear anything, you kept me in there.”

“He’s allowed privacy,” said Snape, shrugging.

“Severus,” she said, with a warning in her voice. He pulled her close and she slipped her arms around his neck as his hands settled on the small of her back.

“The boy is allowed his secrets,” said Snape, his hands moving to her hips as he turned and backed her up against the wall.

“And you?”

“Are bound.” He pressed his lips to her neck. “By more than being his godfather.” She realised only his robes were done up and once she had the fixings undone, she pushed his robes and shirt off him in an easy sweep.

“Bound by who?” she said. A moan escaped her as his hands returned to her body.

“That,” he said, “I cannot tell you, either.” So it wasn’t Dumbledore or Voldemort. His touch moved with practiced pressure and threatened to derail her thoughts completely. She gasped, her heart racing, eyes closed.

“I can’t convince you?” she said. The stone wall against her back, his body against hers, his hands returning to the places she longed to feel them.

“You are welcome to try,” he said, as she nudged his trousers further down until they fell to the floor. Her arms back around his neck, she made a small jump and wrapped her legs around him. He grabbed her thighs and in the rush of heat as her legs parted further and wrapped around him more, almost all thoughts of eliciting anything but pleasure from him were burned away.

“You - you are teasing me,” she said, moving her hips as much as she could between the wall, him, and his hands holding her there.

“You are in the midst of an interrogation,” he said, his lips still by her neck, his voice rough. He hadn’t kissed her and that was driving her as wild as the fact that he was holding back elsewhere, too. “I wouldn’t presume to hinder an Auror.”

“Severus,” she said, begging, as he kept himself just out of reach and his lips kept trailing kisses on her neck.

“Yes?”

“Interrogation over,” she said, her head back against the wall and his lips moving across her collar bone, “interrogation over.”

“Are you sure?” he said. “I wouldn’t want to disrupt Ministry procedures.” His grasp tightened on her thighs and he moved a fraction closer.

“Yes,” she moaned. Her chest rose and fell with ever quicker breaths. She took his head in her hands and managed to shoot him a withering glare at the sight of his smirk. She pressed her lips to his and deepened the kiss as he closed the distance. She cried out in relief. And in the hope they would do this again. She could get used to walls.

Ministry training made in depth attempts to prepare Aurors for jumping into a fight at any time. Tonks lay on Snape’s bed, an arm flung over her eyes, feeling distinctly unprepared for walking let alone fighting.

“I can do this,” she said, still not moving. “Another minute and I’ll get up.” Snape laughed as he watched her stretch on the bed and sink back into the mattress. He was doing up the buttons on his shirt when he caught sight of her wand. He picked up the wand and took it with him to the bed. He sat down beside Tonks, putting her wand down between them.

“We’ve forgotten something,” he said. She moved her arm and saw him doing up the buttons on one of the cuffs of his shirt.

“You do it,” she said. “I couldn’t conjure a Lumos right now.”

“It’s your wand,” he said.

“I know it is,” she said, “and I asked you to do it.” She fixed him with a stare that didn’t soften until he picked up the wand. He cast the charm, put the wand back down, and placed his hand on her abdomen. She sighed and smiled, reaching out to fiddle with the buttons on his shirt. “Part of Auror training is being used to using any wand available.” A touch a blush caught the edges of her cheeks. “But I haven’t let anyone do that before.” His mouth pulled up in a small smile as he looked at her abdomen and started tracing patterns across her skin. She let her gaze travel across him until she saw his Dark Mark peeking out from the cuff he had yet to do up. “Draco’s been Marked, hasn’t he?” He nodded. His hand fell from her as she rose to her knees. She kissed his shoulder.

“Andromeda knows,” he said, getting up. “I couldn’t do anything to stop it and Lucius didn’t try.” He rubbed his face. “Narcissa was powerless to stop it, too.”

“Is that what mum thinks?” she said. His empty laugh was all the answer she needed. She got up and started to dress. She was doing up the buttons on her trousers when he left the bedroom. She looked round at the doorway. He returned a moment later with a vial in hand.

“Turn,” he said. She shot him a confused glance but did as he asked, crossing her arms and peeking over her shoulder. He poured some of the potion into his hand and put the stopper back in the vial before throwing the vial on the bed. He moved closer to her and started to rub the potion across her back. A moan of pleasure escaped her as she felt the potion sweep across the patches of her back which had been most intimate with the hallway wall. The thorough spread of potion beneath his hands down to her waist and the small of her back before moving back up her spine, across her shoulders and down her arms left a trail of heat pulsing through her body. His hands trailed down to her wrists and she felt the potion thin until it was just his skin against hers.

“Don’t stop,” she said, lost in a haze of relaxation.

“I have already heeded your requests on that front today,” he said, his lips by her ear. He kissed her neck and stepped away from her to look for his robes. She huffed but finished dressing. She slipped on her robes and was pulling her hair from beneath her robes where it had caught when she heard his sharp inhalation. She looked up to see him looking at her, tension rippling through him, his hands curled into fists. His left hand twitched slightly.

“He’s summoning you,” she said. He nodded. He watched her hands drift towards her waist and hesitate around her abdomen before settling on her hips. Her gaze darted around the room and her eyes shone as she did everything to avoid looking at him. She chewed her lip and stilled, eyes closed. Her held breath was enough to freeze him where he stood. She took a juddering deep breath, sniffed, and opened her eyes. She crossed the room, took his face in her hands, and kissed him.


	17. Chapter 17

He grabbed her waist, wanting to stay there, right there. Her lips on his. Her body against his. Hidden away. His arm burned and his grasp tightened. She whimpered but didn’t move away. Her hands moved further, anything to pull him closer. When their lips parted, she rested her forehead against his. They both tried to speak but nothing came except deep breaths. His arm seared with pain and his fingers dug into her hip. She brought his mouth back to hers and at her kiss his grip softened.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“Severus,” she said. “Come back.” He released her and stepped back against a wall. She stood, hands on her hips, head bowed and watching him from beneath her lashes. Her hair spilled across her robes. She took a deep breath and walked up to him. She undid his robes and kissed his jaw. “Just come back.”

“How will you escape this time?” he said, as she moved away and sat on the bed, her wand gently twirling in her fingers. “You never did tell me how you managed it before.” He removed his ordinary robes and retrieved his Death Eater robes and mask. The robes slipped on with an uncomfortable ease and Tonks couldn’t bring herself to watch for more than a moment as she heard the fabric rustle. “I have to see Dumbledore first.” He pulled a heavy travelling cloak from the wardrobe and slung it around his shoulders. “I can come back here for you before I leave to see the Dark Lord.”

She stood up and looked at the Death Eater. He was already holding himself differently. Like a fighter ready to enter a battle, a hardened soldier. She picked up her cloak from the chair she had dumped it on all those hours before and put it on. She didn’t like how similar the cloaks looked. She took his hand and led him from the bedroom through to the main room.

“I might have a plan,” she said. They stopped and he stood behind her, his arms around her. Her hand slipped from beneath her cloak to rest on his. “Baron?” She stood up straighter. “Bloody Baron?” Snape’s hold on her tightened as the Bloody Baron drifted through a wall with the Fat Friar.

“No,” breathed Snape. Tonks turned her head to look at him. He kissed her cheek and she smiled.

“My child,” said the Fat Friar, looking delighted to see Tonks and still with a warm smile when he looked at Snape.

“Yes?” said the Bloody Baron, who looked somewhat less delighted. He looked at the pair. Tonks in Snape’s embrace. The warmth in her darkness. His ease in shielding her. Both cloaked. Both prepared to fight. Why did history insist on repeating itself?

“I need to leave the castle,” said Tonks. “Severus needs to see Professor Dumbledore before leaving for the Dark Lord and I don’t wish to - to hinder him.” His hands pressed against her and she felt the traces of magic still in her, ready to rush through her veins at the slightest chance.

“I shall escort you through the galleries and wynds again,” said the Bloody Baron.

“The hidden passageways?” said Snape, unable to stop himself. The Bloody Baron nodded. Tonks turned to face Snape properly and kissed him. She stepped out of his embrace and turned back to face the Bloody Baron, pulled up her hood, and dropped into a low curtsy before rising with a grace that few would think possible of her. As she rose, she moved her wand about herself and disappeared beneath a Disillusionment Charm. Snape’s gaze darted to the Bloody Baron who was watching Tonks. The Bloody Baron made a small bow. Snape glanced at the Fat Friar who was watching Tonks. The Fat Friar gave a small nod of his head, his smile rendered more solemn.

Snape followed the shimmering air through the door that appeared to open by itself. The door closed and he saw the Bloody Baron and Fat Friar waiting on the other side of the corridor. Snape felt Tonks’s touch on his wrist. “Come back,” she said, and then her touch was gone. The Bloody Baron drifted through the wall and the shimmer disappeared against the stone behind him.

“She will be quite safe,” said the Fat Friar, with a kindly smile, before disappearing through the wall. Snape crossed the corridor and touched the wall where Tonks and the ghosts had passed through. Solid stone was beneath his fingers. He swore. This was how she had escaped before. The Bloody Baron had bowed to her. Snape’s Dark Mark still burned and he strode through the corridors wondering how Tonks had found favour with the ghosts such that they allowed her through the castle by means that until now he had thought to be the remnants of legends.

The pools of light were fewer and further apart than she remembered. Tonks kept glancing up to see the Bloody Baron’s icy glow amidst the dark, his clanking chains an odd comfort amidst the noises which were faint enough to be indistinguishable yet eerily familiar.

“This will be a longer journey,” said the Bloody Baron. “But it shall take you directly out of the castle.”

“We’ll be with you throughout,” said the Fat Friar.

“Thank you,” said Tonks. She held her wand tight and with her other hand pulled her cloak closer. The narrow corridor she remembered gave way to a wynd that was wide enough for a small carriage to pass through. She looked up and the torchlight reached further up the walls. There was the suggestion of a ceiling but her gaze returned to the Bloody Baron. Her footsteps echoed through the wynd as they went deeper beneath the castle. There was a quiet heaviness that grew with each step she took. They passed by dark openings to other routes and stepped into other darknesses which the Bloody Baron didn’t hesitate in approaching. Tonks had the uneasy feeling that the torches were lighting in accordance with their path. She glanced back to see the Fat Friar and no light behind him. Her breath was turning to mist in front of her and ribbons of cold wound about her body. She sniffed and tried to suppress a shudder.

“Baron,” said the Fat Friar. The Bloody Baron came to a halt, and with him, Tonks. She looked up to see the Fat Friar on her other side, worry creasing his face and his hands fidgeting. “Perhaps this is too strenuous a journey.”

“She is quite capable,” said the Bloody Baron, though nonetheless he looked at the Fat Friar and gave a nod of acknowledgement. They could see how far they would go to shield each other. “It will not be much further.”

The wynd gave way to a smaller gallery which was lined with narrow windows showing only pitch black with no hint of the night’s sky. Tonks’s cloak flowed around her as she wrapped her arms around herself. There was the hint of an incline beneath her feet. She tried counting her steps but her thoughts kept returning to his lips on hers, his hands on her hips. Another corridor, narrower still, the echoes shorter and sharper. Tonks shivered with the sense that she had company more than the Bloody Baron and Fat Friar. She looked up to see the Bloody Baron’s chains moving in time with the echoes and was still uncertain that they were alone. The Fat Friar watched Tonks’s steps leaving a frosty trail across the damp stone and sighed.

The incline became steeper and led to a dead end. Tonks followed the Bloody Baron through the wall and the Fat Friar followed her. She stepped out into the night air and rain which was an altogether different kind of cold which rushed around her but didn’t soak into her. The rain didn’t hesitate to hammer down against her cloak. She turned to see the two house ghosts floating close to the wall.

“We can come little further than this, child,” said the Fat Friar.

“Thank you,” said Tonks. “Thank you for everything.” She lowered herself once again in a curtsy and rose with slow certainty despite the rain soaked ground. The Bloody Baron bowed and the Fat Friar nodded.

She started to walk away when she heard the Bloody Baron say, “Be safe, child.” She turned back but the ghosts were gone. She looked out across the grounds, a deep darkness sweeping around her where she stood in the castle’s shadow cast by the rising moon, and saw her path. The length of the walk began to make sense when she realised how far around the castle she was but she would be able to walk through the grounds unhindered. Her body ached with tiredness and a coldness that she couldn’t quite shake from the depths of her body. She cast a warming charm but it served only to make the cold feel more prominent against the new warmth that surrounded her.

She slipped twice on the grass and when she got up the second time the air was punctuated by the crack of apparition. He was gone. She stood on the slope, out of the shadows and under the moonlight where the rain clouds had parted, and quietly begged, “Come back.”

Tonks found Dawlish and Proudfoot outside the Hog’s Head Inn huddled under their cloaks waiting for her and Savage.

“You okay?” said Dawlish. “The rain’s been hideous.” He stamped his feet on the ground. “I swear even warming charms aren’t enough when it’s like this.”

“Yeah,” said Tonks. “I slipped a couple of times on the way back.” She took a deep breath and smiled, though Dawlish and Proudfoot saw that the warmth didn’t extend through Tonks like it usually did. “Nothing bad, though.”

“What’s happened, Tonks?” said Proudfoot. She reached out and stroked Tonks’s arm. “You don’t seem yourself.”

“Fine, really,” said Tonks. She shook her head. “Feeling drained, that’s it.” Proudfoot and Dawlish exchanged a glance and Dawlish fumbled around in his robes beneath his cloak and pulled something out.

“Emergency supplies,” said Dawlish, handing her the Chocolate Frog. “Feels like Dementor weather.”

“I think it’s just autumn,” said Tonks, but she felt a gentle warmth nudging at her as she opened the package. She took a bite of the Chocolate Frog and the warmth increased to a wave of cosiness that reminded her of home, the Hufflepuff common room, the bed she had not long ago left. She broke off a couple of pieces and handed them to Dawlish and Proudfoot. “Thank you.” The Aurors ate their chocolate in a comfortable silence while the rain got heavier and hammered on their cloaks in a way that left them feeling bruised. Dawlish and Proudfoot shared a relieved smile when Tonks wasn’t looking.

The door of the Hog’s Head Inn opened and Savage stepped out, a grin on their face. “What’s happened?” said Savage, as Tonks broke off another piece of chocolate and handed it to them. Warmth meandered through Tonks's body.

“Dementor weather,” said Proudfoot.

“What?” said Savage. They ate a piece of the chocolate. “Dementors? Where? Why are you - ”

“Think,” said Dawlish.

“They’ve had sex,” said Tonks, with a sly glance at Savage. “They aren’t thinking.”

“It’s cold and it’s raining,” said Proudfoot. “No Dementors but we feel like crap, and Tonks is right, you’ve got your post-sex grin.”

“Is he still in there?” said Tonks.

“No,” said Savage, too sharply. Their three colleagues barrelled through the door of the Hog’s Head Inn, thinking they might find out who Savage’s man was, to find the bar empty except for a few elderly patrons. “He's still in bed.” Aberforth raised his eyebrows and carried on polishing glasses as Tonks, Dawlish, and Proudfoot straightened up, brushed themselves down, and saw themselves out with mumbled apologies. Savage ate their last piece of chocolate. “Where’s your man, Tonks?”

“Have a good rest,” called Tonks to Dawlish and Proudfoot, as she took Savage by the hand and hauled her laughing friend into the rain soaked lanes of Hogsmeade.

Snape apparated to the lane outside Malfoy Manor. The rain was lighter than it had been around Hogwarts. Beneath his cloak he wasn’t cold but he missed the warmth of the bed, the fire, her. He saw Narcissa standing in the column flanked porch of the Manor with the torches on either side illuminating her. Her grey cloak lifted at the edges with the breeze and ripples ran through the fabric like a fast stream. He walked up the path to the Manor, his Occlumency shields strengthening with each step.

“Severus,” said Narcissa, as Snape stepped onto the porch and out of the rain. He kissed her hand. Her questions didn’t come and her smile tightened. She kissed his cheek and said, “Be careful.” She led the way into the Manor taking off her cloak and handing it to a house-elf. Snape removed his cloak and thanked the house-elf who took it. Narcissa and Snape walked in silence through the Manor.

When he followed her into one of the smaller parlours he recognised the men grouped in the room. The grandfathers of the students who had ambushed Tonks. Violent noises drifted through from elsewhere in the Manor to be cut off by slamming doors. Snape bowed his head briefly and didn’t look away from Voldemort. Voldemort was lounging in another throne like chair, his fingers caressing his wand, his eyes fixed on Snape’s. Bellatrix was leaning against a wall beside Voldemort. Narcissa stood, hands clasped, a couple of feet from her sister.

“An owl was received today,” said Voldemort, as though it amused him, “bearing complaints from Hogwarts.”

“I would have brought Dumbledore with me had I known,” said Snape. Voldemort chuckled, though the sound was more like that of stones being thrown down an empty well. Snape knew the other head’s of house wouldn’t have written home, nor would Dumbledore, not least to protect him. It must have been the students.

“Do you consider it wise to be chastising students so?” said Voldemort. Ah, so no one was dancing around the problem tonight. If there was going to be any torture they wouldn’t be beating around the bush to get there. At that, Snape fell to the ground as a brief pulse of the Cruciatus Curse seared his veins. It was over in a flash and Snape coughed before getting to his feet.

“My wand slipped,” said Mulciber, with a grunt. A quick Crucio between Death Eaters was no different to the way Aurors would shoot Stinging Jinxes at each other. Snape stretched his fingers as the aftershocks bled away.

“They were reckless,” said Snape, forcing his breaths to steady, forcing himself to regain control. “They broke school rules and as both a teacher and your servant I was appalled by their behaviour.” Mulciber shot another Crucio at Snape.

“Enough,” said Voldemort to Mulciber, as Snape got to his feet again, shaking his head. Bellatrix cackled. Snape glanced at the marble floor and saw the touch of blood against the stone. “And their punishments? From all heads of house?”

“At Dumbledore’s request,” said Snape, and he could taste blood in his mouth. He swallowed. “I can’t say I much disagree, if for different reasons.” He shot a glare at Mulciber. “They showed great carelessness and poor spellwork.”

“They have been humiliated,” said Mulciber, his rage bubbling over until he caught sight of Voldemort’s glare and quietened immediately.

“They wouldn’t have been humiliated if they had been more proficient,” said Voldemort. “Are the teaching standards so low?”

“It’s not the education that’s insufficient,” said Snape, “but their desire to learn in favour of Firewhisky and bedding fellow students.” Rosier and Avery may have stiffened, but Mulciber had turned red.

“They are wasting their education?” said Voldemort. “Severus, I wish you to be clear with me when you talk of these indiscretions.”

“Madam Pomfrey has had to sober them up on a nigh on weekly basis,” said Snape. He thought Mulciber might go purple. Rosier and Avery’s grandchildren might be misbehaving but Mulciber’s were running riot. “And last year four students were sent home because of their, ah, condition as a result of relations.” Voldemort’s calm exterior was of no reassurance to Snape’s associates who were fidgeting. “One has been sent home this year.”

“No Slytherins have been sent home?” said Voldemort, his stare fixed on Mulciber.

“No, my Lord,” said Snape. Voldemort nodded. “Though as far as I know, the quartet have ensured all activities were focused on interhouse unity.”

“And which of the students were responsible for those sent home?” said Voldemort.

“In all cases the Mulciber cousins,” said Snape.

“I see,” said Voldemort. Rosier and Avery had stepped away from Mulciber who was sweating profusely. “Which student is the Slytherin?”

“Rosier’s,” said Snape, “and they’re the least trouble of the quartet.” Rosier gave the slightest nod to Snape. “An easily led student who otherwise excels when not with the rest.”

“Wasting education,” said Voldemort, releasing his wand from the caressing hand, “wasting the opportunity of Hogwarts is an astounding show of arrogance.” He rose from his seat. “There is time for such behaviours once they have an education.” He looked at Snape. “Go ahead with your punishments, Severus, and perhaps you could send my regards to the students, too.”

“Yes, my Lord,” said Snape.

“An education is a precious gift,” said Voldemort. “Perhaps I ought to share that gift with some present here.” With a wave of his wand Mulciber’s whimpers were silenced. Voldemort turned back to Snape. “The Auror?”

“Nymphadora Tonks,” said Bellatrix, sauntering over to Voldemort and grimacing. “The disappointment from Andromeda.”

“Yes,” said Voldemort. “I find now I can’t bring myself to be vexed with her, having learned of what she was faced with.” He glanced at Bellatrix whose rage flew with disturbing speed to adoration when she met his gaze. “It must have been child’s play for her.” Bellatrix was like a wind up toy going at the wrong speed the way she fluttered her eyelashes. “There was a black dog with her, I’m told.” He looked at Snape. “What do you know of this?”

“Nothing of a dog was reported to me,” said Snape. “There are strays in Hogsmeade but I’m rarely there to have found them worthy of note.”

“Wormtail tells me that Sirius Black’s Animagus form is that of a black dog,” said Voldemort, watching Snape for a reaction.

“Vermin is likely to be better acquainted with strays than the rest of us,” said Snape. Voldemort’s mouth split into a smile and even Bellatrix laughed.

“Then be aware that all black dogs are to be killed on sight,” said Voldemort.

“Yes, my Lord,” said Snape.

“Do you wish to enjoy the night’s entertainment?” said Voldemort, gesturing to a doorway on the other side of the room.

“Alas, a school night, my Lord,” said Snape.

“Indeed,” said Voldemort. And with that, Voldemort waved his hand in dismissal at Snape.

“My Lord,” said Snape, with a small bow, and he turned to leave. Narcissa followed him out of the room as Voldemort, with Bellatrix at his side, began to unleash his frustrations on Mulciber, Avery, and Rosier.

A house-elf was waiting with Narcissa and Snape’s cloaks. With thanks given, they put on their cloaks and Narcissa walked out to the porch with Snape. The front door closed behind them. Narcissa looked up, eyes closed, and gasped. Arms crossed, Snape watched her breathing settle into deep breaths, the thin cloak doing little to disguise the way her body moved, desperate to inhale clean cool air. She reached out and Snape took her hand. She grasped his hand, he knew, as hard as she could, though it didn’t hurt him in the slightest. She lowered her head, opened her eyes, and let go of his hand.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her usual composure settling back into place. “I - please - tell me Draco isn’t being careless.”

“In what regard?” said Snape, with a quiet amusement he and Narcissa hadn’t been able to share in long months. She looked at him, the hint of a smile on her lips, as he touched his forehead cautiously and came away with traces of blood on his fingers. He took out his wand and cast simple healing charms.

“I am glad he has you for a godfather,” said Narcissa.

“Quite,” said Snape. “Merlin forbid I be careless.” Narcissa’s smile edged towards the memory of a smirk.

“If you are to keep his confidences, I suspect you cannot tell me anything of his acquaintances,” she said, another deep breath taking her back fully to her usual calm exterior.

“He talks,” said Snape. “If that is of any comfort.”

“More than you know,” said Narcissa.

Sirius stumbled out of the Floo in the kitchen of the Tonks house and held his arms out in delight when he saw Andromeda and Ted.

“She’s had sex with the tall dark handsome man,” said Sirius, grinning as he sauntered over to the table and flung himself down on a chair.

“So have you by the look of it,” said Andromeda, before turning to Ted. “I told you we should have closed the curtains.” Sirius barked a laugh.

“Tonks has had sex and I found out before you did,” said Sirius.

“How?” said Andromeda, her eyes narrowing.

“She came by Grimmauld Place this morning to say thanks for last night,” said Sirius.

“Oh?” said Andromeda, putting down her cup of tea.

“Hogsmeade,” said Sirius, dismissively, “Andromeda, she’s had sex with the tall dark handsome man!”

“This morning?” said Andromeda.

“Yesterday, probably,” said Sirius, “given her shifts, she had her extra twelve on Saturday night.” Sirius picked up a biscuit from the plate on the table. “She’s probably been in bed all weekend.”

“And it’s taken you this long?” said Andromeda. “Whatever stopped your gloating?”

“She asked Remus to keep me distracted,” said Sirius.

“Then you fell asleep,” said Andromeda, rolling her eyes, as Sirius coughed and Ted laughed.

“Remus didn’t want to let Tonks down,” said Sirius.

“Is that so?” said Andromeda.

“Andromeda,” said Sirius, leaning across the table, “you have to tell me who her man is.”

There was a knock at the kitchen door which led to the garden. Andromeda shot Ted a glance. She opened the door to find Snape, hood up and covered by his cloak, standing in the rain. Sirius’s grin disappeared. He ate the last of his biscuit and leant back in his chair, arms crossed.

“Severus,” said Andromeda, “skip your protests and come in.” Sirius huffed as Snape stepped into the kitchen, rain streaming off his cloak onto the floor. Andromeda lowered Snape’s hood and he flinched at her sigh of concern when she saw where he had hit the floor. Without asking, she raised her wand to his face, finishing the healing and cleaning of the small abrasions which he hadn’t managed before he apparated. Sirius watched, trying not to show his surprise at Andromeda’s tenderness towards Snape. “A drink?” Snape shook his head.

“I mean only to visit briefly,” said Snape.

“What happened last night in Hogsmeade?” said Andromeda.

“You converse with the Dark Lord, don’t you?” said Snape. Andromeda merely smiled. “Four students under poorly done Disillusionment Charms tried to ambush Tonks.” Sirius grabbed another biscuit and looked at the table. “They made a great number of comments before she dealt with them.” He looked at Sirius. “And she was noted to have a black dog with her.”

“I was out and about,” said Sirius, “happened to run into her.” Andromeda fixed him with her stare and he forced himself to look at Snape. “How do you even know?”

“Grandchildren and children of Death Eaters,” said Snape. “The Mulciber cousins wrote home.” Sirius swallowed the last of the biscuit and grabbed Andromeda’s cup of tea to quell his coughing. “The Dark Lord knows it was you, Black. Orders are to kill all black dogs on sight.”

“How does he even - Wormtail,” said Sirius, smacking his hand on the table so that the crockery clinked.

“Vermin are a nuisance,” said Snape.

“And?” said Andromeda.

“The Dark Lord was not overly concerned about Tonks,” said Snape, “this time.”

“Severus,” said Andromeda.

“He was convinced to be more concerned by the students' lack of proficiency due to their proclivities for alcohol and sex,” said Snape, “and their disregard for the privilege of a Hogwarts education.”

“How bad are they?” said Sirius, his curiosity getting the better of him. Ted was frowning.

“They lack capacity to balance studies and extracurricular activities," said Snape. "They’ve only potential for a handful of N.E.W.T.s between them, they’re making regular trips to the hospital wing to sober up and,” he rubbed the place where his face had met marble, “several students have been sent home due to their other activities.”

“No Slytherins, surely?” said Andromeda.

“Sent home?” said Snape. “Of course not.”

“Forget the Death Eater scum,” said Sirius.

“You wound me, Black,” said Snape.

“Is Tonks in Danger?” said Sirius. Snape shrugged.

“No more than usual,” said Snape, “she’s always incited ire by way of her family connections and powers.”

“The Bellatrix trick?” said Sirius, slamming his hand over his mouth, the swear words filtering through between his fingers.

“What?” said Andromeda.

“Even I’ve avoided telling her that,” said Snape, shooting a glance at Sirius. “It is what you think it is, Andromeda.”

“Oh, Nymphadora,” said Andromeda. Ted had got up from the table and stood behind Andromeda. There was a rustle of fabric and then his arms were around her, her hands on his. “Sirius, go let your werewolf keep you safe.” She glanced at Snape. “You I want to speak with further.” Sirius leapt from the table with an apologetic smile and was through the Floo moments later. “You’ve had sex with my daughter and kept from me that she’s been metamorphosing into my sister who wants to kill her as it is?” Ted rested his forehead on Andromeda’s shoulder but Snape had caught his fond smile.

“Is her Bellatrix trick really a surprise to you?” said Snape.

“No,” said Andromeda. “No more so than her being in your bed.”

“She’s in Hogsmeade just now,” said Snape.

“Quite,” said Andromeda.

“When she left this evening she summoned the Bloody Baron and he took her through the hidden passageways for the second time,” said Snape. “Not only did she curtsy to him, he bowed.”

“You’re not concerned by our approval?” said Andromeda.

“I’m still alive and I’ve been here quite long enough,” said Snape, “should I have expected something more subtle?” Ted laughed and Andromeda’s mouth twisted.

“Hufflepuffs are good at finding ways into a Slytherin’s heart,” said Ted, before kissing Andromeda’s shoulder.

“And bed,” said Andromeda. Ted coughed and Snape smirked. Andromeda sniffed. “I was showing initiative.”

“The Fat Friar is quite as taken with her,” said Snape.

“And you?” said Andromeda.

“Must leave,” said Snape.

“The Bloody Baron doesn’t favour just anyone,” said Andromeda.

“No, but he’s been sure to comment on her breeding,” said Snape.

“Severus?” said Andromeda.

“Yes?” said Snape.

“She knows being with you means finding a path others couldn’t begin to comprehend,” said Andromeda.

“She considers that there may be a path even after the war,” said Snape, rubbing his face again.

“You may even see that, too,” said Andromeda. “Now, away with you while Ted still has my wand.” Ted laughed and kissed her shoulder again. Snape smiled but didn’t hesitate in leaving the kitchen and stepping back out into the rain. Andromeda and Ted heard the crack of apparition a moment later.

“Do you think Dora knows how difficult that path may be?” said Ted.

“She has an idea,” said Andromeda, staring at the closed door.

“She isn’t going to be swayed, is she,” said Ted.

“You know she won’t,” said Andromeda, turning in Ted’s arms. He stroked her face and her eyes shone. “You weren’t.”

“You were the one who crept into my bed,” said Ted, tricking a laugh from Andromeda.

Snape apparated to Hogsmeade and stumbled when he landed. At the Tonks’s home he had been able to keep the twitching hidden beneath his cloak. It would pass. Even the briefest Cruciatus Curse took a couple of hours to wear off. He heard running footsteps and he walked towards the trees to lean against one and perhaps go unnoticed. He saw the glow around himself from a silent Homenum Revelio.

“That’s cheating,” he said, as the footsteps came closer.

“Severus,” whispered Tonks. She slipped her hands beneath his cloak and Death Eater robes and around his body. Rain filtered through the trees and the drops were heavier upon them as she kissed him. She felt his hesitation. “Severus?” Her lips brushed his and rain fell from the edges of their cloaks and trailed down their skin. In answer he pushed her cloak further so he could put his arms around her. Through the layers of clothes and the cold, it was a moment before she felt the slight tremor in his hold and occasional twitch in his fingers. By all accounts she knew he couldn’t have been subject to Crucio for long. She groaned and pressed her lips to his. She deepened the kiss but he pulled away. It was taking all his concentration to stay upright. She pressed her lips to his jaw and his neck. His hands grasped her robes more tightly. “I can be with you by morning and for the afternoon.” She moved her hands with gentle ease down towards his belt. “Even if just for a couple of hours.”

“Stay at the Hog’s Head Inn,” said Snape.

“What if I say no?” said Tonks.

“Does Moody know how often you’re abandoning the Hog’s Head?”

“I’m a good Auror,” she said. “I come when called.” He laughed and she kissed his neck. “I’m not far away.”

“It is a greater punishment than the Dark Lord can inflict to know you’re in my bed when I have to teach,” he said. “The weekend, however.”

“I’ll be there,” she said. “But you’re struggling now.”

“I will rest and be fine,” he said. “I have survived both your parents and the Dark Lord tonight.”

“Mum didn’t Crucio you, did she?”

“Ted had her wand.”

“Dad approves of you then,” she said, with a small laugh.

“Go,” said Snape. “I have kept you from your patrol for too long.” She kissed him again and unwillingly took her arms from around him. She stepped back.

“You’ll rest?” she said. “And take potions?”

“I will be a well behaved Death Eater, I assure you,” he said.

“Severus?”

“Yes?”

The words wouldn't come. Rain pelted off trees, the ground, their cloaks. The moonlight was just enough to see each other by. She ran back and her hands on his face, she kissed him again. Walking away, she could taste the trace of blood on her lips. She couldn’t bring herself to look back. When her footsteps had disappeared, he started to walk away. The edges of her touch were still on him and he clung to her warmth as he made his way back to the castle. In his quarters he collapsed on the bed in front of the blazing fire without taking his cloak off and fell into a fitful sleep. When he woke, the tremors and twitching had stopped but the pain came in remembering that he wouldn’t be waking up next to her for days.


	18. Chapter 18

Tonks watched the rainwater form miniature rivers along the street as she walked back to where Savage was waiting for her. The torchlight created mottled orange orbs glowing on the water which shattered each time she stepped through them. Savage held out their hand and Tonks took their hand in hers, cold fingers intertwining.

“Crucio,” said Tonks, her voice thick. She sniffed and shook her head. They headed up towards the high street and Savage pulled Tonks out of the way of a particularly deep puddle. “It can’t have been more than a moment and, oh Merlin, I didn’t even ask why, he was shaking and I didn’t - ”

“He’s a Death Eater, Tonks,” said Savage, quietly, glancing at Tonks. “I think that’s your why.”

“He said dad had mum’s wand,” said Tonks, trying to laugh. “So it must have been Voldemort.”

“Your parents know you’re having sex with him, then?” said Savage.

“Not with Voldemort,” said Tonks, a real laugh sweeping through her. “No.”

“Too old,” said Savage, with a comfortable chuckle. 

“Yes,” said Tonks, “the age difference was just too much.” Tonks skipped over a puddle and still managed to plunge her foot into another puddle that she hadn’t seen. Savage burst out laughing while Tonks cast a drying charm. “Sirius will have told mum.” She wiggled her toes. Drying charm or not, the November night was not to be deterred. Tonks cast warming charms over herself and Savage.

“You have a very talkative guard dog,” said Savage, pausing to huddle beside Tonks and enjoy the warmth of both charms combined. 

“I went to Grimmauld Place to thank him for Hogsmeade and he guessed,” said Tonks. “I tried to distract him, and well, made it worse.” Tonks nodded towards the high street and the two Aurors started walking again and fell into step. “I could have given him any name and instead I showed him my Bellatrix trick.”

“You didn’t,” said Savage, stopping to grab Tonks’s arm. “Oh Merlin, you did.” Savage started walking again. “Your mother will find out, you know that?”

“I was going to see mum and dad after patrol,” said Tonks, with an attempt at bravery which was squelched as quickly as the fallen leaves beneath her boots. “Want to come with me?”

“Do you hate me?” said Savage. Tonks elbowed Savage and Savage shot a Stinging Jinx at Tonks. “No, I plan to remain alive, unaccused, and in bed with a certain someone.” They were passing by the Three Broomsticks when four people came stumbling out of the inn. Two of them were clutching each other in an attempt to remain upright.

“Charlie?” said Tonks. 

“Hey!” said Charlie Weasley, jogging over to Tonks and Savage. He swept Tonks up in a hug. “How’s my favourite Hufflepuff?”

“You’re back?” said Tonks, returning the hug and stepping back to see Charlie had acquired a number of new burns and scars to his face.

“Working on conservation of Common Welsh Greens in Wales,” said Charlie, “just up here for a night out with Fred and George.”

“What did Bill do to you?” said Savage. “Aren’t you a bit old for pretending he’s invisible?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Charlie, as if seeing Savage for the first time. “Hi Savage.” He and Savage shared a brief hug. “Bill kept talking about proposing to Fleur and, well, the more nervous he got the more Firewhisky he drank.” He turned and gestured to Bill and George who were propping each other up. 

“Hurry up,” called Fred. “Or we’ll have to levitate them home.”

“George getting married, too?” said Savage, before they and Tonks waved and called out hellos to the rest of the Weasleys. Fred waved back and something that could be considered speech came from George and Bill.

“Nah,” said Charlie, “but Bill paid the tab and George wasn’t going to let the opportunity be wasted.”

“Oh, I think they’re properly wasted,” said Savage, peering past Charlie again. “Need help getting them home?”

“We’re good, thanks,” said Charlie. “Great seeing you both.” He smiled, then turned and jogged back to his brothers. Savage and Tonks walked past the Weasleys and shared stifled laughs as Charlie tried to convince Bill to hold onto him so he could apparate them home and Fred gave up fighting George and joined him in singing old odes.

“Your guy isn’t a Death Eater, too, is he?” said Tonks, after they heard the two cracks of apparition and the ceasing of drunk singing. Savage snorted.

“No,” said Savage. They rubbed their face and glanced back down the street. “You seeing yours after patrol?”

“I am to wait until the weekend," said Tonks. She kicked a pile of wet leaves, sending leaves and water across the street and over herself. “I’m too much of a distraction while he’s teaching, and he mentioned something about Voldemort.”

“I didn’t take him for the sharing kind,” said Savage, their mouth contorted in a badly suppressed grin. Tonks laughed and shot her friend a glance.

“No,” said Tonks, softly, “no, I’m all his.”

Tonks stood, arms wrapped around herself beneath her cloak, in her parents’ garden. The garden was illuminated by the barest touch of dawn through the rain clouds, though remnants of the night still lingered. The occasional nocturnal bird still chattered from the hedges. Spiders ran around their webs even as the dew collected on the silk strands. Cygnus and Druella were on the pond, side by side, and apparently asleep. Tonks had known the swans since she was a toddler and still didn’t trust them. Alphard and the other ducks were likely on the other side of the pond.

Tonks pulled down her hood and opened the door to the kitchen. She found the fire roaring with her father sitting in his pyjamas in a nearby chair. There were three mugs on the table with steam curling above them. Ted looked up and smiled. Tonks gave him a hug before sitting down.

“The wards?” said Tonks. Ted nodded.

“Your mother will be down in a minute,” he said.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” said Tonks, “I just, I wasn’t thinking.”

“Hush,” said Ted, “we’re usually up by now anyway.” He nudged one of the mugs towards Tonks. “We were late last night because of Walburga.”

“There’s something wrong with that chicken,” said Tonks, wrapping her hands around the mug. Ted chuckled and picked up his own mug.

“What brings you home?” said Ted. 

“Which is the safest answer?” said Tonks.

“Sirius told your mother and I about Hogsmeade,” said Ted, “and your mother told me days ago about Halloween.”

“Sirius didn’t mention anything else, did he?” said Tonks.

“Oh, there was some mention about Bellatrix and your man,” said Ted.

“How’s mum?” said Tonks.

“Concerned about you,” said Ted. “She isn’t angry.” Tonks looked at her father in disbelief. “Well, she isn’t now.” Ted reached out and Tonks took his hand. “That Bellatrix trick terrified her, Dora.”

“What about Severus?” said Tonks.

“Yes, how is Severus?” said Andromeda, coming into the kitchen and giving Tonks a hug and kiss before sitting down.

“Morning, mum,” said Tonks. She let go of Ted’s hand and her mug, and rubbed her eyes before looking at her mother. “Are you really okay with me and him?” Andromeda sighed and glanced at Ted.

“You don’t need our permission or blessing,” said Ted. Tonks stared at her mug and ran her fingers over the uneven handle. “It won’t make the difficult parts any easier.”

“He was put under Crucio last night,” said Tonks. Andromeda and Ted looked at each other. They'd guessed that was the cause of Snape's injuries. 

“He knows the risks, darling,” said Andromeda. She took a deep breath and stroked Tonks’s cheek. “He would have been there regardless of you.” Tonks looked up, her eyes shining like the sea at night. “You have to understand that he’s under Vows, that he’s branded and bound in ways you can’t imagine.”

“You know?” said Tonks. Andromeda smiled and patted Tonks’s cheek. 

“I know not to ask him for promises,” said Andromeda. Tonks huffed and looked to her father for support.

“Would it help to know that he wasn’t involved in what happened to your uncle?” said Ted. “Or that he doesn’t know anything about what happened to Regulus?”

“Which is a mystery even within the Death Eater ranks,” murmured Andromeda.

“And you believe him?” said Tonks.

“Even without Veritaserum,” said Ted.

“Oh, Merlin,” said Tonks. “Mum, you didn’t tell dad - you didn’t tell him everything?”

“You did what you thought you had to, Dora,” said Ted. Tonks groaned and pulled the hood of her cloak over her head and put her head on the table. Tonks shot her mother a glance from beneath her hood.

“Remus is happy,” said Tonks, slouching back in her chair. Andromeda coughed and Tonks sighed but sat up straighter nonetheless. Andromeda stroked Tonks’s cheek again, and Tonks’s dark hair tumbled past Andromeda’s hand.

“And you?” said Ted. Tonks nodded. Her body felt heavy with sleep. Lifting the mug of tea to her lips shouldn’t have been so tiring.

“Be there for him,” said Andromeda. She pushed some of Tonks’s hair behind her ear. “You don’t need to do or be anything else, and he doesn’t want you to, either.” Tonks stared at the fire and her parents watched the glow in her dark eyes.

“Did Severus mention anything about Sirius to you?” said Ted. Tonks frowned and looked at her father. It felt like days rather than hours since she had seen Snape and Sirius. She shook her head. “Nip over to Grimmauld Place.” Tonks took another sip of tea. “He needs to see you.”

“Be back in a minute, then,” said Tonks, getting up from the table and losing her balance for a fraction of a second. She grabbed the chair and shook her head. “Then sleep.”

Tonks fell out of the fireplace in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place and found the room empty. She rubbed her eyes and went up the stairs to look in the parlour and library. She found Sirius and Remus on a sofa in front of the fire. Sirius staring at the thick flames licking the brickwork and Remus ignoring a book in his lap as he stroked Sirius’s hair. They looked up when she walked into the parlour, her boots on the floorboards announcing her arrival.

“Hello,” said Remus, as Sirius mumbled a greeting. Sirius had dark circles under his eyes and his smile was weighted with tiredness.

“Sirius?” said Tonks, yawning. She rubbed her face. She was determined not to fall on the floor. There had been no attacks the night before, yet patrolling around Hogsmeade for twelve hours in the dark and cold had nonetheless drained her of what energy she had. “Dad said you needed to see me.” Sirius held out his hand and Tonks walked over to the sofa. She took his hand and he budged up closer to Remus before pulling her down beside him.

“It’s nothing,” said Sirius, trying to rearrange his mind into coherency.

“I know you told them about the Bellatrix trick,” said Tonks. 

“Snape said even he hadn’t told your mother about that,” said Sirius, and he barked a mirthless laugh when Tonks tensed, “he turned up while I was there.”

“What are you meant to tell me, then?” said Tonks. Sirius was warm and comfortable and Tonks leant against him though she could feel a hesitation in his embrace.

“Snape also said orders are to kill all black dogs on sight,” said Sirius. Tonks turned, scrabbling around on the sofa to face Sirius. He was smiling sadly and when she flung her arms around him, he held on with the quiet hope that he might be able to not let her go.

“You can’t come out anymore,” said Tonks, her tiredness giving way to tears as her voice caught. “I can’t lose you again.” Remus eased himself up from the sofa. “You have to behave.”

“I know,” said Sirius, his own voice catching. He tried to hold her closer. “I just don’t want to.” The echoes of Sirius’s escape from Azkaban were still too close, the grasps on each other too easily remembered from the first time they had laid hands on each other after twelve years apart. Remus watched them from the doorway, remembering with searing pain what it had been like to hold Sirius in the Shrieking Shack after Azkaban. To know the truth. To have him back. To know he wasn't dreaming. He remembered watching Sirius and Tonks tumbling into a heap of tears and desperate hugs in the hallway of Grimmauld Place. Tonks hadn’t hesitated.

Remus went to the kitchen to make tea, wiping his face with a handkerchief on the way. Sirius wanted to protect Tonks. Sirius had spent the night cursing every Death Eater he could name while he hurled bits of his childhood into the fire, things which had escaped previous cleanings of Grimmauld Place. He would relax at Remus’s touch and look for Remus’s gentle kiss and resign himself to being stuck in Grimmauld Place again unable to protect Tonks before the cycle repeated itself. It had been a long night. Tea. Remus could make tea.

When Remus returned to the parlour with a tray of mugs and a plate of biscuits, the heir to the ancient and noble house was outstretched on the sofa snoring gently with his arm around Tonks who was lying beside him, her head on his chest, and sound asleep. Tonks’s hair brushed Sirius’s face and his black curls mixed with her black waves. Perhaps it was the firelight. Remus squinted. There was still a warmth in her darkness. She wasn’t retreating to her mother, and there was no warmth in Bellatrix. Tonks was comfortable with this darkness. The warmth was entirely hers. Sirius had told Remus that Tonks’s man was the same one who gave her the Veritaserum. She hadn’t tensed at the mention of Bellatrix, she had tensed at the mention of - 

Remus swore. The mugs of tea wobbled on the levitating tray as his focus abandoned him. He grabbed the tray and walked back to the kitchen. Andromeda was sitting at the table.

“Remus,” she said, smiling. He put the tray down on the table and gestured for Andromeda to follow him. They both stood in the doorway to the parlour and Remus watched Andromeda’s features soften as she sighed, though he could see the pain underneath, too. He followed her back to the kitchen and sat down at the table opposite her.

“Tea?” he said, picking up a mug and pushing the tray towards her.

“I don’t think I was the intended recipient,” she said. “We were wondering how Nymphadora was taking the news.”

“Sirius was up most of the night,” said Remus. “Whatever reserves have kept him going went when he told Tonks about the order to kill all black dogs.”

“She needed to hear it from him,” said Andromeda, with an apologetic smile. “You’ll leave her be?”

“I’ll make sure she’s up by sunset,” said Remus, “though I imagine she might be up before then thanks to Sirius’s snoring.” Andromeda smirked. Remus glanced at the doorway. Perhaps the only person who could handle a Death Eater was one that came from a family full of them and was dedicated to fighting them. “It’s Severus, isn’t it?” Andromeda looked at Remus with amused curiosity. “Tonks’s man?”

“You know, I think Sirius could walk in on the two of them and he still wouldn’t believe it,” said Andromeda. “She still loves you.” Remus crossed his arms and stared at his cup of tea. “And she wants her friend back.” 

“She will always have my friendship,” said Remus.

“She is going to need it,” said Andromeda. “Severus doesn’t expect to survive any of this.”

“Why did he give her the Veritaserum?” said Remus, looking up at Andromeda. He took a sip of the tea.

“All I know is that he gave her the Veritaserum,” said Andromeda. “The sex part was all her and only her.”

“I hate that I’m glad I know that,” said Remus, groaning. He smiled when Andromeda laughed. “Oh Merlin, what a mess.”

“Neither of you knew Sirius was going to come back,” said Andromeda. “Nymphadora needed to do the right thing." She twirled her wand, cleaning small parts of the kitchen. "She would have found a way regardless, in the end.”

“And Severus decided to help her?” said Remus.

“She would never have asked for the Veritaserum,” said Andromeda, “which may be why he gave it freely.” Mugs rearranged themselves on a shelf. “This is war.” A cloud of dust was chased from above a cabinet. “And Severus knows what war does to people.”

“Death Eater,” said Remus. Andromeda nodded. “And she’s happy with him?”

“You already know the answer to that,” said Andromeda. “She is the only one who has his loyalty without a Vow or a brand or a bond in sight.”

“He’s loyal to you,” said Remus. Andromeda smirked.

“Gryffindors are adorable,” said Andromeda.

“I won’t tell Sirius,” said Remus.

“I would keep Severus a secret, too,” said Andromeda. Remus laughed. “For everyone’s sake, I think.”

Tonks and Sirius spent the week napping together at Grimmauld Place and the Tonks cottage whenever there was a moment she hadn’t collapsed into her bed at the Hog’s Head Inn. Sirius threw less things in the fire at Grimmauld Place and Tonks cried less. If Remus was nearby, he would be pulled into the huddle. Andromeda found herself pulled in on occasion, too. Ted would make cups of tea for himself and Remus while the cousins tried not to let the war do what it kept threatening to.

When Sirius and Tonks woke up on Friday afternoon because Walburga was chasing Alphard through the Tonks cottage, Sirius slung his arm around Tonks and kissed her hair. He yawned and Tonks found herself yawning, too. Remus looked up from the book he was reading and smiled.

“Your tall dark handsome man must be wondering where you’ve been all week,” said Sirius. 

“Apparently I’m too much of a distraction during the week,” said Tonks. Remus coughed and she shot him a confused glance. He shook his head and held up his book by way of explanation. “But at the weekend I’m all his.”

“Remus will have to keep me occupied, then,” said Sirius. “Sorry, Moony.”

“It will be a terrible burden,” said Remus. “You’ll save me on Monday, Tonks?”

“I’ll do what I can,” said Tonks. She kissed Sirius on the cheek and they both got up from the sofa. Sirius wandered through to the kitchen and Remus got up from his chair. “Remus?”

“Yes?” said Remus. Tonks closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him. 

“Friends?” said Tonks, looking at him with a cautious gaze.

“Always,” said Remus, and he kissed her cheek. “So, do you have a thing for DADA Professors, then?” Tonks groaned and Remus chuckled.

“How?” said Tonks.

“An educated guess which Andromeda confirmed.” 

“You won’t tell Sirius?” said Tonks.

“No,” said Remus, “no, it’s not my place to.”

“Thank you,” said Tonks, kissing him on the cheek.

Tonks kept glancing up at the clear night's sky, her breath turning to mist in front of her, and the promise of winter in the air kissing her nose and cheeks as she huffed in frustration at the stubborn crossing of the stars and planets. When Savage finally said it was time to go back to the Hog’s Head Inn for the change of shifts, Tonks grabbed Savage’s hand and they ran all the way. Savage couldn’t contain their laughter and neither could Dawlish and Moody when they realised Tonks was desperate to see her man. After short goodbyes, she started to run again.

Under a Disillusionment Charm, Tonks stopped outside the castle long enough to Scourgify her boots to cover her footsteps indoors, then pushed the great doors open and found the entrance hall empty. The silence of the looming hall felt unnatural but she slipped inside the castle and walked with careful steps across the stone floor. Her care started to falter the closer she got to where she wanted to be. She ran down corridors and anyone watching would have thought a gale to be blowing through the castle with her footsteps against on the stone and her flowing cloak causing the air to surge in currents around her.

She slammed against the door when she stopped. Her hand grasping the handle as she whispered the password. She bolted inside Snape’s quarters, lifting the Disillusionment Charm as she ran through the rooms to find him propped up in bed, with a bleary expression that drifted between amusement and concern.

He sat up as she climbed onto the bed, straddling him over the blankets, dragging her wet cloak and theoretically clean boots over the bed. Her hands were cold with the edges of winter and he hissed when she put them on his face. She cut off his protests with a kiss. He deepened the kiss and pulled her closer. His fingers made quick work of her cloak and robes, slipping them off her shoulders, down her arms, and onto the floor. She conceded to breaking the kiss so that he could pull her top off. He undid her bra, taking it off and throwing it to the floor before moving her so she lay on her back beneath him. She kicked off her boots and he stood up to pull off her trousers and take off his own. She sat up and grabbed his arms before lying back down, bringing him closer without delay. She wrapped her legs around his body and her arms around his neck. Her hands on his shoulders, fingers pressing into his muscles. With one hand he grabbed her thigh and brought himself closer to her. With his other hand, he reached for her face and stroked her cheek.

“Missed me?” he said. Her eyes narrowed and her smirk promised an answer when she was ready. She tightened her legs around him. He kissed her and she deepened the kiss before her piercing moan was against his mouth as he closed the distance. 

Her hips under his grasp, kisses stolen between breaths gasped, her fingertips digging into his scarred skin. The cold that lingered around the edges of her body through the week disappeared as the flames burned lower in the fireplace and she gave in to the days long desperation to surrender to him. Her surrender guiding him by each change in the sounds falling from her lips. Each change in the pressure of her fingertips, the arch of her back, the tension in her legs. She wanted him. She wanted this sanctuary.

They lay across the bed, the blankets tangled around them, pillows pulled down to rest their heads on. Tonks had barely moved and was content to do little more than roll onto her side to face him. He pulled the edge of the blanket over her shoulder. Her head rested more on his outstretched arm than the pillow, her hands rested on his body. His free hand was on her abdomen, fingers tracing patterns on her skin. Her leg was over his.

“I did miss you,” said Tonks, her hand trailing down his body, her fingertips slowing as they moved over each scar. “I didn’t realise how difficult it would be.”

“Patrolling didn’t exhaust you?” said Snape. He pressed his lips to her forehead and she breathed a content sigh.

She and Savage still collapsed into bed, often together, too often without even taking their boots off. But as the night went on, he would be in her dreams, and when she woke it was with the quiet pain that he wasn’t the one she was sharing her bed with.

Her hand moved lower and she felt him stir at her touch. She kissed him and smiled at his quiet moan. With her free hand, she propped herself up. Her leg moved further over his and he sank back onto the bed. She straddled him, still not releasing him. Her gaze was determined. His hands moved across her thighs and traced her calves. She moved her hips and his hands moved up her legs to her waist. Her smirk returned, albeit more tired, as she hesitated above him. He laughed and the sound brought her forward, her lips desperate to taste the happiness on his. She guided his hand from her waist further down as she lowered her hips. “I am exhausted,” she murmured, before whimpering. “But I want to be exhausted from you, not patrolling.”

They moved to a slower rhythm, each movement more gentle, each sound from her still ecstatic but softer. Lips by his ear, she whispered. His hold was firm and hers gentle as he turned them so she was on her back. She moaned in relief, her muscles tired and heavy, but still needing him. What she was too tired to tell him with muscles that already ached beyond what she thought possible, she said, her lips brushing his. When she came, she was as sated as before. Her bliss was simply quieter. She brought her lips back to his and deepened the kiss, the last of her energy going into the grasp of her hands on his back until he came. Her eyes were closed as he moved from above her. She turned to his embrace, her lips finding his again before her head rested on his shoulder.

“Definitely exhausted,” she mumbled.

“Sleep,” he said, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“Severus, I - I,” she said, but her words gave way to a sigh, and sleep had taken her. He pulled the blankets over them and used a summoning charm to bring more blankets onto the bed. He held her close and traced patterns on her skin until he fell asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

When Tonks opened her eyes, she saw a large potions tome propped up on pillows in front of her. Snape reached over her and turned a page. He lay behind her and her head lay on both his arm and a pillow. She turned her head to press her lips to his arm. He flipped another page over then brought his hand back to her abdomen.

“Sleep well?” he said. He kissed her neck as she stretched. He held her closer as she relaxed back against him.

“Better than you,” she said.

“I had all of last night,” he said, “you’ve had but a few hours.”

“I’ve been thrilling company I take it,” she said. She rubbed her eyes, then reached out to touch the pages of the potions tome. She kept making herself blink in an attempt to wake up more fully. She squinted and made out the old text and delicate illustrations on the aged paper.

“This is my third book,” he said. He trailed kisses down her neck and along her shoulder. His hand moved towards her hip and down her thigh. She tried to stifle a yawn.

“I do remember some things from earlier,” she said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, lips brushing her shoulder as she laughed. She found his hand and brought it up towards her chest as she turned to lie on her back and saw one side of his mouth pulled up in a smile.

“Three books?” she said, eyebrows raised, watching him school his expression.

“Research,” he said. She pushed him onto his back and straddled him. Her eyes narrowed as his hands settled on her thighs. She crossed her arms and watched his inscrutable expression. Both of their smiles were gone. “Why do you persist in thinking this will win arguments?”

“You were doing research for Voldemort whilst I was sleeping?” she said, as he reached for her hips. She allowed him to guide her forwards. Her expression didn’t soften.

“Death Eater,” he said. She closed her eyes and he watched her chest rise and fall with a deliberate rhythm of inhalation and exhalation. He lifted her arms from around her and she opened her eyes. She leaned lower until she was lying atop him. She reached for his left arm and pressed her lips to his Dark Mark, again and again, until his bare wrist was beneath her lips and his fingers stroked her face.

“Severus,” she said, with a quiet sigh. He stroked her back while she rose and brought her lips to his. A safe place. “Severus.” He deepened the kiss and held her close. His hands drifting up her back left sparks in their wake as his hands moved to her head, fingers through her hair, the black waves crashing around them as she held herself above him. They broke apart and she rested her forehead against his. She gulped. “Would - would you join me for a bath?” At the soft rumble of his laughter, she kissed him again, she wanted to know his happiness in any way she could.

He swept her hair back and twisted it gently a number of times before giving it the suggestion that it might lie along her back rather than tumble over her shoulders. “If you will forgive me a few minutes,” he said, “then yes.”

“To do what?” she said. Her body tensed. “Never mind.” She shook her head, climbed off him and walked to the bathroom without looking back. He watched her hair tumble loose of the twists and cascade down her back. The bathroom door opened and closed. He lay back on the bed, rubbed his face, and turned to look at the potions tome still lying on the bed. He got up, pulled on trousers and a shirt, and grabbed the book on his way to his lab.

Tonks closed the bathroom door and let out the cry she’d been holding back. The choked sob fell from her lips and she brought her hand to her mouth. She sniffed and went to the bathtub. She turned the taps until she was content with the temperature of the water. She glanced at the door before going over to the large cabinet on the other side of the bathroom. She opened the doors and saw the shelves packed with vials. Plenty of innocuous potions to ease pain and muscles. Potions to heal. Potions to revive. Potions which were antidotes. Potions specific to easing curses few but Aurors and Death Eaters would know of. And yet she found she couldn’t stop a smile from touching her lips when she saw Invigoration Draught tucked away in one corner. She took two vials from the cabinet before closing the doors. One to ease muscles, the other to ease tiredness. A short-lived fix but she couldn’t bring herself to mind. Severus though, she rubbed her finger across the seal on one of the vials, she didn’t want him to be short-lived. She swore as another cry escaped her. She wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand. She poured the contents of the two vials into the bathtub and turned off the taps. She placed the empty vials on a shelf near the sink and returned to the bathtub. She lowered herself into the hot water and a whimper escaped her but she didn’t get out. She continued to ease herself in and lay back against the smooth stone. She stared up at the ceiling then closed her eyes. The spirals of potions diffused around her. His potions, his magic, surrounding her.

The water had started to lose its hot edge and Tonks opened her eyes. She was still alone. She ducked under the water twice, her hands running over her hair when she came back up. She climbed out of the bathtub and took a towel from a shelf. Drying charms had their uses and were known for their harshness. She towelled herself off as best she could and left the towel over the back of a chair.

Tonks walked through Snape’s quarters and found him in his lab. He glanced up when he heard the door handle turn.

“A few minutes?” she said. He was standing at a bench in front of a cauldron, stirring a potion. The flame burned low beneath it and the book from the bed was laid open on the bench. She came up behind him and slipped her hands beneath his shirt. She kissed his neck where the collar of his shirt would have touched him had he done it up.

“You are naked in a potions lab,” he said. She rested her forehead against his shoulder. He pointed across the lab to where there were simple robes hanging on the wall. She walked away, and a smirk flitted across his lips as he watched her cross the room and pull on one of the robes. She caught him watching when she turned. She walked back, her eyes fixed on the floor, and stood beside him. She glanced at him from beneath her lashes before looking at the book. She moved her fingers across the page and he guided her hand so that her fingers ran across the words which matched the stage of the potion. He continued to stir in the appropriate rhythm and didn’t say anything as she pulled a knife towards her and started to finely chop ingredients. They worked in silence, though when she began to lean against him, he put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her still damp hair.

An hour passed with the crackle of flame, the slicing of the knife, and the softest of suppressed sniffs from Tonks. His arm moved from her shoulder and his hand drifted down to rub circles in the small of her back. She sighed and turned towards him. He summoned empty vials and bottled up the potion before clearing the cauldron and bench with a wave of his wand. Tonks walked away towards the wall of spare robes and hung her robes back up before joining Snape at the sink to wash her hands of the traces left from the potion.

She leant against the wall, arms crossed, as he dried his hands.

“You realise you’ve aided the Dark Lord,” he said. She looked at him, pain searing through her empty smile, her eyes heavy with a quiet grief.

“You would have done it anyway,” she said, quietly. “At least this way it’s over quicker.” When he approached her, she held out her hand. His fingers intertwined with hers, she pulled him closer and slipped her other hand beneath his shirt. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder. He brought his free hand between them and stroked her abdomen. Her voice muffled as her lips moved against his shirt, she said, “The potions in the bathroom.” She felt the smallest wave of tension through him and wondered how many others would recognise it. “Have you used all of them?”

“Yes,” he said. A simple admission followed by his lips against her shoulder. She raised her head and took his face in her hands. She brushed her thumb across his lips and searched his eyes. Potions to recover from Voldemort while he brewed potions for Voldemort.

“Severus,” she said, her thumb lingering on his mouth. “Where’s your sanctuary?” She didn’t mean for the words to be spoken aloud and she looked away.

“No,” he said, as if compelled. She moved away from him and he didn’t stop her. Still, she took his hand as she walked away. She led him back to the bedroom. The house-elves had been, the lamps were lit, and the fire was roaring in front of a freshly made bed. She stopped and turned. Not looking at him as she undid the shirt and slid it over his shoulders, nor as she pushed his trousers down and he stepped out of them.

“Nox,” she said, walking away and getting into the bed to sit near the pillows. He followed her and stood beside the bed, until at the touch of her hand on his thigh, he got in beside her. He sat up against the drift of pillows and watched her hesitate, her gaze going to the stack of potions tomes beside the bed, then she took a deep breath and moved so she was straddling him. She put his hands on her hips. “I persist because I have to.” Her breath caught but she kissed him nonetheless and he felt the tension leave her as he deepened the kiss. She broke the kiss. “Because with you I want to.”

“You,” he said, his hands moving to the small of her back. She arched against him as sparks pooled at the base of her spine. “There wasn’t a true one until you.”


	20. Chapter 20

She stilled, leaning back against his hands which pressed into her. Her hands on his scarred shoulders, she eased back towards him. With only the firelight to watch her by, he saw her eyes open, her determined gaze smouldering like hot coals. Her body against his, she reached up to his face and her fingers lingered on his lips. With exquisite slowness, she closed the distance. Her fingers gave way to her lips. She whimpered as his hands were on her thighs, her legs, bringing her closer, bringing him deeper. He murmured her name. Embracing him was easy. She already knew his body in ways she didn’t have to stop to remember. Each movement came with ease. Came without hesitation as the fire burned gently lower.

Her grasp on him tightened. He saw her eyes glowing in the firelight and the sheen of sweat across her. In a desperate movement, she flung her hand out towards the fire, an incantation panted against his mouth. A snow storm burst into life, snowflakes swirling around them, casting an orange glow in the room from the firelight.

“I was too hot,” she said, resting her forehead against his.

“In that case,” he said, lifting her away from him, and laughing when she pressed herself against him more tightly. Snowflakes melted on Tonks’s skin, covering her back, and sent a new tension through her which brought a deep groan from Snape. The heat between them was untouched by the snow and as her skin ran with goosebumps, he reached between them, and kissed her shoulder. She whimpered where the heat of his mouth was on her body.

“I’m yours,” she said, lips by his ear.

“Don’t make promises,” he said, catching her gaze.

“A truth,” she moaned. “Not a promise.” She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hand moved lower. “I’m yours.” As she came, she held onto him like she might never let go. She kissed his jaw. “I’m yours.” Another flurry of snow around them and she brought him his climax as melting snowflakes ran down her back and over his hands. Magic pulsed through them as they caught their breath. He stroked her back, spreading meltwater across her skin, and she arched against him.

“I am very fond of what that does to you,” he said, bringing one hand round to stroke her stomach. She looked at him with lazy joy and leaned close again to kiss him. She deepened the kiss before pulling away and holding her hand out. The snow storm stopped and they were left with the last of the snowflakes falling around them.

“Too cold,” she said, laughing. He smiled, drinking in her joy. She looked at her hand, turning it back and forth. “It’s easier when my magic feels stronger.” She bit her lip and looked down. He lowered his hand to her abdomen and she felt the gentle pressure of him against her and the glow of heat from the wandless charm. “Show off.” He shrugged.

“More relaxed,” he said, stroking her stomach. “Given the present situation.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and her eyes widened at the soft touch of the drying charm which released her of the meltwater. “That’s what surprises you?”

“Teach me,” she said, as he pulled the blankets up around them. He swept her hair from her face where strands had stuck from sweat and snow. He ran his fingers through her black waves. “I know.” She stared at his Dark mark. “It’s where I keep coming back to.” She glanced at him. “It’s never happened before, not like this.” She took both his hands in hers. She scrunched up her eyes and tightened her grip on him. He saw her hair change to brown and felt her fingers digging into his hands. She was breathing hard and when she opened her eyes, he saw the flash of soft brown before black swept over her. She tried to catch her breath as the black settled. “It’s where I want to be.” One corner of his mouth pulled up in a small smile as her grip lessened but she didn’t let go of him. “People think I’m taking after Bellatrix.”

“If anyone who knew her really looked at you, they wouldn’t see her,” said Snape. “You have a warmth she has never possessed.”

There was a knocking at the main door and Snape leaned his head back against the headboard and groaned.

“I would place Galleons on this being about a group of third years,” he said. “It would seem they have a desire to collect as many detentions as possible and they have spent the past week testing my patience.”

“Testing your patience?” said Tonks.

“If they had any sense, they wouldn’t be getting caught.” Tonks laughed and he kissed her as there was another round of knocking at the door. She moved off him and pulled the blankets over herself as he got out of bed.

“Be gentle with them,” she said.

“They don’t need your help,” he said, as he got dressed. “Getting caught was something I recall you excelling at.” Tonks nodded and smiled.

“Yeah,” she said. “Savage was the reason I didn’t get caught more.”

“Exactly,” he said, “a Slytherin.” He shrugged on a set of robes over his trousers and shirt. He came back to the bed and Tonks moved to kneel in front of him.

“Don’t be long?” she said. He took her face in his hands and she grasped his belt through his robes. She felt the restraint in his kiss, and then he was walking away. She sat back on her ankles and heard his boots on the flagstones as he walked through his quarters. The main door opened and she heard other voices. Then the door closed and there was silence. She sunk back into the bed and looked around the room. She summoned different books and tomes until she had a small stack in front of her on the bed. She was flipping through one and a page caught her eye. She bit her lip and glanced at the door. She slipped out of the bed and found one of his shirts.

She could do this. Invigoration Draught was simple. She perched on the stool, pulling Snape’s shirt lower down to ease the chill of the wood against her skin. She prepped her ingredients and started to brew. She was tucking her hair beneath the shirt when something in her gave a violent lurch. The wrong colour. This was turning the colour of Draught of Peace and they weren’t even the right ingredients for Draught of Peace. Her Auror reflexes kicked in and she scrambled away from the bench, hitting the stone floor on her hands and knees. She crawled away and threw up wards on the room and shields around herself moments before the explosion.

Snape entered his quarters and knew something was wrong. There was the acrid smell of fire and ruined potions. He ran to the lab and tried to open the door. Wards. Not his wards. He tried the handle again. Hand on the door, he searched the grain of the wood for answers and swept his wand across the lock. Panic, fear, and anger reverberated through the wards. He murmured Tonks’s name and began to dismantle the powerful wards, leaving his own intact. He opened the door with caution, wand drawn. Tonks was sitting curled up, arms around bare and bloodied legs. She aimed an Aguamenti at the smouldering wood near a ruined cauldron. She was wearing one of his shirts and her tousled hair tumbled around her. Smears of blood were across her cheeks and his shirt. Her eyes flashed to him and she twitched her wand. He saw the shields around her strengthen with swirls of colour like fuel. She sniffed and tried to curl up on herself even more. A small fire erupted on the bench and he put it out with a flick of his wand. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

Chin resting on her knees, she watched him as he walked around the lab, putting out fires where the cauldron had decided to fling itself with obnoxious abandon. He vanished some of the mess immediately and examined other parts of it, rubbing ruined potion between his fingers before getting rid of it. He repaired the benches and the damaged wall.

Her gaze followed him until he stopped a few feet away, towering over her, at the edge of her shield.

“I am impressed by how far you managed to coax that potion along before its volatility couldn’t be contained any longer,” he said. He crouched down and she watched him give her a visual assessment. “Lower your shields, Tonks.”

“You dismantled my wards,” she said.

“I am not dismantling your shields,” he said. He moved and sat back against the wall, legs outstretched. “And you’ve dismantled my wards before now.” Her eyes flashed and she huffed.

“You kept me in the bedroom,” she said, “I was trying to limit damage.”

“There are already wards on the lab,” he said.

“I did fine earlier,” she said.

“I was with you,” he said.

“I can help brew for Voldemort but not for myself?” she said.

“You prepared ingredients which were already there and I did the brewing itself,” he said. He sighed. “Please lower your shields.”

“Why do you have wards on the lab?” she said.

“Any Potions Master worth their salt keeps wards on their lab,” he said. “And even Potions Masters can get things wrong.”

“I promise not to tell,” she said, with a wobbly laugh.

“No promises,” he said. A warm smile played on his lips. Tonks got onto her hands and knees, and crawled to the edge of her shields. She sat back on her ankles and rubbed her eyes. “You’re exhausted, Tonks.” She gave an unwilling nod and with tired hesitation, raised her wand and dismissed her shields. She crawled, wincing, the short distance to Snape. He pulled her onto his lap and she leaned against him, eyes closed. She heard him murmur incantations and felt the warmth of healing charms on her knees and shins. He took her hands one at a time, turning them palm up, his thumb stroking the edge of her hand each time he cast charms to heal the abrasions. His fingers moved with deliberate pressure across each hand and wrist in turn.

“I didn’t break anything,” said Tonks. “I know what that feels like.”

“No,” said Snape, his fingers under her chin nudging her to look up at him. “You just scraped your legs and hands to pieces.” Tonks shrugged.

“How long did that Crucio take to pass?” she said. He let go of her chin, closed his eyes, and rubbed his forehead. He looked at her and sighed. Wand still in hand, he stroked her legs.

“Up,” he said. She didn’t move. “Tonks.” She moved on his lap so that she was straddling him. “A few hours.” She nodded and stood up. He watched her adjust the shirt before getting up. He took her hand and led her out of the lab. “Let’s see what the house-elves can be convinced to bring by way of a meal.” He glanced at her. “You might want to undo a button.” He laughed at the Stinging Jinx she shot at him.


	21. Chapter 21

There was a pop of apparition in another room and Snape picked up his pace, still holding Tonks's hand. She jogged to fall into step with him as they walked through to the main living area. There was a house-elf holding an envelope. They looked at Tonks with disdain. Snape let go of Tonks’s hand, and with thanks to the house-elf took the envelope. He opened it and pulled out a letter while Tonks tried to stare down the house-elf who was holding their hand out, palm up. The house-elf gave an impertinent cough and gestured with their outstretched hand for her to hurry up.

“They want the shirt,” said Snape, offhand, glancing up briefly from the letter. Tonks frowned and put her hands on her hips. There was no doubt the shirt needed cleaned of the bloodstains but she would have preferred some choice in taking it off. The house-elf coughed again and Tonks realised she wasn’t going to win this argument. She unbuttoned the shirt and handed it over to the house-elf who nodded and disapparated with a pop. Snape tossed the letter and envelope in the fire and picked up robes from one of the sofas and handed them to Tonks. She slipped the robes on while her gaze kept flitting back to the fire.

“What was in that letter?” she said.

“Nothing,” he said, dismissively. He was looking back and forth between two of the bookcases.

“Severus,” she said, approaching him. She put her hands on him and he grabbed her wrists, taking her from him then letting her go. “Excuse me?” He went to the bookcases, pulled out a number of books and summoned a house-elf. Tonks didn't move other than to watch him as her body tensed. He requested a simple meal for Tonks, then he was walking away to his lab. The robes surged gently around Tonks as she ran after him.

“You need to eat,” he said, going into the lab. “I have more brewing to do.” She stopped the door from closing and slipped into the lab behind him. Her hand wrapped around his wrist and she staggered to a halt against him. He turned on her and backed her up against a bench. He didn’t try to release himself from her grasp. “Does it occur to you that I cannot tell you more?”

“Let me help, then,” she said.

“No,” he said. Tonks yelped and released Snape’s wrist as his skin burned with a furious heat beneath her touch. “I will not push the boundaries further to satisfy your curiosity as to how I am bound.” Her eyes widened and with nowhere to go, she grabbed the edge of the bench. She startled when there was the pop of a house-elf apparating and disapparating further away in his quarters. She couldn’t look at him but wrapped her hand around his wrist again. The burn gone, she bent to kiss his wrist. Then she let him go and pushed past him.

“I wasn’t - I didn’t,” she said, hesitating at the door and not looking back, “I didn’t know.”

He was behind her, hands on her shoulders. She shrugged out of his hold and left the lab.

She stood between the two bookcases she’d watched him take books from. Tilting her head this way and that, she read the different titles. She knew the books weren’t put on the shelves at random and still she didn’t know what tied them together. The bookcase filled with older books drew her attention and she stood in front of the books, running her fingers over the spines, fingertips bumping over the bands and embossed symbols. She crouched down and a book with faded gilt lettering and scuffed bands on the spine caught her attention. She eased the book from the shelf. The book on the sofa, she picked up the bowl of stew and mashed potato left by the house-elf, and sat crossed legged beside the book. The cover was worn and she eased it open to see a year scrawled across one corner of the marbled endpaper. She leaned closer, only to sit up when the stew threatened to make an escape from the bowl. She could make out the first two numbers and they were enough to tell her the book was at least a hundred years old. Slowly but surely, Tonks ate the stew, and worked her way through the book. Sometimes reading each word on the page, sometimes flipping past several. Some potions took up only a few pages, others went on endlessly it seemed until she found their end. A third of the way through the book, and most of her way through the meal, she found a potion which she had almost flipped past but went back to. She put her bowl back on the table and returned to reading about the potion.

Snape stopped in the doorway, arms crossed, and leant against the wooden frame. Still bent over the book, chin resting on her hand, Tonks glanced up. His sleeves had been pushed up and she could see his Dark Mark. She pulled the book onto her lap and lay her arms across the pages, the edges of the hardback pressing against her body as she held the book against her. He crossed the room and sat beside her, one arm across the back of the sofa, the other held out towards her. She got up, putting the book back on the sofa, and took his hand. He pulled her gently towards him. Bunching the robes up in her hand, she straddled him and he was reminded that she wasn’t wearing anything else.

“And here I was expecting you to hand over the book,” he said. She huffed and a small smile graced her lips. His eyes darted to the near empty bowl on the table. “Tell me you weren’t eating while you read it.” Her nose scrunched up.

“No,” she said.

“Indeed,” he said, letting go of her hand and reaching beneath the robes to put his hand on her waist. With his other hand he pulled the book closer and turned it around. He glanced at the page before flipping back several pages to the beginning of the instructions, the pages rustling at his touch. His touch on her waist increased and he closed the book. He brought his other hand back to her and met her gaze. “You found it interesting?” Her hands drifted down to his belt and she licked and bit her lips. “For light reading?” She looked down, fingers brushing the buckle. His grasp on her tightened and she inhaled sharply. “Tonks.”

“Yes?” she said. He sighed and sunk down a fraction on the sofa, eyes closed and head back. She moved closer, more of her legs on the sofa again. He let go of her and took both her hands in his.

“The Dark Lord has requested my presence sooner than expected,” he said. Without thinking, she looked at his Dark Mark then over to the fire. “I need to leave soon.” She turned back and found him watching her. She nodded slowly, trying not to let the preemptive burn of tears overwhelm her. “Tonks?” She curled up against him. He put his arms around her and she grasped his shirt.

“Come back,” she said, softly, the echoes of his touch after the Crucio rippling through her. He felt her shiver and stroked her back.

“If you wish me to help you from the castle you will need to get ready now,” said Snape. “Unless you want the Bloody Baron and Fat Friar to help you again?” Tonks stilled, her body tensing. Her hands against him, she pushed herself slowly up.

“No one else knows.”

“Your parents do,” he said. “It came up somewhere between your Bellatrix trick and my leaving there alive.”

“Of course,” she said, taking a deep breath and trying for a smile. She reached up and brushed her thumb across his lips. “I’ll get ready.” She climbed off him and left the room, not hearing or catching sight of the Fat Friar yanking the Bloody Baron back down through the floor of the hallway where they’d been eavesdropping, the Bloody Baron having heard himself mentioned. Snape watched her walk away. Once she had left the room, he picked up the potions book and flipped through to the page she had been reading. He snapped the book shut and put it back in the bookcase.

Snape didn’t raise his wand but Tonks felt the Disillusionment Charm lift. He was watching her. Both beneath hoods in the dark of the November night and in the shadow of the forest. The slightest waning moon to see by and the stars shining bright in the clear night. She reached out to him but he didn’t reciprocate the gesture.

“Is this how it’s going to be?” she said, her voice thick. He stepped closer, his hand pushing away her cloak and robes to touch the bare skin at the edge of her trousers. She huffed at the rush of cold air and closed her eyes. Angry at the betrayal of her body in the sparks that began to pool as his hand moved to the small of her back. He leaned closer, and without thinking she moved so that she might meet his lips with hers, but her lips grazed his cheek.

“I am to greet the Dark Lord in a few minutes,” he said, the whisper quiet even by her ear. Why, Merlin, why did she have to moan? She screwed up her eyes and bit her lip in a futile attempt to stop the other sounds aching in her to be released. Stop him knowing what he was doing to her. But from the pressure of his fingertips on the base of her spine he knew precisely what he was doing.

The Auror and Death Eater stood near the edge of the forest as if it were their only rendezvous point amidst war. As if there hadn’t been hours together. Pleasure sought and given freely. Lowered shields and stolen shirts. But that was a sanctuary that existed only behind warded doors. In his bed, a snow storm surrounding them, laying herself bare was easy. In this colder darkness the heat was harder to hold onto and she ached to lean closer to him.

“Severus - ” The pull of him away from her ripped a gasp from her. The heat she'd felt at his touch more pronounced by the cold which rushed in with his absence and grabbed ahold of her. He turned on his heel and walked away. The sharp crack of disapparition whipped through the night air and she turned her head away. She stumbled and fell back.

Snape stood on the edge of the shore. The water touched the shingle with hesitant swells. The quiet night was split apart by the rush of water pulled up from the middle of the loch into a towering mountain ready to crash back down, held only by the flexing of his fingers around his wand. He released the water and apparated to Malfoy Manor. Waves raced up the shingle to the edge of the forest and mountains surrounding the loch. Where he had stood the surging waves tried to wrestle driftwood back into the water.

Tonks walked into the village, head bowed until a breeze stirred up her cloak and she pulled it around herself. She paused to look up at the stars and found her mother. Her gaze drifted across the sky towards Draco. She looked back to where Snape had disapparated, and whispered into the night, “Come back.”


	22. Chapter 22

Torches lit the lane outside the Hog’s Head Inn, and when the door opened, light flooded out from the Inn along with the voices of patrons already making headway on their weekend drinking. Tonks almost walked into Moody when he stormed out through the doorway. He cast a hex at her feet and she swore. He pulled the door closed behind him.

“Constant vigilance,” he barked. Tonks swore again and rubbed her foot against the back of her leg. She started to wobble and grabbed Moody’s arm.

“Love you, too,” she said, groaning. That was going to sting for a while. “What’s wrong?”

“Savage is non-responsive,” said Moody, “Aberforth says he hasn’t seen them come down.” He glanced back at the Inn. “They must be in bed, but they’re either ignoring me or they’ve thrown up the wrong silencing charm.”

“We’d never ignore you,” said Tonks. Moody snorted.

“Go get them,” said Moody, “you and Savage always know how to drag each other out of bed.”

“You try sending a Patronus?” she said. She was wiggling her toes as best she could in her boots. It had been a while since Moody had hexed her like that.

“What kind of Auror do you take me for?” said Moody, and Tonks deflected another hex. She looked at him and saw the worry beneath his harried features.

“Fine,” said Tonks, and she pushed the door to the Hog’s Head open. She was about to close it when she turned back to Moody. “How come you’re here anyway?”

“I need a reason to be here?” said Moody. Tonks narrowed her eyes. “Get Savage and then we’ll talk.” Tonks shut the door and heard Moody grumble.

She nodded in greeting to Aberforth as she wove through the smoky haze and haphazard seating arrangements before climbing the narrow stairs to Savage’s room. Tonks tried the handle first then ran her hand across the door. The wards were their usual ones. The two Aurors were long used to dismantling each other’s wards and with a few movements Tonks felt the wards and the silencing charm lift. She tried the handle again and this time it moved. She eased the door open and two swearing voices cut through the squeaking of the hinges.

“It’s just me,” said Tonks, staying hidden behind the door.

“Everything okay?” said Savage.

“I shouldn’t come in, should I?” said Tonks.

“It’s a you and Remus at Hogmanay type situation,” said Savage. Tonks groaned and she heard the low murmur of a whisper from Savage’s companion. There was a strangely familiar tone to the voice and the deep rumble of laughter which followed.

“Charlie?” said Tonks.

“Hey Tonks,” said Charlie Weasley.

“Oh, Merlin,” said Tonks, “Savage, Moody needs you, okay?” Tonks looked up at the ceiling with its wooden beams and cobwebs. “You put up the wrong silencing charm and apparently managed to ignore his Patronus twice.”

“We were occupied,” said Savage, as if they’d been busy putting together jigsaw puzzles with Charlie.

“How occupied?” said Tonks. “Moody did that to me a few weeks ago and, you know what, never mind.” She cast a snow storm around the edge of the door into the room and was met with protests. “Get ready.” Tonks shut the door and made her way back outside to Moody who was looking around the village, his magic eye spinning more than usual in the dark. “Savage will be down soon.”

“I won’t ask,” said Moody. “Everything okay, lass?” Tonks shrugged and sat on one of the grubby window sills of the Hog’s head. “Tonks?”

“How come you’re here?” she said, pulling the hood of her cloak up and casting a warming charm. She longed for the warmth of Snape’s bed and the fireplace. Of his hands on her. His body against hers. She leaned against the cold stone surrounding the window and stared past Moody at the torches on the other side of the lane.

“Order business,” said Moody. “We’ll talk once Savage is down.” He pulled out a watch and checked the time in what little light made it out of the dirty windows before putting the watch back. There was still an hour or so before Dawlish and Proudfoot would be finished with their patrol. He looked Tonks up and down. She put up a shield against his jinx and glanced up at him with a small smile. “Come here.” Tonks got up and put her arms around Moody’s neck. He tolerated the hug for a moment. “Constant vigilance, Tonks, constant vigilance.” Tonks stepped back and sniffed, wrapping her arms around herself.

“I’m tired,” she said, “that’s it.”

“Your fella treating you well?” said Moody. Tonks looked at him in surprise. “You seem off, lass.” She shook her head.

“Just,” she said, scrabbling about her mind for something that fit, then when she did, feeling the jolt of realising why it was at the forefront of her mind, “just hormonal.” The door of the Hog’s Head opened and Savage came outside, closing the door behind them.

“Pregnant?” said Moody, gruffly, looking her up and down again before glancing at Savage.

“Period,” said Tonks.

“Tonks?” said Savage, wandering over to Tonks and Moody.

“Not pregnant, period due, I feel like dragon dung,” said Tonks, “moving on.” Savage reached out and Tonks took their hand. Savage squeezed Tonks’s hand and Tonks squeezed back. “Moody?” He nodded his head towards the end of the lane and they all fell into step as they walked towards a quieter part of the village.

“You couldn’t be on patrol if you were pregnant,” said Moody, “you know that.”

“Yes,” said Tonks, kicking a piece of gravel out of her path, “I know.”

“She’s definitely not,” said Savage, “as godparent-in-waiting I’d be the first to know and I haven’t heard a thing.”

“That isn’t helping,” said Tonks, shooting a Stinging Jinx at Savage who managed to dodge the jinx and shoot one at Tonks’s foot. Tonks swore. Loudly. Savage had jinxed the foot Moody had hexed. “I will charm your hair red.” Savage burst out laughing and they squeezed Tonks’s hand when they saw her smile.

“Information always helps,” said Moody. "Don't forget that." He stopped near an open space and cast a Homenum Revelio which showed them to be the only ones around. “Speaking of which, Dumbledore wants one of you to patrol the entrance of Hogwarts tonight.”

“On our own?” said Tonks.

“Charlie Weasley’s going to join you, Tonks,” said Moody. “You seem like you could use a quieter night.” He glanced at Savage. “I’ll join you for patrol here.” Savage nodded. “If anyone asks where you are, I’ll say the school needed help after concerns about the Forbidden Forest.” Tonks nodded.

“What about Charlie?” she said. “What’s his cover for being up at the school?”

“He’ll be with you, but only as back up if something happens,” said Moody. “He could be visiting for any number of reasons as far as anyone else needs to be concerned and be chatting to you on his way in or out of the castle.”

“I’m sure we’ll find plenty to talk about,” said Tonks. Savage coughed and looked at their boots.

“It’ll be an all nighter,” said Moody, “but they’re ordinary patrol hours for you.”

“You want me to report back?” said Tonks.

“You mean do I have to keep you from your fella longer than necessary?” said Moody. Savage snorted then winced when Tonks shot a Stinging Jinx at them.

“No?” said Tonks.

“Send me a Patronus, lass,” said Moody, “just keep it short and sweet, you understand me?”

“Yes,” said Tonks.

“Off you go, then,” said Moody, “you might as well make a start getting up there.”

“Sorry for being, you know - ” said Tonks.

“Moody?” said Savage, grinning. Moody cracked a smile and reached out to pat Tonks on the shoulder.

“Make sure you rest tomorrow, lass,” he said. “Hopefully you have an uneventful night.” Tonks still held onto Savage as she leaned over and kissed Moody on the cheek. She squeezed Savage’s hand then let go.

The three Aurors exchanged goodbyes and Tonks made her way up to Hogwarts. She was on a slippy grass slope, the torches flanking the great doors like stars in the distance, when she heard other footsteps squelching on the grass. The darkness too thick to make out more than a moving shadow, she turned with her wand drawn, and cast a shield. The shield, for a brief moment, gave a glow which illuminated the edges of the familiar features.

“Hey Charlie,” said Tonks.

“You’re still my favourite Hufflepuff, you know that, right?” he said.

“And now you have a favourite Slytherin,” she said, dismissing the shield, and plunging them deeper into the dark again as he stopped in front of her.

“You don’t?” he said, laughing. His hood of his cloak down, the breeze stirred up his hair.

“What?” she said, sharply.

“Merlin, your guy is a Slytherin?”

“How - how did you even know I have a guy?”

“Walked in on Sirius and Remus kissing each other senseless,” said Charlie, “which led to, um, a conversation about whether or not you and Remus were still together.”

“You didn’t hex anyone, did you?” she said, wincing.

“Remus ‘fessed up as soon as he saw me,” said Charlie, “said that you broke up a few weeks ago.”

“He say anything else?”

“That you and him were okay,” said Charlie. “What happened?” Tonks glanced at him from beneath her hood, eyes bright.

“Savage not tell you?” said Tonks.

“They’ve been suspiciously quiet on the matter,” said Charlie.

“Yeah,” said Tonks, “you’re dating a Slytherin, get used to that.”

“Tonks?”

“He loved Sirius,” said Tonks, simply. “He wasn’t going to end things, so I made sure - I made sure things ended.” Charlie tackled Tonks with a hug. She slipped her hands under his cloak and hugged him. He kissed her on the forehead.

“I’m still your favourite Gryffindor, right?” said Charlie, kissing Tonks’s forehead again. Tonks laughed, albeit a little shakily. She was basking in his warmth as they swayed gently on the spot in the dark. His embrace a comfortable reminder of different times. His touch was one she didn’t long for in the way she did for another. The difference between a friend and a - and him. She tried not to think of what Snape was doing and still her mind ran through different scenarios before coming back to the same place. Crucio, Crucio, Crucio. She shuddered. Charlie tightened his hold on her and she did likewise. They had been a safe place for each other in those last years of Hogwarts and his hug felt like a harbour in the storm of her runaway thoughts as they stood under the night’s sky.

“Never been another,” said Tonks, pulling away enough to see his scarred face. “And it would be mean to try and choose between Sirius and Remus seeing as I’ve only slept with one of them and Sirius and I have no plans to change that.” Charlie’s rumbling laugh echoed in the dark around them. “Come on.” She started walking and Charlie fell into step with her. “Tell me, just what are your intentions with Savage?”


	23. Chapter 23

Tonks and Charlie cast warming charms, stamped their feet, huddled together in their heavy cloaks on the steps near the torches, and still found themselves at the mercy of the November night. Winter was champing at the bit and autumn was losing its strength to withstand the plunging temperatures.

“This is why I like dragons,” said Charlie, casting another warming charm where they sat, “if they’re not breathing fire a few feet away from you, you keep warm with all the running away.”

“Or running around staging escapes for them by broom in the middle of the night,” said Tonks, nudging Charlie with her elbow from beneath her cloak, “I still can’t believe we got away with that.”

“Merlin, that was brilliant,” said Charlie, grinning. “I knew I could count on you to help.” He gently punched Tonks’s shoulder.

“I could have been kicked out of the Auror training programme,” said Tonks, covering her hands with her face and laughing. “Don’t ever tell Moody.” She sighed, wrapped her arms around herself, and leant her head on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Don’t ever tell my mum,” said Charlie.

“When are you going to tell your mum about Savage?” said Tonks. “Seeing as you told your dad about our dragon adventure, I’m guessing he knows about Savage.”

“They both know I’m seeing someone,” said Charlie, “and that they’re an Auror who isn’t you.”

“But?”

“Dad would be fine,” said Charlie, and he glanced at Tonks before looking at the steps below, “but I don’t know how mum would feel about me dating a Slytherin.”

“Your mum talks to my mum sometimes.”

“Yeah, and she talks to Snape, too,” said Charlie, “that doesn’t mean she likes Slytherins.” He cast more warming charms. “She couldn't even cope with - ” He looked at her, smiling sadly, and reached out to brush her cheek. Tonks was a lovely girl, and her family were perfectly lovely, but she wasn't really the kind of girl for Charlie. Not the marrying sort who would want to settle down and have children. Not with those ambitions of becoming an Auror. Molly had said it all with absolute sincerity during the Christmas holidays of his and Tonks’s seventh year. Charlie had told Tonks over a bottle of Firewhisky when he snuck her into the prefects bathroom once they went back to school. They knew they weren't forever, but their reasons weren't Molly's. He sighed and Tonks kissed his hand.

“Savage is a pureblood Auror who is in the Order,” said Tonks, “they’re practically perfect.” She nudged Charlie’s foot with hers, wincing slightly at where she was still sore from the hex and jinx earlier in the evening. “They’ve never smuggled a dragon out of the country, either.”

“Yeah,” said Charlie, a small laugh escaping him. “Tonks, how in Merlin’s name do I protect them from mum when she realises that Savage and I don’t want to have kids?” He rubbed his face and looked at Tonks. “I mean, other than the ones which breathe fire and have scales?”

“You don’t protect them,” said Tonks, quietly. “Savage wouldn’t be Savage if they didn’t stand beside you, and whenever Molly can’t hold it in any longer, you remind her that she’s probably getting grandchildren from everyone else.” Tonks reached out and squeezed Charlie’s hand. “Maybe she’ll come around to the idea and knit egg warmers instead.”

“I don’t want to hurt them,” said Charlie, tracing lazy circles with his wand above the steps so that red sparks flitted around them. “Bill and Fleur keep getting grief from mum as it is and everyone knows they’re just one Firewhisky away from getting knocked up the way they’re going.”

“Has he proposed yet?” said Tonks. Charlie snorted.

“Oh, we’ve got a few more drinking sessions to go before he gets the courage up,” said Charlie, his grin more confident. “Come on, tell me about your Slytherin.”

“I never agreed that he was a Slytherin,” said Tonks. Charlie shot green sparks across her feet and they both laughed. She charmed stray leaves to dance in circles around Charlie’s head and he batted them away. Their laughter grew until they heard the great doors beginning to creak and they both leap up, wands drawn in tight grasps.

“Hello dears,” said Sprout, levitating two bowls of stew in front of her as she made her way outside, unperturbed by the wands pointing at her. “It is late and cold and you both must eat.” The wands were lowered and eyes widened at the sight of hot food.

“Thank you, Professor,” said Tonks, grabbing the bowls from midair and handing one to Charlie, “thank you.” Sprout’s smile widened as Charlie gave his thanks, too. She patted Tonks on the cheek.

“Just summon a house-elf to take the bowls once you’re done,” said Sprout, and then she was going back inside. The great doors closed with a clunk behind her.

“Sorry, Tonks,” said Charlie, staring at the bowl of stew which had white plumes of steam rising from it. “But I think I have a new favourite Hufflepuff.” Tonks laughed as Charlie looked back at her, grinning. They settled themselves back on the steps, holding the hot bowls tightly against themselves, even though the heat was almost painful. “So, this guy you’re dating?” Tonks stirred her stew. She glanced at Charlie who was keeping his focus on his own stew.

“I - I don’t know if we’re dating,” said Tonks, “I don’t know what we are.”

“You sleeping with him?” said Charlie. He looked at Tonks and snorted when he saw her sudden blush. “That’s a yes, then.” She looked at him with a resigned smile and nodded. “He the reason your hair’s changed?” He tilted his head and looked at her more closely. “And your eyes? What’s up with that?”

“Jealous I never went ginger and green?” said Tonks.

“I know we love each other,” said Charlie, softly, “but I’ve never known you change like this, I thought you and Remus - unless - did you?” He looked at her expectantly. “While I was away?”

“No,” she said, quietly.

“And you say don’t know if you’re dating this guy?” said Charlie. “Wait, is he in the Order?”

“Charlie - ” Tonks’s eyes flashed in a dangerous way which reminded Charlie of their Hogwarts years. Charlie’s raised eyebrows, and the broad grin which showed he was biting his tongue was all the confirmation Tonks needed. His shoulders shook with gentle laughter.

“Oh, wow,” said Charlie. “Does your mum know?” Tonks snorted. “Of course she does.”

“Too many people know,” said Tonks, “mum and dad, Remus, Madam Pomfrey, the Bloody Baron and the Fat Friar, and Savage always knows everything.”

“How come Madam Pomfrey knows?” said Charlie.

“Savage tell you about Dolohov and Yaxley attacking them?” said Tonks. Charlie huffed in displeasure.

“Their little brush with Crucio?” said Charlie. “Yeah, they told me.”

"Lucius came after me with Severus as backup."

"It’s okay, I’m getting to grips with how much Aurors downplay things."

“Sure, dragon boy, we're the only ones who do that." Charlie laughed. "Anyway, after Madam Pomfrey gave Savage Dreamless Sleep, I told Severus what I thought of his methods and he didn’t hold back,” said Tonks. “That and some hysterical crying the next morning kind of gave the game away.” She straightened up and her spoon clanked against the bowl. “I mean, we hadn’t even - ”

“Nymphadora Tonks the sweet Hufflepuff Auror laid into the Death Eater who is spying on Voldemort for the Order?” said Charlie, ducking Tonks’s outstretched hand. “It must be - ”

“Don’t say it,” said Tonks, the words rushing out. “And you make it sound so much worse than it was.”

“Tell me you hexed him,” said Charlie. “You’re such a fast draw.”

“He walked out and I threw up,” said Tonks. "No wands drawn and the love of your life slept through it.” Charlie reached out and squeezed Tonks's hand. “I don’t think anyone would call it romantic."

“No, I think it sounds like you,” said Charlie. “Tonks?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think Slytherins are all bad,” said Charlie. “I know I love mine.”

“Mine thinks the future is a distant theory,” said Tonks. She could feel his hands on her. His breath on her skin as he begged her to protect herself. “I - I want there to be a future.”

“You aren’t tempted, Severus?” said Voldemort. He sat in another of the endless stream of throne like chairs which inhabited Malfoy Manor. The green brocade was murky in the candlelight. The roaring flames in the fireplace behind Voldemort’s chair threw a great shadow into the room, flanked by the shadows of Bellatrix, Lucius, Narcissa, and Snape.

“Why deprive my associates when I have muggle London at my disposal?” said Snape, shrugging. At the other end of the room there were pureblood women from Death Eater families, barely of age and sipping elf wine, talking with men who had a desire to court them or make arrangements for them.

“Just London?” said Voldemort.

“Force of habit, my Lord,” said Snape.

“And you have time for that?” said Voldemort.

“My associates find time,” said Snape, “I merely find a different place, as well.” If his status as spy made the other Death Eaters uneasy, his being a half-blood raised in the muggle world made them even more so. He was at ease with both worlds, unlike the half-bloods who were raised in the wizarding world, and the purebloods who would never admit to being unable to navigate the muggle world beyond their expeditions to raid and attack.

“Speaking of another place, my Lord,” said Lucius, “would you permit me to show our guests the rest of the Manor.” Voldemort dismissed Lucius with a wave of his hand and Lucius left with a small bow. He walked towards the group of Death Eaters and young women at the other end of the room. He offered his arm to one young woman and with a giggle of surprise at his formality, she took his proffered arm and was led from the room. Snape saw Narcissa’s gaze was fixed on the door Lucius had left through.

“I’m going to see how Mulciber is doing with those mudbloods,” said Bellatrix, likewise watching where Lucius had left. She glanced at Narcissa with a version of pity.

“Play nicely,” said Voldemort, and Bellatrix spun to face him. She fluttered her lashes in a way she must have thought made her look attractive and kissed Voldemort’s hand. Then she left the room, striding away with something close to a spring in her step. The door had barely closed when Macnair walked in and headed towards the young women. “You won’t be in need of a reminder to play nicely, will you, Severus?”

There were lies Snape forced himself to keep tabs on and others which were burned into his memory. His last trip to muggle London had been the year before. A fortnight later, Macnair had dragged a woman in front of Snape. To taunt as much as offer. A muggle given the state she had been reduced to. A witch would only be left likewise if she was muggleborn. Snape’s associates and Voldemort all knew he kept that part of his life in the muggle world. If they wanted to believe he took what he desired by force, he let them. It wasn’t as if they could interrogate the women who likewise just wanted the ease of a one night stand. Until her.

Macnair dumped the redheaded woman at Snape’s feet. It didn’t matter how many years had passed since the friendship had ended, since she had died. His associates would try to turn the knife by bringing any redheads who crossed their paths to Snape’s attention. Anything to twist the knife a fraction more. Only a friend would notice the tell, and Narcissa did. She asked something of Voldemort and he turned his head from Snape to answer her. The woman had been blonde when they spent the night together. He never slept with redheads.

Macnair was detailing the delights of the night to Snape and missed the recognition which flashed in the woman’s eyes when she managed to turn her head. They were all merciless as it was. But they would find a way to lower their standards if they thought there was something they might gain from it. She was going to lose no matter what. Narcissa had Voldemort laughing about a mishap with the house-elves when the Killing Curse hit the woman. She slumped to the floor and Macnair erupted in rage. Voldemort queried whether or not that was the kind of entertainment Macnair had intended to offer Snape. Voldemort spoke as if to children who couldn’t share a toy nicely.

When Snape had managed to haul himself off the bloodied marble floor an hour later, there was the sickening realisation that Voldemort had gone lightly on him because he’d proven himself once again content to do what Death Eaters did, and as easily as breathing. Dumbledore listened to Snape tell how a muggle had recognised him. How he had ended their suffering sooner than Macnair intended. How Voldemort still trusted him. Even if there were questions about his manners. Dumbledore had been pleased.

Macnair stopped, a woman on his arm, when he saw Snape watching him.

“Like what you see?” said Macnair. The pureblood woman, who had Snape as their head of house only months before, stroked Macnair’s arm and simpered at him.

“I don’t share,” said Snape.

“As if I’d want to share with you,” said Macnair.

“Enough,” said Voldemort, with the strange fatherly tone he sometimes adopted. The pureblood woman was holding her breath as she stared wide eyed at Voldemort. “Severus, what was I just saying?” Voldemort looked up, and Snape met his gaze. “No reminders?”

“No, my Lord,” said Snape.

“Macnair,” said Voldemort. “Remember this is a woman of good breeding.”

“Yes, my Lord,” said Macnair. The woman seemed encouraged and a nervous smile graced her as she looked at Voldemort.

“You know better than to make a mess of Narcissa’s floors with this slip of thing,” said Voldemort. He turned to the woman. “And you’ll behave yourself, won’t you, unlike the mudbloods and muggles?” The woman on Macnair’s arm nodded furiously and Voldemort dismissed them with a wave. Macnair shot Snape a look of pure loathing and took his prize for the night to elsewhere in the Manor. She might have ideas of what was to come. Narcissa knew the woman didn’t have a clue.

Voldemort’s attention returned to the group at the other end of the room who were getting steadily more drunk on elf wine. Narcissa and Snape exchanged a glance. She didn’t give a damn about the floors and he tried not to think of the girl he had last seen at Hogwarts. They drank elf wine and practiced Occlumency. They glanced at each other on occasion, as if to check the other was still maintaining the facade. The night was young and they were to wait it out at Voldemort’s side.


	24. Chapter 24

The torches flanking the great doors illuminated the two figures guarding the entrance. Snape saw them adopt defensive postures. Heard the murmur of voices. The raised wands with fragments of torchlight bouncing off them hovered against dark cloaks and hoods. There was the briefest pulse of Lumos from one of the guards, before darkness swept around him again, and the guard ran down the steps.

“Severus,” said Tonks, almost slamming into him. She grabbed his hand and dragged him further into the shadows. “Charlie knows.” She kissed Snape before he could protest, and as it was, he pulled her closer. One hand running through her hair, the other at her waist. She slipped her hands beneath his cloak and the way she traced her hands over his body, he knew she was searching for tremors. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.

“I return uninjured,” said Snape.

“And I need to get back on guard duty,” said Tonks, stealing another kiss. “Don’t hex Charlie.”

“I shall take that under consideration,” said Snape, as Tonks took his hand and started walking towards the castle. As the spread of the torchlight got closer, Snape let Tonks’s hand go. “Perhaps you might enlighten me as to why I would consider hexing Charlie in the first place?”

“I found out that he’s the one Savage is dating,” said Tonks. They climbed the steps together and Charlie had a look of mild anxiety about him. “Then he figured out about you and me.” 

“You’re dating Savage?” said Snape, fixing Charlie with a glare as all three of them stood in front of the great doors. The torches crackling around them and the fire casting shadows that never stilled.

“Yes, Sir,” said Charlie, his gaze flitting to Tonks as Snape pulled open one of the great doors.

“If I were you, I’d consider that Tonks’s opinion is the one to truly fear should you mistreat Savage in any way,” said Snape. Charlie’s eyes widened as he watched Snape walk into the castle and let the door slam shut behind him.

“The Death Eater just told me to be more afraid of you, didn’t he?” said Charlie. Tonks nodded and glanced at the door. The both laughed and sighed. “How did we end up with Slytherins?”

As the early hours wore on, Tonks and Charlie had taken to rehashing old arguments about who really had the better quidditch team in seventh year, when a figure approached out of the darkness. Slughorn emerged into the torchlight after a few minutes, not walking entirely straight, and with red cheeks.

“Tonks!” said Slughorn, managing to Charlie’s amusement, to ignore him. “How are you my dear? How are you?”

“I’m well, Sir,” said Tonks. “Had a good night?”

“Excellent night, excellent,” said Slughorn. He leaned in as if confiding a secret. “I’ve been having quite the tasting session of all Madam Rosmerta’s mead collection so that I may place my order for Christmas.”

“That’ll chase away the cold, Sir,” said Tonks.

“Indeed it does,” said Slughorn. “Do remember me to your mother, won’t you?” 

“Of course, Sir,” said Tonks.

“Wonderful woman, wonderful.” He nodded and swayed somewhat as a result. “Excellent with potions and, well, I don’t need to tell you, but what a family.” He turned suddenly serious and Tonks had to bite her tongue as behind him Charlie was miming his disbelief at Slughorn’s comments. “Greatness shows in all sorts of ways.” Slughorn patted Tonks’s arm. “Your mother is a credit to her ancestors.” 

“I’ll tell her you were asking after her, Sir,” said Tonks, pushing open the door. Slughorn stared at the door in surprise for a moment.

“Thank you, my dear,” said Slughorn, turning to go inside. “Thank you.” And with that, he tottered into the castle and Tonks pulled the door closed. She and Charlie stood in silence while they waited for the footsteps to fade from the other side of the door before bursting into laughter.

“Oh, Merlin,” said Charlie. “A tasting session?” 

“I knew he liked mum, but - ” said Tonks.

“Your family?” said Charlie.

“Lots of people think it,” said Tonks, “you know that.” Their laughter died and Charlie put his arm around Tonks’s shoulder. She leaned into him and stared past the torchlight into the darkness. “Imagine what they’d think if they knew I was, whatever I am, with Severus?” Charlie winced. “Doesn’t matter that everyone tried to kill mum or that Severus switched sides.” She closed her eyes and forced herself to take deep breaths. “I’m surrounded by Death Eaters.”

“You’re surrounded by people who love you, too,” said Charlie. He wanted that to be enough. To be able to protect his family and Savage and Tonks. And even so, since his return from Romania and being greeted at breakfast for the first time with the sight of the Daily Prophet detailing Death Eater attacks, each time he saw the people he loved, it came with the exquisite pain of his first thought being that they were alive. He knew everyone else was simply used to the feeling.

“It isn’t enough,” said Tonks, her words so quiet they were almost lost in the crackling flames. “We’re at war, Charlie.”

The rest of their guard duty was spent in near silence sitting on the steps leaning against each other. When Tonks cast her Patronus, the curious badger was soon joined by a dragon many times bigger. Watching the two dance around each other on the steps again and again with each new casting brought small smiles to Tonks and Charlie. Leaves were transfigured into flowers foreign to the season as Charlie told Tonks the stories of his newer burns and scars with a fondness only a dragon handler could have. When the end of their guard duty came, they helped each other up off the steps, groaning with cold and tiredness, and the stiffness that comes from sitting on stone and somehow works its way through the entire body, as if the stone had been trying to claim new territory.

Tonks sent her Patronus to Moody with the message, “All’s well.” She rubbed her face and looked expectantly to the sky where night was still comfortably blanketing the world and sunrise had yet to consider making an appearance. Tonks and Charlie kept shooting each other glances which grew more awkward until Tonks laughed.

“You’re not planning to go back to the Hog’s Head, are you?” said Charlie.

“No,” said Tonks. “Say hi to Savage for me?”

“We were smoother than this in seventh year, weren’t we?” said Charlie. "I suppose it was different because we were sneaking off to the same bed."

“You’re forgetting all the detentions I got for being out of bed after curfew,” said Tonks, “and all because I could get into the boys dormitories and you couldn’t get into the girls.”

“Good times,” said Charlie, grinning. “Can’t deny our silencing charms were great.”

“Try explaining in Auror training how you got so good at them,” said Tonks. “Savage nearly died laughing while I came up with an excuse about it being a family secret.”

There was a burst of noises from inside the castle, and with a glance at the doors then at each other, Tonks pushed one of the great doors open. Charlie stood beside her, wand drawn, and they saw the commotion in the entrance hall. 

The students froze when Tonks and Charlie walked in, Tonks’s shield causing a flare of light in the space as she separated the duelling Slytherins and Gryffindors. While the students glanced at Charlie, it was the Auror striding towards them which made their hearts race. One of the students had a brief moment of overwhelming stupidity take hold of them and they tried to run, but without hesitation, Tonks cast another spell and the student slammed into a ward and staggered back towards the main group. There was a Slytherin with bruises blooming across their face and their companion hovered nervously at their side. Tonks suspected they might be the third years intent on causing Snape grief. The Gryffindors were in similar shape. 

“Go get Professor McGonagall,” said Tonks. Charlie left, retracing the familiar route to his old head of house’s quarters. There was a string of protests from both groups of students and Tonks narrowed her eyes. The students had all seen the Daily Prophet for years and through the rumours which spread with the news of each attack, of each Death Eater escape, they knew who Tonks’s family was. “You do not need to defend yourselves to me.” She saw the recognition in their eyes and it sharpened something in her own gaze. “Expelliarmus.” She caught their wands with ease and was met with a mob of apologies and what looked to be the beginnings of tears. There was a war going on. And instead of making friends they were organising duels. She wanted to scream at them. She heard the approaching footsteps and heard McGonagall’s seething exasperation. Some things never changed.

“Thank you,” said McGonagall, and Tonks nodded before handing over the wands. She lowered the shields and wards. The rift wasn’t new given how McGonagall launched into her telling off. She was chastising both groups of students when Snape appeared. He didn’t look pleased and Charlie stepped closer to Tonks. It became clear one of the students was much worse for wear than the others and McGonagall stopped her tirade when she saw Snape looking the student up and down.

“I’ll take them up to the hospital wing,” said Tonks. McGonagall looked round in surprise, which settled into a grateful smile. The little Slytherin’s eyes widened in fright.

“Thank you,” said McGonagall, “I think Professor Snape and I need to have a small discussion with the rest of the participants in this little endeavour.” McGonagall considered the Slytherin for a moment. “The Auror is interested in your safety, child, but be aware that Professor Snape will be having words with you later.” Snape murmured his agreement.

“Yes, Professor,” came the small voice from the Slytherin.

“I’ll come with you, kid,” said Charlie, as Snape and McGonagall shot glances at him. “Madam Pomfrey and I go way back.”

“Quite,” said McGonagall. “The rest of you, my office, now.”

“Tell Madam Pomfrey I’ll be along soon,” said Snape, looking at Tonks. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Tonks put her hand on the Slytherin’s shoulder and steered them towards the hospital wing. Charlie fell into step with the two of them. The Slytherin began to relax as Charlie told them about various quidditch injuries which had landed him in the hospital wing over the years.

The hospital wing was empty when they walked in. Tonks directed the Slytherin to a bed and went with Charlie to the office at the end of the ward. She knocked on the door and heard Poppy say, “Come in.” Tonks opened the door. “Tonks? Charlie?” Poppy put down the papers she’d been reading and got up from the desk. “Whatever brings you here?” Charlie gestured into the ward. Poppy started to make her way through her office.

“Slytherin vs Gryffindor,” said Charlie, stepping out of Poppy’s way as Tonks did the same. “McGonagall and Snape have taken the rest for, uh, a talking to.”

“We’d just finished guard duty when we heard them in the entrance hall,” said Tonks. 

Poppy strode through the hospital wing and called back to Tonks and Charlie, “I’ll be with you in a moment.” They watched her assess the Slytherin, casting spells which caused different lights to bounce around the child. There were a few winces and groans as damage was discovered and repaired. Poppy came back into the office and went to her potions cupboards. She had her head in one and there was the clinking of glass vials, when she said, “It’s always lovely to see familiar faces.”

“We missed you, Madam Pomfrey,” said Charlie. “It’s was always a good quidditch match if someone ended up here.”

“Indeed,” said Poppy, emerging from the cupboard to put vials on the desk. She glanced at Tonks and Charlie before heading towards another of the cupboards. “The two of you didn’t limit yourselves to quidditch injuries, either.”

“We didn’t want to bore you with the same old bludger hits,” said Charlie, absentmindedly scratching his head. Tonks laughed. Poppy put more vials on the desk and locked the cupboards with a wave of her wand. “Or have you getting lonely in this big old place.”

“No,” said Poppy, fixing them both with an amused gaze, her smirk growing, “the two of you always made sure the other didn’t get lonely.” She gathered the vials onto a tray. “As I recall, you both showed an admirable dedication to making sure the other’s recuperation went well.” Tonks blushed and Charlie coughed.

“I better be getting back to Hogsmeade,” said Charlie, and Poppy snorted as she double checked labels. “See you, Madam Pomfrey.” He gave Tonks a quick hug. “Love you, Tonks.”

“You, too, Charlie,” said Tonks, and with that, Charlie made a brisk exit. Tonks glanced at Poppy, still pink at the edges. “Severus said he’d be up here once he and Professor McGonagall are done with the other students.”

“You’re welcome to wait here,” said Poppy, smiling at the relief flooding through Tonks. “And do sit down.”

“Thank you,” said Tonks. Poppy left the office and closed the door behind her. Tonks sunk down onto the chair on the other side of the desk to Poppy’s. Elbows on the desk, she rubbed her face and yawned. She crossed her arms and rested her cheek against her arms. She stared at the books lining the wall and yawned. She was asleep within moments.

Snape walked into the hospital wing and saw Poppy administering potions to the Slytherin who had been spared the wrath of two heads of house. At least, temporarily. 

“Well?” said Snape, and amidst tears, he heard yet another version of the early morning events. He let the student carry on for a few minutes before he could see them working themselves into an unhelpful panic. “That will do.” 

“They were up through the night worrying,” said Poppy, looking at the child, “they’ve not slept, and they are going to rest just now, isn’t that right?” The child nodded and pulled the blankets up.

“Detentions will have to wait, then,” said Snape. “But there will be detentions, do you understand me?” There was another nod, and he started to walk away.

“One moment,” said Poppy, and Snape stopped, turning back to look at her. “My office, if you please.” She looked at the child again. “Rest.” Poppy picked up the tray of mostly empty vials and Snape followed her to the office. Poppy opened the door gently, having some idea of what she might find. Tonks was sound asleep, head on her arms, on the desk. Inside the office, Snape closed the door quietly as Poppy put her tray on a small table. Snape walked over to the desk and sat on the edge of it beside where Tonks was sound asleep. He pushed her hair away from her cheek and she didn’t twitch.

“Bad night?” said Poppy, softly, seeing the edges of stress still lingering in him. He nodded, not taking his eyes off Tonks. He stroked her cheek and still she didn’t stir. “You worry about whether there can be a future and yet we both know where she wants to spend the next few hours.”

“A few hours doesn’t make a future,” said Snape.

“She isn’t doing any of this without thinking of the future,” said Poppy. “Given how tired she is, perhaps there will be more in your futures in a few months time.”

“I take back every kind thing I’ve said about you,” said Snape, glancing up at Poppy. At her quiet laugh, he managed a small smile. “We’re in a war, Poppy.” He rubbed his face with his free hand. “And if you really thought Tonks was pregnant, you would have found an excuse to check her over by now.”

“I would have tried to be subtle,” said Poppy.

“Draco is enough work as it is.” His gaze returned to Tonks and she sighed heavily in her sleep. “And if there’s anything of a future - ”

“There will be one,” said Poppy. Tonks sighed more heavily and turned her head back towards her hands, stretching her shoulders. Snape stroked her hair and she turned to look up at him bleary eyed. She smiled softly.

“Severus,” she said, before covering her mouth to yawn, then rubbing her eyes. She raised her head, and squinting, looked around the room. She groaned. “Sorry, Madam Pomfrey.”

“It’s fine, child,” said Poppy. “You’re exhausted, it’s no wonder you’re falling asleep.” Tonks tried to stand up and when she stumbled, Snape caught her. Poppy looked at him with amused concern as he pulled Tonks close. She stood between his legs and leant against him. She reached for his hand and intertwined her fingers with his. She looked at Poppy with an apologetic smile. Poppy approached, arms crossed, concern etched on her face. “Forgive me, but may I check you over?” Snape rolled his eyes. “You Aurors don’t take care of yourselves the way you should.” Snape stroked her hip with his free hand. She leaned against him more heavily and he wondered how she was managing to stand at all.

“Sure,” said Tonks, with another yawn. Poppy gave Tonks a thorough once over, smiling when Tonks kept closing her eyes for long moments as she was nudged this way and that. Tonks was exhausted, that much was clear. When Poppy might otherwise have been done, she cast one more charm. “I saw that.” Tonks smiled and squeezed Snape’s hand. Snape smirked and Poppy laughed. “Do I have an aura today?” She yawned again. “I had Moody asking if I was pregnant, and now I think all of Hogsmeade knows my period is due, or at least most of the Hog’s Head does.”

“I worry, child,” said Poppy. “You’re not pregnant, but you are exhausted.” Poppy stroked Tonks’s cheek. “You need to look after yourself.” Poppy reached to nudge Snape’s shoulder. “And this one needs to make sure you’re eating and sleeping enough when you’re hiding away in his quarters.”

“As if we’d do anything else,” said Tonks, mischief sneaking through her tiredness. 

“Get her to bed,” said Poppy. “To sleep in bed.”

“We’ll be good,” said Tonks, wobbling when she tried to straighten up. Snape caught her and Poppy frowned. Tonks groaned and pawed at her eyes. "Right, exhausted."

"It's one thing to be doing twelve hour patrols," said Poppy, "but doing them overnight, and in these temperatures." Tonks forced herself to stand up straight. She knew she could have done another twelve if only she hadn't had the brief reminder of sleep. She had done it too often before. Of course, another twelve hours and she might simply fall straight back down. She had done that before, too. Snape and Poppy watched Tonks make small deliberate movements and stretches and regain her poise as an Auror. "I'm not convinced, child." Tonks stepped out of Snape's hold. He stood up and exchanged a worried glance with Poppy.

"I've duelled Death Eaters on less sleep," said Tonks, turning towards the door and disappearing under a Disillusionment Charm. 

Snape and Poppy watched the door open slowly and saw the shimmer pass through the doorway. They followed Tonks through the ward until there was a gasp and a yelp as Tonks smacked against the floor. Snape and Poppy glanced at each other and the student who had been startled from sleep. Both aware that they had to hold back. In the flurry of swearing and the swish of Tonks’s heavy cloak being dragged around her as she tried to get up, the small Slytherin screamed. They pointed a few feet to the left of where Snape and Poppy could see the shimmer of Tonks’s Disillusionment Charm which disappeared from view more easily in the low candlelight of the ward. If she lifted the charm now it would raise too many questions. Tonks could feel blotchiness spreading across her cheeks.

“Ghost!” said the child. “There - over there! - there's something there!” The child pulled the blankets up and kept pointing. The calm of their head of house was of little reassurance and they didn’t know Poppy well enough to judge by her reactions.

“Bloody Baron,” said Snape, displeased at how quickly the Bloody Baron and the Fat Friar appeared through the wall of the hospital wing. The child looked even more scared at the sight of their house ghost. The Bloody Baron wasn’t known for his kindness.

“Yes?” said the Bloody Baron, staring at Tonks, who had her finger against her lips. The Fat Friar looked concerned and kept glancing back and forth between Tonks and the Bloody Baron. “Whatever has happened?”

“Baron,” said Snape, “as you can see what we clearly cannot, would you kindly tell the young member of your house that this is a friendly entity?”

“Why ever should I?” said the Bloody Baron. Snape looked up at the ceiling, arms crossed. “The child is of my house but this creature isn’t.”

“Creature?” squeaked the child.

“Friar,” said Snape, taking a deep breath. “Perhaps you could assist?”

“Child,” said the Fat Friar, “there is nothing to fear here.” He looked at Tonks who was making pleading gestures at the Bloody Baron. The Bloody Baron was frowning at her. “Professor Snape is right in that this is a friendly entity.” 

Tonks turned to look at the child and stumbled on her cloak again, grabbing a chair and causing it to topple and slide across the floor. The child shrieked, a quiet sob slipped from Tonks, and the Bloody Baron glided closer to her. Snape walked across the ward to pick up the chair and Poppy took the chance to go to the child’s bedside, the Fat Friar with her.

Tonks knelt on the floor, wiping her face with her sleeve. The Bloody Baron was inches from her and she could feel the chill emanating from him. Snape watched the Bloody Baron loom over the shimmer on the floor. He couldn’t hear Tonks or the Bloody Baron beyond the quietest of murmuring. Snape did catch the Fat Friar’s gaze shooting across the ward in surprise before darting to Snape. The Bloody Baron glided over to the child’s bed, chains clanking as he crossed his arms.

“You will trust my word,” said the Bloody Baron. “Do you understand me?” The child nodded furiously, clutching tissues Poppy had given them. The Fat Friar was kind and lovely, but the child was still wary of the Hufflepuff ghost. “This is not an entity to be afraid of.”

“Is it like Peeves?” said the child.

“This is not a spirit of chaos,” said the Bloody Baron. The Fat Friar smiled, and even Snape and Poppy managed small smiles, though the Bloody Baron remained solemn. “It is tired and concerned they have caused you fright.” Snape watched Tonks standing in the middle of the ward, a column of shimmering. He could hear her ragged breathing.

“Can ghosts sleep?” said the child, head tilting as fear was lost to curiosity. The Bloody Baron glided closer and bent over the bed causing the child to lean back and sink down in the bed, fear returning.

“No one has called this creature a ghost,” said the Bloody Baron, “and you would do well to listen.” He glided back a few inches. “This creature will leave once they know if you are unharmed by their presence.”

“I - I’m okay,” said the child, staring at the space where the chair had been and where Tonks was several feet from.

“You may encounter this creature again as they spend considerable time in the dungeons,” said the Bloody Baron.

“Baron,” said Snape, a warning in his voice.

“But they're not a Slytherin creature?” said the child, perking up, and squinting at the space where Tonks wasn’t. Poppy was shooting Snape glances and had her hand over her mouth, but he could still see her shoulders shaking gently with suppressed laughter.

“They have a strong association with our house,” said the Bloody Baron. There was an echo of quiet laughter and sniffing from across the ward and everyone looked to where Tonks was. “And they are loyal to our house.” The Bloody Baron was staring intently at the child. “You understand what this means, yes?” The child nodded and Poppy looked curiously at them while Snape smiled. She glanced at Snape and his smile turned into a smirk. “I will escort them from the hospital wing now.”

“Thank you, Baron,” said the child, in quiet awe. The Bloody Baron nodded and glided towards Tonks with the Fat Friar by his side. Snape, Poppy, and the child watched the ghosts pause. Snape and Poppy caught the shimmer moving and Snape suspected Tonks had given them a curtsy. The Bloody Baron nodded at Tonks and led the way out of the hospital wing.

“I must away, too,” said Snape. He looked at the child. “Behave.”

“Yes, Sir,” said the child.

“I’ll walk you out,” said Poppy.

Tonks had lifted the Disillusionment Charm and Snape noted the Bloody Baron and the Fat Friar quietly watching each end of the corridor. Poppy closed the doors to the hospital wing behind them as Tonks put her arms around Snape’s neck. He slipped his arms beneath her cloak and stroked her back. She sniffed again and gave a hiccoughing sob.

“Loyal to your house?” said Poppy, watching the pair. Snape shielding Tonks even in the quiet space of the corridor. Tonks embracing him with a natural ease. 

“Yes?” said Snape.

“I’m sorry,” said Tonks, her voice muffled as she tried to hide in Snape’s embrace. She winced. "My head." Poppy cast again a handful of spells.

"You need sleep, child," said Poppy. "And Moody needs to be giving you all more time off."

"Need to protect Hogsmeade from Death Eaters," said Tonks. Poppy stroked Tonks's cheek and her eyelids fluttered open.

“This Death Eater needs you, too,” said Poppy. "Get her to bed, Severus.” She looked at Tonks. "And don't think I won't know if you've been behaving yourself." Tonks scrunched up her eyes.

“The baby,” said Tonks, yawning, “the little Slytherin.” Poppy and Snape looked at her curiously. “Your Slytherin kid, the one I terrified, and the others, are they okay?”

“They’re reconsidering their methods,” said Snape. “The Slytherins may even learn something.”

“I wonder how your children would be sorted,” said Poppy, lightly. Tonks laughed, the tired sounds echoing in the corridor. Snape held her closer. “You’d have to have several to get a definitive answer, of course.”

“Stop putting ideas in her head,” said Snape, stroking her back.

“They’re already there, Severus,” said Poppy, patting his shoulder. Tonks sighed heavily and sounded close to sleep again.

Tonks's head was swimming as Snape led her down corridors. The Bloody Baron and the Fat Friar accompanied them on the longer labyrinthine route through rarely used corridors and passageways. She swallowed and screwed up her eyes. It wasn’t much further. She could see the door to his quarters. She gripped his hand more tightly and he saw how much paler she’d become on the walk. He stopped when he saw her sway. She slumped against the wall, her shoulder scraping the stone as she doubled over and threw up. Her grip on him didn’t loosen as she clutched her stomach. He glanced back down the corridor and aside from the Bloody Baron and the Fat Friar, they were alone. Tonks groaned and wiped her mouth with her sleeve.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, trying to straighten up and look at him. Snape cleaned the floor with a wave of his wand and scooped up Tonks in his arms, her cloak blustering around them both. She leaned against him and wrapped her fingers around the edge of his robes. Her head had turned from swimming to splitting and she closed her eyes.

“Being a head of house gives you something of an immunity to people being sick,” said Snape. Tonks’s laugh was more like a groan. The Bloody Baron and Fat Friar were a few feet behind Snape and Tonks, and followed them into his quarters. The lamps lit up as he walked. He tried to ignore the Bloody Baron’s clanking chains and the Fat Friar’s fretful sighs. He took Tonks straight through to the bedroom and put her down on the bed. He sat beside her and she leaned against him as he undid her cloak and robes. She watched the Bloody Baron and the Far Friar through half-open eyes as they glided around the end of the bed, the flickering of the firelight against their glow worsening her dizziness. 

“She isn’t meant to be with child,” said the Bloody Baron.

“She has a name,” said Tonks, and Snape laughed as he eased the cloak and robes from her shoulders. She managed to move so that he could take them from her completely. The Bloody Baron huffed.

“We weren’t eavesdropping,” said the Fat Friar, “we were - ”

“You aren’t meant to be with child,” said the Bloody Baron, gaze squarely on Tonks. Snape helped Tonks sit up against the pillows before taking her boots off. 

“I’m not,” said Tonks, wincing as she placed her hand on her abdomen, “didn’t people have periods in the 11th century?” Snape had his back to the ghosts and she watched him bite his lip to stop from laughing as the Bloody Baron made sounds of stuttering outrage. The Fat Friar coughed and looked up at the ceiling. “Baron?”

“Yes?” said the Bloody Baron, with his more usual air of displeasure. Tonks’s boots off, Snape left the bedroom, slinging his robes over a chair on his way out. 

“Thank you for reassuring that kid,” said Tonks, “in the hospital wing.” The dregs of her energy were waning and she pawed at her eyes while trying to keep her focus on the door. She glanced at the Bloody Baron. “I - it meant a lot to me - what you said.” Snape came back through with a glass of water and a damp cloth. He sat beside her and she sat up, albeit leaning against him.

“Do not make me regret it,” said the Bloody Baron, coldly, and with that, he glided up through the ceiling, the Fat Friar behind him with an apologetic smile to Tonks. Tonks pressed the damp cloth against her face and tried to take deep breaths as the cold dulled and sharpened different aches in her head. She bundled the cloth in her hand and pressed her fingertips into her forehead. Snape took the cloth and gave her the glass of water. He put his arm around her as she sipped the water, the glass in both hands. When the effort to bring the glass to her lips again was too much, she handed the glass back. The glass and the cloth on the bedside table, she turned towards him and started to curl up. He sat back against the pillows and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Comfortable?” he said, amused at the contortion she had settled into. He could feel her body heavy with sleep as she settled against him. He stroked her back and she moaned quietly. He summoned blankets from the wooden chest at the end of the bed and pulled them over her.

“Safe,” mumbled Tonks. She fumbled through the fog of sleep until she found his hand and he intertwined his fingers with hers. 

“Nox,” said Snape.


	25. Chapter 25

Snape was woken by Tonks’s groans of pain. He had dozed in between rearranging blankets and pillows around them each time she had moved over the past few hours. She began to stretch, still holding onto him, her eyes screwed up.

“Bludgers,” mumbled Tonks, pushing her hand into her abdomen then rubbing her legs. “Feel like I’ve been hit by bludgers.” He stroked her back and she opened her eyes. “Merlin, lots of bludgers.”

“Good morning,” he said. She smiled when she looked up at him, before succumbing to another wave of pain. “Theoretically.” Her laugh was short and followed by a moan. She turned away from him and got out of the bed. She stood up and stumbled, grabbing the end of the bed. “Tonks.” Snape got out of bed, aching gently from where Tonks kept herself curled up against him.

“I’m fine,” she said. She straightened up and spread her arms a little when she began to wobble.

“Can you walk?” he said, walking around the bed to stand behind her. She closed her eyes when his hands rested on her hips.

“Perfectly,” she said, stepping out of his hold with stiff movements, her hands being drawn like magnets to her abdomen. He watched her lean heavily on the chair when she had to bend down and pick up her wand. She didn’t look back but rubbed her back as she left the bedroom. He heard her swear when there was a thumping sound against the stone walls before the bathroom door opened and closed.

Tonks’s wand trailed sparks as she padded through to the main living area. She rubbed her eyes and saw Snape on the sofa, legs crossed, with stacks of books nearby and the table laden with lunch.

“Definitely not pregnant,” said Tonks, sitting down beside him, and peering at the book Snape was reading. He put his arm around her.

“Congratulations,” said Snape, not looking up. He passed an open book to her. “Recognise this?”

“That was a regular feature of my nightmares before sitting the N.E.W.T.s,” she said. He took the book back and showed her another spread of open pages. “Auror training.” He put that book on the floor and picked up another which he began to flip through.

“Eat,” he said, lingering on a page before carrying on through the book, “or Poppy shall leave me with no choice but to hide with the Dark Lord to escape her wrath.” Tonks pulled the book he was reading onto her lap. He reached over to the table, picked up a plate of food and held it in front of her. She took a sandwich and held onto the book, laughing as he sighed and put the plate back.

“What are you up to?” she said.

“Why aren’t you back in bed?” he said. Tonks looked down at the book and ate the sandwich, brushing crumbs off the old illustrated and potion-stained pages.

“You knew I’d stay awake,” she said, “or you wouldn’t have requested lunch.”

“That as it may be,” he said, “you need more rest.”

“I haven’t fallen down once since waking up,” she said.

“Yes,” he said, “quite the achievement to brag about while you’re sitting down.” Tonks ate the last of the sandwich and shoved the book back at him. She stood up, walked to the other side of the room, and did a twirl. She wobbled and grabbed a bookcase. Snape was trying not to smile. “Very impressive.”

“Better than earlier,” she said, walking slowly back to the sofa, and sinking down beside him. “Thank you.” She glanced up at him but his gaze was on the book in front of him. He turned another page. “For the hospital wing and bringing me back.”

“I’m surprised you remember any of it,” he said, “you were asleep on your feet.”

"Surprised?" she said. "Or hoping that I didn't remember any of it?"

"If Poppy is to be believed, it wouldn't make a difference."

“Severus,” she said. He turned to look at her, and she pulled him closer. Her hand drifted up from his shirt to his neck and then she was leaning closer. “Kiss me or I shall hex you.”

“Which hex?” he said, his lips brushing hers. She laughed and kissed him. He broke the kiss but put his arm around her. He pressed his lips to her hair and she leant against him.

“I’m okay,” she said.

“You say that and I’m yet to be convinced you could conjure a hex,” he said. She ducked when her hex bounced off his shield and hit the wall. He repaired the wall with a lazy flick of his wand. She wriggled onto her back and he moved the book so she could rest her head on his lap. Her feet dangled over the arm of the sofa. He watched her mouth as she spoke the incantations to seek out Dark Magic. The glow of old magic filled the room as she moved her wand above her. She kept her gaze on the ceiling as she worked through the incantations until the tiredness crept through her and she lowered her arm. She didn’t see where the light changed in different spots around the edge of the room. He put his hand on her abdomen and she closed her eyes and sighed. The old magic lingered around them, as it had in Poppy’s office, for longer than it should have. His hand strayed up under her top and his fingers traced patterns on her skin. “That wasn’t a hex.”

“The other one was,” she said.

“I thought you were merely warming up,” he said. She sat up, wand at her side, and leaned in to kiss him. Her hex bounced off his shield, this time shattering an empty mug. “Reparo.” She rested her forehead against his and laughed. Her laugh settled into a low groan. She put her wand down and curled up beside him. His arm around her, she rested her hands on his. He summoned a book from one of the stacks and flipped through the pages of potions. “Do you know this one?” She glanced at the page and huffed.

“Had it when I was at St Mungos,” she said, “after the attack on the Ministry.” He stroked her stomach, her hand moving with him. “One of the many splendid things I was given.” She took a deep breath and glanced at him before sitting up, her back to him, and pulling her top off. Thin purple lines grew like the skeleton of a tree in winter from below the edge of her trousers, trailing up across her back to nudge at the band of her bra. He had wondered where the scar came from when he first saw it. She turned her head, resting her chin on her shoulder as she watched him. He caught her gaze and she turned away, staring at her hands in her lap.

“You don’t have to tell me who did it,” he said.

“Because you know or because you don’t want me to get upset?” she said, with a hollow laugh.

“Because you’re under no obligation to talk about it,” he said. His touch on her waist was all the encouragement she needed to move. She huffed and winced but didn’t stop until she was straddling him.

“Bellatrix,” she said, taking his hand from her waist and placing it on her chest. “I don’t remember anything after her cursing me.” She fiddled with the buttons on the cuff of his shirt, her attention focused on undoing them. “Kingsley told me that after she cursed me, I fell off the stairway and down into the chamber.” She let the sleeve fall back so she could see the edges of his Dark Mark. She rubbed her thumb over the dark stain on his skin and looked at him from beneath her lashes. “You knew.”

“Yes,” he said.

“Who told you?” she said. Her fingers still on his Dark Mark, he brought his other hand round to stroke her stomach. “Who told you first?”

“Bellatrix mentioned it,” he said. “Subtlety has never been one of her strengths.”

“How much did she suffer for not getting the prophecy?” she said, her voice cooling and taking the room down in temperature with it. Her touch on his Dark Mark turned to an unconscious grip so tight her knuckles turned white. Her eyes were fixed on his. He knew that she would likely scare others as her breaths came in a steady rhythm while her lips looked ready to let curses fly free but he could see the warmth in her eyes and feel the fire beneath her touch. None of her aunt’s brittle iciness. None of the malicious creeping cold which inhabited his associates.

“The Order was told that those who fought were punished by the Dark Lord,” he said.

“Severus,” she said, with a sharp intensity which startled her. She released his wrist as if it had burned again and she looked down at the fading marks from where her fingers gripped him. She scrambled off him and stumbled back. He grabbed her wrists before she could take another step.

“Tonks.”

“That’s what I’m from,” she choked out, as he pulled her back down. Her eyes shone and her steady breaths had given way to panicked heaving.

“Stop it,” he said, releasing her wrists once she was back where she had been a moment before. She buried her face in his shoulder and put her arms around his neck. She moved until she could press herself no closer to him.

He pulled her arms from around him. “Severus,” she said, her voice breaking as she pleaded with him. Her eyes darted down in panic, tears tracing the curves of her cheeks. He took her face in his hands.

“There is only one Death Eater here,” he said, once she looked at him.

“I've killed people,” said Tonks.

“I know,” he said. Her eyes flashed to his. Of course he would know.

“No one forced me to become an Auror,” she said. “I'm not bound or under vows.”

“Keep yourself that way,” he said. “Tonks?” He stroked her cheek with his thumb then brought his hands back to her waist. “Why does this matter?”

“Is it enough to be surrounded by people who love you when you’re surrounded by Death Eaters, too?” she said.

“I think it depends on who is aiming their wand at you,” he said, slowly, “and who you’re aiming your wand at.” She picked up her wand from the sofa and brought the tip of it to his throat. The side of his mouth pulled up in a smile and she kept her wand where it was. Not taking her eyes from his, with her other hand, she picked up his wand from where it lay on the sofa beside them and placed it in his hand at her waist. The moment she released his wand, her eyes screwed up and she gasped as her hand flew to her abdomen. Her wand slipped from his throat, her hand dropping to slam into him and grasp his shirt. She bent forward, her face carved with pain.

“Tonks?”

“It’s been worse since Bellatrix,” she said, panting. She swallowed and winced. “Since the ministry.”

“And the constant patrols you’ve been doing," he said, quietly, "and the extra work for the Order?” She nodded.

“It’s fine,” she said, opening her eyes. “It’ll ease up in a minute, it usually does.”

“What have you taken?”

“I forgot I was due and guard duty got in the way,” she said, the roaring pain beginning to lessen, “then the falling down and throwing up foiled my plans to raid your stores.” She groaned and her grip began to loosen. She released his shirt and dropped her wand.

“Why didn’t you ask Poppy?" he said.

"She was busy and I fell asleep as soon as I sat down," she said. "And I was waiting for you." His hand drifted around to the small of her back and she looked up at him as she felt heat move through her in pulsing waves. “What is that?” He shrugged.

“Old magic,” he said, and the pulsing eased until it stopped. He stroked her back.

“Don’t stop,” she said. “Please.” She still felt as though there was a tournaments worth of bludgers coming at her, but there had been a moment of ease. A moment of relief in it all. The heat returned. “That’s not old magic.”

“All magic is old,” he said.

“Severus,” she said.

“Dark Magic isn’t always simple to define,” he said. “This is just a case of not putting enough effort into something which done properly wouldn’t give you any ease at all.” She stilled. “It won’t harm you.”

"I didn't think you would hurt me," she said. He stroked her cheek with his other hand and she leant into his touch. She relaxed in his lap, her body freeing itself of more tension. Her eyes half open, she watched him. "Who are you aiming your wand at?"

"No one right now," he said. She pinned his shoulders to the sofa and he narrowed his eyes. She moved against him causing his hand to slip. “Tonks, what has got into you?”

“You,” she said. She got off him in a rush, pushing herself away from him and stumbling as she got up. She turned away from him, and walked across the room. She spread her hands on the wall and pushed against it. She was sniffing and gasping. Bludgers everywhere. She felt him come up behind her and put his hands on her hips. "What would happen if we had to duel each other?" His kissed her still bare shoulder. "If there was a skirmish and I was on duty and you were there as a Death Eater on Voldemort’s orders?" Heat returned to his hands, and as they drifted up across her body she pushed against the wall, pressing herself against him. He kissed her neck and she arched her back

“Severus,” she pleaded, her voice ragged.

“You already know the answer to that,” he said, and a strangled cry burst out of her. Each inhalation and exhalation was punctuated by pain. She pushed away from the wall and leaned her head back as tears escaped down her cheeks. He kissed her neck again as his hand traced the curve of her heaving chest and settled on her shoulder. At the nudge on her shoulder she turned. She leant against the wall and pulled him towards her. Her red rimmed eyes searched his. She wiped away tears and tried to hold back a new tide of them.

“I still want this,” she said, “what we have.” She kissed him though each breath came with the threat of more tears. “I don't even know what it is but I know I want it.”

“We would duel,” he said. "I, because I have no choice, and you, because you know I have no choice." He kissed her again then pulled away. “That you don't wish to know if I want this, however.” He kissed her jaw. “I'm touched.”

“I don't need to,” she said, quietly. “I trust you.”

“Except in a duel,” he said.

“Where I don't trust myself,” she said, with a sad smile. His wand traced her leg, then he stepped back and cast wards around the room. The lamps went out and the fire was their only light. He summoned her wand and threw it to her. She threw a shield up in time to see the hex stopped only inches from her face. “Death Eaters don't respect duelling etiquette, huh?”

“Your technique is so poor you need the heads up?” he said. He cast another hex at her. They duelled until a stray plate exploded in a spectacular manner. “The house-elves won't be happy.”

“I'll give them a good show next time they're here,” she said.

She clutched her stomach and bent over. His wand lowered a fraction and she shot a hex which he blocked at the last moment. She winced only a little as she straightened up with a wicked grin.

He laughed despite himself. Within the wards, lights flew around them. She noticed his Dark Mark, the cuff still unbuttoned, and she started to cast spells which tiptoed beyond the edge of what she would confess to knowing to any but a few. Spells her mother had taught her. Just in case. And she was duelling a Death Eater, after all. He watched her curiously and she felt him respond in kind. The magic surrounding them cast a near constant glow and lingered, smothering the warmth in the room. Tonks's skin ran with goosebumps and she pushed up her bra strap.

“Been enjoying the show?” she said. He shrugged.

“I cannot deny you are a more pleasant sight than my associates,” he said.

“Pleasant?” She hurled a particularly vicious hex which shattered like a firework against his shield.

She fell to her knees and dropped her wand. Her abdomen transected by searing cramps. He managed to shield her from his hex, the jet of light bouncing off the curve of her spine as the shield hugged her form and she sunk forward, her hands hitting the floor. He crossed the room and crouched down beside her.

“I'm fine,” she ground out, the pain already lessening. He stroked her back and she reached out, patting the floor until she found her wand. He held out his hand and she grabbed a hold of him. He rose gently, reaching for her other arm. She pushed against him as she stood up and he didn’t flinch as her fingernails dug into his hands. Standing up, she leant against him, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. He put an arm around her waist. The change in magic rippled through the room as he lowered the extra wards and repaired the bits of damage within the space. “I feel perfectly pleasant.”

“Is that why you were reading about potions which can keep you awake for days at a time?” he murmured. With slow movements, she raised her head so she could kiss his jaw. She slipped her wand in her trouser pocket. She undid the buttons on his shirt and his grasp on her waist tightened a fraction. She slipped her hand under his shirt and kissed his neck. “Tonks.”

“The book looked interesting,” she said. Her hands drifted down between them and she undid his belt, pausing to rub her abdomen. She shook her head as if she could shake off the pain. He took a step back to lean against the wall and she went willingly with him.

“It’s a fascinating read,” he said, groaning when she slipped her hand inside his trousers. She kissed his neck again.

“I read about lots of potions in that book,” she said, her breath hot on his neck as she took him in her hand, “that happened to be the one I was reading about when you came in.” He groaned again and swore. He held her closer and kissed her. “I was curious about how it was made.”

“Answer the question, Tonks,” he said. He swore again and she laughed. She pressed her lips to his. He deepened the kiss and eased her bra down, giving in to the temptation which had only increased when they duelled.

“Not fair,” she murmured.

“Completely fair,” he said. He sought her mouth again and she gave in to the lazy pleasure of him throbbing at her touch. When he came, she kissed his jaw and neck while he leant his head back against the wall. With a wave of his wand he cleaned up. She did up his belt while he stroked her back. “I still want an answer.” She readjusted her bra then slid her hands back beneath his shirt.

“Pleasant?” she said, looking at him, eyes narrowed.

“More pleasant,” he said. “You keep forgetting the more.”

“More pleasant?” she said. He hooked his fingers through the belt loops on her trousers.

“That potion kills easily,” he said, “that it’s not illegal is only because it’s so volatile few would be willing to risk injury while brewing it, let alone risk the unpredictable effects of actually taking it when death usually occurs before an antidote can be administered.”

"I know I couldn't have made it," she said, quietly, staring at the buttons on his shirt.

"What about the others?" he said.

"Going to give me detention?" He tugged on the belt loops and she stepped between his legs, still pressing her hands against his body, her fingertips making slow work of tracing the scars beneath her touch.

He hesitated. She closed the distance and kissed him. His hands cupping her face, he pulled away. "Your life is at risk as it is." She stole a kiss and winced. "People need you, Tonks." He nudged her shoulders and gestured for her to turn around. "Your family, your friends, your fellow Aurors."

"I don't know how Gawain would live without me." She leant against him as he placed his hands on her abdomen. She moaned as the heat penetrated her.

"You're a powerful Auror, Tonks, don't pretend otherwise."

“More pleasant?” she said, turning her head to look at him, though her voice was thick and her eyes shone as she tried to smile. He swept her hair from her neck then put his hand on her abdomen again. He kissed her neck and she leaned more heavily against him. "Severus?"

"Spare me apologies."

"I - I'm terrified of the war," she said, as his lips returned to her neck. "I don't want to let people down."

"Hufflepuff."

"I want a future with you," she whispered. He sighed and rested his forehead on her shoulder. He held out his hand and summoned her top. She put it on, huffing at the sudden cold around her. She wiped her face with her sleeve. He took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom. He stopped in front of a bookcase and pulled out the small book with the sea of scuff marks which she had read before in bed. He let her hand go and flipped through pages. When he found the potion he was looking for he held the book out in front of her.

“Do you know of this one?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. He snapped the book shut, took her hand again, and led her through to the lab. She looked at him, confusion flooding her features, when he lay the book open on the bench at the potion he had just asked her about.

“Time to sing for your supper,” he said.

“You want me to brew this?”

“It won’t take long.”

“And if I screw it up?” she said. “If I make it explode?”

“If you managed to make a mess of this,” he said, "let alone make it explode, you would have to be invoking malevolent forces such as would terrify even the Dark Lord.”

“Don’t underestimate me,” she muttered.

“I’m not,” he said. “I remain impressed by what you did to that Invigoration Draught.”

She watched him warily as she braided her hair into a long plait which she twisted into a bun and put a sticking charm on. She shot him another glance before resting her elbows on the bench and resting her chin on her hands as she read through the instructions for the potion. He leant against the bench and did up the buttons of his shirt. Arms crossed, he watched her work in near silence as she gathered supplies and started to brew.

The print of the book was old and delicate with illustrations which would once have been vibrant but had faded to soft imitations of what they once were. Tonks rubbed her forehead and reread the step she was on. Snape had suspected if any part would trip her up, it would be this. She shot him a glance of frustration and fury before going back to the book. He stood behind her and rubbed her back. She reached for his hands and put them on her abdomen.

"Read it aloud," he said. She huffed but read out the paragraph. She swore. In slowing down to read aloud, she saw what her eyes had passed over before. Differentiated by only one letter, a subtle difference in technique was required, not the common method but an older one. Within another half hour, the potion in the cauldron had taken on a sheen like mother of pearl. Tonks kept looking back and forth between the cauldron and the book. Snape watched her pause to read the last of the instructions several times over.

“I did it,” she said. “I did, didn’t I?” She turned to look at him, her hands hesitant on his arms. “It’s not about to explode?” He laughed gently at her pure excitement and disbelief.

“I assure you it isn’t about to explode,” he said. “You’re right, you did it.” She glanced back at the potion before looking at him. She was bouncing gently on the balls of her feet. Her smile exultant. He laughed as she hugged him and glanced at the potion again before kissing him. He held her close as he summoned vials and bottled the potion before clearing up.

Tonks picked up a vial and turned it in the torchlight. “I’m still not sure what it does,” she said, tilting her head as she watched the potion move lazily in the vial. “The book was rather vague.” Snape shrugged.

“It’s somewhere between an Invigoration Draught and a pain relief potion,” he said. “It won’t sedate you or dull your senses and neither will it give you regrettable amounts of energy.” She opened the vial and bit her lip. “You can drink the whole thing.” She glanced at him then knocked back the contents of the vial. He snorted as she pulled a face then shrugged.

“I expected it to taste worse,” she said. “The potion mum taught me - ”

“Has hundreds of years worth of complaints about how it tastes,” he said, with an amused exasperation, “which also serves as an excellent way of seeing who’s been taking it.” Her lips parted in surprise. “Mention the taste and you can tell by the disgruntled expressions who has had to take it or endure hearing about it.” He took the empty vial from her hand and put it on the bench before taking her hand and leading her out of the lab.

“That’s - that’s so - ”

“Slytherin?” He laughed. “Feeling a difference yet?” She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back as he led her to the bedroom. He glanced at her.

“Less bludgers,” she said. It was as though all the sharp edges had been dulled and her body didn’t feel so tightly wound.

“Then you can sleep more easily,” he said. She stopped and he turned to look at her. She was staring at the bed. A glance at the clock and she sighed. “You have to, Tonks.” She started to walk to the bed, still holding onto him, but he didn’t move. “I don’t.”

“Voldemort?”

“Quidditch,” he said. She laughed in disbelief and looked at the ceiling. She turned to him and he let her lead him to the bed. She let his hand go as she crawled beneath the blankets and pulled pillows around her. He sat on the edge of the bed as she curled up, her dark eyes considering him, her eyelids already struggling to stay open.

“I could have made that potion explode,” she said, “couldn’t I?”

“I wouldn’t have let it get that far,” he said.

“Then why - ”

“Because if you’d known how risky it was, it would have made you nervous,” he said. “That’s why I was looking for one you didn’t know anything about.” She huffed and he stroked her cheek. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Who’s playing?” she said. He smirked as he pulled the blankets up over her shoulders and she laughed.

“According to the Bloody Baron you are loyal to this house.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m going to betray my own."

She was asleep before he left. She had tried to watch him get ready but her eyes closed for longer each time she blinked and sleep soon took her. He watched her from the doorway and cast a warming charm on the bed before leaving. When the main door to his quarters closed behind him, the Bloody Baron drifted through the wall of the bedroom, the Fat Friar with him. They watched Tonks sleep in something near peace. Now and again she would groan quietly before stretching and curling up again, her hand stretching across the bed to find only emptiness beside her. The Bloody Baron sighed, his chains clanking as he crossed his arms, and he left with the Fat Friar.


	26. Chapter 26

When Tonks woke, she was alone. She dressed and found a bag with enough vials for a couple of days beside her robes. She downed more potion before going through to the study she had passed by but never gone into. Sitting at the desk which was covered in parchment and books, she found a blank sheet and a quill. The quill in her hand, she wondered how she could sleep with him yet struggle to write a note for him. She put the quill back down.

With the quidditch game still in play, the castle was all but empty and uncomfortably quiet. Under the Disillusionment Charm, Tonks made it out of the castle with ease. She heard the cheers and boos from the quidditch pitch as she walked through the grounds. When the noise reached a fever pitch she glanced back. She wondered whose side was winning. At the edge of the forest, she lifted the Disillusionment Charm and lingered, wanting there not to be days until she would see him again, until she would share a bed with him again. She wanted his gentle touch on the small of her back. His lips on her neck and his hands on her hips. His fingers tracing patterns on her abdomen. She crossed her arms and bowed her head. Turning away from the castle, the grounds, him. She walked away.

She passed Dawlish and Proudfoot on her way back into Hogsmeade and they waved at one another from across the high street. For once, the village was drenched only in cold. Frost lingered at the edges of the streets and the sun was already setting, the touch of gold which had been vibrant on the castle stones already fading against the village buildings by the time Tonks made it to the Hog’s Head Inn. She greeted Aberforth and went to her room to leave the vials on the dresser before returning downstairs. Aberforth didn’t bother trying to hide his surprise when she asked for food. She took the bowl of stew and went to hide in a corner of the Inn. The old wooden benches battle scarred from decades of brawls were solid and warm, and she put her feet up, holding the bowl against her body. The heat wasn’t right. Wasn’t him. 

Aberforth’s cooking was homely and Tonks hugged the bowl, making slow progress while ignoring the handful of patrons occupying the Inn. Her focus drifted back and forth between the spoon and the fire. She had a clear line of sight to the fireplace and she tried to count the different burn marks from stray spells which bled into the sooty remains of the fire. She didn’t see Savage until they stood in front of her. Savage grabbed the bowl when Tonks jumped. They handed it back and sat down beside her, putting their feet up on a nearby chair. 

“You okay?” said Savage.

“Yeah,” said Tonks, “sorry, daydreaming.”

“Of a certain someone?”

“How’s Charlie?”

“Sound asleep,” said Savage.

“Enjoy the sex?” said Tonks, as Aberforth came over with a bowl of stew for Savage. “Sorry.” Tonks blushed, Savage snorted, and Aberforth rolled his eyes before stalking back to the bar muttering something about young people. “Well?”

“Someone’s bitter about their period, aren’t they?” said Savage, casting a Muffliato. Tonks shot them a glance.

“I threw up in front of him,” said Tonks, “and cried.” She frowned. “I can’t even remember how often I cried.” She poked at her stew with the spoon. “It was all very pleasant.”

“Hey, I actually threw up on Charlie a few weeks ago,” said Savage.

“Okay, you win,” said Tonks. “How come?”

“He took me to the reserve where he’s working,” said Savage, “this remote spot up on the mountains.” Savage winced at the memory and shook their head. “And he had this Romanian version of Firewhisky.” Tonks groaned. “I was fine until he apparated me back to his place.”

“Oh, Savage,” said Tonks, unable to stop herself grinning even as she tried to sound sorry. Savage laughed, glancing at Tonks, before stirring their stew and eating a mouthful. 

“You and Charlie have a good night?” said Savage. Tonks shrugged.

“Good to catch up,” said Tonks. She glanced at Savage and reached over to squeeze their leg before picking up her spoon again. “Thanks for not telling him, you know, everything.” Savage’s expression softened into worry, a half smile on their lips, as they looked at Tonks. “He figured out who my Slytherin is.” Tonks stared at her stew, willing it to spontaneously become a tool of divination. “And he was telling me about his Slytherin.”

“I think he’s the one,” said Savage, quietly. They glanced at Tonks. 

“I know he’s told you as much,” said Tonks, “he isn’t going to hide that.”

“He’s hiding me,” said Savage. “Not that I’m shouting from the rooftops about him, either.”

“Because you love each other,” said Tonks, staring at the ceiling and blinking several times in quick succession. “He wants to protect you.”

“Can we get back to talking about me, please?” said Savage. Tonks sniffed and gave a hiccoughing laugh. She rested her head on Savage’s shoulder, and Savage squeezed Tonks’s thigh. “Don’t pretend you aren’t thinking about it.”

“Charlie would choose you,” said Tonks. She looked up and saw Savage’s hesitant smile. “If it came down to it, he’d choose you, Savage.” Tonks sniffed again and wiped her face. “He protects the people he loves.” They reached for Tonks’s hand. 

“It could change - ”

“No it won’t.” She looked at Savage with an apologetic smile. “Dragon handler, werewolf, Death Eater,” said Tonks, with a mirthless laugh, “maybe it was destined to be a natural progression of men who - 

“Love you,” said Savage. Tonks looked at them with a weary expression. “Third time’s a charm, right?” Tonks couldn’t stop herself laughing, and then she was leaning in towards Savage who grabbed the two bowls before they could spill. They put the bowls on the table, then Savage put their arms around Tonks.

“I don’t know if he can risk loving anyone,” said Tonks.

When Tonks and Savage returned to the Hog’s Head at the end of their patrol, the frost was like a veil across the village, sunrise a distant notion as the torches pierced the darkness of night which clung comfortably to the world. 

Aberforth reached under the bar and pulled out a piece of mail. “Tonks,” he said, holding up the roll of parchment. 

“Thanks,” she said, taking the parchment from him. She drifted towards a bench near the fire and Savage followed, casting a Muffliato around their corner of the inn. Tonks ran her fingers over her name. His writing.

“Love letter?” said Savage.

“What?” said Tonks, looking up.

“Open it,” said Savage.

Tonks broke the seal and couldn’t stop a small laugh escaping her. The note read: 240 - 230.

“But who won?” said Tonks, as much to herself as to Savage.

“These are quidditch scores?” said Savage. Tonks nodded. “Who was playing?”

“Hufflepuff vs Slytherin,” said Tonks.

“Oh, Slytherin won,” said Savage.

“Or maybe he doesn’t want to admit that his house lost,” said Tonks.

“Nah,” said Savage, “Slytherin won.”

“How can you know that?” said Tonks.

“Because the only way you’ll be certain is by going back to him,” said Savage, grinning. They laughed as Tonks looked at the note again, biting her lip, and unable to stop herself smiling.

Sirius was sitting at the bottom of the staircase in the hallway, watching the front door of Grimmauld Place with half open eyes. When he heard the crack of apparition, he pulled himself up off the stairs and padded towards Tonks. She closed the door and he swept her up in his arms.

“I missed you,” he mumbled.

“How much sleep have you had?” said Tonks, pulling away and seeing his eyes heavy with tiredness. He made a dismissive gesture as she kissed him on the cheek. “I missed you, too.” They stood swaying gently. Both tired. Both relieved to feel the other and know the other was alive. Both not wanting to give away how much they felt that way. “Is Remus cooking?” The smell of hot food had drifted up from the kitchen, and despite her tiredness, Tonks conceded to herself that she was hungry.

“He had a hunch you might need breakfast,” said Sirius, leading Tonks down to the kitchen.

“Good morning,” said Remus, when Tonks entered the kitchen. He stepped away from the cooker and hugged Tonks. She relaxed in his embrace, a touch that felt easier than it had for years. She wandered back to the table and sat down beside Sirius. They leaned against each other and Tonks closed her eyes. “Your family really aren’t morning people.”

“Don’t be fooled,” said Sirius, sleepily. “Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa were always frighteningly morning people.” He patted Tonks’s leg. “I think it’s a Slytherin thing.” Tonks opened an eye and glanced at Remus.

“I’m not so sure,” said Remus, ladling out porridge into bowls, “during my year teaching, Draco never struck me as a morning person.”

“He’s a Malfoy,” said Sirius, with a grunt. Tonks gave a tired laugh.

“Thank you,” said Tonks, taking the bowl of porridge from Remus. She winced and put the bowl down. She rubbed her abdomen and closed her eyes as she took deep breaths. The potion was helping but she knew there were limits to what she could expect from it.

“Tonks?” said Remus, sitting down at the table.

“Bludgers,” she said.

“Still?” said Remus. She nodded. When he reached out, they held hands for a moment, squeezing gently before letting go.

“Bludgers?” said Sirius, pawing at his eyes, then poking the porridge with a spoon.

“Eat your breakfast,” said Tonks.

“How’s your man, then?” said Sirius, summoning a bowl of sugar and ignoring Remus’s glare as he tipped half the sugar on top of his porridge. Sirius picked up his bowl and held it close to him, stirring in the sugar and shaking his head in an attempt to wake up more. “Does he cook for you?”

“He has house-elves,” said Tonks, relishing the heat and realising how much cold still clung to her.

“House-elves?” said Sirius, perking up. Tonks’s gaze darted to him, then back to her porridge. She ate another mouthful. “Is he a pureblood?” She glanced in wide eyed uncertainty at Remus who subtly shook his head and pointed his spoon at himself and then her while Sirius poured more sugar into his porridge.

“Half-blood,” said Tonks.

“And he has house-elves?” said Sirius.

“Plenty of half-bloods have house-elves,” said Remus. 

“Where’s he from, then?” said Sirius.

“Britain,” said Tonks.

“Very specific,” said Remus, with an amused smile. Tonks blushed and looked down at her food. “He went to Hogwarts, I take it?”

“Yes,” said Tonks, stiffly.

“What house was he in?” said Sirius. Tonks ate another mouthful of porridge and stared at Sirius. “You keeping up the theme of Gryffindors?”

“No,” mumbled Tonks, her eyes darting to Remus again who was adding sugar to his porridge and thoroughly avoiding her gaze. Sirius looked at her, delighted.

“So there might be another Hufflepuff in the family?” said Sirius. “Or is he a Ravenclaw?” Remus was staring at the ceiling and Tonks knew he was biting his tongue. She could see the edges of a smile on his lips and when he looked at her, his smile grew. He stretched his leg under the table and his foot nudged hers gently.

“When are you going to make an honest werewolf of Remus?” said Tonks. Remus blushed as Sirius coughed. Tonks patted Sirius on the back and grinned at Remus.

People filtered into Grimmauld Place for the midweek Order meeting and before anyone else could take the space Charlie eased down beside Tonks and Savage on a small sofa. Tonks rested her head on his shoulder and Savage leant back with their feet up on a table. They’d arrived early and promptly napped. It was only as the room filled up that the two Aurors came to their senses. Tonks caught Remus’s gaze and smiled. He was in an armchair, a book going ignored on his lap, with Sirius perched on the armrest as he kept bouncing up and down to greet people and help Molly in the kitchen. Snape arrived with Dumbledore. While Dumbledore spoke to Remus and Sirius, Snape stayed near the doorway, arms crossed and looking for something in the room to keep his attention. Remus and Charlie glanced at Tonks, who did nothing more than look up to see who had come in before going back to talking to Savage.

Snape heard murmurs around the room and his surveying of the intricate coving in the room stalled when he heard Bellatrix’s name. From the edge of his vision he saw Tonks sit up a little straighter but otherwise give no indication that she’d heard, unlike Savage who had gone rigid.

“He trusts Snape.”

“Are we just going to start trusting every Slytherin?”

“They’re a Slytherin.”

“They might be in the Order but they’re in the Ministry, too, at least Snape’s not in the Ministry.”

“Kingsley and Moody are in the Ministry but they’re not Slytherin and unlike some they were around during the first war.”

“Their parents aren’t in the Order, either.”

“Pureblood Slytherins, the lot of them.”

“And you know what the rumours about that family are.”

Tonks rose from the sofa in a swift and fluid motion, her wand arm extending in a slash through the air, her head whipping round to meet the point at which her wand was aimed. 

“Excuse me?” said Tonks, her words sharp, her voice unnervingly steady. Savage’s accusers weren’t the only ones to shrink back. Her fury was contained by the barest thread and the trepidation of wondering when it might explode froze people where they sat. Everyone knew Tonks was an Auror but it wasn’t until they saw how she held herself, how she had no hesitation about jumping into a fight, that they realised she knew how to fight. Her wand was pointed with a steadiness that pinned Savage’s accusers to their seats without a single incantation uttered. Her stance wasn’t a threat. It was a promise.

Moody and Kingsley stood up. Both surveying the room. Dumbledore was watching, his expression troubled. Savage rose slowly behind Tonks. Tonks swept them behind her with her free hand.

“Death Eaters in her family, too,” came a voice from somewhere else in the room.

“Hold your fire,” barked Moody, and the room watched Tonks maintain her stance, with a flinch the only sign she had been about to do more, her control such that no stray sparks escaped her wand. She didn’t back down.

“I had greater hopes of everyone here,” said Dumbledore, “that we could see beyond house prejudices.” All eyes were on Tonks who was still ready to defend, to fight, to keep safe what mattered most. Gazes were lost in trying to reconcile the sweet Hufflepuff with a skilled fighter. The realisation that Tonks wasn’t in the Auror department because of connections or concessions but because she could do what many of them couldn’t conceive of being capable of.

“At ease,” growled Moody. Tonks didn’t take her eyes from Savage’s accuser but she lowered her wand. Her stance still defensive. Her acquiescence an unusual display of how the Aurors worked. She didn’t respond to Dumbledore, she responded to Moody. She wasn’t there to make them feel safe and comfortable, she was there to take orders and fight. The accuser had shrunk back into their seat. “Tonks.” She looked at Moody and nodded. Then a Patronus came bounding into the room.

“Need backup,” came Proudfoot’s voice from the rabbit of silver mist. There were gasps throughout the room. Tonks reacted immediately, turning towards the door and lunging through the space, taking the shortest route regardless of whose feet she stepped on or what she had to jump over. She heard Savage in pursuit. The Aurors bolted to the front door of Grimmauld Place and apparated to Hogsmeade. Snape watched the event with apparent boredom though the people around him held their hands to their hearts and muttered various exclamations at the fight being brought to them. Moody and Kingsley shared a glance. They couldn’t go charging into a fight without arousing suspicion. They trusted Tonks and Savage to call for more help if need be. Sirius had paled and clutched Remus’s hand, his knuckles white.

“Fighting amongst ourselves only gives Voldemort an advantage,” said Dumbledore. “The Aurors in the Order are under immense pressure.” He surveyed the room and his quiet disappointment permeated the room. “They will go to lengths you cannot imagine to protect you, with the exception of when you attack their own.” He looked at the original accusers. “I would not provoke them, you may not be so lucky next time.”

The meeting resumed as if there hadn’t been an incident averted and another underway elsewhere. Glances were shot at Moody and Kingsley who didn’t quite manage to relax again. Charlie sat quietly, his attention no where near the meeting. There was the uncomfortable feeling that whilst everyone knew Tonks could have been stopped, it was only because of Moody that she did. No one doubted that Dumbledore could have intervened but everyone was aware that he didn’t. Kingsley had stood with Moody, and no one could quite decide if he did so to aid Tonks or Moody. And the whole time, Savage had stood behind Tonks, shaking so subtly that few noticed. But they hadn’t raised their wand. The pureblood Slytherin hadn’t been a threat. The half-blood Hufflepuff had needed orders to stop, then run to protect others. Savage had followed her, too. Not able to defend themself, but ready to defend others. To jump into the fray without a clue what waited on the other side. Remus’s gaze kept wandering back to Snape, who hadn’t reacted at all beyond a look of mild surprise when Moody had raised his voice.

When Tonks returned on her own, the room fell silent as she entered. She walked in as an Auror still prepared to jump into a fight, holding herself with a poise that spoke to her skill and years of training. Moody stomped across the room. She looked at Dumbledore.

“Hogsmeade is safe,” she said.

“Thank you,” said Dumbledore. He looked at Moody. “We shall talk later, Alastor.” Moody nodded. He patted Tonks on the shoulder, steering her gently back out of the room. Dumbledore looked out across the room. “Do not ever be surprised that people go over to the side of darkness.” The usual twinkle in his eye wasn’t there and there was a collective failure of people not looking at Snape. Snape rolled his eyes and left the room with a nod at Dumbledore who nodded in return.

Tonks and Moody were standing by the front door talking quietly. They both looked up when they saw Snape approaching.

“They can’t keep from staring, eh?” said Moody.

“Nothing new,” said Snape. “How’s Savage?”

“They’re okay,” said Tonks, “a bit shaken up, but Proudfoot gave us a decent distraction.”

“My associates providing entertainment for the night?”

“Big brawl at the Three Broomsticks,” said Tonks, “Proudfoot and Dawlish couldn’t Portkey everyone out without backup and there were a few, uh, strays to be collected.” Moody looked at the grandfather clock in the hallway. “It’s almost time for us to go on duty so Savage decided to stay in Hogsmeade while I reported back.”

“You scared people, lass,” said Moody. Tonks looked at the floor and shrugged. The parlour door opened and Molly slipped out into the hallway. 

“Tonks, dearest,” said Molly, bustling towards them, “are you okay?”

“I’m good,” said Tonks. “Everything okay?” Molly waved dismissively towards the parlour.

“Fine,” she said, “all fine.” She grasped Tonks’s hand. “But you dear, you must come to the Burrow.” She squeezed Tonks’s hand. “It’s so long since we’ve seen you and now Charlie’s home, you really must come visit.” Tonks tried to smile.

“That would be lovely, Molly,” she said, “thank you.”

“It’s decided, then,” said Molly. “Sunday lunch.” She reached up and patted Tonks’s cheek before letting her hand go and heading back to the parlour. The door closed behind Molly and Tonks rubbed her face and groaned quietly.

“Charlie your fella?” said Moody, frowning. Tonks snorted.

“Not since Hogwarts,” said Tonks, still gazing down the hall. “Molly wouldn’t be inviting me to the Burrow if I was still sleeping with Charlie, not that she, uh, ever knew that we did.” Moody rolled both his eyes. She wrapped her arms around herself and caught Snape’s curious look. “She made it plain to Charlie that she didn’t approve, not that it mattered to us, but - ”

“It mattered,” said Moody. He looked at Snape. “Molly thought Tonks was too ambitious wanting to become an Auror.”

“Indeed,” said Snape.

“I wasn’t the marrying sort,” said Tonks, “not ready to have children the moment I left Hogwarts.” She gave an empty laugh. “Not to mention there was my perfectly lovely family.” Snape guessed those might have been Molly’s exact words given Tonks’s venom.

“Her loss,” said Moody, patting Tonks on the back. The pain of Molly’s words had left Tonks but Snape could see how it drained her. “She does care in her own way, mind you.” 

“I know,” said Tonks, quietly. She rubbed her face. As soon as Tonks was out of Charlie’s love life and his bed, Molly had welcomed her warmly. Molly loved. With warmth. With kindness. With conditions. “She’s going to want to know who my man is.”

“Give the fella a chance,” said Moody, “if you’re not careful Molly will have a wedding planned.” Tonks coughed, her eyes widening, as she saw Snape smirking. Moody laughed. “Don’t worry, lass, your mother wouldn’t let anything happen without her say so.” Snape stilled and narrowed his eyes as Tonks laughed. “Probably for the best you and Charlie didn’t want to get married, imagine Molly and Andromeda being family. Mind you, having Andromeda as a mother in law - "

"Aren't you meant to be patrolling?" said Snape, looking at Tonks. She looked at him, biting her grinning lips. Moody glanced at the grandfather clock again.

“Aye,” said Moody. “You get back to Hogsmeade, Tonks, I need to talk to Dumbledore.”

“See you later,” she said, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. He grumbled and started to stomp back to the parlour.

“I need to get back to Hogwarts,” said Snape, opening the front door. Tonks followed him outside. He closed the front door behind them. “Remus knows, doesn’t he?” 

“He won’t tell Sirius,” she said. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at him from beneath her lashes. “Somewhere else?” He nodded and they apparated. Separately. The Auror and the Death Eater aware they couldn’t even take the risk of one crack of apparition instead of two giving them away.

She ran to him, the shingle tumbling beneath her feet, and there was no hesitation between them as they found each other’s lips in the dark. He pushed aside her cloak and robes and she pressed herself against him as his hands found the small of her back. The restraint was painful. Stolen kisses in stolen minutes. She knew she could make quick work of the buttons on his shirt and he knew that being together under the stars would be as easy as breathing for her. He pulled away.

“How are you?” he said, before kissing her neck.

“No bludgers,” she said, her quiet moan piercing the still night. “I’ve been a good Auror.” His laugh sent sparks rippling through her. “Disappearing with a Death Eater doesn’t count.” She brought his mouth back to hers and pulled away when she knew she couldn’t disappear for any longer. “I have to go back to Hogsmeade.” She stepped away from him, wanting nothing more than to be back in his arms. She walked backwards a few more steps, the cold brushing around her as her robes and cloak settled back into place. She stopped, turned, and with a crack of apparition, was gone.

He watched the space where she had been and listened to the small waves crashing against the shore. When he apparated back to Hogsmeade he didn’t wait for her and she didn’t run to him.


	27. Chapter 27

The door slammed shut behind her, and before Tonks could get further into Snape’s quarters, she knew he wasn’t there. Her balance thrown by a strange emptiness she couldn’t place. And she had been all too ready to run to him. The fire was roaring, there were books and parchment everywhere and a stray set of robes over a sofa. She walked through his quarters, looking into each room and not finding him anywhere. In the bedroom, she sunk onto the bed, her cloak floating through the air around her like a grey cloud. The lamps weren’t lit and only the fire gave light to the room. She stared at her wand as she twirled it in her fingers before glancing around the empty room as if he might appear because she had made a point of not looking for all of a minute. Days of waiting for the weekend and he wasn’t there.

“Severus?” she said, but that didn’t bring him to her, either. She wondered about summoning the Bloody Baron but it would likely earn her a lecture on being unmarried. That was if the Bloody Baron was still on talking terms with her after their last encounter. She isn’t meant to be with child, he’d said. She wasn’t and knew she couldn’t let it happen. This was war and she had to fight. “Severus.” His name was barely a whisper on her lips. Maybe after the war. A distant theory, he’d said. She wanted him. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, palms rubbing her forehead. She needed him. “Not a promise,” she said, turning to look at the fire, “a truth.”

Tonks undid her boots and kicked them off. She kept stopping as she undressed, each piece of wood cracking in the fire causing her look around in the hope that she had really heard footsteps. And then she was crawling under the blankets. Her back to the fire, she pulled up the blankets and tried to arrange the pillows into something comfortable until she was surrounded. She glanced at the door one last time before closing her eyes. The bed didn’t feel right without him in it.

Snape left the Slytherin common room with the parting shot to the seventh years that he would be unimpressed if they couldn’t behave themselves for at least a few hours. The first years had huddled on sofas in their pyjamas while the seventh years shuffled their feet and avoided looking at their head of house. Other years had drifted through from their dormitories and were watching the early weekend entertainment. The seventh years had spent their Friday night researching DADA essays with the help of additional materials from home. Some practical demonstrations had terrified the first years who had yet to realise how far their house went to encourage initiative. Snape was impressed with what the seventh years had achieved. He wasn’t impressed by their lack of care around their younger housemates. The seventh years were very clear on Snape’s opinion by the time he was done. He’d given them the option of detentions with him or a day of helping the younger years with their homework. There was a chorus of, “Yes, Sir.” and he left them to push boundaries on what constituted helping. He expected the first years would be proficient in magic they shouldn’t know by lunchtime.

Snape returned to his quarters and as the door closed behind him, the wards secure, he paused. He glanced at the clock and walked through to the bedroom. Tonks was asleep, her hair a black halo around her, the bed a cloud of pillows and blankets. He smiled as he watched her sleep. He took off his robes, threw them over a chair, and left for his study. 

He was working through second year DADA essays when he heard the approach of soft footsteps. He looked up from the parchments. Tonks was standing in the doorway of the study, arms crossed, tousled hair spilling over her shoulder and an expression of discontent that would cause the most ruthless Death Eater to give pause. She walked in and stopped when she realised she risked being in arms reach of him. Snape put down the parchment and sat back in the chair which was as obnoxious as the large ornate desk. She brought her hand to her mouth as she yawned but still her eyes were narrowed.

“I saw your robes when I was moving pillows,” said Tonks. “They weren’t there when I went to sleep.”

“Did you have to fight your way out of bed?” said Snape.

“Slytherin won, didn’t they?” she said, looking uncertain.

“You didn’t figure that out yourself,” he said, unable to stop himself smiling at her growing fury. 

“I’m a woman you’re - whatever it is we are - and you won’t even say hello?”

“The only woman, Tonks,” he said. He wondered how long it was going to take her to realise she didn’t have her wand. Her fingers were twitching gently. “You were asleep, and you haven’t said hello, either.”

“Hello,” she said, stiffly.

“Hello,” he said.

She turned away from him and the door slammed shut. Her fingers grasped air and splayed in frustration as she hissed when the lock clicked into place. Her head started to turn, but she stopped herself, though the black waves tumbling across her bare back swayed gently. Her fingers splayed and relaxed again, and she put her hands on her hips. She stared at the dark floorboards scarred by hundreds of years of wear. He crossed the space between them. In the lamplight, their shadows were almost one. He didn’t touch her.

“More pleasant?” she said.

"Have I not made my opinion clear in other ways?" he said. Her body tensed as sparks raced through her. She looked over her shoulder at him, her lips parting, only to close with words unsaid. “What would you have me say?" She turned away again, her head bowed, her hands slipping down towards her hips and hesitating. "What would be enough?”

A shiver ran down her spine and did things to her body that were going to be the end of him if he wasn’t careful. She tried and failed to suppress a yawn.

“You should be in bed,” he said.

“I’m locked in,” she said, and at that she heard the click of the door being unlocked. She walked away and didn’t look back.

Tonks climbed back into her fortress of pillows and blankets, keeping her back to the door. She tried to give herself over to the softness of the bed and the heat of the blazing fire. Sleep was clawing at her and still she stared at the flames licking the fireplace. She heard the footsteps but didn’t move. Heard the rustle of clothes being taken off. And then the blankets were moving and pillows being nudged out of the way. But he didn’t touch her. 

“I stayed in your study for ages before I left,” she said. He watched the gentle movements of her body and the firelight trying to creep further into the shadows across her back. “Nothing seemed right.” She gave an empty laugh and reached behind herself, still with her back to him, to cross the chasm between them. “Even when it’s so easy to - to - ” His fingertips touched hers. “Nothing seemed enough.” She inhaled deeply. “Nothing seemed right.” She tugged him closer as she rolled onto her back. He kept himself propped up on one arm as she lay almost beneath him. She brought his fingertips further up and his hand spread across her stomach. “I come here for more than sex.” Her soft smile spread through her, though sadness tinged the edges of her as she fought to be comfortable with what she knew was true instead of letting the riptide of worry sweep her away. “You know that, right?”

“I know,” he said, stroking her stomach. He rested his forehead against hers. “There’s sleep, too.” She didn’t realise she had been holding her breath until she exhaled in a great huff.

“Yes,” she said, sniffing as a laugh escaped her.

“You're always welcome to sleep here.”

“You say that to all the Aurors you're sleeping with, don't you?” 

“Only the one with the relentless notion of a future,” he said. His hand moved lower and he pressed his fingertips into her abdomen. She inhaled sharply, her whole body tensing as sparks tore through her. “Why are you doing this to yourself, Tonks?”

“Does it matter?” she said. She moaned quietly and closed her eyes as his touch lightened until he was tracing patterns on her with his fingertips. “You’ve got what you want.” His hand flew from her and he got out of the bed. As if it were a lazy morning, he pulled on trousers and a shirt and left the room. Tonks felt like she had been drinking Firewhisky. She stumbled out of bed, grabbed her wand, and padded through his quarters until she found him back in the study.

He didn’t look up as she levitated a large armchair pretending to be acceptable furniture from the back of the room and put it down on the opposite side of his desk. She sat on the old worn leather, sinking down into the cushioning and putting her feet up, ankles crossed, on the desk.

“Very modest,” he said. Her hex bounced off his shield and hit the fire. Curiosity got the better of them both and they watched the fire as it swelled and turned a deep red before settling back to what it had been. Tonks cast a hex at the fire and Snape’s spell forced the fire back in the fireplace. He leant back in the chair, arms crossed, wand at his side. She watched him as she parted her legs and pressed her feet against the edge of the desk. She swept her hair over her shoulder and sunk back into the chair.

“Expelliarmus,” she said, her gaze fixed on him, hard determination in every soft curve of her body. She caught his wand and he stood up. He walked around the desk, stopping at her legs until she lifted the one nearest him. His hand on her ankle, he pushed her leg back, stepped past and let go. She lowered her foot back to the edge of the desk. His arms crossed, he watched her from where he leant against the desk between her legs.

“I’ve got what I want?” he said. He didn’t look angry, which perturbed her more. No simmering rage or a glint in his eye to preempt an eruption of fury. Her stomach dropped and her skin ran with goosebumps despite the fire which was happily roaring thanks to her hexing. “Tonks.”

“I’m a Hufflepuff,” she said, quietly. She was staring at the fire, rubbing circles around her eyes, as she sunk lower in the chair.

“Don’t blame this on your house,” he said.

She picked up his wand and held it alongside her own. She brushed her fingers over the wands, the feel of the wood changing subtly. He watched her getting lost in consequences, her gaze fixed on the lengths of wood. He had killed with his. She had killed with hers. 

“Lumos,” she whispered. Light poured from both wands. “Nox.” Her free hand flew to her mouth and she closed her eyes. He watched her chest rise and fall in a rhythm that was determined not to give in. She tried to wipe away the preemptive burn of tears and sniffed. “Family, Severus.” Her gaze had drifted to the fire but she glanced at him briefly. “It isn’t about having children, it’s about having someone, being with someone.” He watched her absentmindedly touch the wands as her gaze returned to the fire. “And I’m letting down my defences only to run into yours.” When she rubbed her forehead, her hand drifted up through her hair, the dark tousled strands glowing in the firelight as they tumbled across her fingers and down her arm. She rested her head on her hand and looked up at him.

He knelt down in front of the armchair and kissed her stomach. His hands drifting up under her thighs to hold her hips. She smiled sadly and put the wands down beside her so she could run her fingers through his hair. He kissed her stomach again and she sighed, the tiredness she had been trying to keep at bay coming back in waves. “I trust you,” she murmured. “I know we’re at war and that there’s a long way to go.” He started to trail kisses lower down her body. “But I can’t put on hold figuring out what we are, what we have.” She sighed again and gave into a yawn. “Until that’s all over.”

She stretched gently, both her hands on his head, fingers tangled in his hair. Then her body stilled as her heart threatened to run away. “And you question my tactics?” He laughed against her, his head between her legs. She took her feet from the desk and rested them on his back. “I - I know you’re not,” she moaned as his tongue explored her, “a Death Eater who - Merlin - needs satisfying to keep safe.” She swallowed and gasped, her grasp on him tightening. “I think you want both of us to make it - make it through - make it through the war and be - be whatever we are afterwards.” She bucked her hips and his hands held her tighter. “This isn’t fair,” she said, laughing. Her laugh was cut off by the moan he elicited from her as he shrugged, his shoulders against her thighs, as he kept her pleasure building with his tongue.

She was still panting from her climax when, her hands moving to his shoulders, she nudged him upwards. Taking his head in her hands again, she tasted herself on his lips and deepened the kiss.

“I won’t make promises, Tonks,” he said.

“What are we?” 

“More than friends?” He kissed her and his hand moved between her legs. Light strokes which threatened to unravel her again.

“Are you kidding?” She arched against him and he caught her moan with his mouth.

“No,” he said, “I will concede we’re more than friends.” He pulled her hips to the edge of the armchair. “Who sometimes have to be enemies and are otherwise allies.” He undid his belt. She pushed his trousers down with her feet. He kissed her jaw, her neck, her shoulder.

“Severus, I - I - ”

“Don’t say it,” he murmured, glancing to see her blushing face tinged with the shades of quiet pain. “If I must, I will agree to being your man.” Her small smile cut through him. She kissed him and tightened her legs around him. He deepened the kiss and closed the distance, her moan of pleasure burning away everything else.

He stood firm as she held onto him, rising slowly from the chair and rubbing her neck as she stretched her legs.

“Severus?” She had her arms around his neck and he held her against him. The warmth of the fire wrapped around them, and Tonks’s darkness glowed like embers as she watched the fire. “Give me a truth.”

“I missed you,” he said, and kissed her hair. “Will that satisfy you?”

“Quite the opposite,” she said, her voice catching.

“Tonks,” he said, one hand drifting round to trace patterns on her abdomen. “You need to sleep.”

“Death Eater.”

“Is our truce over already?” 

“Never.”

“No promises,” he said, and she looked at him, eyes shining.

“Will this ever be easy?”

“Maybe one day,” he said, quietly. Her gaze returned to the fire and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“A truth?” she said, her whisper almost lost to the crackling flames. He took her arms from around his neck and reached for her hand. “Severus?” He led her out of the study.

“I’ll come to bed with you,” he said. She followed in silence and said nothing when his only concession to getting into bed was to pull his shirt off. He got into bed and lay back. She stood by the edge of the bed watching him. He turned his head to look at her. “Tonks?” Her wariness was like shards of glass. He held out his hand for her and she climbed onto the bed. She didn’t take his hand and he let his arm drop back onto the bed. She lay down, her back to him, and let her arm stretch out alongside his. His Dark Mark, her unstained skin. He turned to lie against her. His belt buckle pressed against her. His free hand drifted to her abdomen. She watched the fire as his hand pressed against her, the glow of heat from the charm lingering as he kept his hand on her, the pressure lifting slowly until there were only his fingertips tracing patterns on her skin. It didn't take long before her breathing changed and her body sunk against him.

“A truth,” he said, quietly.


	28. Chapter 28

Snape woke up when Tonks kicked him. He had only been dozing when she lashed out, writhing beside him, ragged breaths giving way to ragged screams, her hands grasping at something which wasn’t there.

Through the fog she heard her name, felt a touch she couldn’t see. Her throat sore, she couldn’t stop the scream, the desperate plea to make it stop, to let them go. Her name again, a firmer grasp. Sheets beneath her, the fire swimming in and out of her vision, her heart pounding.

“Tonks,” said Snape, his hand on her arm, squeezing gently. Another cry rushed out of her and she grabbed his hand. A harsh gasp was followed by more rapid breaths. “Tonks.” She turned sharply to look at him, eyes wide and shining, and she scrambled to reach him. Then her eyes closed as if by enchantment, the remnants of sleep dragging her back under, and she slumped into an illusion of sleep.

“No, no, no, no,” she whimpered, her voice getting louder until it was almost a scream. “No!” Her eyes flew open and she lay panting in the bed, her hand over her mouth, her vision swimming with the dregs of her nightmare.

“Tonks,” said Snape, softly. She jumped, blinking furiously, her gaze darting around until she saw him. She lunged at him, her limbs clumsy and heavy with sleep, and he held her. Her chest still rose and fell with rapid breaths.

“Savage,” she said, in a strangled whisper. “I thought they had Savage.” He stroked her back. “Wand, I need my wand.” She pushed herself up, her skin covered in a sheen of sweat, her eyes slightly wild. Before he could summon her wand, she grabbed his from beside the bed without thinking. “Expecto - Expecto - ” A sob escaped her and she bowed her head as another desperate cry fell from her lips. She forced herself to summon the happy memories with the will of needing to know Savage was safe. “Expecto Patronum!” Tonks’s badger burst from Snape’s wand and disappeared through the walls. He watched her sit back on her ankles, pawing at her face, and dragging her fingers through her hair, not taking her eyes from the wall. Savage’s dragon stampeded through the wall and wrapped itself around Tonks. She collapsed in on herself, the relief too much to bear, and started to cry as the Patronus faded away.

Snape was sitting beside her, and when he stroked her back, she turned to look at him. She wiped her face with her hands, stopping when she realised she was holding his wand. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice thick, as she gave him his wand. “I wasn’t thinking.”

He summoned her wand and pointed it at his own. “Prior Incantato,” he murmured, and an echo of Tonks’s badger emerged from the wand tip. “Deletrius.” The badger disappeared. He could only vanish the echo of the spell, not the spell itself. He put the wands beside the bed and stroked her back again. He would find a lie if he had to. He had no idea if it would be enough. It had been months since his wand was seized. A Patronus. Her Patronus. Why, Merlin, why hadn’t he stopped her? “That’s not the first time you’ve used your Patronus like that, is it?”

“We’ve done it since we learned how to do them,” she said, moving herself so she sat up with her arms hugging her legs. He swept her hair back and tucked loose strands behind her ear. She glanced at him and rubbed her eyes. “What’s your Patronus?” His hand which had been stroking her back stopped, the curve of her spine against his palm, the gentle movement beneath his fingertips of her body as she breathed more easily again. “You’ve seen mine but I don’t get to see yours?”

“I begin to wonder what goes on in the Hufflepuff dormitories,” he said, stroking her back again when she laughed, her smile tired but easier, “I find myself grateful that all the Slytherins tend to do is invoke questionable magic.”

“Wouldn’t that be against the rules?” she said. He looked at her, eyebrows raised, and she ducked her head into her arms, her shaky laugh escaping nonetheless.

“Allowing for initiative,” he said.

“Show me some of this questionable magic,” she said. He paused for a moment before picking up his wand. He pointed his wand at the fireplace and she almost missed what he was doing because she was watching his wandwork. The fire was being pulled from the fireplace and she watched the flames contort themselves at his will, moving into shapes that seemed reminiscent of creatures before morphing into other forms and moving around the room without touching anything. He returned the fire to the fireplace.

“That’s why I wasn’t here when you arrived earlier,” he said, “the seventh years had been playing with that.”

“Playing?” she said, in disbelief.

“As opposed to succeeding, yes,” he said. “By the time a group of first years braved getting me, the common room looked like the Great Lake was leaking into the dungeons.” Tonks shivered and Snape pulled a blanket up and slung it around her shoulders. “They at least proved themselves proficient with an Aguamenti.”

“How many detentions?”

“None,” he said, leaning back against the pillows and closing his eyes. She turned and curled up beside him, nudging the pillows into a comfortable nest.

“How do you set fire to a common room and flood it without getting detentions?”

“They had a choice of detentions or helping the younger ones with homework,” he said, shrugging. “It will do them all good and I didn’t particularly want to lose any of my weekend to supervising sleep deprived teenagers.” He slipped his hand around the edge of the blanket and found her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. “Or would you like me to tell them a Hufflepuff is questioning their head of house?”

She looked down and laughed. Staring at his Dark Mark brushing against the blanket, she stroked the brand with her fingertips, his body warm beneath her touch. Tracing the lines that covered his forearm, she lost herself in following each part of the skull and the snake. When he opened his eyes and turned to look at her, she didn’t look up. She had the hint of a frown and she chewed her lip lazily.

“You’re a half-blood,” she said, almost to herself, tensing when she felt him still. “Remus told me.” She stopped her exploration of his Dark Mark. “Sirius was asking questions and I mentioned the house-elves, so he assumed you were a pureblood.”

“My mother was a pureblood,” he said, “my father was a muggle.”

“They’re - ”

“They died when I was a teenager.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, pressing her lips to his shoulder. “What happened?”

“Nothing you need to know.” He saw her gaze dart to his Dark Mark and he moved his arm, putting it around her. She settled into his hold but couldn’t disguise her confusion. He hadn’t moved to make her comfortable, she was sure of that much.

“Was your mother part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight?”

“No,” he said, “I know very little of her family.”

“Her family is your family,” said Tonks.

“Please stop,” he said, quietly. “She’s at peace, which is all that matters.”

“I’m sorry, I - ”

“Tonks,” he said, “I’m not angry.” He pulled her closer. “They’re gone, that’s all.” He rubbed his forehead as she tucked one of her legs between his. “And yes, I’m a half-blood.”

“I’m a half-blood, too,” she said, absentmindedly.

“Your pureblood legacy is rather different to mine, however.”

“I ruined the legacy,” she said. “They’ve all made a point of telling me whenever we’ve crossed paths.”

“I know,” he said, running his hands through her hair and tucking loose strands behind her ear. He stroked her cheek, relieved to feel her no longer clammy. She pulled the blanket across him and moved so her head rested on his shoulder.

“What about the rest of your family?”

“There isn’t any,” he said.

“What?” she said, propping herself up and looking at him, the frown back and deeper than before. She nudged his shoulder. “You’ve no family at all?” He watched her lips part to speak, only to close with a huff of frustration.

“Aside from Draco being my godson,” he said, “no.”

“Narcissa and Lucius?” she said.

“Narcissa is an old friend,” he said, “and Lucius is - he’s Lucius.”

“Mum - ”

“A friend,” he said, carefully.

“Me?” she said, and he saw a quiet triumph in her eyes.

“You,” he said, searching her eyes for a way out, “you are keeping me from checking on my seventh years.”

She froze, then something in her shattered and she pushed against him, pushing herself up and away. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. She fell back against the bed and looked up at him, eyes narrowed, her soft lips ready to hex him. He leaned closer, releasing her hand, moving to be above her. Their bodies barely touching, the bedsheets grasped in his hands as he looked down at her. The echoes of her last night with Remus ran through her and she shook with a silent sob. Her hand flew to her mouth and he looked away, pulling back. She reached out, and hands on his head, pulled him closer. Her lips an inch from his, she hesitated. Her breaths came rapidly again and she closed her eyes.

“You don't need to persist,” he said.

“I do,” she said, bringing her lips to his. She deepened the kiss and brought her legs up, her feet on his back pushing into him until he relented and his body was against hers. “Half my family comes from muggles.” She waited until he met her gaze. “Half from purebloods who helped one of the darkest wizards come to power.” She tightened her legs around him then reached down between them and undid his belt while he kissed her shoulder. “It was digging into me.” His short laugh brought a moan from her as he kept kissing her. Her hands on his head, she pulled back so she could see him. “You’re the only Death Eater and Slytherin I’ve slept with.” She searched his eyes, trying to find a way in. “You’re not my first DADA professor.” He kissed her fingers as she brushed them across his lips. “I’m pretty sure I’m your only metamorphmagus, though.” He nodded. “Not sure if I’m your only Hufflepuff.” He shook his head. She raised her eyebrows and he laughed. “I’m not scared of what it means to have you as family.”

“Too many people know about us," he murmured.

“And yet it’s only you and me in your bed," she said, increasing the pressure of her feet on his back and moving her hips, before letting her legs fall from around him. She stole a kiss and pushed against him. "Go check on your seventh years." He moved off her and watched in disbelief as she rose from the bed and walked out, running her fingers through her hair and shaking the waves loose as she left without a backward glance.

Tonks sunk down in the bathtub and ducked beneath the water, sweeping her hair back when she came up. She leant back against the stone, the water lapping at her neck as she wiped away tears, safe where her damp cheeks were unable to betray her.

Snape entered the Slytherin common room and the seventh years jerked awake when he slammed the door shut. The students had fallen asleep on the sofas, arms and legs flung out over the furniture, heads in laps and against shoulders. There were several wands on the floor. Snape summoned the fire, and creatures of flame stormed around the common room silencing the students and causing more than a few to sink further into their seats. He returned the fire to the fireplace.

"Show me I wasn't wrong to allow the weekend to pass without detentions," he said, striding into the common room as the seventh years tried to straighten themselves out.

Tonks was gently biting her tongue as she held her hand out and tried to convince the water to do her bidding. A column of water rose in front of her, the form of a creature beginning to emerge, sending small waves through the bathtub and against her skin as she lay back against the smooth stone.

"I know you're watching me," she said, keeping her focus on the form in front of her as Snape closed the door behind him.

"A selkie?"

"In theory," she said.

He sat on the edge of the bathtub and she flashed him a smile before going back to her selkie. The form was taking on more definition when Tonks slipped against the bathtub. She sank beneath the water then came up spluttering and swearing. She flung her hand out, an incantation falling from her lips, and she shrieked when ice started to cover the water. She cast another charm, the words all but yelled, and the water returned to its previous hot state. Catching her breath, she shook her head and swept her hair back. She wiped her eyes and leant against the bathtub, grabbing Snape's proffered hand.

“How are your seventh years?” she asked, smiling. He laughed and she squeezed his hand. “I’m fine, really.”

“You like the water,” he said, almost to himself.

“Feels like home.”

“The seventh years were napping,” he said, “but it appears they did manage to teach the younger ones things they shouldn't before piling up like kneazles and falling asleep.” He let Tonks pull his hand towards the water. “They're doing homework now.” His gaze wandered across her body. “Does it bore you to not be covered in cuts and bruises?”

“I tripped over Savage,” she said, raising her arm out of the water and turning it back and forth to see the bruises covering stretches of her skin. She lowered her arm back into the water and lifted her leg out of the water. Snape held her ankle and saw a mostly healed cut along the length of her calf. He let go and she glanced at him as she brought her leg back under the water. “Climbing a fence.” She blushed, and sunk lower in the water.

“In pursuit of Death Eaters?” he said. Her eyes narrowed.

“No,” she said. “I find they cause different wounds.”

“Quite.”

Snape stood up, went to the cabinet full of potions and took out three vials. Tonks watched him break the seals and pour the potions into the bathtub. He put the empty vials by the sink and came back, unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt and pushing the sleeves up. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and she leaned her head against his leg as he reached into the water, swirling it around so that the potions mixed in. She caught his fingers with hers and she pulled his arm further into the water, slowly soaking his shirt. He moved to crouch on the floor behind her and she brought his hand between her legs. His other arm rested on the edge of the bath, fingers brushing the water in front of her.

“Thank you,” she said, turning her head so she could look at him. “For the potions.” She closed her eyes and moaned as she stretched and tensed at his touch. She sighed. “My man.” He took his hand from her and she opened her eyes. Snape’s hand swept across Tonks’s body as he stood up.

He dried himself off with a towel as she got out of the bathtub. She left a trail of water across the floor as she approached him. He slung a bigger towel around her and she grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer as she leant against the wall.

“There is tomorrow,” he reminded her. She shot him a frustrated glance but let go of his shirt as he stepped away from her. She followed him through to the bedroom, leaving wet footsteps on the flagstones behind her. She threw the towel over a chair and climbed onto the bed. He was unrolling the wet sleeves of his shirt and undoing the buttons as she lay back.

“If you can think about tomorrow,” she said, staring at the ceiling, “what about next week? Next month?”

“Don’t, Tonks,” he said. She propped herself up on her elbows when he approached the edge of the bed. Stretching her legs, she nudged him with her foot. He threw the shirt on the floor.

“If I can’t have tomorrow,” she said, coyly, “do I get today?”

He batted her foot out of the way and moved to turn away but glanced back at her. He climbed onto the bed, kneeling between her legs, his hands either side of her as he kept himself above her. He moved with a painful slowness and she raised her head to find his lips before he could make her wait longer for her prize. She wanted today. Wanted him. She wanted tomorrow, too. Wanted him after the war. Suddenly, his lips on hers didn’t feel like she had won. She tried to squash the dread that this meant losing. She reached for his belt and the metal was cold on her fingers as she undid the buckle. He kissed her jaw, her neck, her shoulder as she pushed his trousers down.

She lay back down and kept her arms and legs from him. She closed her eyes. This wouldn’t be the last time. There would be more than today. But how many todays would there be? He was trailing kisses across her chest when his hand traced up her arm to find her fingers and she intertwined them with his.

“Would you rather not?” he murmured, his lips by her ear.

“Family can be just us,” she said. “It doesn’t have to mean children or marriage.” The word “yet” hung in the air. She reached down between her body and his, and took him in her hand. His head sunk to her shoulder. Their hands which held each other tightened their grip. She moved her legs and he groaned as she wrapped her legs around him. “I’m yours.” She kissed each part of him she could reach until he brought his mouth to hers. Guiding him into her, she whimpered and brought her hand back up so she could touch his face. She stroked his cheek and he met her gaze. He stopped when he saw the flickers of pain in her eyes.

“Tonks?” he said. “What’s - ” She kissed him, letting go of his hand so she could run her fingers through his hair. Letting go of some of her tension when she deepened the kiss and he didn’t pull away. She tightened her legs and he elicited a deep moan from her as he returned to the rhythm she had been losing herself in and been terrified of losing.

As if a magic of its own wound around them, when she came, the worries were swept away with the tension, though there were the lingering aftershocks which even in her ecstasy she knew would be harder to let go of. After he came, he took one of her hands back in his, fingers intertwined, and pushed against the bed.

“Tonks,” he said, still catching his breath. He kissed her and she moaned softly, her hand drifting down to his neck and shoulders. “What’s wrong?” She shook her head and found his lips again. This, she wanted this. His body against hers, his hand in hers, his lips on hers.

He did up his belt and put on a shirt, all the while watching her avoid him as she got dressed.

“Tonks?” he said.

She kept her back to him as he approached her. Slipping the straps of her bra over her shoulders, she fumbled with the clasps. He caught both parts of the clasp and fastened them. “What aren’t you telling me, Severus?”

“What is it you want?” he said, and she turned to face him.

“You,” she said, frowning at his shirt as she did up the buttons.

“You have me.” He tucked stray strands of her still damp hair behind her ear. Hands on her hips, he pulled her closer. He kissed her neck. “You had me in you moments ago,” he murmured. She moaned quietly, and slipped her arms around his neck. He kissed her jaw, her lips. Her hands trailed up to run through his hair.

“How are we going to get through the war?” she said.

“You survive,” he said.

“And you?”

“Will do as my masters bid me.”

“We can do that and still be family,” she said, quietly. One of his hands moved from her hip to her abdomen. He kissed her neck again. He knew she wasn’t clueless about what lay ahead. And still, there was so much she didn’t know. So much she couldn’t know. So much which would change when she did know. “Severus.”

“Are you trying to provoke the Bloody Baron?” He stepped away from her and sat on the bed.

“You and me,” she said, grabbing her wand before climbing back on the bed and pulling him down to lie beside her. “I’ll still be yours even if you say no.” They lay facing each other and he reached out to stroke her abdomen. He stilled when Tonks’s Patronus leapt from her wand. The badger sniffed at Tonks then stood on its hind legs as if to get a better look at Snape before disappearing. “I’ll still be happy.”

The Bloody Baron and the Fat Friar watched from the edges of the bedroom door where the Professor and Auror couldn’t see them. Snape was stroking Tonks's abdomen, and neither of them noticed anything beyond the sanctuary of the bed. 

“You need this,” said Snape.

You do, too, Tonks wanted to say, but she just nodded.

“She will sway him,” said the Fat Friar, quietly.

“She needs to listen to him,” said the Bloody Baron, keeping his voice low, too.

“Family?” said Snape.

“Just you and me,” said Tonks.

Snape pulled Tonks closer, not hesitating until she was against him. She kissed him and he lay back on the bed, pulling her on top of him. He rubbed his face and looked at her as she finished buttoning up his shirt.

“It doesn’t seem right doing this,” she said, with a small laugh. “I prefer undoing the buttons.” She fiddled with the edges of his shirt and he stroked her legs. “I know it’s going to be difficult.” She smiled but she was sniffing, too, and she pawed at her eyes. His hand drifted up to her abdomen. “It’s going to be awful.” Struggling to speak, she swallowed as she felt him trace patterns on her skin. “But family isn’t a promise, it’s something you are.” He took her hands in his and pulled her closer. “Something you get to come back to.” Her lips were an inch from his. “Something that waits for you.” He searched her dark eyes for doubt.

“I already come back to you,” he said.

“I know,” she said, gently.

“She was wrongly sorted,” said the Bloody Baron, as he watched the Hufflepuff weave her magic around the Slytherin.

“No, she wasn’t,” said the Fat Friar, with a fond smile.

Snape stroked Tonks's cheek and she leaned into his touch. He kissed her and she deepened the kiss. She murmured his name and her Patronus leapt from her wand again. The badger looked at the pair quizzically. They didn’t notice the badger scamper around them, trailing silver light, before fading away. The Bloody Baron turned and glided out of Snape’s quarters with the Fat Friar behind him. Snape and Tonks didn't hear the clanking chains or troubled sigh.


	29. Chapter 29

Snape knew what it was to be branded, bound, under Vows. He knew what the magic of a bond was. To have himself and his magic tied to others. To be brought to his knees by the pressure of a summons. He knew there hadn’t been an incantation. He knew Tonks hadn’t invoked magic. Light, Dark, old. And still something had changed. Altered in the firelight as she watched him. Everything could falter. The knife edge was sharper. And she brought her soft lips to his.

His hand on the back of her head, she needed no encouragement to stay close, he was trying to stop himself leaving. She didn’t want him to compromise himself. She didn’t know how difficult their lives were going to get. Their lives. As if there was a future intertwined. Her wand abandoned, her hands on his body, she broke the kiss.

“Some Occlumens,” she murmured, “I can feel your heart racing.” Holding her hand over his heart, he kissed her, and even as he elicited sounds of pleasure from her, his heart slowed beneath her touch. She forced herself to pull away. “Doesn’t that exhaust you?” His hand moved down to her neck, the soft curve, her pulse point under his thumb.

“It’s usually second nature,” he said, with the briefest smile. “It should be.” His hand trailed down her body until his fingers caught the band of her bra. “It’s meant to be.” He looked away from her and moving his hands to her hips, nudged her. Tonks moved slowly so she was no longer straddling Snape but lying beside him, one of her legs over his. Her head on his shoulder, she watched him look anywhere but at her, though he couldn’t keep from tracing patterns on her skin.

“Severus?” She slipped her hand under his shirt, the cotton smooth against the back of her hand, his scarred skin a quiet battlefield beneath her fingertips.

“I’m a Death Eater,” he said, almost to himself.

“Spy,” she said.

“A servant to two of the most powerful and dangerous wizards alive,” he said. “And you want to be family?” 

“I’m not sleeping with either of them,” she said.

“You’re not their type,” he said, absentmindedly.

“Yes,” she said, “that was a deciding factor.” He shot her a glare and was met with one in return. Tonks’s nose scrunched up in annoyance and tricked a laugh from him. “You haven’t said no.” 

“Bonds,” he muttered.

“This isn’t a bond,” she said, “and you know not all bonds are bad.”

“They’re a way to be compromised.”

“Is that how you feel about Draco?” she said, pushing against him to prop herself up. He reached over and swept her hair back. 

“No,” he said. “It’s complicated.”

“How are you bound with him?” she said, nudging his shoulder. “Aside from being his godfather?”

“Unbreakable Vow,” he said. "And it's about him not with him."

“What - ”

“No.” His glare was enough to stop the follow-up question lingering on her lips.

"What does it feel like?" she said, trying to edge back to safer territory as she lay back down. "The bond not the Vow."

“It’s old magic,” he said, “I want to protect him but I can still give him detentions.” He glanced at her and managed a small smile. “He’s family.”

“Does he know about the Unbreakable Vow?”

“No,” he said, and it almost surprised him to realise that. He wondered how long it would be before someone let slip what had happened. Narcissa and Bellatrix could tell Draco. He could tell Draco. He couldn’t burden Draco further. He wanted Draco to see sense. Before it was too late. As if they hadn’t all passed that point long ago.

“It’s all to protect him, though?”

“You have no idea what that means,” he said, his hand falling from her, patterns left incomplete on her back.

“I can guess,” she said.

“A great comfort,” he said, disentangling himself from her and getting up off the bed. He leant against one of the walls of shelves, arms crossed, wand in hand. She sat up on the bed. “I have to do things in the coming months that you’re going to hate me for.”

“That’s for me to decide,” she said, “not you.”

He wondered what it would take for her understand she needed to keep herself safe. To understand the danger she was putting herself in. To understand the danger he posed. To understand that what she wanted was only going to make the inevitable hurt more.

“I’m a Death Eater, Tonks.” he said.

“I'm an Auror.”

“I go back to the Dark Lord.”

“Because you're summoned and under orders.”

“He waits for his Death Eaters.” 

“And Moody waits for me.”

“You think that helps your point?” he said. “Moody is a part of your family.”

“You don’t honestly want to go back to him,” she said, though she couldn’t keep the hint of questioning from her voice.

“I do if it means - ” He hissed and swore. She saw him clench his fist. “I become foolish around you.”

“Vows?” she asked. His bitter laugh cut through the warmth of the room. He shook his hand, as if he could shake the burning away.

“They’re meant to help protect - ” He swore again. He hadn’t pushed the boundaries as far and still he found himself moving his hand in circles, fingers splayed, waiting out the release from the burning.

“Severus?”

“How can you tolerate it?” he said, in frustration.

“The same way you do,” she said. She picked up her wand and turned it slowly in her hands. Grabbing the blankets, she cleaned her wand of smudge marks. She glanced up at him. “It won’t kill you to admit I'm right.”

“You don’t know that,” he said.

Tonks climbed off the bed. She fixed her gaze on his as she cast the spells to detect Dark Magic he had shown her. Light poured from her wand and towards him, the glow of her magic reflecting in her dark eyes. He raised his wand before the light reached him. The light she conjured changed colour and the ripples of Dark Magic nudged closer to her. He seemed barely to move as he lounged against the shelves casting curses. She tried not to think of how easily the Dark Magic came to him. How easily she knew she had slipped into using it when they had duelled.

“Pleasant,” she muttered to herself.

“Even the Dark Lord doesn’t hold grudges so petty.”

“Petty?” 

“Don't, Tonks."

“Why are you fighting this so hard?” she said. The old magic she cast was no shield and she wondered how much effort it was taking him to keep the Dark Magic reined in. To let it surround her but not touch her. The change of colours in her miniature Northern Lights crept closer to her.

He wondered what he would have to do before she relented and protected herself. She threw her wand to him.

He caught the wand and lowered his own but not before the dregs of the Dark Magic were drawn towards the fireplace. There was an explosion of flames and she closed her eyes and turned her head away but otherwise didn’t move even as the flames tried desperately to reach her. He corralled the fire back into the fireplace with little more than a frustrated flick of his wand. The scorched walls around them radiated heat. Her hair still swayed around her from the force of the fire and the magic to return the fire to where it belonged.

She opened her eyes and he looked away, only to watch her lips. She had been panting when he last saw the incantation fall from her lips, her hand flung out with no need for a wand, her body against his. Now she stood across the room, the incantation all but a whisper, her hand comfortably at her side. Snow fell around them, the blizzard moving around the room with lazy ease, as if it remembered having been there before. She kept her distance, her hands moving to her hips. He saw her skin begin to run with goosebumps. The glow of her magic was transformed by the snow and the lingering light twisted through the flurries. The blizzard whipped around them and stirred up her hair. And her steadiness was unwavering. Yet for all the cold, her dark eyes were warm.

He looked away, rubbing his forehead, both wands hanging by his side. The traces of Dark Magic had vanished. The glow of her magic was fading. Too long, it bothered him how it hung around for so long. She was comfortable with old magic. He glanced at her. She hadn’t moved.

“I never said being family would be easy,” she admitted, her voice catching, her smile guilty. "But saying yes doesn't have to be this hard."

"If I say no?"

"I'll still kiss you, I'll still sleep with you." She swept snowflakes from her cheeks. "I'll still be yours."

"But?"

"You won't think we're family,” she said. "That's it."

"Isn't it enough if you - "

"No."

"This feels like a bond."

"Just family."

“Just you and me?” he said.

Her silence as the last of the glow disappeared around her was of little comfort. She murmured an incantation and the blizzard stopped. “I know you’ve thought about it.” The last of the snow fell around them.

“There’s a war to survive."

“To win,” she said.

He approached her and threw both their wands onto the bed.

“What if the wrong side wins?” he said, stopping so close that there was barely space for a shield between them.

“We’re going to get hurt.”

“What if the war ends with us on different sides?” He knew his willpower would only last as long as he wasn't touching her. He wasn't about to be branded. He wasn't on his knees. There was no one clinging onto him as a Vow bound them. But there was magic in her touch. He watched the last of the snowflakes melt on her bare skin. 

“Then the war won’t have ended.” Her fingers twitched. She wanted to reach out. “Not really.” She risked the chance to search his eyes. “This is the second war we’re in because things didn’t end as everyone thought they did the first time.”

“The first war.” He looked away from her, his empty laugh cutting through the space between them. “You’ve no idea.”

“Yes,” she bit back, eyes narrowed, “I’ve no idea what went on, no idea what it was like to lose people I loved." She stood unflinching as the traces of meltwater trailed across her bare skin and she tried to ignore the tumult of emotions which rose like an inescapable wave whenever she thought of the first war. "No idea what it was like to be under attack."

“Tonks,” he said, with something like apology rippling through his frustration as he looked back to her.

“You’ve been fighting for things which aren’t on the other side of the war,” she said. "Don't pretend that you haven’t."

“How can you be sure?”

“You won't like my answer,” she said, leaning closer so her lips were inches from his. She glanced up at him, and in her glance he saw her victory.

“How?” he murmured.

“You don’t want me to tell you,” she said, with exquisite softness.

No magic. No wands. His lips found hers and her hands reached for him. Her arms around his neck, a small bounce, and he caught her legs as she wrapped them around him. No enchantments. No incantations. His embrace. Her warm touch. 

“Tonks,” said Snape, kissing her neck. “This feels like a bond.”

“Which kind?”

“The painful kind.”

“That’s you admitting I’m right,” she said, a small laugh escaping her when he grasped her legs more tightly.

“Don’t push your luck.”

“Are you saying yes?” Her amusement had settled into a tension he could feel running through her. She wriggled out of his hold and slowly he let her go. She rested her head on his shoulder and he stroked her back.

“I’m not saying no.”

“Our orders to kill aren’t going to change,” she said, quietly. “We would still duel but when we make it through - ”

“Let’s try not to kill each other.”

“Severus?”

“Yes,” he said, as though the word hurt. “I’m saying yes.”

“We’ll find a way,” she said, staring at the fire. His arms around her, her chest rising and falling, they both knew that once they stepped outside this sanctuary they were in danger. Snape was tracing patterns on Tonks’s back and she looked away from the fire and met his gaze.

“No promises,” he said. She kissed him.


	30. Chapter 30

Tonks had kept her word and what Snape didn’t want to hear had remained unspoken. She knew agreeing to be family wasn’t a bond. She fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. She broke the kiss as she tried to focus. He kissed her neck and stopped her hands with his.

“Severus,” she said. She bit her lip. "You and me, are we okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Family?” she said. He pulled away and looked her up and down, unable to keep the hesitation and wariness from his features. 

“I said yes.”

“I keep thinking I imagined it,” she said, with a nervous laugh. Her dark eyes glowed in the firelight as she watched him.

“No,” he said, stepping back. “It happened.” He ran his hand through his hair as she closed the distance. She held out her hand. He huffed, and taking her hand, pulled her close. His arms around her, she kept her hands on his body and rested her head on his shoulder. She started to undo buttons again. “I can feel what you’re doing.”

“Family,” she murmured, almost to herself.

“Buttons,” he said.

“It’s not a bond,” she said. “Nothing’s going to change.” He laughed and she looked at him, her mouth pulling up in a small smile. “Maybe a little, I don’t know, but it's still just you and me.”

“Let’s keep it that way.”

She kept fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, slowly undoing more while he traced patterns on her back. She had meant it. She would still have returned to him at every opportunity because in his embrace, his warm touch on her back, there was the whisper of home. But no promises. His hands drifted back down to the waist of her trousers. She reached behind herself, her hand brushing against his, and undid the clasp of her bra. She slipped the straps over her shoulders and threw it on the floor.

“What are you doing?” he asked, seeing the glint in her eye. She was up to something.

“Testing a theory,” she said. She swallowed the threat of tears and kissed him, hoping he wouldn’t see the worry in her. He broke the kiss and pulled away. She tried to smile. “Don’t die.”

“Tonks?” he said, searching her eyes.

“How are you bound to your masters?” she said. He shook his head and kissed her neck, eliciting a quiet moan from her. “What have they requested of you?” Her voice caught as she spoke. His lips found hers and he pushed her trousers a little further down. “Who bound you?” He pulled her closer still as she pushed his hands down, pulling her trousers over her hips. She wriggled out of the trousers and kicked them aside.

“You’re trying to get around the Vows,” he murmured. A shiver raced down her spine, sparks chasing through her body. “You cannot take this,” he pressed his fingers into her hips, “for confirmation of your suspicions.” She shook her head.

“I’m proving that there’s no bond.” She undid his belt. “Your wrist is burning.” His hands wrapped gently around her wrists and she let go of his belt. “I figured a distraction was the only way you’d let me try more than one question.”

“And you were providing quite a distraction,” he said, with an empty laugh. "Now you've made your point I'll let you get dressed."

"What?"

"Did it not occur to you to ask?" He walked away, pulling his shirt off, and went to the wardrobe. She followed him and when he threw his shirt over a chair she hesitated then slipped her arms around him and pressed her lips to his back. He pushed her hands off him and turned around. He grabbed her wrist and without thinking she grabbed his. The remnants of burning were beneath her touch.

“How?” she whispered. He pulled her closer and she stumbled against him.

“Because strangely enough I keep thinking about my Vows,” he said, with an uncomfortable calm, “though perhaps it will satisfy you to know I am in no danger of dying right now.” His other hand was on the small of her back, she wanted to feel patterns, but his hand was unmoving against her. “Did you think I would lie to you?” She felt the burning begin to ease.

“I think you'll do whatever you have to,” she blurted out. She looked away from him. “I still trust you, but I've never thought that meant you wouldn't ever lie to me.” 

“If you had asked,” he murmured, leaning close, lips by her ear, “you would know there could be a bond but though you are powerful, you are not powerful enough to overcome what already binds me.”

As if something had fractured, she moved away from him and climbed onto the bed. She surveyed the kingdom of pillows and blankets and felt for a moment like she didn’t belong there. Why did it all have to be so hard? Family, he had agreed to being family. He leant against the wall and watched her. She sat down and grabbed a large pillow, hugging it to her and resting her chin on it.

"I trust you," she said.

"But?"

"I don't trust myself." She stared at the books on the shelves lining the wall. "I knew there wasn't a bond but you kept saying it felt like one and it’s confusing to be so close and there not be a bond.” She buried her face in the pillow. “Sorry doesn’t quite seem to cover pushing you on something which could kill you.”

“No,” he said, but he could tell she was only half listening.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I - I’m confused.” She looked up from the pillow, glancing at him before her focus went back to the shelves. “And after you - you said yes to being family.” Despite being on a bed surrounded by pillows, she kept feeling like she was about to fall. “I’m sorry, I - I - ” He walked over and grabbed her wrist. She grabbed his. The burning was gone. Her eyes shone. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not about to die,” he said. “Enough of the apologies.” He sat on the bed and she clambered around pillows to sit between his legs and lean back against him, pillow still in her arms. She wiped her face with her hands then hugged the pillow closer.

“I’m sorry,” she said. He swore in exasperation and she gave a shaky laugh. He slipped his hands beneath the pillow and around her body.

“How did you manage this with Remus?” he said. "Or Charlie, for that matter?"

“I love them,” said Tonks, shrugging, though her shoulders shook gently. She felt tension race through Snape though he had it under control within another moment. “But there wasn’t a future with them.”

“Even with Remus?”

“We were friends first,” she said, “who fell into bed together.” She turned her head to look at him and he stroked her stomach. “We love each other and the sex was great but he was - Sirius came back - and it was just a matter of time.” She kissed his shoulder. “When it wasn’t difficult, I just enjoyed being with him, but I never thought of a future with him.” She sniffed. “We didn’t ever talk about marriage or children or building a life together.” A tired laugh escaped her. “I don’t think he ever thought of a future beyond not wanting me to be alone.” She closed her eyes as he started tracing patterns on her skin. “As for Charlie, he's my favourite Gryffindor and I’m his favourite Hufflepuff.” She yawned. “We had fun and we were, uh, there for each other in a way Savage and I couldn’t be, especially when Savage was, you know, when seventh year wasn’t great.”

“I remember,” he said.

“They told me they kept hiding out here,” she said.

“Simplest way to keep them safe,” he said, “besides, apart from you, Savage trusted next to no one at the time.”

“Thank you,” she said, turning to look at him, “for doing everything you did for Savage.” Tonks gently elbowed Snape when he kept his gaze on the fire. He looked back at her, one side of his mouth pulled up in a smile. Her smile softened. “They’re my favourite Slytherin and I love them.”

“I was just doing what was necessary.”

“I know you did more than you needed to.”

“Our house looks after its own,” he said, shrugging. “They needed more looking after than some, even if that meant hiding out here.” She kissed his shoulder. “These days it’s Draco who spends his time here, even a few nights this year, usually sulking until he falls asleep.” He smiled when she laughed.

“How did you plan to explain me if I’d turned up while he was here?”

“It’s not wholly unreasonable for an Auror to be in the castle needing to speak with the DADA professor,” he said. “I think he would be more surprised at seeing his cousin than an Auror, however, and if all else failed, he would have to be content with knowing it was Order business.”

“He knows about the Order?”

“He discovered a great many things after being Marked,” said Snape, quietly. Tonks wrestled with the pillows as she tried to turn around. He pulled the pillow from her, smirking when she huffed, and she hauled blankets up around herself as she straddled him. One hand resting on her thigh, with the other he traced patterns on her abdomen, the blankets brushing against his arm.

“Why did he do it?” 

“That,” he said, “I cannot tell you.”

“He’s barely sixteen,” she said, in disbelief. “Sixteen.”

“I know.”

“How old were you?”

“Unlike Draco,” he said, “I had come of age before I was Marked,”

“Were you still here at Hogwarts?” She grabbed his shoulders and his hands were on her waist. “Severus?” He nodded. “No,” she breathed

“I can’t change what happened,” he said.

“But you - ”

“Made a choice,” he said, “and I wasn’t a child.” He stroked her stomach. “I am well aware of what I did, Tonks.” She slipped her arms around him and tucked her head against his neck as she hugged him. He put his arms around her.

“Stupid choice,” she mumbled, and he laughed. She held herself closer to him and he felt her breathing change. The control she tried to regain betraying her.

“Tonks?”

“You’re going to make the right choices,” she said, sinking back against his hold, so she could look at him. “And I know those choices won’t be about what's right for you and me beyond winning the war.” 

“Tonks - ” She cut him off with her hand over his mouth. His eyes narrowed and his hold on her tightened.

“I know that for you there’s more at stake than our relationship.” She moved her hand and brushed her thumb across his lips. “What matters is winning the war.” She rested her forehead against his. “Don’t pretend otherwise, Severus.”

He waited for the burn of boundaries pushed. Of Vows compromised. 

“I’ll wait for you,” she said, “but you need to come back.” He kissed her, and she knew then that fulfilling his Vows could kill him. Knew that he might be expecting them to. “I hope you come back.”

Her soft lips met his again and he knew she had found a way. It was only the barest fraction of truth and still, he was sure he should have burned, and instead she had played with fire and won. She had found a path he couldn’t afford to think of.

"Tell me a truth," she said.

"I need to prepare to see the Dark Lord tonight and at some point," he said, "you will tell me why it is you need to leave here earlier than usual. But there is a little time until then."

"You might get summoned by Voldemort but I've been summoned by mum," she said, "which I'm sure has nothing to do with threatening people in an Order meeting." She moaned softly when he kissed her neck. “Sirius probably told her.”

"You terrified most everyone there."

"Not you?"

“I wouldn’t expect you to give me the grace of a threat before attacking,” he said. “And you have some skill.” She pushed against him and smiled when he laughed. “A great deal of skill.”

"I think you might be my favourite Death Eater." 

"An honour."

"Coming from an Auror, it should be, we don't generally have favourites," she said. "Who's your favourite Auror? It's only fair."

"I'll have to think it over."

"Really?" She laughed. "Not enough time for - " Her laugh died on her lips and she froze. A ragged breath drawn in. "Merlin," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"We have time now," he said. 

"Yes," she said. "A little time."


	31. Chapter 31

Yawning, Tonks stretched as she lay in Snape’s arms, her back tensing and relaxing against his hands. The fire warmed the room but there was still a hint of cold in the air which made staying beneath blankets an easy choice. She knew she could sleep easily in his embrace, lulled by the comfortable darkness of the bedroom, by the safety of the sanctuary.

“We will have to get up,” he said, breaking the spell and earning himself a disgruntled moan from her. “I have no particular desire to face the Dark Lord’s wrath nor Andromeda’s because we spent too long in bed.”

“I would say what’s the worst they could do,” she said, “but mum can get tetchy about missing family meals.”

“How many meals are you missing?” he said, quietly.

“Less,” she said, “since - just - less.” She pulled away from him and got out of bed. She left the bedroom, and when she returned from the bathroom, he was dressed but for the buttons on his shirt which he was doing up. The lamps were lit and her clothing was on the bed. He didn’t say anything as she dressed and he put on robes. She was braiding her hair and twirling it into a bun when he came up behind her. Her hair secured with a sticking charm, he put his arms around her and she lowered her hands to his. He kissed her neck and she leaned back against him. “So long as we keep showing up for work, I don’t think anyone cares what Aurors do to themselves.”

“Death Eaters are always on the lookout for weaknesses,” he said, kissing her neck again.

“What are you planning?” she said, her attempt at laughter settling into a tired sigh. There was a crack from the fire as a log split apart and spat sparks from the fireplace. Tonks jumped and Snape tightened his hold on her as their heads whipped around to see where the sound had come from. Both their wand hands twitching only to realise their wands were elsewhere.

He stroked her stomach and she eased out of his embrace. He watched her put on her robes and cloak. Wand retrieved, she walked back to him. He stroked her cheek and she leaned into his touch.

“Want to help me escape?” she said.

“I need to visit the greenhouses anyway,” he said.

“Potions for Voldemort?” she guessed. He nodded. “Right, of course.”

She stood quietly while he pulled on his cloak. Her attention lost to the fire until his hand took hers and she intertwined her fingers with his. He made to leave the room but stopped when she didn't follow him.

"Tonks?"

She closed the distance and rested her head on his shoulder. He squeezed her hand and she sighed. She held the edge of his cloak in her free hand and he reached beneath her cloak to stroke her back.

"Family," she murmured, before taking a deep breath and straightening up. She cast a Disillusionment Charm over herself and he led her out of his quarters, letting her hand go before the door closed.

Tonks followed Snape, his billowing robes confined by his cloak. The threat of winter clawed at the castle. Through the frost edged windows, the edges of the fading autumn day cast strands of gold which shimmered as she walked through them. The great doors slammed against the stone and the growing number of students milling around the castle made way for their DADA professor as he strode into the grounds.

"Hello sunshine," said Poppy, walking towards Snape. There was a snort of laughter from Tonks and Snape stopped. Poppy's eyes lit up as Snape looked up at the sky. Poppy took a moment to find the slight shimmer a short distance from Snape. "Tonks, dearest, I would say it's lovely to see you but I rather think you're trying to go undiscovered."

"Hi Madam Pomfrey," said Tonks, quietly, as she tried to stop herself from laughing. She bit her finger and looked at Snape who had his arms crossed.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" said Snape, with the briefest glance in Tonks's direction.

"I do," said Tonks, with an amused sigh. "See you, Madam Pomfrey."

"Take care, child," said Poppy.

There was the sweep of a cloak and careful footsteps across the hard ground. The footsteps paused and there was a rustle of fabric, then the footsteps started again, Tonks's sigh lost amongst the chatter of students going in and out of the castle. She pulled the hood of her cloak up and though her breath turned to mist in front of her, the haze of fading light covered her presence.

"And where are you heading?" said Poppy.

"Greenhouses," said Snape, starting to walk away and tearing his attention from where the faintest trace of a shimmer lingered before being lost from sight.

"Excellent," said Poppy, "I could do with a walk."

"You're already out," he said, as she caught up with him.

"I was visiting Hagrid," she said. "And it appears I'm not the only Hufflepuff visiting with you today."

"Seeing Pomona doesn't count as visiting," he said.

"How is Tonks?" said Poppy. "My worries were only eased last weekend knowing that she was with you.”

"She recouped somewhat by the time she left," he said. There were fewer students around as Snape and Tonks approached the greenhouses.

"Recouped?" enquired Poppy.

"You will have to ask her if you want details," he said, frowning slightly when he glanced at Poppy and saw her fond smile.

There was a joyful hello from the greenhouses as Pomona spotted Snape and Poppy. Poppy waved and called back in greeting. Snape said hello when they were closer. Pomona gestured to Snape to head into the greenhouses, used to him gathering potion supplies even now he was the DADA professor. Poppy and Pomona nattered away comfortably with each other while Snape made his way through the greenhouses. He slipped back out into the grounds with a nod to Poppy and Pomona. Poppy sighed as she watched him leave.

Tonks walked, wand in hand, through the grounds. She kept her distance from the few students braving the cold and once she was alone she apparated home.

Walking through the gate, she looked around the garden and saw a big black dog being chased by two black swans. Cygnus and Druella were in a foul mood and Sirius's joyful barks were getting closer to Tonks. She swore and started running towards the cottage, Sirius and the swans hot on her heels. When she screamed, the door opened and she ran into the kitchen, falling over just as Sirius's paws lost traction on the floor and he slid to a halt on his belly beside her. The door slammed shut before Cygnus and Druella could follow them. Tonks groaned and shoved Sirius who lay shifted and laughing in exhilaration beside her.

"Hello darling," said Andromeda.

"Hi mum," said Tonks, as Sirius helped her sit up. She shoved Sirius again. Cygnus and Druella were outside the door making their displeasure known.

“Beautiful landing,” said Ted, smiling fondly at the pileup on the floor before turning his attention back to the meal he was cooking.

“Hi dad,” said Tonks.

Sirius flung an arm around Tonks’s shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. She kissed his cheek in return.

"Merlin, that’s going to leave bruises,” said Tonks, rubbing her knees.

“All part of the fun,” said Sirius. Remus walked over and held out his hand to Tonks. “Don’t I get a hand?”

“You provoked two creatures that would terrify even Voldemort,” said Remus, to collective laughter. “All Tonks did was try to get in the cottage.” He helped Tonks stand up and they shared a brief hug as Sirius clambered up from the floor trying his best not to groan. Andromeda walked over and took his face in her hands.

“I think you’ll live,” she said. Sirius pouted and she laughed. She went over to the table and laid out the napkins she had left in a pile when Tonks and Sirius came barrelling into the kitchen. “Come now, we’ll be ready to eat as soon as the two of you clean up.”

Tonks and Sirius looked at each other, then at their hands. Sirius bopped Tonks on the nose with his muddy hand and, laughing, ducked her hands muddy from the floor, that were reaching for his cheeks. They snorted as they pushed up against each other at the sink to wash their hands. Sirius grabbed a cloth and wiped the mud off Tonks’s face.

Andromeda and Remus looked at each other. Andromeda doing her best to control her smirk while Remus blushed and kept shooting glances at Tonks and Sirius.

Tonks was handing a serving dish laden with roast vegetables to Sirius when Andromeda said, “How is Savage?” Tonks looked at her mother and Sirius grabbed the dish before it could crash to the table.

“They’re okay,” said Tonks, avoiding her mother’s gaze and picking up another dish of vegetables.

“Sirius told us about the Order meeting,” said Andromeda.

“He didn’t say anything about the meeting itself,” said Remus, and Tonks nodded as Sirius grabbed the new dish she was holding. The reminder ever present to keep up the pretense that they kept everything related to the Order a secret from her parents. Moody had long given up that fight, but Tonks tried. Still plagued by the constant feeling that her family ties would get her kicked out of the Order. Remus coughed. “There was just a passing mention that you threatened several people and Moody had to give you commands to stop.” He shot Tonks an apologetic glance. “Twice.”

“He’s making it sound worse than it was,” said Tonks.

“I rather think we haven’t heard the half of it,” said Andromeda. “Even Moody said little more than that you and Savage had a grim night.” She put down her cutlery and adjusted the napkin on her lap. “However, the looks I got in Diagon Alley during the week were quite something, even more so than usual.”

“Savage was involved,” said Ted. “We know what you did to protect them before you became an Auror.” He and Remus swapped serving dishes. “We’ve never for a moment thought that would stop once you trained and qualified.”

“People were accusing them!” said Tonks, her eyes widening when she realised she had raised her voice. She put down her cutlery and crossed her arms. “You know they won’t defend themself outside of work.”

“So you threatened people?” said Andromeda.

“I aimed my wand,” said Tonks, “and then Moody told me to hold my fire, so I did.” She stared at the meal in front of her and felt her appetite begin to disappear. “And only one command was to stop.” She shifted where she sat. “Strictly speaking.” There was a heavy silence around the table. The recognition of what she could have done. Of what she was capable of. Andromeda and Ted shared a glance. Their concerns had been less that Tonks was threatening people but that she was showing people where her weaknesses lay. This was war, and everything was a weapon.

“Good thing your man wasn’t there,” said Sirius. Startled, Tonks looked up, and everyone else was shaken from their thoughts.

“What?” said Tonks.

“You might have scared him off,” said Sirius.

“I don’t think Dora would ever be with someone who scared easily,” said Ted, looking at Remus who sunk lower in his chair but nonetheless gave an embarrassed nod of thanks. Remus shot a nervous glance at Andromeda who was smiling softly.

“You mean faced with an Auror about to fire hexes, he wouldn’t have flinched?” said Sirius.

“Fire hexes?” said Andromeda.

“I held my fire,” said Tonks, stiffly. “And no, me firing hexes wouldn’t scare him.” She stretched, rolled her shoulders, and sat up straighter. “He’s a decent duelling partner, I mean, we’ve practised together sometimes.”

“Duelling partner?” said Sirius, laughing. “Spent your day hexing each other, did you?” He waggled his eyebrows and tricked a small laugh from Tonks. She smiled and bit her lip.

“I only hexed him once,” she said, leaning closer to Sirius, a wicked grin dancing on her lips and her eyes bright, thoughts happy to run away with the distraction of him, “but we did have sex three times.” A strangled cough made Tonks look up. “It’s no different to being with you.”

Remus had gone Gryffindor red as he stared at the ceiling. Andromeda was doing her best to keep from laughing as she watched Sirius look back and forth between Remus and Tonks. Andromeda reached out and grabbed Ted’s hand. Ted was glad to hear laughter around their kitchen table, even as he tried not to think about why it was happening. He looked at Andromeda, drinking in her smile.

“Merlin,” said Sirius. “No wonder you like him.”

Tonks tried to reconcile all that happened since the morning, all they’d gone through in a few hours feeling like days of trying to find a way.

“Tonks?”

She sunk back in her chair and fiddled with the hem of her robes, staring at a loose thread. Sirius nudged her thigh. The laughter had settled into amused sighs. Remus was a gentle shade of pink instead of violent red.

“More than like him,” said Tonks. “I - I - ” She stood up, the chair scraping against the floor, and walked to the door. “Dad, I need to, can we talk?” At the glances from Andromeda, Sirius, and Remus, she chewed her lip. “It’s - it’s a Hufflepuff thing.”

“Of course,” said Ted, getting up from the table, a slight frown creasing his face. With that, Tonks slipped outside, the kitchen all of a sudden too much. Ted squeezed Andromeda’s shoulder and she kissed his hand, then he was heading out of the kitchen.

“A Hufflepuff thing?” murmured Sirius, as they all watched the door close behind Ted. Andromeda’s fingers lingered on her mouth and she watched the door. “Andromeda?”

“She definitely feels more than a liking of him,” said Andromeda, taking care not to glance at Remus. “Something’s changed.”

“She’s hexing him,” said Sirius, slowly. “Do you think she’s pregnant?”

“She needed Ted,” said Andromeda, shaking her head, “she won’t have been joking about it being a Hufflepuff matter, though.”

“She’s not pregnant,” said Remus. Andromeda arched a brow and Remus coughed. “When she was at Grimmauld Place in the week, she was struggling with bludgers.”

“Bludgers?” said Sirius.

“Her periods worsened after Bellatrix attacked her at the Ministry,” said Andromeda, “she said she felt like she was being constantly hit by bludgers and the phrase stuck.”

“Can’t St Mungos do something?” said Sirius.

“They only treated her properly after the attack because Ted and Moody kept a constant vigil,” said Andromeda, her expression darkening. “I couldn’t even be there on my own with her because of twitchy healers.” She took a deep breath and her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “She won’t go back there and hasn’t wanted to see other healers.”

“Kingsley did his best,” said Remus, absentmindedly.

“Remus, darling, you did what you could, too,” said Andromeda. “I’ve not forgotten.”

Sirius crossed his arms and his face hardened. He had been at the Ministry during the attack and fought alongside Harry, Harry’s friends, and the Order, then forced to return to Grimmauld Place, still a fugitive, stuck in his own home once he made sure Harry was safe. He had seen Tonks unconscious on the ground and been unable to help her.

“None of them are suffering for what they did,” said Sirius. The Death Eaters handed their escape on a silver platter by Fudge. Sirius forced back into hiding despite Fudge seeing his true allegiance.

“Severus said they were punished,” said Andromeda.

“Do you really trust him?” said Sirius. “None of them are in Azkaban, none of them, Andromeda.”

“Nymphadora believed him,” said Andromeda.

“As if she was going to challenge him in the middle of Order meetings when she was still recovering,” said Sirius. “Dumbledore might have the whole story but Snape was probably just saying what people wanted to hear in meetings.”

“Be careful,” cautioned Andromeda, her eyes narrowed, no softness in her features.

“The man’s a Death Eater, for Merlin’s sake,” said Sirius.

“So is Bellatrix,” said Andromeda, “so was Regulus.”

Ted and Tonks walked in silence to the greenhouses, taking a wide path around the pond from where Cygnus and Druella watched them, as the autumn air nipped at them. The greenhouses had always been the place where Ted and Tonks spent most of their time together. From when Ted had carried a newborn Tonks in his arms as he watered plants and sang to his daughter while Andromeda rested, to chasing after Tonks once she was on her feet and held no regard for which plants were safe to eat. When she was older, she stopped trying to eat every plant she met, but nonetheless would come off worse from confrontations with plants despite Ted’s words of caution. As a teenager, during difficult times, she would sit on the greenhouse floor and tend to trays of seedlings while Ted pruned bigger plants, and neither would say a word, instead working quietly together. Tonks walked into the warm greenhouse and gently tickled a rose before stroking large silver blooms on a vine whose tendrils reached out towards her. She ran her fingers around the tendrils of the vine which had spent her childhood slowly making its way across the ceiling of the greenhouse. Ted cast an Aguamenti on some hardy seedlings before turning back to Tonks.

“I asked him to be family,” said Tonks. “Just me and him.” She crossed and uncrossed her arms. Her eyes shining with joy which was on a knife edge and threatening to tumble into grief. “He said yes.”

“Without any hesitation, I’m sure,” said Ted, smiling softly.

Ted remembered Andromeda’s hesitancy in realising family could be chosen. It didn’t have to be decided only by blood or arrangement. Loyalty and love could have a home all of its own. She sat on his bed in the Hufflepuff dormitories and stared at him as if waiting for the punchline of a joke she didn’t understand anyway. And then she had run back to the dungeons to plan. Once Andromeda realised she had a choice, that there was another way, she was unstoppable. She had known what she wanted all along and he had found a way for it to happen. For her to reconcile a life of what she had been taught family was, and her loyalty and love for him. Family. Family could be whatever she wanted it to be.

Tonks’s laughter faltered and she swallowed.

“Dora?” said Ted.

“I don’t know if he’s going to make it through the war,” said Tonks, her voice breaking as she tumbled into her father’s open arms. “I don’t know if he’s even expecting to.”

Ted put his arms around Tonks and she buried her face in his shoulder. He made gentle sounds of reassurance, stopping only to kiss her hair from time to time, remembering how last time there had been a war, he had been able to carry her in his arms when she cried. How he had never stopped fearing for their lives.

Moody had been the one to tell Andromeda and Ted that Tonks was in St Mungos after the attack at the Ministry. Voldemort was officially back and Bellatrix had led the charge. Within minutes, Ted was on his way to St Mungos with Moody. Andromeda stayed at home watching the fire burn low, the summer night unusually cool. When there was a knock at the door, dawn was edging over the horizon.

Snape had taken a risk and come to her straight from Malfoy Manor. News would spread like wildfire. He wasn’t surprised to find her at the cottage or to find her alone. Andromeda said nothing as Snape told her Bellatrix had been the one to attack Tonks. Or that Bellatrix had been punished while Narcissa was forced to bear witness. Narcissa had been spared, but then, she hadn’t been given the opportunity to fail. He didn’t mention Lucius and she didn’t ask. Snape told Andromeda everything she needed to know, everything she would want to know. She didn’t trust herself to thank him. Not for coming to her first, before the Order, before Dumbledore. Not for giving her the grace to hear the news alone. Not for giving her the truth that others would sugarcoat and edge around.

He saw himself out. When she heard the crack of disapparition, she fell to her knees, a cry ripped from her. Her daughter lay in St Mungos and if she were to burst in there, she would find herself on the wrong end of wands, because she knew - she knew from bitter experience - people would look at her and see her sister, the one who had tried to kill her daughter. Bellatrix would suffer for days, possibly longer, from the punishment meted out by Voldemort. Andromeda knew Bellatrix would still try to kill Tonks. She had never stopped trying and never would.

Andromeda had been disowned by her family, had severed her ties, had run for all she was worth, and still been unable to run away from the belief that being family meant she was one of them. Andromeda stood up, swept her hands across her dress, and threw Floo powder into the fireplace. She stepped into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, tackled by Sirius into a hug, both fugitives from their family, both holding onto each other fiercely. Earlier that night he had run and protected Harry. As the sun rose, they were both forced to protect the ones they loved by waiting, hidden away.

“Family,” huffed Sirius, though he averted his gaze, glancing at Remus as he realised too late that he hadn’t so much nudged the line as trampled on it. “Andromeda?” He hesitated then reached out for her hand. “Look, I know Bellatrix is family.” He swallowed as she took his hand. “Reg was, too.”

Andromeda knew then why Tonks had needed Ted. She almost wanted to laugh. Tonks didn’t realise that Snape knew more of her family than she did. Knew what family meant. Knew what was involved. Unless she had been careful. Very careful. And she meant family in the way Ted had taught Andromeda was possible. That loyalty could become something more. That love could live where it wanted. Andromeda still wrestled with what was innate for her husband and daughter. She loved despite family, they loved because of family.

“He chose her,” murmured Andromeda.

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other, thrown off kilter by the way Andromeda’s features had softened and the echo of a smile danced on her lips as she stared at the fire.


	32. Chapter 32

When Tonks and Ted came back into the kitchen, the discussion around the table was of Yule celebrations. Andromeda and Ted exchanged a glance and with the slightest of nods there was an understanding between them of what had happened. Tonks watched her parents, wondering how they did it. Entire conversations contained in the incline of a head, a shrug, a knowing smile.

“You okay?” said Sirius, scratching Tonks’s thigh like she was a dog. She intertwined her fingers with his and smiled, though her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

“Yeah,” said Tonks. "I'm fine, honest."

Sirius slung his arm around Tonks to pull her close enough to kiss on the cheek.

While Tonks, Remus, and Ted gently made their way through dinner, passing dishes back and forth, Andromeda and Sirius continued to bat ideas for Yule back and forth, trying to make decisions about a Black gathering alongside Harry being at the Burrow for the Christmas holidays.

Since Harry couldn’t apparate, everyone had agreed it was simpler for him to stay with Ron and his family, since Sirius and Remus could apparate there easily. Sirius had a suspicion that Harry was looking forward to getting to spend two weeks in close proximity to Ginny. Harry was a little too enthusiastic in his letters telling Sirius what a good chaser Ginny was, even if he was quidditch captain. He certainly hadn’t mentioned the rest of his team's technique in such fine detail.

“I saw Molly Weasley when I was in Diagon Alley,” said Andromeda.

Tonks looked at her mother and realised why her summons had been for a Saturday and not a Sunday. 

“Uh, Molly kind of ambushed me at Grimmauld Place,” said Tonks. "After I let the Order meeting."

“Molly told me that everyone was home and looking forward to see you.”

“Apparently.”

“So who is Charlie dating?” said Andromeda, lightly.

“I’m sworn to secrecy.” Tonks smirked as her mother’s nose scrunched up in amused defeat.

“Why does it matter who Charlie’s dating?” said Sirius.

“Because if he was dating me, then I wouldn’t be getting invited to the Burrow,” said Tonks, cutting off her mother and Remus. Sirius’s brow furrowed and a heavy silence settled around the table. “Molly didn’t approve of Charlie and me when we were at Hogwarts.”

“You dated Charlie at Hogwarts?” said Sirius. Remus took Sirius’s hand in his. It happened from time to time. The reminder that Sirius had been absent from their lives for twelve years. The things he was yet to be caught up on. The eras of lifetimes he had missed. “I knew you were friends.”

“I'm his favourite Hufflepuff,” said Tonks, with a smile that cut through her.

“Nymphadora,” said Andromeda, “you don’t need to do this, I can - ”

“No,” said Tonks, her voice catching, “no, it’s okay.” She took Sirius’s other hand and squeezed before letting go and wrapping her arms around herself. She stared at the plate in front of her. “Word got around about my detentions for being caught out after curfew and sneaking in and out of Gryffindor Tower.”

“Someone in the family needed to keep up that tradition,” said Sirius, slowly, watching Tonks fold in on herself. “And Molly doesn’t like you for that?”

“That and my perfectly lovely family,” said Tonks, her words too quick in her desire to be rid of them, “I'm not the marrying sort, not ready to have kids, too ambitious for wanting to be an Auror.”

“This was while you were at Hogwarts?” said Sirius, as he tried to wrap his head around how this had come from Molly. But then, he remembered how Molly had treated him after he came back to Grimmauld Place having been on the run.

“Christmas holidays of seventh year,” said Tonks. “She told Charlie I wasn’t the girl for him.” She took a deep breath and looked at Sirius. “We didn’t do anything because of her - we still love each other - don’t, please, don’t be angry at him.” 

“Your family?” said Sirius, in disbelief.

“Molly doesn’t like Slytherins,” said Ted. He still bristled at how differently Molly behaved towards him compared to Andromeda. How Molly seemed to think his wife and daughter were somehow tainted by their belonging and connection to Slytherin house.

“Darling,” said Andromeda, “you’re a Gryffindor like she is and I know she still isn’t overly fond of you.” She sat back, arms crossed. "This despite what happened with Arthur and St Mungos, and for Merlin's sake you're Harry's godfather and she's still found fault with you."

“Last year was - Molly and I had our moments,” said Sirius. Remus snorted and Sirius’s mouth twisted. They had been rather more than moments. “But everyone knows we were blasted off the tapestry.”

“I will always have Bellatrix,” said Andromeda, “you will always have Regulus.”

“Had,” said Sirius, quietly. “No avoiding Lucius, either.” Andromeda shook her head. “No one else knows about Draco?”

“What about Draco?” said Remus. 

Sirius swore and bit his lip. 

“Draco was Marked during the summer,” said Andromeda.

“No,” said Remus. “He’s only sixteen.” Andromeda nodded and Ted rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Sixteen, I - ” His hand over his mouth, he could only think of the thirteen year old Draco. Three years ago that boy had been provoking Hippogriffs and a certain muggleborn, excelling in Remus’s classes, and now he was a Death Eater.

Sirius was looking curiously at Tonks and she was trying to look as surprised as Remus and failing.

“You knew,” said Sirius, bluntly. “How?”

“I told her,” said Andromeda, easily, “Draco is her cousin, and if she’s going to face Death Eaters, I think she has a right to know who might be beneath the mask.”

“You tell Dumbledore and Snape that?” said Sirius.

“On this occasion, I think Severus has a bigger say than Dumbledore,” said Andromeda, “he’s the boy’s godfather, after all.” She pinned Sirius with her gaze. “You know what it means to have a godson.”

“I'm not a Death Eater,” protested Sirius. “I’m trying to protect Harry.”

“Severus wants to protect Draco,” said Andromeda, “ and don’t you dare suggest that you don’t care about Draco, either.”

“He - Andromeda - he - ”

“Draco’s a child,” said Tonks, quietly. “He is a child and Voldemort branded him.” She looked at Sirius, her eyes shining. “He’s family.” Her voice broke then, and she got up from the table. “And I am under official orders to kill him if necessary.”

Remus grabbed Sirius as he tried to get up and Tonks left the kitchen, her robes smacking against the door in her haste to leave. A moment later there was the crack of disapparation.

Within minutes of Snape’s Dark Mark burning, there was a knock on his door. Draco stood there, paler than usual, hands shoved in his robes and fidgeting. Snape held the door open and without a word spoken between them, Draco headed to the sofas and sunk down in one, his legs hanging over the arm of the sofa.

This time Snape had been able to give Draco warning that Death Eaters would be summoned over the weekend, keeping Draco back at the end of class for the moments that the boy would concede to so that Snape could tell him what was planned. Snape’s orders were to ignore the summons so he could fulfil Voldemort’s potions needs instead and go to Malfoy Manor later that night. Draco had to ignore all summons and still he burned.

Snape was planning the brewing to be done and picked up a book from the table when he sat on the sofa opposite Draco. Snape called for a house-elf and ordered a plate of sandwiches and drinks. Draco cast a sullen glance at his godfather which went ignored.

“I’ve barely seen you all week,” said Snape, flipping through the pages of an old tome.

“I was in class,” said Draco.

A house-elf appeared with a pop and left a tray of food and drink on the table between Draco and Snape. Snape gave the house-elf his thanks before they disapparated with another pop.

“A more verbose student I’ve yet to encounter,” said Snape. “Your absence was noted at the quidditch match last weekend, too.”

“Had other things to do,” said Draco, shifting. “It’s only quidditch.”

Snape looked up at Draco, the boy who had spent much of first year lamenting that Potter got to play quidditch when he couldn’t. Who had run to Snape’s quarters in second year and bounced around with glee because he was on the team and with a better broom than Potter. Who, if found inside Malfoy Manor, was usually in a quidditch kit and on his way back from flying or about to go out. Who had been almost impossible to pry from his broom once he was allowed to fly as a young child. Who had been unshakable in his belief that quidditch was almost as important as breathing. At least, until last year. Draco stared at nothing and Snape sighed.

“Eat,” said Snape.

“Already eaten,” mumbled Draco, sinking lower on the sofa.

“You do recall that I attend meals in the Great Hall from time to time,” said Snape, “I’ve yet to see you do more than pick at your food lately.” Draco swore under his breath and grabbed a sandwich from the tray. 

“You weren’t there this morning,” said Draco, “you’re hardly ever there at weekends.”

“And what a struggle you’ve endured in finding me,” said Snape, picking up another book and opening it where there was already a bookmark. “Eat the sandwich, Draco, and don’t play with it like you’re still a toddler.”

“Manners,” said Draco, pulling a face and trying to mimic his mother, then taking a bite of the sandwich.

“Quite.” 

“How come the house-elves bring you decent food?” said Draco, finishing the sandwich and picking up another.

“Perks of being a professor,” said Snape. He glanced at Draco who was staring at the bookshelves and quietly making his way through the sandwich as his hand kept drifting to rub his left arm. Draco finished the sandwich and grabbed a glass of pumpkin juice.

“What?” said Draco, looking at Snape warily before he downed the pumpkin juice.

Draco was sixteen. Sixteen. Sixteen and Marked. Snape had known it would be a possibility of Draco’s future when Voldemort was still in power during Draco’s infancy. Had known it would be highly likely if Voldemort returned. It had still been horrific knowing it was going to happen. It managed to be worse when he watched it happen. Snape didn’t know how Narcissa had maintained her composure. Lucius had excused himself. Narcissa thanked Voldemort for the faith he was showing in her son. When Snape was finally alone, he went straight for a bottle of Ogden’s, wondering how a child was to be protected when they were forced to court danger.

“If you’re quite done getting crumbs on the furniture,” said Snape, “I want to get on with preparing potion ingredients.” 

Draco rolled his eyes, clambered off the sofa, and headed towards the lab. Snape followed Draco and pushed the boy by his blond head towards one of the benches. Draco smoothed his hair and huffed.

“I know the seventh years have been teaching the sixth years to make a potion,” said Snape, suppressing a smirk when Draco crossed his arms and stared at the floor. “You can show me how their teaching methods hold up.”

“Do I have to?”

“You don’t want to prove that you’re competent in brewing a potion which all Slytherins are meant to know before leaving Hogwarts?” said Snape, as he fetched the cauldrons he needed. “This isn’t even N.E.W.T. level work.”

“I can - we’re - she - ”

“She would want to prove that she could brew the potion,” said Snape, “and she will no doubt expect you to teach her if there is ever cause for you to brew it in the first place.”

“Merlin,” said Draco, groaning, as he shot a glance at Snape. “You really do know who she is.”

“And I know she at least is competent in charmwork,” said Snape.

“I know how to do it.” Draco kicked the leg of the bench, though he didn’t put much effort into it. 

“Is this really something you want to be risking, Draco?” said Snape. “You continue to compromise yourself and if you fail to recognise the ways in which that can happen, you are putting your safety and hers at further risk for as long as this continues.”

“She's worth it,” Draco shot back. He straightened up and Snape could see him trying to find a semblance of confidence. “I can keep her safe, and after the war - ”

“She knows you’ve been Marked?” said Snape, turning his back on Draco, ostensibly to take things down from a shelf. He heard the slightest sniff and a deep breath.

“I’ve never let her see it,” said Draco, eventually.

“That’s not going to protect her, Draco,” said Snape. He thought of Tonks who would trace his Dark Mark. He didn’t like it but knew there was little point stopping her. Her curiosity and fascination would only lead her to find a different way to knowing more. He leant against the bench and rolled up his sleeves, watching Draco who was still intent on divining some truth from the flagstones.

“It’s - she - she doesn’t know for certain,” Draco admitted.

“But she has suspicions,” said Snape.

Draco nodded and Snape thought there might have been a mumbled, “Yes,” as Draco picked out a cauldron, comfortable in the private lab which he had been spending time in since his first year, sometimes to work, sometimes to sulk, sometimes to hide.

“Does she know about your mission from the Dark Lord?”

“No,” said Draco, pulling ingredients from the shelves, “yes, she knows - she knows something’s been - been - ”

“Bothering you?”

“Something like that,” said Draco. 

“You don’t have to do it,” said Snape, simply, while he kept his focus on the potions ingredients in front of him.

“Yes I do!” Draco dropped the stirring rod and it fell to the floor with a clang. He tried to catch his breath, but wide eyed he watched his godfather glance up at him. “It’s the only way to keep them safe.”

“To keep who safe?” said Snape.

“Mum and - and her,” said Draco, hesitating before picking up the stirring rod. Neither of them paused to think of how his father was absent from those he wanted to keep safe. Lucius had lost Draco a long time ago, and Snape wasn’t sure Lucius had ever had Draco in the first place. Draco was an heir, a pawn, and not much more.

“You could go into hiding,” suggested Snape.

Draco’s empty laugh echoed around the lab. He swore and stared at Snape.

“I’m not suggesting you turn spy,” said Snape, “the Dark Lord might not be fond of me for suggesting you do so, but hiding is an option.” He dug through a drawer of knives. “You think you’re capable of carrying out the mission the Dark Lord has given you, why not hide instead?”

At worst, if word got back to Voldemort, he would likely be content that Snape was either testing Draco or giving into his concerns as a godfather. The mission was as much to torture Lucius and Narcissa because it was quietly understood that Snape would likely be fulfilling the orders regardless. It turned out the ones suffering were Narcissa and Draco.

“Where would I even go,” said Draco, harshly, though he couldn’t keep the curiosity from his voice. Snape sighed and Draco knew then that his godfather did have somewhere in mind. Draco fiddled with a leaf he was meant to be chopping up. “She wouldn’t come with me.”

“Your mother would go into hiding with you,” said Snape, wondering if there was a chance. If not, Draco was going to condemn himself to try and carry on with his mission.

“Hermione wouldn’t,” said Draco, quietly, giving up and shredding the leaf with his fingers, unable to look at Snape. “Can’t you get mum out anyway?”

“You think she would go into hiding without knowing you were safe?” said Snape.

“No,” said Draco.

They worked in silence while Draco brewed one potion and Snape worked on several. It wasn’t long before spirals of steam wound their way up towards the ceiling of the dungeon. Draco tried to keep his focus on the potion Snape had set him to brewing, and Snape glanced up occasionally, pleased to see Draco’s skills in potion making hadn’t deteriorated over the summer and that even if his attention was wandering away in the direction of Gryffindor Tower, he was still competent with a cauldron.

“Finished,” said Draco, leaning against the bench, arms crossed. There was the slightest hesitation in him, aware that whilst he wasn’t about to be given a grade, he was definitely going to have his work assessed. Snape put another ingredient into one of his cauldrons and left them to stir themselves. He walked over to the bench Draco was working at.

“Narcissa will be pleased,” said Snape, moving the potion around with the stirring rod. “I don’t think she had her sights set on becoming a grandmother yet.”

“What?” The word was strangled as Draco’s cheeks flushed gently. “You - you haven’t told her about - ”

“I don’t need to,” said Snape. “She would have been taught how to make this potion when she was a sixth year.” He smiled at his godson’s horror. “She may even have taught sixth years when she was a seventh year.” 

“Merlin,” groaned Draco. He shot a wary glance at Snape. “Please don’t tell her.”

“Because Hermione’s not a pureblood or because your parents didn’t arrange for you to be together?”

“Toujours Pur,” said Draco, once again practicing divination on the flagstones. “And - and the pureblood thing.”

“That’s the Black motto,” said Snape, “not the Malfoy motto.”

“I know,” said Draco. He kicked the flagstones. “But it’s what mum’s always harped on about.”

“Don’t you think she’s more concerned about what you’re doing for the Dark Lord than, as far as she’s concerned, the possibility that you’re doing what a teenager your age might be expected to do?”

“Just,” he rubbed his face, “don’t tell her.”

Snape went back to the cauldrons which needed attention.

“Please?” said Draco.

“I won’t tell her,” said Snape, adding more ingredients to one of the cauldrons and taking another further from the flames. Draco was trying to appease Voldemort while he protected a muggleborn. A Gryffindor, no less. Did he think he could protect her if Voldemort won? How did he think he was going to escape if Voldemort lost? Snape had no idea how lenient the Wizengamot would be this time around if it came to putting Death Eaters on trial. If Dumbledore wasn’t around to vouch for Draco, it would likely be for a reason which meant he wouldn’t be able to vouch for Draco, either. “I am going to be here for a while longer, what are you planning to do with the rest of your afternoon?”

“Greg and Vince are off doing something,” said Draco, “and Theo is, uh, busy, so is Blaise.”

“Do I want to know?” said Snape.

“No.”

“Should I know?”

Draco coughed and scratched the back of his head.

“Wonderful,” said Snape, with a frustrated sigh. “Are you going to bottle that potion or get rid of it?”

Draco started to speak then huffed and vanished the potion. He cleared the space, putting the cauldron back where it belonged, along with the other tools he’d used. He leant against the bench and watched Snape continue to brew potions, knowing they were for Voldemort. A queasy sensation settled in Draco’s stomach, knowing what the potions his godfather brewed could do. Having seen what they could do.

“I’ll be at the Manor tonight,” said Snape, not looking up, “why not write to your mother, I can give her the letter.”

“What would I even write?” said Draco.

That you’re alive, thought Snape. Narcissa would be grateful to read anything so long as it was in his hand.

“She will want to know how your schoolwork is going,” said Snape. “I can never be sure if she believes me when I tell her you continue to be a competent student.”

Draco made a face. He found parchment, ink and a quill on a shelf. He dragged a stool over to the bench and sat down, slumping over the bench, elbow on the table and chin on his hand, the other hand fiddling with a quill. Snape watched Draco get lost in doodling brooms and snitches and quidditch gear. Eventually Draco rubbed his face, vanished the drawings, and started to write.

Snape could remember a younger Draco spilling ink, tearing parchment, and wrecking quills as he learned to write. Whenever Snape visited, Draco would be near Narcissa who delighted in each scrawl she was presented with, while Lucius complained about the mess. Narcissa might cry if she knew she had been denied ink snitches.

Tonks apparated to somewhere else. 

She didn't open her eyes. Instead she stood on the shingle and listened to the water push and pull against the shore. Birds were chattering in the trees and a breeze rustled leaves.

She heard Sirius's voice and opened her eyes to see his patronus. The dog pawing the ground, head down, as apologies slipped from the silver mist. She sent a patronus without a message in return. 

She cast her patronus again, content to watch the badger of silver mist paw at the water's edge before disappearing.

Tonks cast a wide Homenum Revelio. Even knowing she was alone, she warded the shore and the water nearest her. She undressed and cast a warming charm which she knew would keep her safe for a few minutes in the November chill. She knew if she didn't, that the cold water would claw at her, and try to take her for itself as if it held a Dark Magic of its own. Still suppressing a shudder, out of expectation more than sensation, she walked into the loch and started to swim once she was in deep enough. She tumbled and swam and stretched. Then her time was up. She knew she had to get out of the water before there was more than a suggestion of cold. Walking back up the shore, her skin ran with goosebumps, and an exquisite pain slunk through her veins as she remembered Snape hadn't taught her the drying charm which had encompassed her with unexpected delicacy. She cast the charm she knew, which left her wincing from its harsh touch. She wanted his touch. She dressed and cast another warming charm before lifting her wards.

She didn't know if he was at Hogwarts, Malfoy Manor, or somewhere else. How many somewhere elses did he have? All she knew was that he wasn't with her and she had a night to get through before she could try to find him.

Tonks apparated to Grimmauld Place. She knew the crack of apparition would give her away and Sirius was standing in the hallway when she opened the door. He didn't try to speak when she walked towards him. She kissed his cheek and turned to leave. 

"I love you," he said, not bothering to keep the pleading from his voice as she opened the front door.

Tonks paused, her hand on the door. She glanced back.

"I love you, too," she said, with the ghost of a smile, and then she was gone. The door closed behind her, the crack of disapparition proof of her departure. 

Remus walked out of the parlour and watched Sirius staring at the door. Remus put his arms around Sirius and rested his cheek against Sirius's black curls.

Draco left Snape’s quarters when Snape pointed out that dinner wasn’t an evening-long event. Draco left the letter for his mother folded up on the bench and went to the Great Hall. Snape worked for a few more hours before leaving the potions to their own devices while he retreated to his study. He didn’t grade papers or summon a house-elf for a meal. He picked up a book and stared at the same page for several minutes before putting it down. The armchair at the back of the room caught his attention and a small smile played on his lips. Then the night ahead came back. He watched the fire and wondered where she was. He was but a servant and tonight his duty was to provide potions. Suffering and relief contained with a few cauldrons. He had to maintain his cover no matter what.


	33. Chapter 33

Despite being a Saturday night, the revelry in Hogsmeade was well contained in the pubs and inns with patrons happy to keep their inebriation indoors. Tonks and Savage fell in and out of conversation as they trekked around the village, a pace once found, kept up. The night had yet to bring Death Eaters but moving roof slates and tumbling gravel caused the Aurors to stand back to back, surveying the world around them, wands drawn, the sense of attack not lessening when a cat was seen to trot away in the torchlight. Too many Death Eaters enjoyed playing with their prey and lulling an Auror into a false sense of security was sport.

Tonks and Savage were a few hours into their patrol when Tonks stopped and brought Savage to a halt. False alarms had plagued their night. A drunk witch who had pulled her wand on them had left Tonks on her own until Savage returned from taking the witch to the Ministry.

A Homenum Revelio revealed them to be alone, and still there was the uncomfortable feeling that maybe there was a Death Eater waiting just outside the range of the charm. Tonks’s head was tight and she rubbed circles on her forehead.

“Food?” said Tonks. Their patrol still had hours to go and she knew that if they were to remain sharp and alert, she had to do something. Savage grabbed Tonks’s hand in answer and started walking towards the Hog’s Head Inn.

“I thought you’d never ask,” said Savage. Tonks’s laugh brought something resembling warmth to her body again and she broke into a run with Savage. The smack of their boots against the ground echoing in the dark.

Tonks slipped into the Hog’s Head Inn moving between tables full of patrons making the best effort they could to pretend they weren’t brokering illicit deals, the number of glasses on the table rising the less successful they were in hiding their activities. Savage stayed outside, Hogsmeade unable to be left alone even for a moment. Tonks paused when she saw Hagrid and Flitwick with others, raucous laughter surrounding the table spread with playing cards and glasses of Firewhisky. Raising her hand in greeting she was met with good tidings in return before carrying onto the bar.

Aberforth handed over two bowls of stew and Tonks grabbed them, the spoons clanking against the pottery in her desperation to bring the heat to her body. As if a precious treasure, she held the bowls carefully and wound back around the tables and went outside. Perching pressed up against each other on a small grubby window sill of the Hog’s Head, Tonks handed a bowl to Savage who clutched the bowl to themself, breathing an indecent sigh of relief at the heat.

They ate in silence, heads darting up at different sounds piercing the silence, and caved to their worries after a few mouthfuls. Tonks stood up and put her bowl on the sill. Walking to the middle of the street, she cast different charms and Savage averted their gaze when Tonks cast a blinding light to check a roof further way causing several cats to scarper. Tonks huffed and returned to Savage who handed Tonks her bowl of stew. Tonks leant against the wall, unable to shake the trickle of fear which slid down her spine.

When Savage had finished eating, Tonks handed them her bowl which was still half full. They exchanged a glance but Savage said nothing and took the bowls back indoors to Aberforth.

Tonks’s breath turned to mist in front of her and even in the still night, the freezing temperatures were eager to roll across her skin and slip beneath her clothes. Savage was stamping their feet as they cast yet another warming charm. The clear night meant the two Aurors could see the stars, as if each constellation had been painted on the ink black sky while tinges of colour bled from the stars. Tonks glanced up at the sky and of her family, her gaze went to Draco. Sixteen. He was sixteen.

“Tonks?” said Savage.

“Draco was Marked over the summer.”

“What?” said Savage, knowing exactly what Tonks had said and desperately wanting to believe they had misheard her.

“Severus told me.” Tonks looked at Savage. “Dumbledore knows but the Order doesn’t.”

“He - he couldn’t have been of age,” said Savage. They stared at Tonks as they did the maths in their head. Then did it again. Draco was only in sixth year, if had been Marked over the summer he couldn’t have been seventeen.

“He still isn’t,” said Tonks. “He won’t be seventeen until June.”

Savage laughed, the sound falling from their lips in angry disbelief. They inhaled sharply and bit their lip. Sniffing, they said in a choked whisper, “He can’t fight like an adult.” They pulled their hood up and started walking. Tonks fell into step with them. “He couldn’t fight us.”

“I know,” said Tonks, quietly.

“Who else knows?” said Savage.

“Mum and dad,” said Tonks, “Sirius and Remus.”

Draco wasn’t the first child Voldemort had Marked. Tonks knew Regulus had been sixteen when he was Marked. The Auror department had records showing other Death Eaters who had been Marked before they came of age. As far as the Auror department was concerned, Voldemort hadn’t Marked a child since the First Wizarding War.

“There’d be no way to know if he was in a fight,” said Savage. “He wouldn’t be obvious by skill alone.” Tonks knew that behind their blunt words, Savage was trying to figure out ways to identify Draco in a fight. They rubbed their face. “We would kill him, Tonks.”

“I know,” said Tonks, knowing she would need more than a glance to know if she were fighting Snape. And if she couldn’t see him at once beneath the mask and robes, how would she know Draco? Her family had been Marked and her family had escaped. Except Regulus. Regulus, the only one in the family who had been Marked as a child. Until Draco.

All the qualified Aurors had killed and witnessed killings. It wasn’t a requirement. It was their reality. They had been at war longer than the public. Every reaction was different. Some Aurors were hungover for days. Others had bloodshot eyes, the causes of which were never questioned. Then there were the Aurors who said they were fine. And they were. Until a few months later. Sometimes it would be a slamming door which tore a reaction from them. Sometimes catching a glance of similar robes. Sometimes a child’s laughter as they passed by the Auror department with their parents.

“Forget killing people,” said Savage, “what does Voldemort think Draco could even do as a Death Eater while he’s at school?”

“He’s probably been taught some things,” said Tonks.

“Sure,” said Savage, “but does he understand what the intent is you need behind those things for them to work?”

“How can he?” She glanced back in the direction of Hogwarts, drawn to where he was. “He’s a child.” Where he was meant to be. “He - he’s - ”

“Family,” said Savage, heavily.

Tonks and Savage were heading back towards the north of the village when a crack of apparition split apart the night, a silence which had settled in place except for the crunch of frozen ground beneath their boots. Both Aurors turned to look in the direction of the sound but Savage’s gaze slid to Tonks whose brow furrowed as she chewed her lip.

“Is he family?” said Savage, slipping their hand in Tonks’s. Tonks squeezed Savage’s hand and turned back to them slowly. She didn’t hesitate in letting go of Savage’s hand and putting her arms around them.

Family. She knew she had more than many. She didn’t have many left to lose.

“You can’t die,” said Tonks. Savage held Tonks as tightly as Tonks held them. There were swallowed words and failed attempts at deep breaths. Tonks screwed up her eyes as her cheek pressed against Savage’s hair. Tonks didn’t want to imagine a world where this embrace wouldn’t happen again. Wasn’t possible. “You will always be my favourite Slytherin.”

“I need my Hufflepuff,” said Savage, their voice thick. “You have to survive, too.” They wanted to make Tonks take an Unbreakable Vow to stay out of danger. They wanted to help Sirius get her into hiding. They knew all they could do was fight side by side with her. “You have to.”

A house-elf was waiting to greet Snape at Malfoy Manor. He declined to ask the house-elf of Narcissa’s whereabouts. They were under no obligation to be honest with him. He was led to the room where Voldemort was holding court with a small number of Death Eaters. Bellatrix was on the floor, pouring herself over Voldemort’s lap. Lucius was nowhere to be seen. Either he was occupied elsewhere in the Manor or Voldemort had let him off his leash again to go on a raid. Snape suspected it wasn't the latter where as engaging in other activities was of no consequence to Voldemort.

“My Lord,” said Snape, briefly bowing his head.

“Severus,” said Voldemort, “how kind of you to grace us with your presence.” Snape smiled but understood he hadn’t been invited to speak. Voldemort saw the bag Snape was carrying. “As I required?”

“Everything, my Lord,” said Snape.

“Bella,” said Voldemort, “take Severus through to the parlour and see that all is in order.”

“Yes, my Lord,” said Bellatrix, getting up from the floor but keeping her body against his for as long as she could. She looked Snape up and down and strode from the room. Voldemort waved his hand in lazy dismissal at Snape who followed Bellatrix through to the parlour.

“She’s sick,” said Bellatrix.

Snape was taking potions from the bag. Some on their own, others contained further in more bags. A collection of vials in varying sizes and colours. Many of which, if anywhere else, would have been under stringent security.

“Try to be careful,” said Snape. Bellatrix was picking up different vials, reading the labels, then putting them down. She opened one of the smaller bags and was holding a vial up to the light of the lamps which sat the same precise distance from each other around the room. “I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” She scowled at him and made a sound of displeasure. Still she put the vial back with more care. Snape finished unpacking the bag, and gave the spread of potions a second glance. “Sick?”

“Apparently,” said Bellatrix, arms crossed, and standing unusually still. Snape met her gaze. This was the closest they ever came to a truce, to being on the same side. Never allies but for the need to try and protect the one person they had in common. The one at the mercy of more than Voldemort. Bellatrix turned away and Snape followed her back through to Voldemort. She sat on the arm of Voldemort’s chair and stroked his arm.

“All as it should be, Bella?” said Voldemort, though he looked at Snape.

“As you required, my Lord,” said Bellatrix.

“Good,” said Voldemort, he glanced at Bellatrix, the briefest assessment of her in his gaze before looking at Snape. “I would invite you to enjoy the entertainment the others are indulging in, however I still have need of you.”

“As you wish, my Lord,” said Snape. Voldemort gestured to one of his advisers who leapt up and presented Snape with a thick parchment envelope. Voldemort nodded at Snape and he opened the envelope, withdrawing the sheet filled with more potions Voldemort wanted. Voldemort watched him read the list and Snape looked up as soon as he was done.

“Can you brew these by tomorrow night?” said Voldemort.

“All but two, my Lord,” said Snape, “they wouldn’t be ready for a few days.”

“You will bring them as soon as they are ready,” said Voldemort.

“Of course, my Lord,” said Snape.

Voldemort was about to raise his hand when Bellatrix leant closer and whispered something in his ear. He lowered his hand.

“Severus,” said Voldemort. “Before you leave, our hostess has taken ill, see to her and bring what she requires tomorrow so long as it doesn’t interfere with your other work.” The slightest smile graced what remained of Voldemort’s lips. “You know where to find her.”

“My Lord,” said Snape, hearing the dismissal and bowing briefly. Bellatrix smirked, unable to keep the barb from her expression when he caught her gaze though he saw the troubled frustration not far beneath.

Snape knocked gently on the bedroom door and Narcissa’s voice came drifting through, saying, “Come in.” He pushed the door open and entered the dark room. A lamp flickered near the bed and the fire burned low. The room, like the rest of the Manor, was filled with decadent furniture draped in sumptuous fabrics. The bed which could have accommodated a small party was piled with pillows and blankets. And in the middle was Narcissa, lying on her side, watching him with a soft smile. He closed the door quietly then cast silencing charms and wards.

“You do look sick,” he said, leaving his bag near the door and walking to a large armchair which sat beside the bed. Narcissa patted the bed and he hesitated but sat beside her.

“At Death’s door, don’t you think?” she said. Her skin was paler than usual, her hair messy, and there were dark circles under her eyes. “I did something stupid, Severus.”

“There’s so much to choose from,” he said, “you’ll have to narrow it down.”

She held her hand out towards him. There was the briefest bluster of light which disappeared as soon as it was conjured. His brow furrowed, he looked up from her hand to see her resigned smile. Her hand fell back against the bed and she sighed. Her night gown slipped across her arm, the fragments of light in the room making the rich fabric glow.

“Narcissa?”

“It’s been weaker in recent weeks,” she said, “but I at least could do some wandless basics.”

“It can come back.”

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a moment until he caved and asked, “How?” Narcissa pointed to a table beside the bed. There was a large book, a glass of water, and an empty vial. Snape picked up the vial. “No.” He swore. “When did you take it?”

“A couple of nights ago,” she said. “I’ve no patience for lectures, Severus.” She watched him rub his forehead and look back up at her. “The house-elves were only able to bring what was already in the Manor.” He sat up, still turning the vial back and forth in his hands. She brushed her fingers across the sheets. “I didn’t have any other options.”

“Why didn’t you send an owl?” he said. “I brewed this months ago and it’s only meant to keep for a few weeks.”

“And have the owl be intercepted?” she said. “You know everything is checked, and I couldn’t find a moment to ask when you were last here.”

"You could have waited, surely?"

"Don't tell me what I could have done.”

“So you did something stupid,” he said. She managed a weak kick from beneath the blankets and tricked a smile from him. “You need a healer, Narcissa.”

“I’ll be fine, I just need to be better prepared.” Staring past him, she said, almost absentmindedly, “What Lucius wants, Lucius gets.” There was an echo of anger in her weakened voice. “From me, anyway.”

“Bellatrix wouldn’t need much encouragement,” said Snape.

“And I would be passed off to be comforted in my grief by someone else,” said Narcissa, “don’t be obtuse, Severus, we both know I wouldn’t be given to you.” She reached out and unable to hold her hand up, her hand rested on the sheets. He took her hand, stroking her fingers with his thumb. “Better Lucius than Antonin or Rodolphus.”

“You can’t even manage the charm, then?” he said, and she shook her head.

“I tried,” she said, “and clearly failed.” She looked at her hand in his. He let go and there was another brief blustering of light and sparks which extinguished itself in another moment. Narcissa was breathing heavily and Snape could see the slight sheen of sweat on her skin. He looked around the room and saw a basin and a cloth near the fire. He went over to the fire, soaked and wrung out the cloth, and returned to the bed. She closed her eyes as he brought the cloth to her face and with slow gentle movements her skin began to cool. He put the cloth on the table and she watched him shoot a glance of frustration at the vial which was back on the table, too. “I used to be powerful and I want to be powerful again.”

“What are you planning?”

“I’ve been researching,” she said. “The page is bookmarked.”

Snape picked up the book, an old obscure potions tome he hadn’t read in years, and found the bookmark. While he read, he fiddled with the length of ribbon Narcissa had used to keep her place. Page after page, flipping back and forth to check previous pages before carrying on, until he reached the end of the section.

“This is permanent, Narcissa,” he said, looking up at her.

“And I have Draco,” she said. “This doesn’t leave a trace and if a healer were ever to be summoned, they would find no sinister cause and simply consider me no longer capable.” Her gaze didn’t waver. “No spell to be traced back by Prior Incantato, either.”

“Narcissa,” he said, but his protest died on his lips when he saw her fraught expression. He put the book on the bed.

“The Dark Lord has been taking wands again,” she said, her voice catching, “which was fine when Lucius was otherwise occupied but he’s exercising his privileges regardless these days, even with the fine company we keep.”

“And your wandless magic is too weak,” he said, and he saw her nod. He looked at her, almost in apology. “The Vows don’t cover this.” Everything was a risk. A different way to be compromised.

“Which is why I’m asking my friend.”

“I’m Draco’s godfather and still you bound me with Unbreakable Vows.”

“You know why I had to,” she said. “Anything, Severus, I had to do anything I could to ensure he survives.”

“Sacrifice anything,” he said, as if to himself. Her smile wobbled and her eyes shone. Her fingers sought his wrist desperately, as if the two of them were about to make the Vow all over again. "I know why you had to." He had seen her cry on command and knew this wasn’t a performance. She swallowed as his fingers tightened around her wrist. He sighed heavily. “We’re still friends, Cissa.”

“I know you can brew it,” she said, her words slow as she fought to regain her composure.

“Why not go into hiding instead?”

“Is Draco prepared to?”

“No,” admitted Snape. “He still considers fulfilling his mission to be the best way of keeping you safe.”

“Who would even take us in?” she said. “The Order wouldn’t keep us safe and they would find a way to use Draco.”

“Andromeda,” said Snape, quietly.

Narcissa shook her head.

“And you?” she said. “The Dark Lord would know you had aided us.”

“Fingers would likely be pointed, yes,” he said. As if they weren’t already. He was the traitor, the spy, the Death Eater who walked in the Light.

“And it would conflict with your other bonds and Vows,” she said, reaching up to stroke the sleeve of his robes where his Dark Mark was beneath different layers of fabric.

“Seer,” he said.

“Don’t patronise me, Severus,” she said. She tried to sit up and he helped her as she faltered, the blankets in her hands held close as she tried to push herself up and keep herself covered. “I don’t need Seer blood in my veins to know you’re tightly bound.” He flinched when he caught sight of the sheets as she pulled the blankets up around herself. Her glare dared him to utter a word about it.

“You’re going to feel grim for a few days,” he said.

“Better that than what may come if I don’t,” she said.

“I’ll brew it tonight,” he said. “Have your house-elves put the book somewhere inconspicuous, I’ve already got an edition.” He got up from the bed and put the empty vial in a pocket. He glanced at the cloth and the basin. “The house-elves are tending to you?”

“Only when they are not required elsewhere,” she said, watching him. His bitter laugh fell in shards between them. She smiled apologetically.

“I’ll return tomorrow.”

“Because the Dark Lord requires you to do so.”

“Rest.”

He pulled Draco's letter from his robes and placed it on Narcissa's lap. He turned away and walked to the door, picking up his bag before lifting the wards and silencing charms. She didn't say a word and he didn’t look back as he left the room. Snape left Malfoy Manor without stopping to talk to anyone and stood in the lane, looking up at the stars before apparating.


	34. Chapter 34

Slivers of light crept through the edges of the Tonks cottage windows and Snape stood by the garden gate listening to the wildlife wandering about the world now the sun had set. The breeze nudged at his cloak and the night’s sky had the uncomfortable glow of threatening snow. He cast a silencing charm on the gate before slipping into the garden. He had no desire to face the swans’ wrath as well as Andromeda’s. She would know, she always did.

Ice in the cracks of the path glistened and frost spread across the stone like reflections of the intricate webs spiders spun in the bushes nearby. Soft splashes came from the pond along with the rustle of feathers. Snape knew if he wasn’t considering whether or not Andromeda would try and hex him, he would be able to concentrate and hear the river which flowed through the fields beyond the garden. Snape knocked on the door and had to wait only seconds for Andromeda to open the door.

“Severus,” she said. A small smile graced her lips. Ted called out a quiet greeting from where he sat by the fire with a book. Andromeda crossed her arms. “Do you want to come in?”

“I have need of your greenhouses,” he said, “that is if Ted will grant me access to them.”

“Of course,” said Ted, as he put his book down and crossed the kitchen. He took a cloak down from behind the door and slung it around his shoulders. He kissed Andromeda on the cheek and she stepped back to let him walk by. Snape waited for Ted to lead the way to the greenhouses, aware of the rustle behind them, as Ted pulled the hood of his cloak up. “Is Dora okay?”

“As far as I know,” said Snape. “I stayed at the Manor tonight and heard no news of attacks on Aurors.”

“She knows what she’s doing,” said Ted. There was the thud of the door being closed, and soft footsteps following them.

“Which one?” muttered Snape, and Ted laughed.

“Sirius and Remus know about Draco,” said Ted, before sighing heavily. “It’s only right you know.”

“How?” said Snape.

“I told Sirius some weeks ago,” said Andromeda, “and he blurted it out at lunch today.”

“He did what?” said Snape, holding back the immense desire to swear. He came to a halt, Andromeda stopping beside him. “I expected you to tell Ted but that was meant to remain a secret. Sirius can't be trusted, he'll tell the Order."

“When did you tell Nymphadora?” said Andromeda.

Snape swore. His fingers flexed around his wand despite knowing that to raise his wand would be catastrophic. He huffed and bit his tongue. Andromeda glanced at Ted who was waiting by the greenhouse doors. She pursed her lips and arched an eyebrow.

“She guessed,” said Snape. “It appears to be a family trait.”

Ted waved his wand across the door of the greenhouse and the door glowed for a moment before the light faded. Snape rubbed his forehead and glanced at Ted while trying to avoid looking at Andromeda.

“You could have denied it,” said Andromeda.

“The other greenhouses, too,” said Snape, turning back to Ted. Snape knew the freshest ingredients cultivated by some of the best hands would lessen Narcissa's suffering. Getting the ingredients from Ted's greenhouses was also one less way to be compromised.

The trio found themselves in silence as Snape wound through planters, tables, trays and beds. Andromeda stayed by the door of each greenhouse while Ted tended to plants. An uneasy peace was maintained until Ted let Snape into the third greenhouse.

Snape crouched down and cut the stems of another plant. When he rose, he found Andromeda watching him with a quiet anger rippling through her. Ted had his arms crossed and his concerned gaze went back and forth between Andromeda and Snape. Ted knew Snape wouldn’t raise his wand unless pushed, knew Andromeda would try not to dive into battle, but still they were sizing each other up, calculated glances trying to discern their hexes of choice.

“What,” said Andromeda, her voice forced into an unnatural steadiness, “are you intending to brew?”

“Something for an old friend,” said Snape, slipping some of the freshly cut stems into the bag. The glint in her eye. The simmering fury. She knew.

“I will accept Death Eaters being family,” she said, “but I will not accept all that they do.”

“That’s a low blow,” said Snape. “Even for you, Andromeda.”

How many hours had they managed? Just you and me, she had said. And it was. Just them. But even then he had known it wouldn't remain a secret. He knew there was little Tonks would keep hidden. Keep secret from the ones she trusted, the ones she - the ones she trusted. He had to keep a world hidden from her. No Vows and bonds with her but inescapable Vows and bonds everywhere else. And an ever increasing risk of getting compromised.

Ted watched the wands still not being raised while the tension between the two Slytherins risked combusting of its own accord if they weren’t careful. Ted had watched Snape gathering plants, by knife and by wand, and had a quiet hunch as to what he might be doing. By Andromeda’s reaction, Ted knew she had a far better idea. Even if she didn't recognise the precise potion, she would know which books to look in. Ted slipped his arms around Andromeda’s waist, though not before stroking her wand arm.

“It’s been an emotional day,” said Ted. “Lots of discussion about family.” Ted watched Snape stare at the ceiling and close his eyes before looking back at him and Andromeda. Snape’s short sharp laugh made Andromeda look away and Ted held her closer. “Discussion some of which was a joy to hear.” Andromeda huffed and Ted kissed her hair as she leant against him. He knew her wand was still ready to be pointed at Snape without hesitation. “Some of which was very difficult to hear.”

“Ted,” said Snape, stiffly.

“Dora was upset about Molly Weasley and Draco,” said Ted.

“Molly doesn’t like your family,” said Snape.

“No,” said Andromeda, her wand twitching, “she doesn’t like my family.”

“Our family,” said Ted, and he kissed her again. After all these years, Andromeda’s default was to carry the hatred towards their family herself. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, though her wand arm didn’t relax, her other hand found Ted’s, and she intertwined her fingers with his.

“Our family,” said Andromeda. “Which includes Draco, who Nymphadora admitted in front of us and Sirius and Remus that she has orders to kill.”

“I know what her orders are,” said Snape. “I’ve known since she was given them.”

“Then I think we’re all agreed that emotions have been running high knowing that Death Eaters in the family are are at risk of being killed,” said Ted.

“He is under orders to ignore all summons,” said Snape. “He is as safe as he can be at Hogwarts."

“The Dark Mark wasn't created with the intention of summons being ignored,” said Andromeda.

“No,” said Snape, simply.

“He’s a child,” said Andromeda, and her hand flew to her mouth. A child, and he burned. Ted murmured soft noises. Andromeda swallowed. Head held high, she raised her wand. “Who is that potion for?”

Snape stepped back and slumped against the greenhouse wall. Arms crossed, he stared at the floor. Andromeda was struck by how much younger he looked in that moment, not the fighter and spy who had been a Death Eater for half his life but a quiet flickering echo of the newly branded Death Eater trying to survive.

“Cissa,” said Snape, looking up, not bothering to raise his wand despite the one pointing at him.

Both Andromeda and Ted stiffened at hearing the nickname.

“At whose request?” said Andromeda.

“Hers,” said Snape.

"She can't understand how risky it is," said Andromeda. "She can't - "

"She is the one who has researched and planned," said Snape. "Merlin, you know her, Andromeda. She's meticulous."

Fleeting moments when their eyes met. Never a word exchanged. Never a pause in their gait. Even as whispers broke out around them. A Tonks and a Malfoy. Still the Black sisters. Heads held high, gazes they had once known so well sliding past the other to disappear into the crowds of Diagon Alley. It had been many long months since Andromeda had even been afforded that much of her sister.

"It's dangerous to brew," choked out Andromeda. "I don't want it near her."

"You think I would put her at risk like that?" said Snape.

Andromeda stepped from Ted's hold, her wand lowered, and Snape straightened up.

"We both know you will do what you have to do," said Andromeda. "If you're willing to brew this - "

"You think so little of me?" said Snape. He gave a bitter laugh. "I know what she wants, Andromeda, she's made herself clear and I'm doing what I can to reduce risks but your daughter's curiosity is almost Gryffindor."

Andromeda hissed. Ted rolled his eyes.

"Why did Narcissa ask?" said Andromeda. "You're not bound by this."

"Yet somehow I still don't feel like I have a choice," said Snape. "And don't talk to me of bonds."

"Severus," said Andromeda.

"The Dark Lord is taking wands and her magic is weak as it is," said Snape. "She can't use wandless charms."

"Lucius," said Ted, struck with a sudden queasy understanding. Snape nodded. Andromeda turned to look at Ted, her lips parted with words which wouldn't come.

"He does as he pleases," said Snape.

"Cissa," said Andromeda, stumbling back and being grabbed by Ted. "Cissa, no." Her eyes hardened and flashed to Snape. "Take what you need and go."

Snape picked up the last bundle of plants. Andromeda stood as if frozen in Ted's embrace. When Snape swept past, he heard the faintest sound from her and her hand grabbed his arm. He stopped and looked at her.

"Will she know you've been here?" said Andromeda. Snape shook his head. "Is Draco prepared to run?"

"No," said Snape.

"Do you think there's a chance?" asked Andromeda. It was the only way to get Narcissa out. "Call their bluff, Severus, they'll run if the other does."

"It's complicated," said Snape, glancing at Ted.

"There's someone else, isn’t there?" said Ted.

"A muggleborn," said Snape. "The only other person who has known is Tonks, and for the girl’s safety it must not go further.”

"A muggleborn?" said Ted. "Does she know - "

"She is smart," said Snape. "And he has thoughts of after the war."

"Even Death Eaters need someone to love and come home to," said Andromeda, her voice catching. Draco could have thoughts of after the war. Childish whims in the face of adult realities. How she wanted to believe the fairy tales of childhood, where everyone survived if only they believed hard enough that they would. "Who would have thought it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Snape.

"Don't, Severus," said Andromeda. "We know this is more - that Nymphadora - "

"Draco thinks protecting her means not letting her see his Dark Mark," said Snape. "Where as Tonks knows we would have to duel as enemies if the occasion ever arose."

"Nymphadora mentioned duelling practice," said Andromeda.

"I won't ask where she learned so much Dark Magic," said Snape. Both he and Ted looked at Andromeda who scrunched up her nose and shrugged.

"She had to be prepared," said Andromeda.

“It's served her well,” said Snape. “And you said it, I do what I have to. She's killed before. You never know when she might have to again.”

“Severus - ”

“What?”

The heaviness of the night pressed in on Andromeda. She knew he would do more having chosen Tonks than if he fell to his knees that moment and conceded to an Unbreakable Vow. Still she wanted to bind him and keep Tonks safe. But Tonks had wound her own magic around him. Around them both. Andromeda still struggled with it. Suspected Snape did, too.

“Tell me how Narcissa is afterwards,” she said. “Please?”

“I am but a servant,” said Snape. “I return to the Manor tomorrow night and I can come here when I am permitted to leave.”

“Severus - ”

“I have to go,” he said. “I have requests to fulfil for the Dark Lord as well as for Narcissa.”

“We know you're doing the best you can,” said Ted.

Andromeda ducked her head and looked away. Ted reached out and put his hand on Snape's shoulder.

“Go,” said Andromeda, in little more than a whisper.

When Tonks opened the door, the wards woke Snape. He eased up from where he had slumped on the sofa in his sleep. The potions book which had gone ignored on his lap fell to the floor.

"Hi," she said, softly, closing the door behind her as he picked up the book and rubbed his aching neck.

"Hello," he said, putting the book on the sofa.

He stood up and walked towards her, slowly backing her up against the wall. She made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan as his hands slipped beneath her cloak and robes. He kissed her neck and she focused on feeling for tremors in his touch. She was here, she was safe, she was -

He pulled away and stepped back, watching her curious expression as she straightened up. She closed the distance and started to undo the buttons on his shirt.

“I saw your parents last night,” he said, at last. Her eyes flashed to his.

“And?”

“Once your mother decided not to hex me - ”

“Why was she going to hex you?”

“Are you okay?” he said. “There was mention of Draco and Molly, among other things.”

Tonks took Snape’s hand and led him to the bedroom. She lit the lamps and put them out as quickly. The fire was enough. He kept his distance, arms crossed, watching her. She started to undress, avoiding his gaze, not because she feared Legilimency but because her guilt was written across her already. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and swore. She watched his reflection get closer to hers. His arms around her, he looked her reflection up and down, taking in the bruises blooming across her legs and her sore red skin.

“I fell,” she said. ”Trying to outrun the swans and Sirius.”

“Of course,” he said. “Tonks - ”

“Look, I’m being a good daughter, a good Auror, a good whatever it is everyone wants me to be,” she said, “can we just go to bed?”

He stroked her stomach and she wriggled out of his hold to climb into bed. He joined her a few minutes later.

This, she wanted this. Their bed -

His bed.

She stilled and he stroked her stomach.

“I have to keep you a secret,” she said, quietly, curling up. She propped herself up and couldn’t stop herself smiling at his low laugh as she settled again, her head on his arm as well as the pillow and hugging his other arm to her chest as he lay behind her and she sank back against him.

“You get used to living with secrets,” he said, his voice already heavy with sleep.

“I know.” She knew living with secrets was second nature for him. She knew a life of her family being fodder for the Daily Prophet. “Severus?”

“Mmn?” He sighed and traced patterns on her skin. She could feel how tired he was in the slow heaviness of his touch. He wanted her, she knew that, but a life together? It was his bed, not theirs. He was used to living with secrets. I'm yours, she had told him. And she realised she was. She was another secret.

His slowing breaths were warm against her neck and his arm was heavier on her waist. She traced the lines of his hand absentmindedly as she watched the fire.

“How many people have you slept with?” she said.

“Go to sleep,” he mumbled, pulling her closer, and kissing her shoulder. She wriggled around so she was facing him.

“Severus?” she said. He turned his face towards the pillow and groaned when she nudged his shoulder.

“It’s been a long night, Tonks,” he said, stroking her back. The firelight was enough to see by and she could see his eyes were closed.

“You know the rumours about me when I was a student?” she said. He sighed, and it was the confirmation she needed. He opened his eyes and looked at her. “You - you know they were rumours, right? That it really was only ever Charlie? That I’ve not been keeping secrets from you?” She stiffened when he rolled onto his back and rubbed his face.

“Do we have to talk about this now?” he said, glancing at her. She nodded and he groaned. “I don’t like thinking about when I was your teacher, and even less so while we’re in bed.” She edged away and sat up, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around her legs. He reached out and stroked her thigh.

By the end of her first week at Hogwarts, everyone knew Tonks was a metamorphmagus. It didn’t take much longer for people to try and pin things on her by claiming she had metamorphosed into them to do the things they were caught doing. As she got older, she was blamed for an ever wider range of things. Not least becoming the resident scapegoat whenever students got caught in compromising situations by teachers or jilted boyfriends and girlfriends. It didn’t matter when the accusations were proven false. The rumours persisted. The knowledge that she could persisted.

It was only when people realised she was dating Remus that the second glances at the Ministry eased, their preoccupation with the werewolf distracting them from the metamorphmagus. She never questioned why she was the first assigned out in the field and away from the Ministry.

Snape watched doubt and resignation sweep through Tonks. Or perhaps it had always been there. The fear rippling through her, that he thought her reputation for getting around was acquired honestly. She shivered, the blankets having fallen from her.

“All of us,” he said, rubbing his eyes, “the heads of houses, we didn’t believe the rumours.” He reached for her hand but she kept a hold of herself. “We knew about your panic attacks and how you retreated.” He sat up and moved closer, putting his arm around her. She leaned against him. “We knew you couldn’t metamorphose the way your peers thought you could.” She was breathing heavily and he heard the edges of upset creeping in. “Pomona was relentless about making sure any accusations were dealt with in a way which kept you safe.” Tonks pressed her head against his shoulder and he squeezed her arm. “Didn’t Andromeda and Ted tell you as much?”

“I didn’t tell them how bad things were,” she said, quietly. “Mum probably guessed some of it but I didn’t - I couldn’t - ”

“They knew about most of what we knew,” he said. “Pomona didn’t believe in keeping secrets and Andromeda wasn’t above owling me to find out whatever she suspected Pomona wasn’t telling her.”

“Oh,” she said, swallowing hard and sniffing.

“As it was, we knew most of your time was spent with Savage,” he said. “Merlin, the amount of time Pomona spent hauling them out of your common room for me.”

Tonks gave a small hiccoughing laugh.

“Why is this bothering you?” he said.

“Toujours Pur,” she whispered.

He groaned, lay back on the bed, and rubbed his eyes.

“Purebloods,” he muttered. “You’re a Tonks not a Black, and I can’t believe your parents taught you to adhere to the motto.”

“But you know that’s not what people think, and they managed to keep to the motto, even if they didn’t mean to.” She looked down at her hands, the blanket between her fingers, thumb tracing the hem. “There’s a difference between Charlie and the rest of the school.”

“Only if it bothers you, otherwise it's just a number,” he said. “Sleep, Tonks.”

“How many?”

“More than three.”

“I didn't want you thinking badly about me if the rumours were true,” she said. A shiver ran through her and when he pulled her closer she didn't resist.

“If you’re just talking about numbers, why would I think badly of you?” he said. “I’ll say nothing of the leeway Pomona’s protection of you in your early years here gave you when you did get a better control of your metamorphosing later on.”

“I still don’t know how you manage those robes.”

He laughed and pulled up the blankets

“I never did it as much as people thought. Full changes are - they're really tiring and uncomfortable, I'm not me - and it just proved people right.”

“Except for getting Savage out of detention.”

“I only did it a few times and just once as you.”

“Running around as the resident Death Eater could have got you killed,” he said. He swore, realising his mistake immediately. “I’m sorry.”

“Constant vigilance,” she said, quietly.

“I know.” He swept her hair back and she shot a glance at him.

“Different kind of change,” she mumbled, “I'm comfortable. I'm still me. Still there underneath.” She held his hand and screwed up her eyes. Even in the low light he could see change until she faltered.

Her uncle. No. He got killed. She could get killed. He wouldn’t want her to put herself at risk. No. He'd been spared seeing her get stuck. He was gone. No.

“Tonks?”

She shook her head and scrambled up as if fighting against something that had been pushing her down.

“Stuck,” she gasped.

Her breaths came in sharp intakes and her eyes were wide with panic. He moved swiftly and sat beside her, his arms around her. Her grip on his arms was ironclad. In the firelight, he could see the clash in her hair. She kept gasping in a desperate attempt to get more air in her lungs like she had just come up from underwater.

“How do you get through this?” he said. He knew there were different methods to bring a metamorphmagus back to themselves. He didn’t know what she had done for years. He didn’t know she still got stuck. “Is there a potion you know helps?” She shook her head frantically.

“Body,” she said, forcing the word out, and wondering if she might throw up. Tortured, killed, dead, gone. She wasn't meant to get stuck. Dreamless Sleep and the hope she would sleep off changes. Forcing her body to let go. She couldn't afford the time. Hated the feeling of her body being dredged by a potion. When she woke she would look like herself but didn't feel like herself for hours.

“Deep breaths, Tonks,” he said, his hand moving to her stomach. “In and out, that’s all you have to do.” He kept his hand on her, giving her small nudges as her shallow breaths did little to move his hand.

She was rigid. Her grasp on him so fragile it might shatter. She knew this wasn’t as bad as Hogsmeade. She wanted to scream that it could even happen at all in this sanctuary.

“What about your body?” he said.

“Feet,” she choked out.

“What about your feet?”

“Ankles.”

“What about your ankles?”

“Legs.”

With each word forced out as though it hurt her, he thought he could see where she was trying to go. He stroked her stomach and she talked her way through her body. Her voice shaking and her breaths still shallow enough to barely move his hand on her. She started to curl up where she sat when she had talked her way across her body.

“Tonks?”

She looked at him and he swept her clashing hair from her face and saw her mismatched eyes. When she saw his surprise, she ducked her head down, still flinching as tension flickered through her.

“Still stuck,” she croaked.

“You’re safe,” he murmured. “What do you need?”

“Relax,” she said, with a shakiness that might have been a laugh.

“Can you lie down?”

She nodded and he moved slowly, lying down and holding onto her as she lay back on the bed. He reached across the bed to grab his wand from the bedside table, then pulled pillows down to where they lay and pulled the blankets up. She curled up beside him and watched as he pointed his wand at the ceiling. She still shook, sometimes small flickers, at other times her whole body juddering. She heard his softly spoken incantations and despite the hour giving way to morning, the night’s sky appeared above them, like the Great Hall but just for them. Constellations swept across the ceiling. He put his wand back and turned back to her, his free hand back on her stomach.

“Name all the constellations you know,” he said.

“You know most of them,” she said, wriggling onto her back, her head on his arm. The quiet reverberations of her panic still moving through her body. She glanced at him before orienting herself beneath their small piece of the universe. “You - you know that’s Orion.”

“I failed astronomy.”

“No you didn’t,” she said, basking in his low laugh. She glanced at him and sighed. “Okay, those three.” She pointed above them, ostensibly holding his hand to show him where she was pointing but he slid his hand down to wrap around her wrist. “They’re Orion’s Belt, and they - they, well, they’re part of Orion.” She stumbled when she reached different members of her family as she led him across the sky. He glanced at the clock occasionally when her attention was focused on constellations. After half an hour she was midway through a constellation when she yawned.

“How are you feeling?” he said, stroking her stomach.

She looked at him and eyes of solid darkness met his. The darkness all hers. She pressed her hand against his body, and for once, she kept her eyes open. He watched her eyes change to a soft brown. A small frown creased her brow but she kept her gaze fixed on his. The darkness was gone but the warmth was still there. She huffed.

“Breathe,” he reminded her.

Her lips parted as she sought to take a deeper breath. Her hair flooded with the same softer tones. She licked and bit her lips as the pressure of her hand on him increased and she pressed herself against him, her body tensing. He traced patterns on her skin and she gave way to the darkness again. The darkness which was entirely her own. The warmth still hers.

“Just because you’re comfortable?” he said.

She stretched against him and relaxed into his hold.

“You feel like home,” she said. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud and she tensed again. He held her close before she could consider panicking, glad to feel her body move easily again with deeper breaths, to feel her relax against him.

“Does this mean I can go back to thinking of you as the Auror who has a bad habit of getting too close to a Death Eater?”

“Should I hex you?” she said, her hand on his face. “Threaten to take you into the Ministry?” He kissed her. “Do I need a name tag while we’re at it so you can remember me amongst everyone else you’ve bedded?”

“Stop,” he said, against her mouth. “You’re not a number to me.”

“Stop?” she protested.

“Merlin.”

“You really believe me?”

“Of course I do,” he said. He stroked her hip and slipped his hand between her legs. “But.” Her breath caught and she met his gaze as she grabbed his shoulders, her body running with tension. “Are you going to continue to worry about, as you said so delicately, how many people I've bedded?”

“No,” she conceded.

“I’m not interested in numbers,” he said. He kissed her neck and her moan slipped into a sharp exclamation. “I’m interested in one woman.”

“Who is she?” said Tonks, panting. Snape laughed easily and Tonks’s laughs came in between breaths.

“Bane of my sleep, right now.”

“Third time's a charm,” she murmured. She lay back and pulled him on top of her.

“What happened to sleep?”

“I sleep better after sex, and I need some decent sleep.”

“This is purely selfish then.”

“No, if I sleep better, you sleep better. Really I'm doing this for your sake.”

She had caught him off guard and at his surprise she laughed with abandon. Her joy spreading through her and shaking off the last lingering shadows of panic in her body as she wrapped her legs around him. Her laughter softened into a sweet sigh and she found him watching her.

Her tired eyes searched his and she brushed her thumb across his lips.

“I enjoy being the bane of your sleep,” she said, softly. "Thank you, Severus." She kissed him. "Thank you."

“Whatever for?”

“The stars,” she said, “they - I - for helping me get unstuck, helping me get back to myself.”

“It was an incantation,” he said. “You did the rest.”

She closed her eyes and turned her head towards the pillow but she was smiling. He kissed her neck and she sighed. The stars were still above them and when she opened her eyes, Tonks took a deep breath and let her gaze wander across the night’s sky before coming back to the dark eyes watching her. Her smile grew and she kissed him.


	35. Chapter 35

Eyes half open, Tonks propped herself up when she realised Snape wasn’t in bed. She glanced at the clock and saw she had only been asleep for a couple of hours. The bed was still warm as she swept her hands over the sheets where he should have lain. Tiredness overwhelmed her unease and she went back to sleep. When she woke a little while later, the sheets were cool and she was still alone. She groaned as she craned her neck to look at the clock and saw another hour had passed. Her head was pounding but she hauled herself from the bed, taking a blanket and pulling it around her like a cloak.

No matter how she held the blanket around herself, it dragged across the flagstones and floorboards of different rooms as she traipsed through his quarters. She found him in the lab tending to several cauldrons with steam curling above them. A riot of different colours filled the cauldrons and differing scents meandered around the room.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” said Snape, glancing up at Tonks from the ingredients he had been slicing. She was hesitating in the doorway and she looked more asleep than awake.

“I woke up twice and you weren’t there either time.” She pulled the blanket closer around herself. “Am I allowed to come in? I’m not technically naked.”

“Quite.” He frowned in amusement as he saw the way she had bundled the giant blanket around herself. “You may come in so long as you don’t come anywhere near the potions.”

“Would they do something terrifying like turn me into a Slytherin?” She waddled more than walked towards the bench which had the potions book laid open on it.

He laughed and when he glanced at her she was smiling. She turned her attention to the book, leaning heavily on the bench as she read. From time to time her hand would emerge from the blankets to turn a page or to flip one back before she burrowed back into the blanket. Her yawns interrupted the sounds of turning pages, bubbling cauldrons, and ingredients being prepared.

When he was done with the additions required of the potions, he cleared up and joined her at the bench. Safe, safe, safe. She was safe. And she hoped for things which meant more than simply an end to the war. Andromeda didn’t want her near the potion and neither did he. The risk that somehow even by proximity she would come to harm. Hurt her chances. Hurt -

No. He was doing what was sensible. Keeping her from volatile potions she had no business brewing. Keeping her from a potion which would unravel things about her family that had been secret so long as to feel like common knowledge.

“You’re making this on Voldemort’s orders?” she asked.

“No.”

“Then - ”

“It’s for a friend.”

Tonks straightened up and turned to lean against the bench. She found his hand and intertwined her fingers with his. She glanced back at the book before looking at him.

“It’s so drastic,” she said, looking at the book again, almost in disbelief.

“They have their reasons.”

“Some reasons,” she said, quietly. Frowning, she hesitated and took a deep breath, unable to shake the feeling that while Voldemort may not have requested it, there were plenty of people around him who could have. “No one’s making them take it?”

“I’m brewing it because a friend wants it for themselves, that’s all you need to know.” He stroked her arms and she leant against him, sighing heavily as he kissed her cheek. “Protect yourself,” he murmured. She was safe. She was well. She wasn’t at risk. For a few hours more, it would be true, then she would be gone again. And what of a few months time? “Protect yourself.” His hands found a way through the many bundled edges of the blanket to slip around her body.

“I’m okay,” she said, bemused. She kissed his jaw and rested her head on his shoulder. His hands were settled on the small of her back when a jolt ran through her. “Speaking of protection.” She felt him tense. “I didn’t do the charm earlier and unless I just didn’t notice you doing it because of how tired I was, we have an issue.”

He glanced at the clock which hung at the other end of the lab. “There’s still time.” A jagged unease slunk through him nonetheless.

“My wand is in the bedroom.” She guided one his hands around her body and down. “We’re not risking anything yet.”

“I dislike that we forgot.” He stroked her abdomen. “And anyway, you can do wandless magic.”

“I’ve always used a wand to do it.”

“Consider this a good opportunity to change that,” he said, “you have a curious affinity for old magic and you’ve demonstrated often enough the things you can do wandlessly.”

“Very different if they go wrong,” she said. “You either get it right or you don’t, I know that, but why are you pushing this?”

“Do you trust me to believe that it would put my mind at ease?” He couldn’t tell her why and already risked her knowing too much about why this bothered him, not least with the potions brewing only feet away.

“Severus?”

“You can use your wand as well, brew the potion if you want to,” he said, sharply, before sighing. “But at least try and do this wandlessly first.”

“Can’t imagine you’ve had the potion being brewed here too often.”

“Yesterday,” he said, and she looked at him in surprise. “Draco.”

“Is Hermione okay?”

“I wanted to know how the seventh years’ teaching held up,” he said, “and Draco, despite his sulking, did well.”

“But Hermione?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” he said. “Draco tells me that they’re careful.” Snape stroked Tonks’s stomach and brought her hand down to her abdomen. “And you are a powerful witch who can do wandless magic.” He kissed her neck. “Trust yourself.” His hand pressed hers against her abdomen. “You know what your intention is.”

Her tired groan was followed by a yawn and the blanket moved further from around her as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Tonks?"

"Just how many things come down to intention," she said, smiling sadly. "Do you think Draco understands what it truly means?" Did Draco know what it meant to use Unforgivable Curses? But she couldn't bring herself to ask. To wonder what he had been taught and who had taught him. "He's a child, Severus."

"I know," he said. He watched Tonks's gaze wander over to the cauldrons and he nudged her, pressing her hand into her abdomen with his fingers. "You can do this. Only one Death Eater to distract you."

"Sometimes one is quite enough," she said, smiling when he laughed. She bit her lip and searched his dark eyes. His hand on hers, magic stirred at her touch and the warm swell of the charm spread through her, lingering before most of it retreated to her hand. "Not quite like doing an Unforgivable Curse."

"Do you want your wand?"

"It felt the way it should," she said, trying to let herself relax at the familiar feeling of the charm, the touches of warmth which still lingered the way they were meant to. "I get scared I'll get it wrong because I'm so tied up in thinking about how to do it that I'll forget to think about whether or not it feels right."

"You've trusted me to do it to you."

She shrugged. "I trust you to sleep with why wouldn't I trust you to do the charm?"

"Death Eater," he said.

"Oh, stop it." But her breath caught and she looked away, pawing at her eyes. "You know there's no such thing as a pregnant Auror, they get pulled from duty immediately."

“There are other options.”

“I know,” she said. “Everyone does.” Her smile didn’t quite make it.

"Have you had to?" He looked at her curiously and stroked her abdomen.

"No." She tried to stifle a yawn. "Pulled together with the others to cover shifts so no one else found out, though."

"I wouldn’t expect you to do any differently."

“We all want to keep fighting,” she said quietly. "We're trained to use the full extent of our power with our wands, colleagues' wands, enemy wands. To just be as quick and as powerful as we can be. We don't do a lot of wandless magic because we're up against - "

"Worse things than snow storms."

"Would you want to fight without a wand?"

"No."

She pushed against him, though there was no effort in the action. Her eyes were heavy with the need for sleep and she frowned slightly. "You're better than me at wandless magic."

"Practice," he said.

"Everyone you've bedded, huh?"

His eyes narrowed and he tugged on her hips. She laughed and he kissed her neck.

"I have had to research and practice many different aspects of magic," he said.

"All entirely legal."

"Of course."

"How often have you used Unforgivable Curses?" she blurted out.

"They don’t lend themselves to being used wandlessly," he said, dismissively.

"Severus?" She swallowed and hesitated before briefly pressing her lips to his. He returned the kiss for only the briefest moment. She didn't look away from him.

"What would an answer achieve?" he said, relenting.

"You're not in Azkaban."

"No."

"Dumbledore vouched for you."

"Tonks." He knew then, though, that no warning would halt her curiosity for long.

"You must have done something big," she ventured. "He didn't vouch for any other Death Eaters."

"You're naked in a lab," he said, stepping away from her and going back to the cauldrons. "A blanket isn’t appropriate."

He didn’t look up as she left, closing the door behind her. She padded back to the bedroom but instead of getting into bed, she sat down on the flagstones in front of the fire. Arms wrapped around herself, she yawned and stared at the fireplace. Sparks floated in the air above the flames and the wood glowed as it cracked in the heat. This close to the fire, the flagstones were warm, and she felt herself become drowsier with the radiant heat.

“You’re just forgoing sleep altogether?” said Snape.

“I’m an adult,” said Tonks, “I can make stupid decisions if I want to.”

“Which is the stupid decision?” he said. “The sleep deprivation or sleeping with a Death Eater?”

“Merlin, are all Death Eaters this dramatic?” She tried to laugh but a yawn overwhelmed her.

There was silence but for the crackling fire. Sparks spat out of the fire and she swore. Licking her thumb, she rubbed at the small burnt spot on her leg before pushing the palm of her hand against her forehead.

He watched her sway, her hand smacking against the flagstones as she tried to stop herself falling. She was groaning quietly, still rubbing her head. He crouched down behind her and pushed the blanket from her. She turned to look at him, eyebrows raised and eyes barely open, and didn’t resist when he lifted her up and carried her to the bed. She tried to sit up but when he nudged her shoulder she lay down. He shook out the blanket and threw it back on the bed before undressing and getting into bed.

Tonks wriggled around until she was curled up beside Snape.

“You’re not a stupid decision,” she said, forcing her eyes open and looking at him. Her smile ached with tiredness.

He closed his eyes and started tracing patterns on her back.

“I know you want me to be safe,” she said.

“You’re an Auror with a vendetta against sleep,” he said, “I don't assume you know what being safe is.”

“Severus?”

“Truly, Tonks, sleep is not the enemy.”

“Neither are you.”

He stilled. The pattern on her back paused. He opened his eyes and found her watching him.

“You have no proof,” he said, quietly, moving to lie on his back.

She reached up to stroke his cheek. He turned his head to look at her. Leaning closer, her soft lips met his for a moment before she lay her head on his shoulder and slipped one of her legs between his. She intertwined her fingers with his and closed her eyes.

“Maybe - maybe one day,” she mumbled. The rest of her mumbled words may have been Unforgivable Curses for all that he could make out. They may as well have been Unforgivable Curses for the sense of unease which followed him into sleep. At most there were months before everything would change, before his Vows would have to be fulfilled and his bonds satisfied, and depending on how it happened, not only would he be the enemy but his actions would be sure to turn her against him. He traced patterns on her back and she sighed in her sleep, unaware of what one day might bring.


	36. Chapter 36

Tonks was still trying to wake up when Snape came back to the bedroom. She kept drifting off to sleep with uncomfortable ease moments after managing to open her eyes. She remembered being dragged from sleep by someone knocking on the door. Remembered him getting out of bed. Remembered him returning and telling her he would be back soon. She had vague notions of having watched him getting dressed before the heat of the fire was lulling her back to sleep. 

“Everything okay?” she said, her voice rough from sleep.

“Sixth years,” he said.

He took off his robes and put them over an armchair before crossing the room and crouching down beside the bed. She reached out, her body warm from being under blankets, and brushed her fingers across his mouth.

“Draco?” she said. Still blinking heavily, she failed to suppress a yawn and turned towards the pillow, groaning at the different aches making themselves apparent in her body. 

“Some of his friends.” He pushed her hair away from her face when she turned back to look at him.

One side of her mouth pulled up in a soft smile. “Slytherins getting caught?”

“When are you planning to leave for the Burrow?”

Tonks’s tired laugh was lost beneath the blankets she pulled over herself. Snape slipped his hand beneath the blankets and slowly trailed his fingers up her leg. She pulled the blankets down and though she tried to scowl at him, she was smiling. With soft groans, she propped herself up and the blankets fell further from her. His brow furrowed for a moment and he pushed the blankets back fully. 

With a light touch his hand traced up her leg avoiding the red patches and the bruising. “This can’t just be from falling over.” As he looked her up and down he saw the amusement gone from her expression.

She sat up and stared at her hands in her lap. 

“Mum and dad tell you what happened at lunch?” she asked, glancing at him.

“Just that Molly continues to dislike your family and you shared your orders with regard to Draco,” he said, quietly. 

Tonks gave a small laugh and rubbed her face. “I told Sirius about me and Charlie, which was great fun to talk about in front of everyone.” She pulled the blankets up around herself and crossed her arms. “Everyone else knew but - but - damn it.” She took a deep breath. “And then mum and Sirius were talking about Draco.” She glanced at him, then looked down at her arms and red marks left behind from how she had slept. “Mum covered for you and said she’d been the one who told me about Draco being Marked, and that’s when I told everyone my official orders are to kill Death Eaters if necessary.”

“They didn’t know?”

“Everyone’s heard the rumours,” she said. “But it’s a bit different confirming that your superiors have given commands for you to kill your own family if necessary.”

He reached out and she relaxed her hold on herself. Taking his hand in both of hers, she brushed her thumbs across his fingers.

“There are some things you just don’t - you can’t - ” She swallowed and met his gaze. “None of them are Aurors.”

He stood up, taking her with him, a yawn escaping her when he put his arms around her. She closed her eyes and leant heavily against him, the pull strong to go back to bed and let sleep take her. He kissed her hair and she sighed.

“I had to leave,” she said. “And - and I went for a swim.”

“A swim?” he said. “Somewhere warm and safe, I take it.”

“Somewhere else,” she admitted. Glancing up, she saw him watching the fire. "Severus?"

“Freezing water temperatures and an open space you barely know.” He knew she was well trained, competent, highly skilled. He knew how quick, brutal, and unforgiving the water could be. “That somewhere else?”

“I used wards and warming charms.” She nudged his leg with hers. “I wasn’t in the water long.”

He looked at her. “That’s not the point,” he murmured. “No one would have known you were there.”

“That was exactly the point, Severus.” 

“Tonks.”

She brushed past him and headed towards the door before stopping and rubbing her face. “I’m alive, I’m here, I’m safe.” She turned around. “I wanted to escape.”

"From?"

"My orders haven’t changed." She closed the distance. “But my family has." Her soft lips met his for a brief moment before she pulled away and searched his dark eyes. "I wanted to escape from that. Just for a few minutes."

“Yet you spend hours here,” he said, quietly. 

"With you." She leaned closer and his hands drifted to her waist. She met his gaze. "Happily with you." She pressed her lips to his jaw. "Joyfully with you." Her lips were on his neck. "Blissfully with you."

"Did you hit your head when you fell?"

She laughed against him before kissing his shoulder. He traced patterns on her back.

“Being with you is a different kind of escape,” she said, “and not something I want to escape from.”

“Indeed.”

“I don’t want to kill Draco,” she blurted out, caught between an urge to cry and vomit which had ambushed her. “He couldn’t fight Aurors.”

“He knows what your orders are.” Snape stroked Tonks’s back and she buried her face in his shoulder. "Tonks, he is under orders to ignore all summons while at school. That is the most I can tell you."

He nudged her chin until she was looking at him. He swept her hair from her face where strands had stuck to her damp cheeks. "You will not compromise yourself in a fight because you are unsure of who is beneath the mask." He stroked her cheek and she leaned to kiss his arm, the Dark Mark hidden under the white cotton shirt. "You wouldn't be able to find me immediately in a fight, let alone Draco, and you know this."

"You think I couldn't find you in a fight?"

"Not immediately," he said. "Your priority is being an Auror."

Hesitating, she closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. His grip on her tightened and she met his concerned gaze. "Don't compromise myself, I know."

“Come on,” he said, taking her hand and leading her out of the bedroom. 

Tonks sat on the edge of the bathtub, holding her hand beneath the running tap to enjoy the warmth. Snape was pouring potions into the bathtub and the different coloured liquids raced through the swirling water. When he had dealt with the empty vials he turned off the taps and held Tonks’s hand as she climbed in. She swore at the heat which surrounded her but nonetheless she lowered herself into the water, a deep moan of satisfaction leaving her lips when she put her head back against the curved stone. He kissed her on the forehead and she watched him leave.

She lay with her eyes closed and her body low enough in the water that the water would lap at her mouth from time to time. There had been no other sounds from the quarters and so she guessed Snape was still in the lab. When the water began to change to the wrong side of warm, she hauled herself out and dried off with a towel being careful of the parts of her which ached, which was most of her, even with the help the potions had given. 

Once she was dressed, she padded back to the lab and pushed the door open with caution. She was caught off guard by his severe expression. He leant against a bench, arms crossed, watching the cauldrons.

“Can I come in?” she asked, softly, and he glanced up at her before looking back at the cauldrons. He nodded and she all but ran across the lab. He put his arms around her, his embrace tight. She reached up to take his face in her hands. “Are you okay?”

“How was your bath?”

“Lovely, thank you,” she said, her fingertips making small strokes. “What’s wrong?

“Long night.” 

She leaned closer and pressed her lips to his. He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

"You shouldn't be here," he murmured. She stiffened and he groaned. "The lab, you shouldn't be in the lab."

"Oh," she breathed. "I'm not naked." She stepped back and held out her arms, doing a small twirl, when he caught her hand and pulled her close again. She searched his dark eyes. 

"No." He moved to kiss her neck. "No, you're not."

"I can change that," she said. His laughter was a better balm than the potions she had been soaking in. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"I did."

"And I don't believe you."

"How generous of you."

"Severus - "

"How about something to eat before you head off to the Burrow?"

"Sure," she relented. "I don't know how long my appetite is going to last." She stole a kiss and when he didn't protest she lingered, her lips brushing his. "Severus?"

He pulled away, and ignoring her frown, stroked her cheek before taking her hand. Glad to lead her from the lab. Away from pain and suffering which were yet to be bottled. He led her through to the living area but didn't sit down when she sunk on to one of the sofas and curled up. 

Snape summoned a house-elf and requested brunch while going back and forth between bookcases, sometimes pulling out a book without a second glance and at other times staring at a shelf for several minutes before taking out a book, only to put it back and take out another to add to the stack on the table.

There was a pop of a house-elf apparating and the elf put two trays on the table, disapparating with another pop after Snape and Tonks gave their thanks.

Tonks reached across from the sofa and took one of the books, smirking when Snape shot her a glance. He left the room and returned a couple of minutes later with another book. He sat down beside her and rubbed his face with his free hand while she moved and stretched her legs out across his lap. 

"Comfortable?" he said, leaning back and laying the book on top of her legs.

"Very," she said, despite the tome across her legs and the book she had picked up laid across her lap. He glanced at her, the hint of a smile on his lips before returning his attention to the book. 

Tonks stretched and picked up a bowl of porridge and a mug of coffee. She handed the mug to Snape before she sank back against the sofa, holding the bowl close, the heat radiating through her. He gave a murmured thanks.

“I meant it,” she said, quietly, when she had made her way through half the bowl. “You're not a stupid decision.”

“Indeed.” But the word was uttered with a sense of distraction as he flipped through more pages of the book, evidently looking for something and frustrated that he hadn’t been able to find it immediately. She nudged him with her leg and he looked at her. 

She was about to speak then looked away. She got up from the sofa, pulling her legs slowly from under the book giving him time to rescue his reading material. She picked up a mug of coffee for herself before wandering off to the bookcases, in theory to browse the titles.

He watched her trail her fingers across the spines of the books and knew she wasn't reading them. Each time her fingers tripped over worn bands or lingered on embossed letters she appeared almost to have been taken by surprise. She turned and leant against the bookcase and sipped her coffee.

“Molly is going to want to know about you,” she said.

“Does she know you're with someone?”

“Plenty of people know I'm seeing someone,” she said, hugging the hot mug close to her body. “I'm disappearing every weekend when I'm off duty and they all know it's for more than sleep.”

“What do people know?” He watched her stare at the coffee in her hands before closing her eyes and drinking more. When she opened her eyes, he was still watching her. “Tonks.”

“Sirius knows you're a half-blood and he thinks you're a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw.”

“And he reached that conclusion how?”

“He asked if I was keeping to Gryffindors, and when I said no - ”

“He couldn't imagine you being with a Slytherin.”

“And if I'd told him I was?”

“But you didn't.”

“He made an assumption which I didn't correct.” She put down her mug and walked over to him. He put his mug on the floor, took her hands in his, and leant back as she slowly straddled him. “We’re a secret.” She gave a hollow laugh. “Imagine being able to put a Fidelius on a relationship.”

His grip on her tightened reflexively. “Don't. They go wrong, they aren't foolproof, they fail.” Anger flashed in his eyes. “People misplace their trust. People die.”

“Severus?” She let his hands go and stroked his cheek but he flinched and looked away. “I'm sorry if I - I'm sorry.”

Eyes closed, he sunk back and rubbed his face. She started to move get off him and he opened his eyes, something darker lingering in his gaze.

“Don't you dare,” he said, though he didn't reach for her.

“You lost someone,” she said, settling herself on him again.

“A friend.” The words were almost lost to the crackling fire. Arms outstretched along the back of the sofa, he watched her. He couldn't bring himself to touch her. Everything she didn't know. Everything she hadn't been told. Secrets kept by enemies and allies. Common knowledge guarded by a shared brand. 

“It must have been bad.”

“For many people,” he said, eventually. How long until it all fell apart? And where would the wreckage fall? 

“Sirius was a Secret Keeper,” she said. She had pulled his shirt up and she was fiddling with a button, undoing it and doing it up, over and over. “I only found out the full story when he escaped from Azkaban.” Her body was brimming with emotion and she missed the tension tearing through him. “Twelve years. He made them switch. I'm sorry. You probably know the story by now, I mean, Peter Pettigrew is a Death Eater.”

He didn't trust himself to speak.

“You and Sirius hate each other.” She looked up from the buttons which she had started to absentmindedly undo.

“We do manage to be civil these days.”

“I've heard about some of your encounters at Grimmauld Place.”

“That's what passes for civil these days.” He shrugged. “It is an improvement.”

“Remus talks,” she said, both her hands coming up to push his shoulders and staying there. 

“He hasn't told Sirius about us,” he mused. He took a deep breath and reached out to her, his hands drifting easily to her waist.

“No.” She swore. “Oh Merlin, what do I say to Molly? Sirius feels easy right now. At least his sole aim isn’t to see me married and pregnant,” she said, in a rush. He arched a brow and she felt her cheeks burn. “You know what I mean.”

“I'm not sure I do.” The gentlest pull on her waist brought her closer with slow movements until his hands slipped from her body and he started to button up his shirt again.

“Sirius doesn’t think marriage and children are the be-all and end-all,” she looked at the buttons on his shirt and frowned, “it’s just that doesn’t stop him wanting to know who I'm seeing.”

“Because he would Avada them if he doesn’t approve.”

“Molly wants to see me settled down,” she said, ignoring the uncomfortable sense that his assessment of Sirius wasn’t far from the truth. Tonks shrugged. “I don't think she means badly, not really, but family means something different to her.”

“And to you - ”

“It means a lot of Slytherins.” Her head tilted and her mouth twisted as she searched his dark eyes. “The Sorting Hat consider putting you somewhere else?”

“No.” His mouth pulled up in a smile which sent sparks racing down her spine. “You?”

“No,” she admitted. “Severus - ”

“You can manage Molly's interrogation,” he said. “Just stick to the truth, even if it's highly edited.”

“Is that how you keep all your secrets?” she said, as if to herself. “From Voldemort? Death Eaters? Aurors? The Order?” The words were drawn from her lips as if she were reciting a lullaby. The strange lilt of the familiar sliding into a different space. His life was secrets. She closed what little distance there was.

He reached under her top, his fingers tracing patterns on her back while his other hand moved up her neck until his fingers were tangled in her still damp hair. She leaned closer needing no encouragement.

“It's not that simple,” he said. “It's years of - it's - ”

He undid the clasp on her bra in one easy movement.

Edited truths.

He kissed her.

Withstanding Crucios. 

She deepened the kiss. 

Casting Crucios. 

Fingers tracing the curves of her breasts.

Avada Kedavras.

She reached down and undid his belt.

Sleight of hand. 

“I don't have to leave yet,” she said.

Supplying potions.

“No,” he said. “No, you don't.”

Gaining trust.

She stole a kiss.

Maintaining cover.

She leaned back and pulled her top off, throwing it to the floor with her bra before closing the distance to kiss him. 

No matter the cost. 

He closed his eyes and she rested her forehead against his. His hands fell to rest on her thighs. The thick fabric beneath his touch which withstood what it could of cold and scrapes and running. And still she could feel the light touch of his fingertips tracing patterns.

She stood up and finished undressing before straddling him again. A shiver raced through her despite the roaring fire and he pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and slung it around her. She shot him a grateful smile. She moved her hips as her hands went to free him from his trousers. He sunk lower down and she needed no encouragement but waited for the nudge of his hands on her thighs before she moved close again.

“Tell me a truth,” she said. 

“I want you,” he murmured.

She nodded, a small smile dancing on her lips as her heart raced. Sparks pooled at the base of her spine as she lifted her hips and brought herself closer still. She hesitated for the briefest moment, aware of him waiting for her. 

“You're not the enemy,” she whispered, her lips brushing his.

She closed the distance and her whimper was lost to a kiss. The blanket fell to the floor and wasn’t missed as they lost themselves in a temporary freedom from keeping secrets. Truths in every touch. Honesty voiced with slow ease until it came with an urgent desire. 

He traced patterns on her back as she pressed her lips to his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. Her exhausted smile and tired eyes, the heat of her body beneath his hands, the reprieve was close to being over. Safe but never for more than a few hours. He pushed her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Her content sigh was softened further by her tiredness. The buttons of his shirt pressed against her and she fiddled with the collar.

“Tell me a truth,” she said.

“You need to leave,” he said.

She nodded and pressed her lips to his. He deepened the kiss and held her close. She tried to think of his touch, his body against hers, and not how long it would be until she was with him again.


	37. Chapter 37

Tonks was trying to eat a slice of toast while she pulled her trousers on, only to stumble and try to save the toast and herself at the same time. Snape had been watching the spectacle of the highly skilled Auror trying to get dressed and was quick to grab her when she threatened to meet the floor at speed. She stood up slowly, leaning into his grip, and smiling, shot him a glance.

“Thank you,” she said, taking another bite of toast before putting the rest on a plate. She did up her trousers then grabbed her mug of coffee, her free hand reaching to take his. 

"Do you think you can avoid life threatening injuries while I attend to the potions?" 

"So mean, and so soon after sex," she said, downing the last of her coffee and squeezing his hand.

He laughed, let her hand go, and walked away.

She watched the doorway even when she heard the door to the lab open and close. His fingers had been pressing into her hips only twenty minutes before. His lips had been on her neck as she held herself as close as she could to him. Her hands grasping his shoulders as if she could somehow keep him there. She wanted truths which promised returns. 

And she had to go to the Burrow. Where she wouldn't have answers for Molly. Answers for questions which Snape had postponed until a future which he scarcely believed in. 

Tonks looked up when Snape found her in the bedroom. She held out her hands and he pulled her up from the bed. Her cloak fluttered around her and her boots scuffed against the floor when she lost her balance. His arms around her, she buried her face in his robes.

"I would lead with my being a Death Eater," he said. He stroked her back when she gave a hiccoughing laugh.

"And when Molly asks about a quidditch team of children?"

"I meant it: keep to the truth as much as you can and there will be less chance of being caught out."

Tonks pulled away and wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her robes. She wondered again about his truth but instead she asked, "Seeing Voldemort tonight?"

He picked up his cloak from the back of the armchair. "And your parents." He slung his cloak on and shot her a glance as he did up the fixings. 

"What about your friend?" She straightened her cloak and pulled her hood up.

Eyes narrowed, he still put his arms around her when she closed the distance. "What about them?" 

Tonks kissed him on the cheek. "Does mum know what Narcissa's doing?" She met his gaze, feeling the tension in him that she knew few would recognise. 

He searched her eyes. She was going to leave the castle, walk away across the frozen ground, and within hours she would be preparing to spend the night ready to fight his associates. Yet down a hallway and through another door was a potion he didn't want her near. What had been a safe place was compromised. She wasn't truly safe anywhere and her curious mind drew her closer to trouble every day. There was only ever a temporary safety. He questioned again which of her decisions was the stupid one. 

"Severus?"

"You need to get to the Burrow."

She nodded and smiled sadly. She looked towards the fire and closed her eyes when he pressed his lips to her neck.

"Protect yourself," he murmured, as if imparting a secret.

"Come back," she said, without thinking.

The heaviness of promises which couldn't be made wrapped around them.

She led him through his quarters until they were standing at the door. His hand in hers, his body against hers, his lips on her neck. This was where she wanted to be.

"Fleur will be furious," said Tonks, with a content sigh. Snape’s hands had slipped further beneath her cloak and robes. The tug on her hips elicited a soft moan from her. "She isn't - Severus - keeping this from her isn't like avoiding Molly."

"Why haven't you told her already, then?"

"I've been avoiding her," said Tonks, laughing.

He gave a small laugh as he traced patterns on the small of her back.

"Would you still want to keep this a secret after the war?" she ventured.

The patterns stopped and his hands slid from around her as he straightened up with one last kiss on her neck.

"I would want you to be safe," he said, brushing her hair from her face. The Disillusionment Charm he cast swept around her and he looked away as he went to the door.

They walked in silence until they were out of the castle. He headed towards the greenhouses and heard her footsteps following him. 

"Severus - "

They both paused, though he didn’t do more than glance back, surveying the grounds for a brief moment.

"Tell Fleur what you wish to," he said. "I trust you." Then he walked away. Her footsteps didn't follow him.

Tonks apparated to the Burrow and crossed the wards only to walk into an argument. There was a flurry of swear words and laughter as Charlie jogged across the garden and swept Tonks up into a hug.

“You okay?” he murmured, still holding onto her when her grasp on him tightened. 

“Missed my favourite Gryffindor,” she said, letting go of Charlie as Fleur strode towards them.

“Tonks!” said Fleur, her accent twisting Tonks’s name so that Charlie had to suppress a laugh. “The boys are being dreadful with their brooms!” 

Tonks snorted and Charlie grinned.

Fleur looked back and forth between Tonks and Charlie. “Are you sure you will not marry Charlie?”

“I’ve missed you,” said Tonks, embracing Fleur and promptly being kissed on both cheeks. Twice. 

“Well?” said Fleur. “Who is this man you are taking to your bed?” She squinted and her mouth quirked as she stepped back and looked Tonks up and down. “You like this man very much, I think.” She crossed her arms and Tonks could see her trying to figure out the puzzle she had been presented with.

“What are you on about?” said George, walking over with Fred and Bill. “Hey Tonks.”

“Hello,” said Tonks. “Fleur is imagining things.” Fleur huffed.

“You are sporting a delightful resemblance to Bellatrix today,” said Fred, with a mischievous smile. Bill smacked him on the shoulder and there was a ripple of laughter.

Tonks didn’t mind the joke, knowing it didn’t come from a place where the implication was that she was like her family in behaviour and belief. 

“Non,” said Fleur, waving her hand towards Tonks. “Wrong family.”

“What other family does she have?” said George.

“Who’s winning at quidditch?” said Tonks.

“Smooth,” said Charlie. “And we were about to toss a Sickle for the next match because apparently my prowess on the pitch counts for nothing when I’m at home.”

“You may have been quidditch captain,” said Bill, “but I was head boy, so I’m pulling rank.”

“Charlie could’ve been head boy if he hadn’t spent so much time with a certain badger,” said Fred. This time when Bill smacked him, Fred swore at his brother and shirked away.

Fred and George exchanged a glance as the mood changed around them. Charlie stepped behind Tonks and put his arms around her while Fleur and Bill looked at them with troubled expressions.

“That’s exactly why your mum thinks Charlie didn’t get made head boy,” said Tonks. 

Fred swore again. “I’m sorry, I - ”

“It’s fine,” said Tonks, with a tight smile. “It’s been years.”

“Still my favourite Hufflepuff,” said Charlie, tightening his hold on her. She ducked her head towards him and he kissed her cheek.

“Why aren’t you two together?” said George, caught between amusement and confusion. He knew Tonks and Charlie had a past, knew they were still friends, and had no idea why they hadn’t stayed together when they were standing in front of him like they had been together for years.

“Don’t,” said Bill.

“You want to come for a ride on my broom?” said Charlie, kissing Tonks’s cheek again. She nodded, aware that the preemptive burn of tears was barely being kept at bay even as she laughed with the others.

“You just - you just asked her if she wanted to ride your broom,” said George, in disbelief.

Charlie was leading Tonks towards the pile of abandoned brooms when she called back, “It’s all about flying technique.”

Fleur’s laughter distracted Fred and George while Charlie and Tonks got on his broom, Tonks climbing on behind Charlie and putting her arms around his waist.

“Aren’t you with other people?” said Fred.

“They wouldn’t be scared,” said Charlie. “Bill?” He nodded towards his brother. “Just - I can’t.”

“Go take her for a ride, I’ll deal with these two,” said Bill, and over the twins’ protests, Charlie kicked off hard from the ground.

Tonks tightened her hold on Charlie and rested her chin on his shoulder. They flew at a lazy pace though Charlie still pulled off small tricks and sharp flying the likes of which Tonks couldn’t conceive of pulling off without a trip to a healer. They circled back over the river beyond the orchard and came to a halt above the water where they could see the sun getting lower in the sky. Charlie reached back and put his hands on Tonks’s thighs. 

“Good weekend?” he asked, 

“Got stuck this morning,” she said, quietly. “First time he’s seen it, I mean, since we’ve been - ”

“I get it,” he said. “How come you’re conscious?”

It had been years and still she could remember waking up in the darkened hospital wing. Pushing herself up against the weight of the potions wanting to drag her back to sleep. Her elbow bashed Savage in the ribs though they stayed asleep beside her. Charlie was sound asleep, too, slumped in a chair, feet up on the bed, still in his muddy quidditch kit. And at the end of the bed, their heads of house and Poppy, all of whom looked up as she moved. Tonks had fallen back against the bed and feigned sleep when Sprout called her name, managing only to be grateful that McGonagall and Snape had been content to let Charlie and Savage stay with her. When the professors left, Poppy walked around the bed and adjusted the blankets. Tonks murmured her thanks and Poppy told her to rest. Tonks gave her thanks again and Poppy brushed her hair from her face. They were all too used to the routine.

“He helped me come back to myself,” she said. “Helped me relax.”

“Relax?” asked Charlie, his shoulders shaking gently with laughter.

He stroked her thigh and she swore at him before laughing. He looked out across the river, still able to remember the weight of her in his arms when he had carried her to the hospital wing. When he hadn’t been able to help her come back to herself. He stroked her thigh again and she kissed his shoulder. Their worlds had changed so much since Hogwarts and still they could find themselves on a broom together watching the daylight fade.

“How’s Savage?” asked Tonks.

“Probably wide awake despite all promises they’d go back to sleep after I left.”

"They're worried about you."

"How’s Snape managing your family?”

“Which part of my family?” Tonks’s laugh fell apart into a heavy sigh. “Mum and dad, or Narcissa and Lucius? How about Bellatrix and Rodolphus?” She pressed her forehead against his shoulder. “Or of course, there’s Sirius who still doesn’t know about him and likes him about as much as Bellatrix does.” She took a deep breath, then said, “Can’t forget Draco, either.”

“Oh, Merlin,” said Charlie, softly. “He must really like you.” 

“And he’s the one who keeps telling me to protect myself.”

"I'm with him on that one," said Charlie. “Dating Aurors is stressful.”

“I thought you weren’t dating,” said George, pulling up and flying alongside Charlie and Tonks, with Fred a few feet behind. Charlie swore and George coughed. “Bill told us about,” he gestured at Charlie and Tonks, “you know.”

“We’re sorry,” offered Fred.

“Thanks,” said Charlie.

“Flying technique, then?” said George, grinning at Tonks.

Tonk hugged Charlie and he turned his head to look at her. She grinned then looked at the twins. “His is excellent,” she purred.

Tonks thought Fred might fall off his broom given how hard he was laughing. 

Charlie laughed, then said, “Now leave us alone, Tonks is quick on the draw, you don’t want to be on the wrong end of her wand, do you?”

George waggled his eyebrows only for his jaw to drop when Tonks drew her wand and he found himself cross-eyed as the wand tip hovered inches from his face.

“Do you really want to provoke an Auror?” said Charlie. 

Fred yanked on George’s broom and they flew back towards the Burrow with awestruck hushed whispers between them. 

Tonks slipped her wand away and put her arm back around Charlie. They watched Bill and Fleur fly towards them, following the path of the river. Fleur on Bill’s broom, like Tonks was on Charlie’s.

“What did you do to them?” said Bill, pulling his broom up beside Charlie’s.

“They provoked an Auror,” said Charlie, who was staring at the river. “Thanks, by the way. You tell Fleur?”

“Tonks told me many months ago that Molly did not approve,” said Fleur, nodding. “When the twins came to apologise, Bill told me the finer points he had not told them.”

“Finer points?” said Tonks. 

“Firewhisky,” said Fleur, nodding.

“Oh,” said Charlie, with an empty laugh, “there was a lot of Firewhisky.” 

“Well,” said Fleur, nudging Tonks’s shoulder. “Who is the man?”

“I told them about Savage,” said Charlie, nudging Tonks’s thigh.

Tonks rested her head on Charlie’s broad shoulders “You can’t tell anyone else.” She glanced back and forth between Bill and Fleur. “Too many people know.”

“He is dangerous?” said Fleur. She tilted her head and shrugged. “That is your type, Tonks.”

“We won’t tell anyone,” said Bill. “I’d say you don’t have to tell us at all but - ”

“She will tell me,” said Fleur.

“Get it over with,” said Charlie.

Tonks loosened her hold on Charlie, rolled her shoulders, then held herself close to him again. She took a deep breath. “Severus.”

“Severus?” said Fleur, frowning.

“Snape?” said Bill. “You’re seeing Professor Snape?”

“He hasn’t been our professor for years,” said Tonks.

“He is in the Order, yes?” said Fleur. She considered Tonks then gestured towards her. “He has the dark hair and dark eyes?” Tonks nodded and felt her cheeks burn. Fleur nodded confidently. “I know him.”

“Snape?” repeated Bill, with disbelief. 

“The Death Eater and spy,” said Charlie. “Yes, that Snape.”

“He will keep Tonks on her toes.” Fleur shrugged then fixed Tonks with a piercing stare. “And he is already making her very happy, I think.”

Tonks’s mouth pulled up in a small smile and she glanced at the river.

“Tonks?” said Bill. “Tonks, do you love him?”

“Charlie’s still my favourite Gryffindor,” said Tonks.

“And Snape’s a Slytherin,” said Bill. “What’s going on, Tonks?”

"Savage is my favourite Slytherin," said Tonks, so quietly that her words were all but lost on the breeze.

Fleur nudged Bill and he brought his broom closer still to Charlie and Tonks. Fleur took Tonks's hand from Charlie and held it in hers.

"It is the war," said Fleur. "You think he will die?"

It was only by virtue of Charlie and Bill's excellent flying technique that Tonks and Fleur were able to embrace. Fleur kissed Tonks's cheek then murmured, "You still may love him now."

Charlie and Bill exchanged a glance and at Bill's curious expression, Charlie nodded.

"And how is your special someone?" said Molly. 

"He's well, thank you," said Tonks.

"Charlie said you've sworn him to secrecy," teased Molly.

"It's only fair, dear," said Arthur. "I suspect Tonks isn't going to tell us who Charlie is seeing."

"Yes," said Molly, frowning. "Charlie has only told us he's seeing an Auror." She looked at Charlie who nodded and passed a dish of roast vegetables to George. Molly sighed and looked at Tonks. "What does your boyfriend do for work?"

Charlie tried to stifle a laugh and Tonks kicked him under the table but caught Bill who raised his eyebrows.

"Your boyfriend?" said Bill, looking at Tonks.

"He's not really the boyfriend type," said Charlie. This time Tonks did manage to kick him and he grinned unrepentantly, then his smile softened. 

Tonks felt her cheeks warm up and she bit her lip. A highly edited truth? How could she edit his Dark Mark or his mask and robes? His position as potions master? As a professor? "He's an academic sort, always researching." Her mind drifted to the stacks of books, to rolled up sleeves, and the burning brand. "He can't talk about it much."

"A quiet life?" said Molly. With a wave of her wand, the jug of water was replenished and the basket of rolls refilled. "You'll be able to settle down before you know it." Her face crinkled as she smiled. "Does he want children?"

Charlie nudged Tonks's foot with his and both Fleur and Bill looked on in interest while Fred and George tried to be politely disinterested and failed.

"Molly dear," said Arthur, "I'm sure Tonks and her boyfriend will have all those discussions in due course."

Molly huffed. "You may think that, Arthur, but I am sure Tonks already knows, isn't that right, dear?" She smiled in a way that Tonks knew was kindness as she best meant it. "It isn't as if you come from a family which doesn't know what it wants."

"Mum - " said Charlie. 

Tonks blinked and forced herself to keep smiling. "I couldn't imagine having children while there's a war going on," she said, carefully. "Pregnant Aurors are pulled from duty immediately."

"Well of course you'd have to give up work," said Molly. "I told Charlie just the same about his someone special and," she held up her fork as she made her point, "they might be an Auror, but someone would need to be at home and that work is so dangerous."

"Because dragons aren't dangerous," said George. 

"They're not Death Eaters," said Molly.

"Then the reason is even bigger that we have Tonks do her work," said Fleur. "She knows what she is doing with Death Eaters."

"We’re well trained on how to deal with them," said Tonks.

Bill choked on his water and Charlie thumped him on the back. Bill wiped his mouth with the back of his hand while Fleur dabbed at him with a napkin and chided him in murmured French which required George to shove Fred's head to get his attention back.

"Sorry," said Bill, catching his breath, then grinning. "So you know your way around Death Eaters?"

"Bill," said Molly, sharply. "Don't talk like that."

"Have you heard about Ginny's latest boyfriend?" said George. 

Tonks and Charlie stood near the edge of the wards, their arms around each other, Tonks's head on his shoulder. Lunch had finished an hour earlier and Molly had only stopped pressing George for details about Ginny's latest boyfriend when he admitted he had been going on dates with another shop owner from Diagon Alley from time to time

“Fred has confessed to seeing Angelina,” said Arthur, as he walked up the garden path, hands held behind his back. “He and George must have put quite the foot wrong at some point to be taking such a fall for you.”

“Dad - ” said Charlie, as he and Tonks pulled away awkwardly from each other, though they still held hands.

“Not to worry,” said Arthur, smiling. “Everything will come to light in good time, I’m sure.” He smiled at Tonks. “It’s been lovely to see you.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” said Tonks.

Arthur smiled kindly. “Molly had a bee in her bonnet,” he said. “I hope she hasn’t put you off Weasley lunches for good.”

“Too fond of this one to stay away for long,” she said, looking at Charlie who smiled in apology. 

“Yes,” said Arthur. “Good to have him back, isn’t it?”

“Definitely.” Tonks squeezed Charlie’s hand.

“Dad, I’m seeing Savage.”

“Oh,” said Arthur, brightly. “They’re Tonks’s partner, aren’t they?” Tonks nodded, then Arthur’s smile was marred by a frown. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “They’re a Slytherin. That’s why you haven’t told us, isn’t it?”

Charlie looked at the darkening sky before turning to his father. “Don’t tell mum?” Tonks squeezed Charlie’s hand again and he sighed, giving the slightest shake of his head. 

“Charlie?” said Arthur, putting his hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “You’ll have to tell your mother eventually.”

“Just - just not tonight?”

Arthur crossed his arms. "There are some secrets I'm willing to keep." He glanced at Tonks. "Even ones that involve breaking laws. Merlin, you were doing the best you could to do the right thing, but you shouldn't be keeping other secrets, not big ones like this." Before Charlie could speak, Arthur added, “At least, not for long.”

Tonks looked away, theoretically to watch a murmuration but as she glanced at the sky she blinked back tears. When she sniffed, Charlie pulled her closer and she buried her face in his shoulder.

“I'll let you finish your goodbyes,” said Arthur. “I just wanted to check on you both.” He patted Tonks on the shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” mumbled Tonks. “I should - “

“Let Charlie make the most of his brothers taking the fall for him,” said Arthur, gently. “Secrets are hard work, they're bound to take a toll from time to time.”

Tonks walked through Hogsmeade in the last of the gloaming. Soon there would be only torchlight keeping the village lit. She saw Dawlish and Proudfoot at the other end of the highstreet and waved to them before going into the Hog’s Head Inn. 

Savage sat up when Tonks walked in, a bottle of Butterbeer almost slipping from their hand. Tonks sat down beside them on the wooden bench and put her feet up on a nearby chair. 

“You look like you’re asleep,” said Tonks.

“Tonks,” said Savage, the warning clear.

“He told Arthur, who was delighted,” said Tonks, putting her arm around Savage, “and he still hasn’t told Molly.”

Savage leaned into Tonks and pressed their face into Tonks’s chest when Tonks kissed their head. “Well done for braving Molly.”

“She was eager to hear about my someone special," admitted Tonks. "She called him my boyfriend."

Savage snorted with laughter though Tonks could hear the whisper of anxiety beneath. Tonks kissed Savage's hair and stroked their back as she watched the fire. She wondered if Snape had left for the Manor or if he was still at the castle. Sparks tumbled through the smoke from the fire and she let her gaze wander across the hearth. The fireplace in his bedroom was the perfect distance from her side of the bed. Her nose scrunched up and she swallowed. Her side. When had it become her side? She took a deep breath and tried not to think of how long it would be before she could sleep by his side again.


	38. Chapter 38

Snape left Voldemort deep in discussions with Dolohov and Yaxley about the Ministry. He was crossing the hallway towards the staircase when Bellatrix and Lucius came walking towards him, the screams which followed them cut off when a door slammed shut.

“Back so soon?” asked Lucius.

Snape came to a halt. “With such good company in attendance, how could I stay away for long?” 

“Apparently my wife has need of you.” 

“I’m surprised you remember her.”

“Tell me,” said Lucius, as he looked Snape up and down. “Of what concern are her needs to you?”

Snape gave an empty laugh. Bellatrix frowned, her lips pursed, and she glanced back and forth between Snape and Lucius before her gaze darted towards the staircase, though Lucius didn’t see on account of a young woman being walked through the Manor by Mulciber. Bellatrix had been the one to bind Snape and Narcissa, and there was always the uncomfortable notion that Narcissa had therefore bound Snape and Bellatrix with secrets, if not with magic.

“Narcissa’s always had troubles,” said Bellatrix, at last, crossing her arms. “Witches troubles.” 

Lucius tore his attention from the brunette distraction and made a face. “Do what you must, then.” He looked around the hallway, his wand hand empty but twitching. “Just ensure she isn’t shirking her duties longer than necessary, she’s already proving to be an embarrassment.” He walked away and Snape grabbed Bellatrix’s arm before letting go as if he had been shocked. Lucius slipped into the room where Mulciber had taken the young woman.

“She doesn’t want him dead,” said Snape, not raising his wand despite Bellatrix’s seething expression. He flexed his fingers.

“More’s the pity,” said Bellatrix. She started to walk away, her boots clicking against the marble floor, then glanced back. “Do not kill her.”

As she lay in bed, Narcissa watched Snape placing stronger wards on the room than he had before. He took off his cloak and robes which he slung over the back of the armchair, then he put a vial on the bedside table. He sat down, legs crossed, and watched as she pushed herself up then leant back against a bank of pillows.

“You still want to do this?” he asked.

She looked at the vial then at him. “Hoping I drop it?”

“I brought extra.” Absentmindedly, he scratched his left forearm, fingers running over the stiff cotton of his shirt sleeve.

“You don’t have to stay.”

He picked up a book from the bedside table and started to flip through it. “Yes, I do.” He turned the book to check the title, then sighed, and went back to reading. “I’ll be here for an hour or so.”

“I didn’t realise my company was so appealing.”

“It might look bad for me if you die,” he said, “so forgive me for trying to cover my back.” He looked again at the spine of the book, wondering when Narcissa had descended to reading such drivel. “There’s also the small matter of whether or not you throw everything up.”

She broke the seal of the vial and he looked up in time to see her down the potion with the vigour usually reserved for Firewhisky. Her nose scrunched up in displeasure and she shot a glance at Snape.

“If I hear one word about how that potion tastes I will not be amused,” he said. 

She put the stopper back in the vial and returned it to the table where he immediately picked it up and put it in his bag.

“The trials of being head of house,” she said, trying to laugh through the grimace which had taken hold of her.

“You’ve no idea,” he said. “Narcissa—”

“I’m fine,” she said. “It’s no worse than Antonin’s taste in wine.”

“I have other potions with me which could ease—”

“No,” she said, sharply, pulling her knees up. “I won’t compromise this. Oh, Merlin.” She held out her hand. “Give me that book and find your own.”

He handed over the book and looked through the stack on the bedside table before settling on one. She paled as she read, never looking from the pages as she tried to swallow winces. When he lit more of the lamps by the bed she murmured strained thanks. He endured the joint performance of reading until she leant back against the pillows, eyes closed, her knuckles white as she grasped the sheets around her. 

“Severus.”

“I’m enjoying this book.”

“Then be honourable and hand it over, this one is worse than I recalled.”

He stood up and gave her the book before strolling over to the shelves which covered the wall on the other side of the room. He took out a potions journal he recognised and flipped through it for a few minutes, knowing he could waste a good amount of time simply by browsing. 

"There’s one you might enjoy on the next shelf up," said Narcissa. "Near the middle." She swore and he turned in surprise to look at her as she rubbed her forehead. "Moste Potente Potions, 8th edition.”

He turned back to the bookcase and saw the title still holding onto the remnants of gilt lettering. Despite everything, he couldn't stop himself laughing. The edition which had been thought destroyed. The entire publishing run lost to a fire which erupted when, according to the printer's story, an Erumpent horn tucked away in one of the offices exploded

"Of course you have this." He took the book from the shelf and turned it in his hands before opening it.

"Being a Malfoy has its advantages." 

He glanced at her then went back to the armchair.

“I’m sorry,” she said, with a short, sharp sigh.

“Is this really the moment in your life you want to start apologising?” 

Narcissa watched Snape as he read. Each page was turned with care and she was certain he was in fact reading the text and not pretending for her sake. With another wave of pain, her fingers tightened their grip on the book in her lap. Then her grasp slipped and the book slid down and fell against her abdomen. She tried to stifle the cry of pain which spilled from her lips, but the sudden thud seemed to reverberate through her body sending new shock waves of pain following the old as quickly as they faded. Snape’s head shot up. He put Moste Potente Potions down and came to stand beside the bed. She was trying to pick up the book but her fingers kept fumbling as she gasped and tried to keep a hand against her abdomen at the same time. He lifted the book from her lap.

“It’s so silly,” she said, gasping. “It was a little knock which caught me off guard, that’s all.”

“You did pick quite the potion,” he said, looking troubled.

“Yes. Yes, I did.” She held out her hand and he held out the book. Despite the pain, a smile played on her lips.

His own lips were graced with a grim acknowledgement of the dance between them as she fought to regain her composure.

“Severus.”

“Budge up,” he relented, though she already sat in the middle of a bed which could accommodate a Hippogriff and still have space to spare.

Her hand fell to her lap as he got onto the bed beside her, albeit on top of the blankets. Reaching to pick up one of the pillows, she winced. He took the pillow from her and put it on his lap. Her smile softened in a way he realised he hadn’t seen in too long, and she sunk down beside him until her head was on the pillow. One of his hands on her shoulder, his other was beside her head, his thumb brushing slowly back and forth over her hair. Her body moved with breaths which took too much effort and they sat in silence but for the roaring of the fire.

“This really isn’t my speciality,” he said.

“Oh, hush,” she chided. 

She reached up until her fingers brushed his hand on her shoulder, her touch faltering until he took her hand in his. He leant back against the carved headboard and stared at the intricate cornicing of the room, trying each time her grasp on him tightened to find something different to look at. The tiles around the fireplace, the brocade wallpaper, the heavy velvet drapes. Different parts of the room bringing different memories to mind, which for brief moments he was content to remember, before her harsh gasps brought him back to her bed. Sweat beaded on her forehead and caught on his fingertips.

“Cissa—”

“No,” she said, her voice threatening to break. “I will not risk compromising this.”

“There is always compromise,” he murmured.

She managed to find the strength to jab her elbow against him and they shared muted laughter only for her to curl up on herself a fraction more. He summoned a cloth which still sat alongside a bowl by the fire, and with a careful Aguamenti was able to dampen the cloth before bringing it to her face and neck. She rolled with rigid care onto her back, her head still on the pillow on his lap. He swept strands of hair from her face and she stared at the ceiling, glancing at him for a brief moment before returning her attention to the hazy curve of firelight as it struggled to reach across the room. He put the cloth on the blankets beside him and returned to stroking her hair, his other arm stretching out across the pillows as he leant back again.

“Do you think it was always meant to be this way?” she said. “Potions so I could have a child, and a potion so I never will again?”

“You haven’t given yourself over to Divination, have you?” he said. “You used to be so intelligent.”

She snorted and their gazes returned to each other. When she reached for his hand, he let her take his and bring them to rest on her stomach.

Narcissa had been able to corner Snape when she planned a chance meeting. His presence was already a frequent occurrence at the Manor, and her endurance of Lucius well practiced. Her request came with the aid of her wand at his throat. Only for her wand to lower when he blurted out she was using glamours. He was the first to notice, and all because he could spot the tell-tale signs of the charm, the use of which was still to be refined. The traces of magic were too familiar a sight from his childhood to ignore. As they came to realise the other was simply trying to survive, their alliance found a place from which it could grow. With the ease of people who others didn’t think would dare hide things from them, he was able to provide the potions she needed to overcome what Lucius declared her weakness. Among her many duties was that of giving him an heir, and Lucius considered any assistance to be a betrayal. 

“I had Draco in this room,” she said, quietly. “Lucius only visited long enough to find out whether I’d given him a son.”

Lucius was celebrating elsewhere in the Manor when Snape was summoned to meet the Malfoy heir. An old Black family house-elf was the only other presence in the room while Narcissa cradled Draco, the newborn wrapped in the finest lace shawl and sound asleep. Even then, standing at her bedside, it was easy to see Lucius in Draco’s features. Snape saw Narcissa’s adoration of the baby in her arms, and he wondered who the boy would take after. He could only hope it was her. Then she made one more demand disguised as a choice.

“All these years I’ve feared he would be like his father,” she whispered, “and now—”

“Aside from his capacity to sulk,” said Snape, “Draco is his mother’s son.”

“Is he doing what teenagers do?”

“I’ve no idea what you mean.”

“You horror,” she said. “You’re a head of house, you know precisely what teenagers get up to.”

“You’ve no idea,” he said, with an empty laugh.

She closed her eyes and turned her head towards him. The frown lines deep across her face as she tried to breathe through another wave of pain. Her chignon was coming loose and he tucked her hair behind her ear as she gripped his hand more tightly.

“How are his potions skills?”

“Like his mother’s.” 

“Is that meant to comfort me?”

“Don’t look for compliments,” he said, “it isn’t you.” 

She opened her eyes and let her gaze drift to meet his. “You really won’t tell me who is keeping my son company?” she asked, with the slightest hint of mischief hiding behind the pain and suggestion of a pout.

“Godfather’s honour.”

Intricate rituals and grand shows were all acceptable parts of godparents being chosen and their acceptance or declining of the honour. The truth of the magic involved was nothing more than a request and an answer. The choice of who would be godparent to her child was one of the few gifts Narcissa had been afforded upon marrying Lucius. And she was able to dismiss what suspicions there were over her decision, with the reminder she chose a Death Eater. As soon as he accepted, the bond was created. And as the years passed, Narcissa and Snape couldn’t escape their alliance turning into a friendship.

“Who is keeping you company?” she asked

“No.”

“I know her!” she crooned, before laughing with tired delight.

“Must you do that?” 

“Is she good for you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, as he watched the pain dance across her face.

She squeezed his hand. “Your hour was up some time ago, Severus. You shouldn’t have stayed so long.”

“I’m sorry I can’t stay longer.”

“No you’re not.” 

His mouth pulled up in an apologetic smile.

With slow careful movements, Snape eased himself from the bed and helped Narcissa into a comfortable position. She pulled more pillows close to her while he sorted her blankets.

“Did Draco really earn only an Acceptable on his last DADA essay?”

Snape nodded sadly. “He has been preoccupied.”

“And is she good for him?”

“I believe so.” His robes on, he sorted out his cloak and glanced around the room to check if there was anything he risked leaving behind. He knew there was no point leaving other potions. She wouldn’t take them, and she was past the most dangerous hour.

“You’ll keep him safe.”

A question or a statement, he wasn’t sure. Only that for the first time that night he saw desperation in her eyes. “Have I not done so these past 16 years?”

She whimpered and her gaze shot to his left forearm before she screwed up her eyes.

“You know I will do all I can,” he said. “I would have done so without that wretched Vow, too.” He gave a frustrated sigh and crossed the room to the bed. Leaning close, he swept her hair from her face, and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Draco has much he wants to survive for and I think he is beginning to see there may be reason in listening.”

As he walked away, she tried not to think that if he failed it would mean she had lost them both. All or nothing. And still she didn’t regret the Unbreakable Vow. She would do all she could to ensure Draco survived. She could only hope it meant Snape would survive, too. There was someone waiting for him and she wondered who they were. If they knew what the war might cost him. If they knew what it meant for them to be someone he wanted to come back to. And all without a Vow. 

“Thank you,” she said, quietly, before he could raise his wand to lift the wards and silencing charms.

He glanced back and one side of his mouth pulled up in a smile. A moment later, he was gone.

She took Draco’s letter from beneath the pillows beside her and curled up, her fingers tracing his words, smiling despite the tears. He was alive. Bored by his arithmancy classes, annoyed with Slughorn’s teaching, and suspiciously lacking in talk of quidditch. But he was alive. 

Snape suspected a house-elf had been asked to note when he was leaving because Bellatrix followed him out onto the porch. She looked him up and down, eyes lingering for a moment on his wand.

“Cissa will live,” he said.

It was a rare arrow to sling at her. Her eyes narrowed and there was the hint of a sneer which threatened an Unforgivable but almost unwillingly, and as if it caused her pain, she schooled her expression. “You better hope she does.”

Bellatrix went back indoors and Snape didn’t hesitate in leaving the Manor, despite knowing he was to face Andromeda.

He Apparated to Tonks cottage, and before he reached the door, Andromeda was standing in the open doorway, the glow of firelight behind her as she stood with arms crossed. Neither raised their wand and neither made to speak.

The echoes of Tonks being in St Mungo’s crept around Andromeda, twisting through the cold night air, somewhere she wanted to be and couldn’t. She glanced up at the sky despite knowing her sister wasn’t there. Not the sister who she was desperate for news of. Not—

“Bellatrix smoothed the way for me to see Narcissa,” said Snape. He wasn’t sure why he told her, except he had seen her gaze drift towards the stars. Then he remembered all the times he had seen Narcissa do the same. “I did what was requested of me.”

Andromeda nodded stiffly. They both looked up when they heard footsteps. Ted appeared from the darkness of the garden and looked back and forth between Andromeda and Snape.

“Cissa went through with her decision,” said Snape.

A gentle frown creased Ted’s features then he sighed and nodded. Andromeda’s sharp intakes of breath cut through the cold night like shards of ice and he moved to stand beside her.

“Dora?” asked Ted, quietly.

“Was well when she left.” Snape rubbed the spot above his eye where headaches always seemed to begin. Where he had hit marble once too often. Then he looked at Andromeda. “She had suspicions about who the potion was for and wondered if you knew.”

Ted sighed heavily and Snape searched Andromeda’s eyes for the briefest moment. Then Snape turned and followed the path away from the cottage. Once he was across the boundaries, he Disapparated without hesitation. 

Ted closed the distance as Andromeda uncrossed her arms and reached out for him. He put his arms around her and she buried her face in his cloak.

“She’s going to get hurt,” Andromeda whispered. 

“I know,” said Ted.

Snape Apparated to Hogsmeade, and was leaning against a tree while he let his gaze drift from constellation to constellation when the glow from a charm surrounded him.

“Sir?” said Savage, as the Homenum Revelio faded. 

“You're on your own?” he asked, walking away from the edge of the woodland and towards Savage.

“Tonks had to take someone to the Ministry,” they said. “She’ll be back any minute.”

“My associates?” 

“Drunk wizard with ambitions of taking down Aurors,” said Savage, shrugging.

Snape gave an empty laugh and looked Savage up and down when he stopped a few feet from them. “Were either of you harmed?” 

“No,” they said, shaking their head.

He had known them too long, and seen them at their darker points too many times. “Spit it out, Savage.”

“Why does Molly hate Slytherins?” they asked, looking up from the ground, their arms crossed.

Snape sighed. “Her reasons, so far as I know, differ little from that of others.”

Savage nodded and wrapped their arms around themself. There was a crack of Apparition as Tonks appeared a short distance away.

“I found something that belongs to you,” called Savage.

Tonks was trying to sort out her gloves and didn’t look up as she trudged across the wet ground towards them. “What?” Then she slipped on a patch of ice and slammed into the ground. Groaning, her head shot up when she heard two sets of footsteps approaching her. “Severus?”

She held out her hands and he helped her up. Without thinking, she stepped closer and leant against him.

“I’ll give you both a minute,” said Savage, smirking. “I want her back in one piece, by the way, and good for patrolling.”

“Thanks,” said Tonks, feeling her cheeks burn as Snape laughed. She watched Savage disappear behind a building then turned to Snape. “How was everyone at home and at the Manor?”

“How was the Burrow?”

“You first,” she insisted.

“What do you expect me to tell you?” He pushed her hair from her face and she turned to kiss his hand.

“A highly edited truth.”

“There were no Unforgivables,” he said, after a moment. “How about the Burrow?”

“Pretty much the same.”

His low laugh wound around her and she searched his eyes. She knew there was no point fighting for more information.

“You came back,” she said, softly, leaning in to press her lips to his.

He conceded to the kiss for mere seconds before pulling away and stroking her cheek. 

Tonks stole another kiss before taking slow steps back. She hesitated, chewing her lip as she watched him. She had stepped into the pool of torchlight and he seemed almost to have disappeared into the shadows. Swallowed words threatened to choke her then she turned away and ran towards the high street.

He listened to her footsteps until they were all but gone before he turned away and headed back to the castle.

Savage looked up when they heard Tonks running towards them, and they embraced her as soon as she came to a halt. The Aurors swayed on the spot until Tonks pulled away and took Savage’s hand in hers. Together, they fell into step, and walked down the empty high street.


End file.
